Sharpest knife in the drawer

Gents Clothing at Bargain Prices

Bubba and Billy Joe are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign in a store window which reads, "Suits $5.00, shirts $1.69, trousers $2.50 a pair."

Bubba says "Billy Joe, Look here at them prices! We could buy a whole gob of these, take'em back to Arkansas, and sell 'em right offa the backa the truck. We could make a fortune.. But let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're just ignorant hillbillys and not wanna sell that stuff to us.. So I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from the Ozarks."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgian drawl, "Afternoon, Sir, I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $1.69, and 50 pairs of them trousers at $2.50. I'll just pull my pickup around back.."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from Arkansas, ain't ya, son?"

"Well, yeah," says a surprised Bubba."How come you knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry-cleaners."


Leave a Specimen

A hillbilly woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asks her husband, "What is a specimen?"

He replies, "Damned if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse."

The woman goes next door and comes back ten minutes later with her clothes torn to shreds. She is cut and bruised all over.

"What in the hell happened?" asked her husband.

"Damn if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle. So I told her to go shit in her hat, and then all hell broke loose."


Anesthetic

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.

Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"

The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."

"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."


Cancer Lawsuit

Somewhere in the Deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, that is true."

Bubba asked, "And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true, mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"

"Cause I was thinkin' maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been wakin' up with"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a side note I see Caroline Kennedy has withdrawn from her quest to take Hillary's Senate seat. Well, we never said she was stupid, a little confused for awhile and perhaps she herself began to realize, "this ain't gonna happen even tho my name is Kennedy." Even she understood she lacked experience and hey, give her some credit, her priority is and always has been family and her reasons for withdrawing our, you guessed it - "personally."

Well, our "alleged" -10 degree weather last night did not happen, oh we got some snow but the temp, is a lovely 26 degrees. That means I can go out and snowshoe without worrying about freezing my fingers to the ski poles and yes, I fixed that pole that seemed to get shorter and shorter every lap I made around the house. So, you all have a good day, I may be back with more but for now, I plan to head outside and get my snowshoe workout...hurrah!
_