Chew Gum

SLU prof says chew gum before big test and it could help
Wednesday, November 30, 2011 - 5:11 pm

CANTON -- Research by a St. Lawrence University psychology professor suggests that if you’re a student and have an important test coming up, you might do better if you chew some gum.

St. Lawrence University Assistant Professor of Psychology Serge Onyper conducted a study that showed that students who chewed gum for five minutes before taking a test did better on the test than non-gum-chewing students. “Mastication-induced arousal” is credited for the boost, which lasted for about the first 20 minutes or so of testing. Results of the study were published in the journal Appetite.

A “battery of cognitive tasks” was given to the study participants, who chewed gum either prior to or throughout testing. Their performance was then compared with subjects who did not chew gum.

Many studies have shown that any type of physical activity can produce a performance boost. This study points indicates that even mild physical activity might bring on such a boost.

Chewing gum seems to have given the subjects multiple advantages, but only when chewed for five minutes before testing, not for the duration of the test. Benefits persisted for the first 15 to 20 minutes of testing only. Onyper notes that a possible reason the benefits didn’t continue throughout testing may be due to “a sharing of resources by cognitive and masticatory processes.”

In other words, you can’t chew gum and think productively at the same time.

Onyper was the lead researcher on a study presented earlier this year showing that students who took classes starting earlier in the morning tended to get higher grades, even though they may have gotten less sleep.

So now you know what to pack when your kid has an exam! As a former teacher, I outlawed gum in my classroom -- I detested the gum--smacking chewing performance of those who found making loud noises so attractive!!!  But this was a 100 years ago, who knows what happens now!!!

Well, I have tried the molded cookie sheets and to date, have not found recipe that works in them, someone suggested cake batter and all I could think was; "that's gonna be small pieces of cake."  So now I'm thinking they might be candy molds?  Whatever,this is one challenge I can't beat so forget..those pans will be in the yard sale next spring for damn sure.

Hubby nicely shared his cold with me, now I have the sucker and last night I took some NyQuil early and man, that stuff kicked in fast and I was struggling to stay awake.  Clint was over here with us, helping Papa set up the train under the Christmas tree and the train just doesn't go fast enough for him, he wants to push it around the track.  It's battery operated and cute as hell but again, not speedy enough for him.

Oh hell no, no tree up or inside decorations out, outside lights are done but inside haven't even started on them.  I will get to them but so far I've been busy with other stuff. We just use a fiber optic tree these days, it works and we like it so that is that but I do have various holiday items around the house to make it look like Christmas.

My friend pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told me
"That's us in 10 years".

I said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!

Mirror or 2-way Glass???

How can you tell when you are in a room, restroom, motel etc. with a mirror or a 2-way glass?

Here's how: I thought it was quite interesting! And I know in about 30 seconds you're going to do what I did and find the nearest mirror.


Do you know how to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not? A policewoman who travels all over the US and gives seminars and techniques for businesswomen passed this on.


When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them)? There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms . It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by looking at it.
So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is GENUINE mirror.


However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE! IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR!


"No Space, Leave the Place" So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.


REMEMBER. No Space, Leave the Place:


Ladies: Share this with your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, etc.
Men: Share this with your wives, daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers, girlfriends and/or friends.

Pentatomoidea

Oh my, I really got your attention now or did I???  Here it is in lingo we all can understand (I hope):

They are commonly referred to as shield bugs, chust bugs, and stink bugs. Shield bugs have glands in their thorax between the first and second pair of legs which produce a foul smelling liquid. This liquid is used defensively to deter potential predators and is sometimes released when the bugs are handled carelessly.

During warm months, female stink bugs attach large masses of eggs to the underside of leaves and stems. After hatching, the wingless nymphs go through five immature stages before becoming full-sized, winged adults. Stink bugs are not known to bite humans but caution should be used when handling them to avoid a release of their odor.


These insects are not known to cause harm to humans, although homeowners become alarmed when the bugs enter their homes and noisily fly about. The stink bug will not reproduce inside structures or cause damages. If many of them are squashed or pulled into a vacuum cleaner, their smell can be quite apparent.  Here's a couple photos...ya, yuck!!!




Brown stink bug



Yellow stink bug

Okay, big deal, eh? Well, supposedly the stink bug is invading more than the damn bed bugs which have made national news around the world lately.  I mean, some folks are afraid to go to hotels for fear they'll be swarmed by bed bugs. Oh if you do, bring a plastic bag for your suitcase -- huh? 

Bed bugs can be described as the warm blood suckers.Bed bugs respond to the warmth and carbon dioxide of a host and quickly locate a suitable feeding site. They tend not to live with human beings and theirs coming into contact with human beings is for sucking only their blood as meal. Most blood feeding occurs during the night hours and they generally seek to remain idle during the day for digesting the blood meal.

Being flattened by their body they get sneaked very easily into the cracks and crevices of frame of bed, wooden furniture, carpets and filthy bed sheets. It is presumed that they get produced in hot moisturized climate and reside in wooden articles. Living in the bed and all those articles which are used by the people, they have been named bed bugs. They get activated during the mid night hours. Although the bed bugs resemble like cockroaches, they differ by their size and wing. Bed bugs do not happen to have wing like the cockroaches have, but they run so fast that they can't be caught easily by the person getting victimized of their bite. You can check pictures of bed bugs too on our site and then you can imagine how they actually look like.




Bed bug



There has not been proved so far that they cause any contagious disease, but what they actually cause following their bites has been established as the hepatitis B depending upon the vulnerability of the victim of their bite.  Notice how tiny these suckers are, no wonder you have trouble spotting them.  I can say this much, we just spent six weeks traveling and staying in hotels in NJ and not one bed bug!!!

So now you are educated on the bed and stink bugs, aren't you just thrilled?

**********************

On a more amusing front, I am once again preparing for the cooler months and that means, getting bird seed and feeders to attract and keep the feather beauties stopping by all damn winter. So far the chick-a--Dee's seem to find this a great place to dine.  I am sure if the Blue Jay is around, he too shall dine here as well.  However, the damn crows, cackles or black birds can stay the hell away -- they are almost as big as the wild turkeys and don't need any more food!  Too bad the suckers are on the protective specie list -- I'd like to shot the suckers, nasty and real pests in my book.  And yes, there are some evenings when this rather big animal shows up and I believe its called a DEER!!!

Again, a lovely Fall day and the temp is in the 60s, I am wearing shorts and life is good.  Sunny and nice, and if you haven't done so, get outside and enjoy that fresh air -- ye gads, soon you'll be bitching about it being too cold!!

Where did Piss Poor come from?

Interesting History



They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor" But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.



The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:



- Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell. ..... .Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting Married.


- Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"


- Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."


- There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.


- The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)


- In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas’ porridge cold, and pea’s porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.


- Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.


- Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.


- Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.


- England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.


- And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring!!!

%$^&%%^&

Yes I am finally home after six weeks of traveling, mostly in New Jersey.  It has been quite an expereince and had its various challenges. Once I am fully caught up and rested, I shall regale you with the last week and in particular the last day...now that was a bitch flat tire, hotel key access denied, weather changes and so on..oh its a lovely story, be sure to come back and read it. But for now, enjoy your weekend, I plan too.

Those Purple Boxes

Here we go again, for those who haven't heard, read or are aware what those purple boxes along our roadside are designed to do:

Hundreds of the rectangular, three-sided traps were placed in ash trees in right-of-ways countywide in June. It is part of a national program targeting the invasive, tree-killing insect called emerald ash borer.



“The purpose of the traps is early detection,” said Jim Ochterski, extension agriculture and natural resources leader. “We want to know where the bug is and slow the spread of it.”


The tiny green insect has killed more than 50 million ash trees since 2002, when it was introduced to this continent from East Asia. It kills all species of ash trees native to North America, threatening the state’s 900 million ash trees. Ash trees make up 10 percent of all hardwood trees statewide, with the dollar value of ash trees on both private and public forestlands running about $1.2 billion, according to the state Department of Environmental Conservation.


The insect spreads by hiding its larvae in wood, so the best way to fight the spread of the bug is by buying and burning firewood close to its source. Current firewood regulations are aimed at preventing the spread of emerald ash borer, with it illegal to move firewood more than 50 miles from its source.


As for the traps — don’t touch, said Ochterski. As for ash trees, there is no reason to cut down healthy ones, he said. But if you are planting new trees, you might want to pick some other kind.

So tell me, how ya liking this heat? What?  Hey, wait just a minute, just a few days ago you were yelling about all the rain and damp weather, so the sun shines and it gets warm, even humid and now you're griping about the heat -- never happy are you!

How about these guys -- someone said there were nude bathers, this is what we get!!!

So if you do head to the beach or are outside, please use some sunblock...skin cancer is not pretty and a sunburn is no fun -- protect your children too...have fun and enjoy the day.

GED

The following questions were from last year's GED examination - These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons


A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink


A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed


A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans


A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on


A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections


A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids


A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age


A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty


A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes


A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination


A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour


A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)


A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?


A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?


A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control


A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'


A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?


A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness


A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?


A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning


A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?


A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A.  Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

The English Language

How does anyone ever learn English? Do you think it is easy? Let's take a look.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .


3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.


4) The maid must polish the Polish furniture.


5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.


6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.


7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present ..


8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.


9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.


12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .


13) They were too close to the door to close it.


14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.


15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.


17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.


18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.


19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.


20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat ? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?


How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.


English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .


There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'


It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?


At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?


Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?


We call UP our friends.


And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.


We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.


At other times the little word has real special meaning.


People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.


To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.


A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP..


We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.


We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !


To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.


In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.


If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.


It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.


When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .


When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...


When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.


When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.


One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!


Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.

Curling

Okay, don't know much about this sport, eh? Neither did I, so I did a little research and, hell yes, I'm gonna share the info with you...ready?

The sport of curling dates back to the early 1500s in Scotland and was reportedly brought to North America by British troops in the 1700s during the Revolutionary War.

Curling made its Olympic debut at the Winter Olympic Games in 1924. It came back in the 1932 Lake Placid Games as a demonstration sport, but then went on a 56-year Olympic hiatus, returning again as a demonstration sport at the 1988 and 1992 Games. Since the 1998 Nagano Games, curling has been contested as an official medal sport for both men and women .

As far as the actual game goes, think shuffleboard on ice combined with the strategy of a game of bowls or bocce.

Each match is made up of ends, or periods, where two teams of four players each take turns sliding 42-pound polished granite stones down a sheet of ice towards a bullseye made up of four concentric circles. This bullseye, which is 12 ft in diameter, is known as the "house" and its center the "tee." The tee is located 126 ft from where the shooter starts.
When the stone is released by the shooter, it is done with a special technique that involves a twist of the wrist. Like a bowling ball hooks (or curves) down an alley, so too does the stone as it glides down the ice. This curve is known as the "curl."

As the stone curls towards its intended target (perhaps the tee, or perhaps an opponent's stone that is in the way) the other three team members sweep the ice with brooms, causing the stone to speed up or change directions. The "skip" is the captain of the team and usually shouts out sweeping instructions.

Each team member shoots twice, so there are 16 shots in each end. A team scores points when its stones are closest to the tee after all 16 shots. Each match consists of 10 ends.
In 2006, the Canadian men and Sweden's women were gold medalists. The World Curling Federation's 2008-2009 rankings show Canada in the top spot for both men and women, with the U.S. coming in at number 4 for men, and number 6 for women.

After Salt Lake City, curling showed a surge in popularity both in the U.S. and abroad. In the U.S. new clubs formed in places as unlikely as Texas, Arizona, and Tennessee. The U.S. Curling Association membership grew by about 15%.

A sure sign of success, the sport has its ownrisqué calendar sponsored by the European Curling Federation. 2010's Fire on Ice" features 26 women curlers posing in the buff or scantily clad.

Thar, now you know all about this sport and lemme tell ya, thinking of curling as shuffleboard on ice helped me a great deal!

Yes, it is Ash Wednesday and many will make "lent" wishes that will last maybe until tomorrow or in some cases, until Easter which is what is suppose to happen. However, you don't have to "give up" something, you could "do something," for the next 40 days too you know.

As for me, I'm gonna try to limit my sweet tooth -- I can have sweets only once a day -- either at lunch or dinner, but not both and sweets includes those approved by the Weight Watcher program. I'm a gal who likes her dessert so this is gonna be a tad challenging. However, nothing says I can't have a piece of fruit, right?

Snowing as I write this, supposedly we'll see 2 to 3 inches -- nothing to write home about, at least not yet. Have a grand day and for crying out loud, keep smiling!!!

Life, Education and Everything In-between

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.

He talks about how feel-good,politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.

If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

If you can read this in English - Thank a soldier!!!

Don't Reuse Bacon Grease

I NEVER REALIZED THE DANGER OF REUSING BACON GREASE......
UNTIL NOW.

HOPE I AM NOT TOO LATE IN GETTING THIS INFO TO SOME OF YOU !!

We were raised on bacon grease as kids and even into adulthood. I will never use it again.

I just threw out my last 2 lbs of bacon grease!!

I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on.

It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.

This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease.

It could happen to you...

This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about.

The Hormone Guide

Before I get to this guide, Happy First Day of Autumn. In case you didn't know this, today is the first day we have rain for this month -- can you believe it? After all the rain, to think we made it to the 22nd of a month with no rain is just unbelievable. Ya, I know, we needed it too -- ain't that amazing! Now on to the hormone guide...always something to assist you, eh?

Women will understand this! Men should definitely memorize it! Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

What's for dinner? DANGEROUS
Can I help you with dinner? SAFER
Where would you like to go for dinner? SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.

Are you wearing that? DANGEROUS
You sure look good in brown! SAFER
WOW! Look at you! SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE

What are you so worked up about? DANGEROUS
Could we be overreacting? SAFER
Here's my paycheck. SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.

Should you be eating that? DANGEROUS
You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFER
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.

What did you DO all day? DANGEROUS
I hope you didn't over-do it today. SAFER
I've always loved you in that robe! SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. 12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh...and men who need a warning. Oh, and have some wine.

Time to Learn -- Ready?

Vincent Van Gogh's Family Tree.

Come on you needed some “history,” or education in your life and this is one easy way to get it and guess what its FUN too!


· His dizzy aunt – Verti Gogh
· The brother who ate prunes--- Gotta Gogh
· The brother who worked at a convenience store --- Stop N Gogh
· The grandfather from Yugoslavia --- U Gogh
· His magician uncle ---Where-diddy Gogh
· His Mexican cousin ---A Mee Gogh
· The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ---Gring Gogh
· The nephew who drove a stage coach ---Wells-far Gogh
· The constipated uncle --- Can't Gogh
· The ballroom dancing aunt ---Tang Gogh
· Bird lover uncle ---Flamin Gogh
· The fruit-loving cousin --- Man Gogh
· An aunt who taught positive thinking ---Way-to-Gogh
· The little bouncy nephew ---Poe Gogh
· A sister who loved disco --- Go Gogh
· And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling. -------Thar ya Gogh!

Did You Know...

Cats have over 100 vocal sounds, while dogs only have about 10.

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

12 or more cows are know as a flink.

A group of frogs is called an army.

A group of rhinos is called a crash.

A group of kangaroos is called a mob.

A group of officers is called a mess.

A group of larks is called an exaltation.

A group of owls is called a parliament.

The word "checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat" which means, "the kind is dead".

See you learned something today after all -- aren't you just proud of yourself tho!

&&&&&&

Ah Monday, what a wonderful, sunny day -- whoops, I see dark clouds forming -- what the hell, we had rain yesterday, today is to be dry, right?

Hey, I know you know the St. Lawrence County Fair begins this week, starting tomorrow the rides will be open at 5 pm. but before that there's plenty of things to see and do, including the 4-H Horse Show. And by all means, stroll through the Youth Building and be amazed at what these industrious young people have learned and done throughout the year -- I'm telling ya, you will be amazed. So get off your lazy butts and go to the Fair -- have some adult memories to go with those childhood days at the fair -- each memory is a treasure.

Bounce this Along

The US Postal service sent out a message to all Letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away.Use them all the time when playing baseball and Soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The Insects just veer around you. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer!

• It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.
  
• Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.
  
• It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.
  
• It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.
  
• Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.
  
• Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust From resettling.
  
• Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
  
• To freshen the air in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
  
• Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.
  
• Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
  
• Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.
  
• To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
  
• Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.
  
• Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.
  
• Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the lose hairs.
  
• Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
  
• Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
  
• Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
  
• Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.
  
• Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.
  
• Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.
  
• Wet a Bounce sheet, hose down your car, and wipe love bugs off easily with the wet Bounce.
• 
  

If I have posted this before, just ignore it -- if not, read and enjoy it -- come on, its Tuesday, the last day of June 2009 --tomorrow we shall embrace July -- aren't you excited? Hey, watch your mouth -- ye gads!

Hooray for Vodka

Every now and then, someone sends me truly useful information (thanks Jude) and being a good ole soul, I like to pass it along.

So now you can read about the various things good about vodka in case you did not know -- enjoy:

• To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive.
• To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
• To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
• Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
• Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
• Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
• Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair....
• Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
• Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
• Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
• To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
• To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
• Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
• Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
• Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain

And silly me! I've only been drinking it!

5 Fruits

This will tell you something about yourself.......

The 5 Fruits - Which would you pick?


THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE...

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They are:

A. Apple

B. Banana

C. Strawberry

D. Peach

E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose?

Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN;












If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples

B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries

D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches

E. Orange : That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

Also I bet that right now you would like to find Me and Kick my ASS!

Well, You won't find me...because I am still hunting down The ASS Who sent this to me...

Have a Purrrr-fect Day!

AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO SEND THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE!

FLAT STANLEY

I did not realize this until later but whatever, my niece had called me weeks ago to ask if I would participate in some 3rd grade class project and I said, sure, sounds like fun.

The class is involved in a very fun and exciting Geography project based on the book “Flat Stanley” written by Jeff Brown. Through this experience students are hoping to learn about the different regions of New York State. In the book Flat Stanley is flattened by a falling bulletin board. One of the many advantages is that Flat Stanley can now visit his friends by traveling in an envelope.

So Stanley arrived in the mail on Saturday and I get to treat like a guest for 2-7 days. Take him places and record each of his adventures in his daily journal. There’s even a map so I can color where Stanley visited, which is cool (haven’t colored in years – love being a kid).

Now they even sent a disposal camera (return it and they’ll process the film) however I found my digital camera and email worked great and the teacher was able to download my letter(s) from Stanley and photos for the students. I even took photos of Stanley so they could see him too.

What was interesting was while at Curves this morning, I mentioned this project and within seconds other gals were saying they too had a Stanley sent to them and they loved the project too. Then we learned that Stanley has been all over the place, not just in New York State but other states as well. This is truly an amazing project and so much fun.

Sadly I have to mail him back at the end of the week but trust me, Stanley has had some fun adventures. I don’t think all of them should be shared with 3rd graders though – I mean, what would they think if they learned Stanley drank beer, ate fatty foods, etc.? Ya, see they don’t need to know this stuff and after learning he was underage, the booze was off limits (should of checked earlier, right).

Oh I’m really into this Wii Fit program too. Got my daughter doing it and while she is (1) younger, (2) more flexible, and (3) younger she was able to do many of the exercises much easier than me. However I am proud to announce that as of today my fitness age was 41 – now that is damn impressive!!! And I am losing weight at a very acceptable rate too…that definitely made me feel better. Oh this is a hoot and if you don’t rush it or get upset, you can enjoy these workouts.

I finally learned how to make the damn ski jump work too – had to lift my freakin feet –imagine. I thought I just had to extend my legs and fly thru the air – hell, my flying was down the bloody hill. Lift the legs and steady yourself and now you float down the ski jump and get a decent score. Hey, it’s all in fun and great exercise. So, I plan to do it everyday except Sunday (got chastised because I didn’t workout Sunday but hey, a gals gotta have a day of rest, right?).

Hey, the sun is shining, a tad chilly outside – earlier the temp was 34 degrees and currently it’s 53 and climbing. And yes, Damnit, I too had to turn the heat on yesterday –that damp chill was just too much and I was sick of being cold!

Keep smiling and have a great day!

PRE-SCHOOL TEST

I already knew I was dumber than the fifth graders, now it's the preschoolers turn!!??

Which way is the bus below traveling?


To the left or to the right?

Can't make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don't know?

Pre-schoolers all over the United States were shown this picture asked the same question. 90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer.

"The bus is traveling to the left.'

When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?'

They answered: 'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'

How do you feel now???

I know me too.

That's enough testing for a Friday -- on the weather front, we can expect a light dusting today (she wants dust, come to my house, I'm sure I can find places where dust hides) but the wind chill is currently a lovely minus 7 degrees -yikes!

Look who came back for more goodies, this bugger is starting to annoy me and he's going DOWN!

Ya, he looks worried, just munches away and could care less -- well,soon he's gonna discover his carefree days are OVER!

SAD

This is not what you think – nope, SAD is “seasonal affective disorder.” Aren’t you just amazed and thrilled to know this?

Okay, what is SAD? Believe it or not it is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter but feel much better in spring and summer, you may have SAD.

Oh ya, anyone can get SAD, but its more common in:

• People who live in areas where winter days are very short or there are big changes in the amount of daylight in different seasons.[does this mean Alaska? Who pays for this research?]
• People between the ages of 15 and 55. The risk of getting SAD for the first time goes down as you age.[finally something good about aging!]
• People who have a close relative with SAD [screw'em they ain't related anymore, right?]

What causes SAD? Hey, even the experts are not sure what causes SAD, but they think it may be caused by a lack of sunlight. Lack of light upset your sleep-wake cycle and other circadian rhythms. And it may cause problems with a brain chemical called serotonin that affects mood.

Symptoms? Oh you’re gonna like these:

• Feel sad, grumpy, moody or anxious
• Lose interest in your usual activities
• Eat more and crave carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta.
• Gain weight
• Sleep more and feel drowsy during the daytime.

Does this sound like something we call CABIN FEVER to anyone but me? Ya, and I don't recall any studies to end up with this phrase either but after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars we now got SAD! What is friggin "sad" is this research!

So what is the cure? Wait for April and it should pass. Go outside and stand in the sunshine, if you can find some sunshine. Buy Vitamin D and take it -- then, you'll "feel"like you got sunshine. Oh shit, just get outside and stop feeling sorry for yourself -- ye gads!

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. Now that is SAD.

The History of APRONS

Sorry I could not resist -- this photo just cracks me up - whoops, that might not be the best adjective -- and if you seen the snow angel, just smile and keep moving.

Now on to the history of Aprons.

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, because she only had a few, it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty Ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be along time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

Send this to those who would know, and love, the story about Grandma's aprons. Or it can be a good history lessons for those that have no Idea how the apron played a part in our lives.

REMEMBER:

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron.