WINTER CLOTHING

Every season has it’s – what shall I call them – appearances, ya that’s a good term. Appearance takes on many forms but winter sees us dressing and walking differently and in some cases, we talk differently too.

Let’s start with our head. Now we got the ones who refuse to wear any head gear and complain about how cold their head is and how they can’t get rid of this damn cold! We got the folks who wear some really fugly head gear but hey, they are warm. What is amazing is nobody really cares what folks have on their head and even when yanked off, we all know hair ain’t gonna look pretty and sticking up or stuck to one’s head is fine.

Now move down to jackets and neck scarves. Now some think they can put a sweater (or two) on and a summer jacket and this is sufficient cold weather gear – lots of luck. Others are so “down” filled they look like stuffed Michelin dolls and waddle as they walk. You got the neck scarves that are practically covering the entire face, toss in the hat and upward collar and you’re damn lucky if you can see eyes, but hey they are warm so leave them alone! Personally I dislike a heavy winter coat, I mean I want to be warm but I don’t want to haul around extra weight – so a Columbia, North Face or Gear jacket is just fine (I usually take out the inner lining as this is too much heat for me – call me nuts but hey, I’m comfy and warm).

And what about the hand cover? Oh man, this is amazing. Some refuse to wear any gloves, macho types and they got cracked skin and cold hands that never seem to warm up and these folks either sit on their hands or have them wrapped around a hot drink cup. Other folks wear these gloves that look cute but provide absolutely no warmth whatsoever and they don them to scrap ice off their windshield. As they don’t last long, these are the clowns you see driving along with a tiny pin hole from which to drive – ya, these are my faves – idiots!

We also got the one’s who wear gloves that go half way up the arm and have what appears to be hundreds of straps to keep them secure. Watch these clowns try to free a hand to use their wallets – it’s truly a work of art! The best of course are the mitten group, now good mittens will keep your hands warm, grip the steering wheel and look damn fashionable too. Of course thinsulate gloves are also stylish and doable.

I shant’ go into pants – we got some who wear blue jeans, ski pants, snow pants and what ever and a few gals insist on wearing skirts, nylons and wonder why in hell they are cold! Nope, let’s move right on down to the foot wear – this where it really gets cute. And yes, no matter what you wear on your feet or your age, we all tend to shuffle along – that’s one thing winter weather does for us – give us all the same shuffle walking field. Not reserved just for old folks!

But the foot attire – holy cow dung, this is unreal. We got the tennis shoes that are worn year round and that includes in 3 feet of snow – nobody is gonna get them to wear stupid boots. Frozen toes and feet don’t mean squat, they love their tennis shoes. Then we got the heeled boots that women find attractive and damn awkward to walk in especially on ice – but hey, they look nice! We got what looks like “moon” boots so damn big and bulky it’s amazing anyone can walk in them but supposedly they keep your feet warm…just that you won’t move or stay outside long because you’ll be exhausted just walking in these suckers.

We got all kinds of boots and some require thermal socks but they keep the feet warm. My fave is the thinsulate boots which are light weight, relatively attractive and man do they keep your feet warm. Yes, they are a tad pricey but good winter boots is anything but cheap and as an adult, spend the money and you’ll wear these boots for many years.

Yes winter attire is amazing and I find it damn fun to witness and at times shake me head in wonder and other times, wish to hell I had something I see someone else wearing. Regardless, us North Country folks do know how to dress warm for the weather and we don’t really care if we look stylish or not, we only want to be warm and able to move about outside. And we do get outside, maybe not for long periods but cold weather does not keep us inside – we do go the stores, church, visiting and even out to eat.

Yes, it’s gonna get colder tonight and I doubt I’ll be snowshoeing tomorrow but hey, I’ll be outside a little bit only because I like to test myself and insure this truly is below zero weather. I lived in North Dakota years ago and one winter day, our temp was 60 below zero and we were colder than Alaska. I think even I decided to stay inside and not test that temp – that was really cold!

So dress warm, stoke those fires or put on more blankets 'cause it's suppose to get really, really cold tonight -- way below zero temps and we'll grin and bear it... next week we'll warm up and say, "aw, that wasn't so bad!"