Where do I Buy a License

A blonde orders a beer.

The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them....

The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out.

The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts

To lick her breasts and she decks him! He is lying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady... Why do you let the bartender do it?' "Helloooo!", says the blonde, 'He has a licker license!'

Just can't take a chance

Gosh I hope you can read this, it is cute.  I tried to just copy the writing but that didn't work, hence the photo too.

Well, another rainy, damp dreary day and yes, we needed the rain but it can stop any ole time. But why in hell did our temps have to drop too?  I mean, come on, we were enjoying 70 and 80 sometimes low 90s and then, wham, it was in the lower 50s and down right chilly...pretty damn bad when the heater kicks on in summer!!!

Front Porch

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God saw it was good. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Advice from the Back Pew

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the
congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they
passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded;
so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the
congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's
expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued,
as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the
church, and how much more It could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his
chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as
many gifts as He gives us." Silence fell over the congregation. In
the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said
in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too
much of it, we wear rubbers." The entire congregation said, "Amen.

Gotta love those senior citizens!


Hope everyone's Friday is being nice for them. Another "hot" one here and nope, not bitching about the heat. We waited to damn long so you just better suck it up and enjoy it.  Luckily many of the local beaches are free and you can pack up a snack, bring a lawn chair (or blanket) and just hang out at the beach.

This morning I emptied and refilled the pool...not exactly my fave job but now that I have this battery-operated siphon, it's not that big a deal.  I'm sure my grandson will be over this weekend, or even tonight for a swim and if the mood hits, I'll hop in too.  My daughter is saying we need to get my kayak wet this weekend, which sounds wonderful but I also would like the carpet put down on my deck, which means moving stuff off it (i.e. table, chairs, flower pots) so the carpet can be put down, then putting stuff back...it sounds like a horrible job but it's really nice having outdoor carpet on the deck and yes, my awning keeps it cool so your feet are not hot!  Yes of course, we could do both but we'll see how things go.

Keep smiling people, life is good.  We all faces challenges but hey, keeping a positive outlook helps with all adventures and of course, the biggest score you  have is FAITH!

Lemon Juice

Lemon juice - This is amazing news, and I had never known about it !!!.

PAGE DOWN, IMPORTANT TO READ !!

Funny, I remember my Grandma doing the lemon in water thing to keep "regular".

Interesting !!!

Everyone should move to Florida and plant lemon trees.

Useful info that may help someone ....
LISTEN UP FOLKS: This is something that we should all take seriously – just had a recent test myself that sent shivers up my spine – or near by – Even doctors are now saying that there is value in trying “LEMON”

So, a tablespoon of "real lemon" (the concentrate in a bottle) in a glass of water every morning. What can it hurt?

Institute of Health Sciences, 819 N. L.L.C. Charles Street Baltimore , MD 1201.
This is the latest in medicine, effective for cancer!
Read carefully and you be the judge.

Lemon(Citrus) is a miraculous product to kill cancer cells. It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy.

Why do we not know about that? Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits.

You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy.

How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the beneficial multi-millionaires large corporations? As you know, the lemon tree is known for its varieties of lemons and limes. You can eat the fruit in different ways: you can eat the pulp, juice press, prepare drinks, sorbets, pastries, etc...

It is credited with many virtues, but the most interesting is the effect it produces on cysts and tumors. This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types. Some say it is very useful in all variants of cancer. It is considered also as an anti-microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure which is too high and as an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.

The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that: It destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas ... The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells. And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells.

&&&&&&&&&

I have no idea how valid the above is, it was sent to me and I figured, what the hell, pass it along.  Lemon juice is good regardless and if it helps with cysts and/or tumors, so be it.  Hells bells, we got all kinds of medicine these days, some bloody expensive and some well, old fashion stuff so who knows.

So how is the week going for you folks?  Hard to believe this month is nearly over, eh?  I'm having some medical challenges but I shall get through all of them too.  Looking forward to see my Minnesota kids in August and having both kids and families here for a few days...didn't want to plan to many outings as most just wanna sit around, drink, swim and relax on the deck.  Plus got some cool meals planned and not much work, so its all good.

Well, I am sweating like a pregnant nun in confession so time to crank up the ac. Keep smiling.

Senior Moment

A Great Senior Moment!      Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester.     There were protesters at the grocery store handing out pamphlets on the evils of America .     I politely declined to take one..     There was an elderly woman was behind me and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.  The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, "Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq?"     The old woman looked up at her and said:     "Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam .     All three died so a bitch like you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it."     ~ God Bless America ~  I love getting old....

Momma Mia

MOMMA  MIA

For several  years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.


One night,  she confided to him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his  reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
large sum of money if she would go  back to Italy to secretly have the
child.

Also, if she stayed in Italy  to raise the child, he would provide
child support until the child turned 18.


She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.


To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and

Write “Spaghetti” on the back when the child was born.


He would  then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.

One day, about 8  months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “You  received a very strange postcard today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and  I’ll explain it later,” he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her  husband read the card, turned
white, and fainted.

On the  card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra  sauce.

Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old
Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin .

In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.
Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image
staring back at him.

'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the
way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in
the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go
there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.
So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the
mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'

D-Day

Wow, D-day and many of us won't even acknowledge it or recall what this day was all about, how sad is that?

As for me, I shall remember and think of my uncles who fought during WWII and the fact that I lost one uncle in the Battle of the Bulge.  He rests peacefully in Belgium -- I visited his grave years ago, met the family who took care of his resting place, putting flowers on it on the date of his death and keeping it clean.  Yes, it's a military cemetery but the Belgium people never forgot what these men and women did and this is their way to honor them.

Today a grosbeak decided to visit my feeders, I have no real clue what type of bird this was, so I had to seek assistance from Facebook friends, who quickly informed me, its a grosbeak.

I understand the males are attractive the females, not so much.

 In the meantime, the cardinal keeps coming back and even brings his mate/girlfriend. She is a tad more cautious than the male and its harder to capture her on film.

Ah yes, the hummingbird, they continue to visit but I learned, thanks to my son-in-law that its the red liquid that attracts them and when this becomes cloudy or fades, they ain't gonna drink it..duh.

Yes,our weather has been the pits, so sick of this wet stuff and worse, many of us have been forced to turn our heat back on to remove the damp chill that somehow entered our homes.  Hells bells, I was actually wearing a sweatshirt and long pants...plus socks.  Needless to say, all this damn rain has definitely caused the grass to grow and once again, waiting for dry weather so we can mow...ah the joys of Spring.  Wait, when does summer start again?  Oh ya,June 20th

So this is my Wednesday, ain't it grand. Have a good one.  By the way, do you know how they make Holy Water?  Boil the piss out of it!

The Buzzard, Bee, Bat, People

THE BUZZARD

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by

8 feet, and is entirely open at the top,

the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will

be an absolute prisoner.

The reason is that a buzzard always begins a

flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12

feet.

Without space to run, as is its habit, it will

not even attempt to fly,

but will remain a prisoner for life in a small

jail with no top.

--------------------------------------------------------------

THE BAT

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a

remarkable nimble creature in the air,

cannot take off from a level place.

If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all

it can do is shuffle about helplessly

and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some

slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the

air.

Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

-------------------------------------------------------------

THE BUMBLEBEE

A bumblebee, if

dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out.

It never sees the means of escape at the top,

but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.

It will seek a way where none exists, until it

completely destroys itself.

-------------------------------------------------------------

PEOPLE

In many ways, we

are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee.

We struggle about with all our problems and

frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!

That's the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem...

just look up!

Sorrow looks back,

Worry looks around,

But faith looks up!

Live simply,

love generously,

care deeply,

speak kindly,

and trust in our

Creator,

 

who loves us.

 

Share this with a friend...

I just did.

 

Have a good day!

Spread the Stupidity

Only in This Stupid World
......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the
Store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in This Stupid World
.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in This Stupid World
.....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters..

Only in This Stupid World
......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put
Our useless junk in the garage.

Only in This Stupid World ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
Packages of eight..


Only in This Stupid World .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER
...

Why the sun lightens
Our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why don't you ever see the
Headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is
'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that
Doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made
With artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who
Invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of
Day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there
Mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah
Swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the
Needle for lethal injections?

You know that
Indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep
Shrink when it rains?


Why are they called
Apartments when they are all stuck together?

I like this one!!!

If con is the opposite of 

Pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so 

Safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?

Memory Lane

Every now and then, it's fun to look at photos taken years ago and remember places I have lived, worked and played.  For the most part these are fond memories and still invoke giggles and treasured moments.

Pregnant with our son but stupid drinking beer.

Gotta love a man in a kilt.

Some castle in Belgium with Jim Watson

 Dean and I riding donkey in  Hydra, Greece

Downtown Athens at night

Ya,you know what this is!

Good ole Switzerland

Kel at about 3 yrs

Castle trip and yes we spent a week in this castle.

See, I told ya, photos invoke memories, smiles and fond moments.  Don't wait for cold weather to review ole photos.

Slip n Slide

What a wonderful weekend, lots of warm weather, hell, at times it was down right HOT.



Now let's see if this show up.  I'm telling ya, a few falls like Clint did, and you'd not see me doing this again but he's a tough little bugger and just keeps going.

He didn't wait for his pool water to warm up either, he was in that pool as soon as his Daddy got it filled and honey, that was some cold-ass water.  His little teeth we're just a clanging but no way was he getting out.

Then, Meme came home and decided she needed to get his pool out and ready at her house too. I was sweating like I don't know what as I had to hold the air pump on the pool value in the hot sun. Once inflated, I could not toss in the hose and move away as it filled.  Move away, hell, I grabbed a beer and sat on the upper deck, under the awning, hoping to cool down as the sweat continued to roll down and off me.  Inside the a/c was going nicely and cooling down the house and here I sat, outside in the heat.  Talk about stupid.

While us NY kids were doing this, the Minnesota kids were in Duluth at a Jr Islanders hockey tournament and yes, they won the championship.  They sent me the link to the webcam and I got to watch some of the action, really cool and congrats to the entire team. I know the ride home was long and hopefully, all homework was done because Monday was and is a school day!!!

Hubby is back from his "outings" which included places like Albany, Chicago, Milwaukee, Syracuse, Waterloo, Sandy Creek, etc. and now, I can do up his laundry...traveling man is one tired puppy so he's definitely sleeping in this morning.

And the best news is my sister will here over Memorial weekend,hurrah.  We'll fix Patrick a bang-up birthday dinner on the 28th and yes, we'll do the cemetery runs too.  Gotta say hi to our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.  My parents did this for years and when they died, I said I'd carry on the tradition, hopefully with other family members joining me.  Doesn't always happen but it is nice when they can join me. Plant flowers, talk to the folks and make sure they know they are not forgotten.

Busy week ahead of me, have Clint on Tuesday, hurrah.  Wednesday Shirley and I should be able to do our weekly lunch number and then, who knows, maybe I'll rip down more boxes if my energy level remains up.  Ripped down a bunch Saturday morning and thought I had done them all until I went to the garage and saw the stack we had out there -- damn!  Mostly tho, I'm gonna enjoy this warm weather and with any real luck, figure out how to set up and use my inflatable kayak.  Ya, I know, I keep talking about it, saying I'm gonna use and so far, haven't taken it out of its carry bag. This has to stop, cause I really wanted use this sucker.

So you all have a good week, okay?

Flower+Grandson+ FUN

 Last year Clint helped me plant flowers and in the process, found the hose and in due course,"hosed" me and the house.  It was quite the party!






This year, he is two and a half years old and I kept the hose away from him...he used the watering can.

Ya,he looks so innocent here, right?







I know, this year's photos would be nice but unfortunately,they are still on my iphone and I have yet to figure out how to post them directly to my blog via the phone.  I can post them on Facebook but -----  regardless,this year's flower planting was much easier and we both worked hard and got exhausted in quick order.  Fun day tho.

So here's my summer game plan or as it stands at the moment. First my sister will come up over Memorial weekend and help with the grave site flower number.  Then in August the Minnesota Rourk's shall arrive and let the good times roll.  In September, if all goes as planned, head to Vermont to meet up with my Nam buddy and continue our memory lane number.  Its amazing how much we actually remember from those days in Nam,40 some odd years later when we get together.

Oh and this weekend Alex is playing in some Jr Islanders hockey tournament in Duluth and so far, they won two and had another game to play at 4:30 but I haven't heard that score.  And this afternoon (well, actually around 10 a.m. ) the final of the Rome, Madrid tennis final - soon the French Open shall begin and once again, I shall be stuck to the TV.

So you all have a good Sunday, for once we are having a nice warm,dry weekend...loving it.

More Birds

Yes, yes and yes, its a hummingbird.  The first one to visit my feeder this year and yes, I am excited.

My grandson saw this and said, "Oh how cute, he's small Meme."

And while the hummer is enjoying his seemingly "solo" diner, the cardinals are having a blast.  Now if I have this right, the bright red ones are the males and the less attractive are the females.

Yes, the female cardinals are red but not as bright and a bit more cautious than the males.  The males tend to stand guard and allow the female to venture forward to get food.

Now even the females are coming on to my deck and they are some fat birds...maybe they are pregnant?

Oh yes, the damn rain continues and while hubby did manage to get the lawn mowed Sunday, its been raining off and on every since...but without mowing we'd need to hire a farmer and baler.

This is Clint's tomato plant.  We started from a seed, and Saturday we transplanted into this bigger container.

Oh stop, we did this last year too and it worked nicely and we had tomatoes up the eye balls.  He doesn't like tomatoes but he loves catsup.  And if we make salsa he likes that too.

Of course Woody Woodpecker has to show up and show off too.  Why pound his beak into a tree when a bird feeder is so much easier and less noise!

So its Wednesday, lunch with my sister-in-law and my turn to pick the spot and at this point, I am clueless...well, guess I'd better think real hard, eh?

Have a lovely day.

Measured

If this doesn't make you laugh, you might be humor impaired!

The Air Force found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.

I Love This Country!
It's The Government That
Scares The Hell Outa Me!

4-Wheeling

Hello,

Yes, it is Sunday and yes, I have my heat back on -- this damn weather is driving me bonkers.  I cannot believe I needed to turn the heater on because this house and I were chilled to the bone!

Yesterday was great fun and a first for me. First my grandson took me for a walk in the woods, over to the gravel pit and of course, he had to hike through every puddle he could find.  He was doing good until he slipped and now, he was thoroughly wet but didn't seemed to care.  His mother and I were most anxious to get him home, changed and dry but that wasn't his agenda (however, we did that in due course too).  And while on this hike,he talked constantly and pointed things out to me. As Daddy had recently "brush-hogged" the area, stuff was sticking up in places and he warned me;"be careful Meme, don't trip!"

Then, back to the house and dry clothes and now he wanted to ride motorcycle with Daddy. Well, Daddy is game and once his helmet was on, it was off they went.  During which time, my daughter decided Mom should go 4-wheeling!  Well, that was also gonna include "mud-bogging" too.  Talk about laugh, we just roared and I kept saying; "I'm sliding down and on your back," to which she replied, "Duh, like I didn't know this!"  But the mud holes were the most exciting once I got use to the idea that we would get thru them and tho my butt hurt it was great fun.  She didn't go fast, thank goodness...and I did not fall off but I did lose my hat and we had to stop to get it but other than that, it was a laugh-ride and great fun.  Hell of a way to spend a Saturday morning.

Then, later, after we both had showered, grandson sleeping, we headed into town to do some light shopping.  I needed potting soil so I could transplant the "grow from seed tomato plant" into a bigger container.  And while doing this, I'd also grab a bag of sunflower seeds for the birds.  I mean, if the cardinals continue to visit and like this seed, so be it!  Of course in due time, dau announced she was hungry and we had to get something to eat. So, off to the Chinese place...where we chowed down until we could not eat another bite.

All in all it was a fun Saturday and it actually got warm...I mean, many were outside wearing shorts and light tops,and while I did eventually put on shorts, it was inside wearing only -- hell, I haven't shaved my legs in weeks!!!

So that was my Saturday and altho my legs ache a little today, I was pleased to discover I wasn't as out of shape as i imagined and I'd like to do this again...maybe next time, without the damn mud!!!

Buck Wheat

Another famous American becomes a Muslim

It is becoming a very scary world out there . . . . .

Another Famous American converts to Islam ...

It was announced today that Buckwheat,

Of Our Gang fame, Has converted To

The Muslim faith and changed his name to: Kareem of Wheat.

I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer

*********************************

I just wanted to share my visitor with you -- it has taken a long time for Cardinals to actual visit my bird feeders and trust me, landing on my deck was a treat beyond words.  This is one very hard bird to photograph but amazingly I was in the right place, with camera and at the right time.

However Mr(or Mrs) Squirrel has no issue with eating bird feed wherever s/he can find it. And yes, they are cute but they are also hogs!

And now it is May 4th and so far this month has seen damn little sunshine and lots of rain.  However, in all fairness the temps haven't been too bad, chilly at night and some wicked thunderstorms but temps during the day have been bearable.  My that I mean, a light jacket is sufficient and in some cases, could be too warm if one was wearing a sweatshirt.

Have no idea what the weekend shall bring. Still waiting for a decent day so I can try out my kayak but so far, that number hasn't been possible.  Oh well, it will happen.

I just like this photo,the little guy fishing is no relation but he was having a good time and his Mommy was very patient and helping him as much as he would tolerate. Ya, as this damp weather continues, it makes me wish I was still in Florida but I know that state is heating up big time, so I probably wouldn't like it all that much now...April is the perfect month to visit.

Hey you all have a great weekend, okay?

Dog Wedding

Two families united this weekend in Palm Springs, Calif., at a beautiful wedding - for their dogs. The bride, Scruffy Rubin, wore a lovely custom dress, veil and leash. The groom, Snickers Carter, wore a white tuxedo. The $5,000 affair included a live band, cake, open bar, reception and "priest" to perform the vows. The Twitter users quoted above are outraged over the price tag, but one thing to consider before you join in: The dog parents, Ernie Rubin and Ann Carter, used the event to raise money for the Orphan Pet Oasis Humane Society of the Desert in North Palm Springs.


Ya, this is for real and yes, I am laughing my head off (tried to laugh off my butt it didn't work).  Can you imagine doing this?  I mean this is taking "loving my pets" a bit too far in my book!  Gotta tell ya, my pet rock has no such desires, thank goodness!!!

Never Copy to Copy

Monastery  Life    A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.' He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.  So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing. 'We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !' His forehead is all bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?' With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... CELEB R ATE !!!