Showing posts with label presents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label presents. Show all posts

Sunday, March 7, 2010

MAMA'S BIBLE

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift... The chicken was delicious.. Thank you."

Luv Ya, Mama

Monday, December 21, 2009

Wrapping.....:)


Now, just you hold on one second. Today is the First Day of Winter -- so you can just bite me!

Come on, its 18 degrees, slowly creeping toward 20 and if it goes much higher, why, we'll need to haul out the shorts and tank tops. Just be glad you ain't living south -- like VA, DC, etc...now they got some serious snow and let me say it for you -- ABOUT BLOODY TIME IT WAS THEM INSTEAD OF US!


Okay, I don't know who has this witch but whoever thinks its nice to keep the wrapping fairy its not NICE! Plus,because of you, I had to wrap the damn presents and I hate that job.


I bought a 12-pack of beer, drank six, still wasn't done so I hauled out a bottle of rum and now, well, now I don't give a rip and if that fairy shows up, I'm gonna whomp her ass big time!!!


Oh stop, I know, use tissue paper and a bag, right? Well, I tried that and its a no go at Christmas time...folks like to literally rip paper off gifts -- isn't that silly....come one, think of all the trees we could save if we just ceased this silly notion of wrapping presents!!!


Rum bottle is empty and I see not one present left to be wrapped, so I must be done..hurrah!!!


More later-- I feel a nap coming up....must have been that rum...!