ARE YOU????

Yes, we have all heard this a thousand times, life has its ups and downs. We all deal with such happenings and even write about them to confirm -- we ARE NOT the only ones who experience such events.

I’m now in that group of recent retirees, I figure 1 to 4 years qualifies as a Newbie in this auspicious group of people. After 4 years you pretty much know the ropes, have settled into the retiree mindset and have found ways to cope with whatever comes your way now. As for the Newbies, hell, we are still adjusting and having a blast in the process – not to mention a few bumps along the way too.

One thing I think most retirees discover is they are not in any big hurry. That doesn’t mean they are willing to let everyone go in front of them or they shouldn’t stand up and clearly let it be known they were here first; rather we realize that its no big deal to let a woman with a cart full of groceries and a screaming kid go ahead of us for one reason and one reason only – we are tired of hearing that kid scream! [Plus it proves we ain’t deaf].

We also tend to look around more and yes, take a bit more time. Not because we are slow but because we can – ain’t that a rip! Prior to this we always felt rushed or why bother, can’t afford half this stuff and not really that interested. Now, we can afford half the crap; it’s fun looking and you know what, we wouldn’t take this stuff if they gave it to us -- it’s that bloody ugly or impractical.

Now what is really fun is the store clerk who (1) wonders whether to ask or not and (2) asks then steps back because he has insulted someone who clearly is not a senior citizen[or prefers to keep that secret a bit longer]. Bottom line Senior Citizens get discounts, so what the hell, say yes and enjoy. I used to say yes before I was even close to the so called Senior Citizen status – I was getting stuff for my parents and hell yes, they were Senior Citizens, give me that savings!

In some places your drink is free if you admit you’re a Senior Citizen (non alcoholic, I assure you!). I love it when a 16-year announces he or she is a Senior Citizen and demands that free drink –now that is rich and humorous! But it’s more fun to mess with these clerks and when they ask if you are a Senior Citizen, ask them to define what that means? Is it an age and if so, what age would that be? Does one look a certain way to be declared a Senior Citizen or is it the gray hair? Please, tell me the definition so I am absolutely clear on this term?


It’s a blast to watch some make up some lame answer such as, “oh, it’s an age, you gotta be 50 and older.” And you’re gonna take my word for it or do I need to show you some proof? “Oh no, I’ll take your word for it, Senior Citizens don’t lie!”

The best response came from this gal who said; “I have no idea and I’m not gonna go there, it’s simple, tell me you are a Senior Citizen and your drink is free.” But sweetie, my drink comes with this combo meal anyway, so what in hell does free mean?

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says.....

OH SHIT, SHE'S AWAKE!