Monday, November 29, 2010

Mirror or 2-way Glass???

How can you tell when you are in a room, restroom, motel etc. with a mirror or a 2-way glass?

Here's how: I thought it was quite interesting! And I know in about 30 seconds you're going to do what I did and find the nearest mirror.


Do you know how to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not? A policewoman who travels all over the US and gives seminars and techniques for businesswomen passed this on.


When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them)? There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms . It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by looking at it.
So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is GENUINE mirror.


However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE! IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR!


"No Space, Leave the Place" So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.


REMEMBER. No Space, Leave the Place:


Ladies: Share this with your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, etc.
Men: Share this with your wives, daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers, girlfriends and/or friends.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sunday & Football

Okay, survived Thanksgiving which was very nice but informed my daughter this was her last one.  Talk about a look of shock, she thought she had done something wrong.  I explained to her:  "Look, if I do Thanksgiving next year, you do Christmas and that means, Clint doesn't have to leave his toys or home on Christmas Day, just us grandparents travel to your house vs all of you coming over here, get it?"  Understood and accepted!!!

Did the Black Friday number but not early like some folks, that makes no bloody sense to me. As long as you get in line and pay for stuff by 1:00 p.m., all is good. And come on, not everyone is gonna get a free flat screen TV, washer, dryers, etc.  --- just a few very lucky people.  In fact, going later in the day, early evening, sees fewer people and you still buy stuff, so what the hell.

Oh my goodness, Willie Nelson arrested again for marijuana.  I mean, how many times has this happened?  He gets arrested, admits its his, goes to jail, pays the fine and off he goes...happy as a lark.  The man has openly admitted he favor legalizing this weed and he will continue to smoke it too.  Hell he probably grows it on his bus!!!

Okay, how about the TSA madness.  You can have a full body scan, rather revealing or a pat down that is down right invasive in my humble opinion.  Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm all for security and while I realize this is important and helpful I still find it distasteful.  I mean, come on the damn airlines are robbing us blind and now they get a free feel too -- WTF?  I'm for traveling by train, at least that doesn't invade my personal space or allow a free groping!!!

As for me, hopefully nobody will want me to leave my house (however I am out of cough syrup, damnit) so I plan to get comfy and watch football all damn afternoon, and that includes chair naps as well.  Oh I may flip to the tennis channel too as there is tennis match today as well...Nadal vs Federer in London...year end number and that will be fun to watch too.  And I got leftover turkey and stuffing to keep me happy as well.  Oh man, I'm really gonna need to go to Curves on Monday and work out big time. 

You all have a nice day and behave yourself -- oh hell, kick up your heels if you must.  I threatened to go to Wal-Mart, go into the dressing room, wait a  bit and then yell, "hello, need some help here, no toilet paper!" 

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday...duh!

Ya, I know, its Friday and the day after Thanksgiving and for some reason its known as Black Friday.  Oh hell, look it up as to why it got this name...I can't do everything for you.

It's also 43 degrees, raining and the wind, well, let's just say, its a whipping the flags pretty damn good out there.  And my dau doesn't want to break tradition and wants to go shopping.  But before all that madness begins, hubby and I are going to breakfast and make one stop to include in the Minnesota Christmas box, which we hope to mail today or tomorrow.

If you are a Facebook fan and many are, you will see all the comments about the fabulous meal everyone had yesterday.  Nobody ever writes about the lousy meals, isn't that odd?  I mean, you cannot make me believe that something you had wasn't as good as you expected but then again, everything I ate was great so maybe on this day, all cooks are granted major abilities!!!

So once I brave the elements and the shopping madness, I may come back and report how much fun it was -- hell, if nothing else, I can watch people and have them wonder, along with me, why in hell are we doing this?  Take care and have a lovely day!!!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Yup, Happy Thanksgiving

Yes folks another Thanksgiving has arrived and like many, I too will pig out and say to hell with any diet or thought to restrain myself...all those goodies were made with love and need to be eaten, right?

I am so grateful for so many things this year and sadden that my  beloved brother, Warren, is not here with us -- his spirit will always be amongst us, along with my parents and other brothers, but his smile and laughter I shall never hear again, except in my memory and that is strong.

Yesterday, as I was baking and doing various things (after all, my daughter is doing the actual dinner but I have my assignments) I was thinking (1) I need to stop and rest and (2) isn't it fun to just stand here, peeling taters and remembering childhood Thanksgivings!  We always had a crowd and whilst the food was great and lots of it, mostly there was a ton of dishes which my sisters and I got to wash -- what the hell was that all about? 

Just thinking about all that food, the various dishes and things we had never seen before or eaten and then, the same comments every year; "why don't we eat this more often, why do we wait for Thanksgiving to fix turkey?"  In some households, its not turkey but ham, which is great too.  I love how folks mix up the menu and have different things.

Please be thankful for all that you have and had, let's be kinder to each other and keep our loved ones close to our hearts and be grateful for all our memories and moments on this earth.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

$34.50

Incident At Cabela's
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'

He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.'

She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.'

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'

He replies, 'Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Truths for Mature Adults

1. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. [this depends pretty much on what your legacy is set up to be.]

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (#1)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. I have a LOT of good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment, when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. ["legacy" and "good stories" fit in right about here.....for ALL of us. LOL]

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?[does "yes, dear" fit in here?]

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty.Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. [I dont wear a watch, but that damned clock on the wall.....]

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time,every time!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Old Farmer's Advice




Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.”

“Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.”

“Don't judge folks by their relatives.

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.”

“Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.”

“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

“The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.”

“If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.”

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply,

Speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.”

“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”
And.........................................

Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come pull your ass out of a bind you’ve gotten yourself into!!!

S&&^%$(*&^&%^
So we got us another sunny day and the temps are rising as I type...currently 36 degrees -- wow.  I hear dogs barking like crazy and have no idea what in hell that means, are they chasing squirrels, ducks or deer?  Cats are chasing field mice for damn sure.

Not sure what I am doing today -- football Sunday is always fun for me,love the football season.  But I really need to get outside for awhile too -- that fresh air just makes my day so much nicer.

Have a good one folks, keep smiling and remember, this side of the dirt is always good!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Cold Season

Ya, it never fails, this is the time of year when colds hit because we have this back and forth weather.  Rain, sunshine, slush (maybe white stuff), temps in the 30s, then the 40s and wham 60s...we dress inappropriately and catch cold -- hello people, it is November, the days of shorts and short sleeve tops are over -- a light jacket and hear gear is now necessary.

I know, I hate to wear a hat too but come on, we all know heat escapes via the head and we need to keep heat inside our bodies not allow it to escape. So don some silly ass hat, the goofier the better and wear it.  Everyone else will be, so you won't look totally stupid.

Hey, did you know turning up the tunes and dancing for 20 minutes is a great way to burn 104 calories and relax the body, and mind?  Sweet Mama, let's dance...but please, close the curtains first...thanks.


I know he doesn't look sick but poor little boy caught his first cold, runny nose and fever, and wham off to the doctor. Temp of 102 and an ear infection.

So while Mommy works today and Daddy attempts to fix the boiler and do some household chores, Grammy has her boy and we got the humidifier going full steam and he is currently napping and looking much better today too.


So, it is Saturday and this year, my son, who finally is able to go to deer camp after his rough last year experiences (Mayo Clinic for treatment of follicular lymphoma and then open heart surgery)-- has his son with him. This is a first for Alex and he is dressed just like Dad, orange hat and coat!  He won't get to shoot anything, too young, but he can sit in deer stands and learn how to be quiet and wait for the deer (this should prove interesting).  It's a great bonding experience and I know my son is loving every minute of this adventure.  Back home his wife and daughter are having a Mother/Daughter outing at the community center...wow....the fun just never stops, does it!!!



Hey, its gonna reach 60 degrees today, so why don't ya don a hat and jacket and get outside for a little while...that fresh air is the best thing in the world for all your ailments.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day

Veterans Day is an annual United States holiday honoring military veterans. A federal holiday, it is observed on November 11. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)

The holiday is commonly printed as Veteran's Day or Veterans' Day in calendars and advertisements.

As a Vietnam Veteran, I am proud to show my support and respect for all those who have served, will served and continue to serve this great country.  I hope you get a chance to show and say thanks to as many Vets as you can and that includes those currently serving.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Desert Island

One day a man decided to retire.

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches , and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree ."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. " On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you ," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada ?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. " You mean..." , he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, " You've built a golf course?"  [why did I see something like this coming?]

There's the News -- Again


I know, I know, we all listen to the news whether we want to or not. I mean, you’re driving, listening to music and suddenly, its time for chatter and it’s always the news, right? You turn on your TV, even commercial free channels and damnit, somehow the news sips into them too…well, not as much but we tend to “flip” channels during boring parts and we end up hearing or seeing some news item, right?


I’m on my way to Curves and yup, the news is filling the silence like I didn’t need silence. First off, if a teenager is obese and does nothing to stop this, by age 30 they will be extremely obese? Huh? Why isn’t someone asking; “wait, I was skinny as a kid, not fat, skinny and for most of my life, I was relatively thin, so explain to me why I hit 60 I am now obese?” What fat gene did I suppress for so many years???


Then I hear about all these “exercise” and “family fun” games for the X-Box and Wii. Excuse me, how big is your living/family room? Have you seen those commercials where the entire family is playing these games together? Sweet Mama, if my entire family played at the same time, we’d knock each other out or being pushing for space!!! And my tiny brain is saying; “can’t they all just go outside and take a walk, isn’t that good, clean, and healthy family fun?” Ya, I know, walking is great but so are family games, I get it and this does get people off their butts but I keep having this nagging thought that “hey, we need another TV, cuz I wanna watch my programs, not play these stupid ass games!”


With the economy in the dire straits and so many folks out of work, I think stores are down right stupid for not offering the lay-away plan. Come on, this is perfect and payment is doable when broken up and if they don’t pay, they don’t get the stuff, what’s the problem? Oh, you might have to hire a few more people to handle this option – gee, that would be horrible! Damnit, we need to help each other here and if you want us to shop and buy, give us some incentive and possibilities we can handle.


One more news item….seems there’s this alcoholic energy drink for college kids or those who need a burst of energy to get them thru whatever. Now here is the kicker, you all ready drank coffee or a soda and then, you have this booze drink and wham, your ass is in the emergency room. This is one lethal energy drink and folks are being told to avoid it. Avoid what? They don’t even tell us the bloody name of this sucker!


And that is how my day started – it’s gonna get better tho---headed to the Thai Restaurant for lunch and shall share the meal with a friend as we swap stories and laugh like little kids – hey, it’s our day, let us do it our way!!!

Grandchildren

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....


2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"



3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"



4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."


The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"



5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.



6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"



8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."



9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."



10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"


"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'."



11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.


"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.


"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.


"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."


A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."



13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."


14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!



15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

Ya gotta love the little devils, their logic and innocence is just to pure.  Have a good day!!!





Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Who is Happier?



Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES


· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.


· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D !ckhead and Sh!t for Brains.



EATING OUT


· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.


· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY


· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.


· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS


· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.


· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS


· A woman has the last word in any argument.


· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE


· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS


· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



MARRIAGE


· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.


· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP


· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.


· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL


· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.


· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING


· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.


· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Two Brooms

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.


One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.


The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.


After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt!


'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!' (Sounds to me like she's been sweeping around.)
*&*^*&^(&

Oh come on, you needed some Monday humor!  Ye gads,you are hard to please today -- get over yourself all ready.  Yes, it is Monday, so what, each week has this day, really, so what's your problem?


This is not what you think,the bird is losing his feathers, not pooping~~~
 
Hells bells, I had to "fast" on my birthday and this morning I was at the Lab for blood work and you wanna whine about it being Monday!!!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's My Day:)

Yes it is my birthday -- aren't you just thrilled?  Best part about this day is due to fasting for blood work tomorrow, I can't really enjoy my birthday in my normal fashion, meaning (no beer or wine).

Went to Watertown yesterday with Kel and Clint for some early holiday shopping. First stop was Red Lobster (hadn't been there in years)and pigged out in fine fashion (needed a nap vs shopping but we did shop).

Found some neat stuff (sorry can't tell ya, as its presents for Christmas) and of course, people watching is always fun.  I love how folks "rip"into some box to see what its all about, how it works, etc., then seeing all parts are included, grab a box that is fully wrapped and sealed!  Why in hell didn't ya take the one you ripped apart and know has all working parts?

Then you have fun folks who got the kids stuck in a shopping cart, still bundled up and hotter than hell, and what do they do, stop and chat for along periods of time and threaten the kid with everything under the sun for complaining about being hot or this is boring! And they usually don't move for you either,block the aisle, shelves and think this is no reason to even ask them to move -- no way!!!

Oh ya, and the season is just beginning.  Now, what I did notice was long lines for the lay-a-away section.  Man, carts were piled high with stuff and then, stand in line and wait your turn.  I never understood why they only have one person working this particular section...would it hurt ya to hire a few more so this could go a bit faster?

Well, it is Sunday and that means FOOTBALL -- so after a few errands, I plan to plop myself in my chair and watch the games.  Ya, I know and you know this also means a chair nap!!

Have a good one and yes, thanks for the birthday wishes too.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.


The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'


The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.



Oh give it up, there aren't many tennis matches happening now...a few left before we end this season a prepare for the next.  However, as much as I love tennis, I also enjoy watching football games, so I'm golden.

Silly weather is driving me bonkers! Wednesday was delightful -- sunny, brisk, light breeze and just a beautiful Fall day, then it ended and now we have seen nothing but rain and they keep saying; "soon we shall see white stuff too."  You know what, bring on the white stuff.  As wet as it is, it ain't gonna stick anyway.

Hey, don't forget to set your clock back Saturday -- we got a lovely extra hour of sleep and then, hey, we can drive out in the morning and see where we are going...I so dislike those dark drives!!!  How can I spot Bambi when its dark???

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Birthday Boy

To use a line my daughter used, 41 years ago I became a mother for the first time and I am happy to wish my beloved son a very happy birthday and to tell him, again, how proud I am of him. 

He is an amazing son, husband and father -- now that says it all and best of all, he has a smile that lights up the entire world...here are a few photos of him over the years:


So the election is over or is it? Still got some ballots to count and some hopefuls that this will pull some candidates into office. Sorry, but I'm pretty sure the ones who are posted as winners now, shall remain winners even when all the ballots are counted.

Not sure what to think of all the newly elected folks but hey, every damn one of these people said; "I'll create jobs, I'll not raise taxes, etc."  I mean, you said what we wanted to hear but we ain't stupid, how in hell do you plan to bring in jobs when we have this huge debt hanging over our heads?  It might be better to stop aid to every country and ask the ones who owe us for our money back (ya, lots of luck with that, they are as broke as us). So what is the solution? 

Go back to basics and stop living high off the hog cause the hog ain't around anymore.  Do you really need three TV sets?  Come on, get creative with the hamburger -- you can't afford steak so forget it.  And while you're sitting on your lazy ass bitching about everything, why don't you volunteer and put your skills to work. Did you know, that many folks who started out, started out as a volunteer???

So I went to Curves, had a good work out there, then came home switch shoes (breaking in new tennis shoes) and went for a lovely walk. Ya,needed a hat and gloves but still it was a great walk and on a crisp November morning it was fantastic.  Even watched a woodpecker pecking at this tree...took a photo but it ain't very clear -- see what I mean:



Needed my bigger camera, huh? 

Gotta tell ya,the lake was peaceful and nice this morning...some days I catch deer drinking, ducks swimming and turtles doing whatever turtles do but sometimes, just reflections make the stop breathtaking.




Okay, delayed long enough, time to hit the shower and later off to the beauty shop to get my locks trimmed -- long hair and me just don't work well together.  Have a lovely day and keep smiling, life is good folks!


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Go VOTE

Yes, damnit, get out there and vote and maybe the bloody damn phone calls will cease.  I mean, come on, calls from Bill Clinton, George Pakati, Madonna, etc...this is really annoying, they never take our questions, always doing all the damn talking!!!

Ya, I thought I'd give ya a look at various bird photos!  As the colder weather approaches, many of these will truly be looking for food and I have my bird feeders ready. What puzzles me is why none found my bird house that appealing?  Oh wait, I didn't really secure it that good and during a wind storm it blew outta the tree, that might have been a good reason not to build a nest here, ya think? But I did re-hang it and this time, secured it firmly but still no renters.  Hell, it was cheap rent and good right out the front door -- how much more appealing did they want?  No, I wasn't gonna furnish the damn thing....not that good.

Well, it is 25 degrees, the heater is cranked up and hopefully my grandson and I shall be warm and comfy today.  Hey, the sun is shining too.  I know it is cold but later, both of us shall bundle up and go for a walk...well, I will walk,he will ride. But I've been known to haul his butt out of the stroller and let his walk about too...hey, fresh air is good for both of us, right?

Ya, why don't you get out too--go vote but also spend a few minutes taking in that crisp Fall air...what the hell, does a body good.  More tomorrow...behave and damnit, go VOTE!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Happy November 1st

Yes, it is now November, did you fall asleep and miss it or just refuse to acknowledge another month is here?  Actually this is my favorite month for a couple of reasons. Amongst other things, we'll end daylight savings time and perhaps see "light" when going to places in the early hours!!!

First it was the month, years ago when I became a Mother for the first time and I have a beautiful son who I wished lived closer so I could see his smiling face more often.

Second, its also my older sister's birth month -- we have some fond childhood memories but more precious senior moments -- and yes, Jan, Jesus will have to wait.

Third, my favorite holiday is this month -- I just love Thanksgiving and have some fantastic memories of this day from childhood straight thru to this day...and damnit, I'm still making memories

Fourth this is the month we thank and acknowledge all of our Veterans, I happen to be one you know and its nice that we are remembered and thanked for the service we pulled, are pulling and shall pull to keep this country strong and free.

Oh, take a look at this collage of my youngest grandson...who is now ONE year old:

Ya, I know the weather is getting colder too... supposedly dropping into the twenties tonight.  And tomorrow, finally, the voting will happen.  Maybe then we can get some rest from all these damn campaign ads and phone calls. What cracks me up is seeing yard, after yard, with every one's campaign sign in their yard -- even they don't know who to vote for or maybe they are collecting the signs to use as place mats later?

More another day, I feel a chair nap coming on...ya, I doth love those chair naps and while you too take them, I at least admit to them!!!

OhYa, Monday night Football -- yay!!!  What?  You don't like football -- get out!!!