Idiot Sightings

Please be Careful Out There!

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.' We haven’t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, ’its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and they VOTE and they REPRODUCE

Onions vs. Flu

Now here's one .......An ole remedy ???

Very interesting and worth trying. Flu In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and many died.

The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then).

The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope.. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ. She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work.. (And no, she is not in the onion business.)

The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home. If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere.

Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu. If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case..

Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outdoor Potties

Do you remember my story of the long walk around Lake Shore Drive and the bladder issue? Ya, where I squatted and was doing my business and looked up and was "eye-ball-to-eye-ball" with a deer. Well, this photo takes that squatting one step further. What cracks me up is she has toilet paper --who in hell carries TP on a walk?

Hey, 28 degrees this morning,now we are talking some serious cold weather -- holy sheet! Even I knew enough to put on a coat this morning and the idea that a sweatshirt over a shirt would suffice was no longer a viable option.

So it is Friday and for most, the Friday dance began early this morning...for us retired folks,we dance every morning, right? Well, after we sleep in and then, get up, have coffee and stretch, then we do something called a dance (I call it movement).

Still not sure when I head out to Minnesota but suspect it will be some day next week -- but have no fear, they have computers and I can get on line and keep posting stuff on this blog page...

Okay, you all have a great day and hey, do something nice for someone today -- oh hell, try letting a car in front of you, allow people to cross the street, slow down and keep within the speed limits, or just hold a door open, you know, do something for someone else -- it makes ya feel so much better.

Keep smiling

Love Dress

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.'What are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained..

'Love dress? But you're naked!

''Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.'What are you doing?' he asked...

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?

Brisk Out There

Yes, our weather has definitely made a slight turn toward cold and that wind will let you know, in a heartbeat, you need a freaking coat! The no-coat or sweatshirt days are over!





So, what's happening around and about? Do we really want to know? Hey, Maria Osmond is now 50 -- big deal. And I'm getting a tad weary of Jon and Kate -- ye gads.




I found an ole paper that listed things like "How You Can Tell When It's Going to Be a Rotten Day," which I thought I would share with you:

• You wake up face down on the pavement.



• You put your bra on backward and it fits better.



• You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.



• Your Twin sister forgot your birthday.



• You put both contact lenses in the same eye *(ouch).



• Your income tax check bounces


• Your pet rock snaps at you (mind did and I tossed that sucker as far as I could)

Well, that's it for me on this lovely Tuesday. I may be heading out to Minnesota next week -- my son has been accepted in a clinical trial, at the Mayo Clinic -- however, my role is extremely pleasant, take care of the grand kids -- ya, that's a hard role. Whether needed or not, I would love to go visit and spend a little time with all of them before the cold weather months keep me strictly in this neck of the woods.

And regardless of what anyone else likes or dislikes, I happen to enjoy the winter months too. I love to snow shoe and just be outside in that crisp, fresh winter air. Ya, I know I am nuts -- I did not say I like being cold, I said I liked being out in the fresh air and dressed properly this is great.

I'm doing good with my weight loss program too...dropping a pound and gaining a pound, is that called maintenance or what? Screw it, I am mobile and losing inches, which means I am toning up and once these muscles get done, then the pound shall disappeared (or so they tell me). Bathroom scales lie so I don't give them much notice but when pant sizes drop, that I can believe...hurrah! Of course, one size in one store is not the same size in another store. I want to know who in hell is sizing women's clothes these days -- they are doing a lousy job!!!

Take care, keep smiling and more another day...

Avoid the Flu

Please do not forget your flu shot!!!! The First Half of this makes sense, but I like the second half better!!!!

Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.

Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air.

Open doors & windows whenever possible.

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol...Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.

So.......I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona ...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)

The way I see it... If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!

My mother always said, A shot in the arm is better than a shot in the ass.

Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much

Rose and Barb

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.' Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?', asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'


Life is uncertain - eat dessert first.

Adam

God said, 'Adam, I want you to do something for me.'

Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?'

God said, 'Go down into that valley.'

Adam said, 'What's a valley?'

God explained it to him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.'
Adam said, 'What's a river?'God explained that to him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill....'

Adam said, 'What is a hill?'

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.He told Adam, 'On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.'

Adam said, 'What's a cave?'After God explained, he said, 'In the cave you will find a woman.'

Adam said, 'What's a woman?'So God explained that to him, too.Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce.'

Adam said, 'How do I do that?'

God first said (under his breath), 'Geez.....'And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill,into the cave, and finds the woman..

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, 'What is it now?'

And Adam said....

**(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!)*****

'What's a headache?'

Lovely Day

Yup, here we are, Tuesday and I'm looking out the window and thinking; "where in hell is the sunshine?" Did I read the paper wrong and has my hearing gone too because I understood today was suppose to be partly sunny and we'd reach temps in the high 50's! Well, baby if that is true, we got some work ahead of us and hey, Mama Nature get your butt in high gear.

Gotta tell ya, once I found that box with slides and what have you, began scanning them and enjoyed this trek down memory lane, I took time yesterday to dig out my ole slides and photos. Now I am ass-deep in pictures and struggling to slow down and enjoy the process. I just want to get them all scanned and on my computer and then on a disk...but this is not going to be a fast effort, this is gonna take time.

Also I am struggling with how to sort them once into a computer folder. I mean, each folder could and probably should be broken down; like sibling name and underneath that a sub-folder tagged kids. Are you following me? Sure as hell would be easier to find everyone, eh?

With any luck I will get outside today and plant tulip bulbs and other plants, as well as clean up the yard....I will mow one more time if that is doable too. You all have a lovely day...

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people -- which "mind" are you?

Senior Special

If you are a senior (over 55) you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet........God willing, someday you will be......

The $2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!!' stated the waitress. 'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked. 'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! WE'VE been around the block more than once!

It is what it is the Weather

Yes, the rain continues to bless us with its constant showers. That would be fine but the dampness and lower temps provides a chill that sinks right into my bones and wham, that stuff aches and makes me realize; "time to turn the heat on." Damn!

Two days ago I was in the garage looking for something and there's this one box that I constantly move, shove or set aside thinking its stuff my husband put out there and one day will do something with it. But for some reason I decided to look in this box -- WOW!

It contain slides, some in slide trays but mostly loose and they were slides my mother had for years. In some cases I never saw some of them, in other cases, it has been many, many years. So I begin scanning these slides, enjoying them and realized two things: (1) I really needed to sort them and place them in some organized folder, like by sibling name and (2) the slides needed to be cleaned -- what a miserable task but necessary.

Now I am anxious to get into my storage shed and haul in the many boxes of slides I have kept for years and view them too. Not just view but scan and eventually put on a CD disk -- or make a cute DVD movie for my kids. It shall be my winter project -- how fun is this gonna be? Tell ya what, after seeing photos of me when I was a young woman, I have to admit, I wasn't as unattractive as I thought. Oh come on, we all felt like this when we were kids,unless you were a practicing Diva!!!

So it is Sunday and with any luck there will be decent football games and you know what the means, my butt is glued to the TV set -- I do like my football games. Not sure which I enjoy more tennis or football --- oh wait, tennis is first -- that is my all time fave sport. Why? Well, I use to play tennis (still do if I can find someone to play with me) and I never did play football.

You all have a wonderful day and keep smiling, ya hear?

Love making tips for Seniors

If I have posted this before, then don't read it again, unless you think you should!


1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Brandy ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

(I sent this in large type so you can read it)

Spanish Words of the Day

Here's your chance to learn another lingo and its free!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY:JULY Ju tol me ju were goin to the store and July to me! Julyer!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM Yo, when all my familia gets in the car, theres not mushroom.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN My girlfriend wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by herself.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE Some guy tried to sweet talk my woman. I told him, yo loco, liver alone, cheese mine.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WAFER I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market pero she didn't wafer me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HERPES I had some cake to share with my wife, this is my piece this is herpes

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: TISSUE I told you if you didn't know how to do it, I could tissue.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HARASSMENT My old lady caught me in bed wit my lover so I said harassment nothing to me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CASHEW I was running after you but I couldn't cashew!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BISHOP We went out to the club y mi vieja got drunk and fell down, so I had to pick the bishop.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JUICY Hey man, I'm looking for Paco, tell me if juicy him!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My wife gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF My homie farted so bad, and I couldn't brief.

Cops - Ya Gotta Love'em

Lawyer Vs Police

Only in Texas my friends...Only in Texas ....Too bad...

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston, TX. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy repeats.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

God Bless Texas

Hello October

Sweet Mama, this is one hell of a way to start October -- 39 degrees and chilly!

When you find it necessary to wear a coat, then you know the colder weather has definitely arrived. Unfortunately, when this happens brain cells die too. This is the time of year more and more fools decide throwing trash out of car windows is acceptable and what, the white stuff will cover it and make it go away too? Idiots!

Today was the annual (I am guessing this is annual thing, what in hell do I know) blood work for the VA Clinic. Not only did they want blood but a urine sample too. This is one time I wish I was a man because, trust me, aiming for that little container is not easy and any woman who says she does not hit her hand, is lying!

Ya, and next week I shall get the results and no I am not worried--I consider myself to be quite healthy thank you very much and while I have a few aches and pains, I take that as part of being an adult and aging nicely.

I will admit that I am not all that familiar with the Massena Hospital and I swear everyone was scheduled for blood work this morning but hey, they had us in and out of there in quick order -- good show! And guess what, I heard no cries from anyone -- amazing!

Then as I had to "fast"for this number I came home and ate -- damn I was hungry. Was gonna go for a walk but its raining and well, forget it. I will depart again to check on the granddog (aka let him out to whiz) but for the most part, I think I'll just do inside chores. What in hell does that mean?

That means take the summer clothes and switch them for the winter clothes and now the closet is ready for your winter attire and the summer stuff is getting a well deserved rest. Or crank up the heat and never leave your home but enjoy the summer attire all through the winter months. What the hell, it's your choice!

Happiness isn't something you experience; its something you remember!

Proof Reading, An Art?

Proofreading is a dying art, would you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really? Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
-------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
----------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? Oklahoma's new construction program!
-------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
-----------------------------

Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
----------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
----------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
******************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*********************
And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

Bees

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank.

After a few minutes, the bees flew out.'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?The bee answered,

You're just gonna love this..

BP (AKA Bee Pee)

Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you"!

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

*********

Okay, I admit it, I still dislike bathroom scales, they do lie and while I don't wish to obsess about weight, after seeing some recent photos, I now, more than ever, am determined to drop the pounds. I mean, I dropped inches and a pants size but no actual weight, which means my muscles are moving but the pounds are staying (or something like that). So, my objective is to lose actual pounds and that means, no more screwing around with the weight watcher points. I mean, write things down, stay within your daily allotment and don't even add in the activity points unless you absolutely have to do this (like you're going out to dinner or downing a few cold ones).

Yes, I intend to continue my exercise/workout routines,those have become a habit I don't wish to break but I need to cut out the sweet snacks and stay within my daily points. Oh this can be done, its just adopting a positive attitude and a freakin determination-- I can do this.

Cleaning Poem

My sister sent me this -- is she trying to tell me something? Well, you read it and laugh, I'm headed to Curves and as the wet, damp weather continues, I reckon planting bulbs or having one more go at the lawn is out for today. Guess that means I should consider some inside chores, ya think?

Wait! I have that lovely "pack and play" thing that I could put together -- that outta frustrate the hell outta me and who knows, with any luck I won't need more beer and the play-pen will be up and ready for my grandson who is due to arrive in December. Ya, what's the hurry!!!

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.

And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick....
I was just admiring my good work.

I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops -
I foundA real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it -
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess......
While I sit here on my hiney.

Penguins

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Then they kick him in the ice hole."

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?