Maxine

Yes, it has been awhile and yet we all wait and love to hear from Maxine, right? Oh be quiet, you know you read this crap and laugh just like the rest of us, get over yourself all ready!

Sadly I would have added Maxine cartoons/drawnings but what the hell, her pearls of wisdom are more entertaining than the same-ole cartoons, right? Well Ex--CUSE me, I don't have them, so move on..whiner!

• When I “snap” ---you’ll be the first to go!!
  
• Butt jiggle is just my little way of ---Waving goodbye!
  
• Maybe I’ll wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow …and maybe I won’t!
• I tried paying my taxes with a smile – They wanted money!
  
• Don’t like my attitude? Send me an email at: www.like_I_care.com.
• It’s….one nation UNDER GOD…” or bite my skinny old ass and leave!
• If you MUST burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first!
  
• Real women don’t have hot flashes they have POWER SURGES!
• Men are always whining about how we’re suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you’re not pressing hard enough on the pillow!
• When the neighbors play music too loud, I dance naked. Shuts’ down pretty quick.
• Getting older is like visiting an all-you-can-eat- buffet. What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu.
  
• As far as I’m concerned, the perfect bra is a sweatshirt.
  
• Actually, you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years. Assuming you can stand the sight.

So thar ya go, had a few laughs, didn't ya? Well, you keep smiling, water bugs and life shall keep entertaining you!!!

Maxine Strikes Again.....:)

I think this just about sums it up!!!!

Leave it to Maxine to come up with a solution For the mess that America is in economically now

I bought a bird feeder-- I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, and the table ... everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene..And no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.

Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.Then the illegal’s came by the tens of thousands.

Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the governmentto take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop