Cold

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.


50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Upstate New York let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they can't start the snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying...'cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
New York public schools will open 2 hours late

Here We Go Again - Winter Advisory

After a short break, winter weather is returning to the North Country.



The National Weather Service in Burlington has issued a Winter Weather Advisory for St. Lawrence County from 10 a.m . Friday until 7 p.m. Saturday with accumulations of 4 to 8 inches of snow predicted. Light snow is expected to begin this morning and continue through Saturday evening.


Motorists are advised to be prepared for snow covered roads. With 5 to 10 m.p.h. winds expected, there is a possibility of blowing and drifting snow.

Don't ya just love how this weekend is taking shape? Wasn't it just a couple weekends back when the snow all melted, the temp was in the mid-50's and some were foolish enough to think, ah Spring is here!  Hello, its just January, we got a few more months of this cold stuff...get real people.

Gotta tell ya, I like winter, I mean, I like sledding, snowshoeing and even skiing (cross country still escapes me tho) and while ice skating has proven something ole age is not gonna let me do again, I did do this as a kid too.  But this winter, has just been strange and with the up and down temps, I swear I got the dampness in my shoulders and it just will not go away.  I cannot seem to get warm and yes, I am layering and doing all sorts of things to stay warm, but if I sit very long, the chill is back. Damn!!!

Anyway, what I am looking forward to is kayaking this summer.  I mean, an inflatable kayak for Christmas and I'm so anxious to try this sucker its unreal.  I know that we'll "dry run" this in my yard, inflating and deflating and once comfortable and confident, off to the river we'll do.  I imagine my daughter and I shall laugh our heads off and giggle like crazy figuring how to use these oars and what have you but I also know we will figure this out. And in due course, I will most likely be able to take this kayak out and launch it on my own...paddling along with no worries or cares -- oh man, I can hardly wait.  But wait I shall, after all...we must have our winter fun first, right?

Loved hiking back up the hill after a sled ride down.

So I have no idea what your weekend plans are but with this winter snow advisory, I would suggest you give yourself plenty of time to get places and hey, do is all a big favor and stop the tailgate number...leave some space between cars and remember, ice doesn't give a rip if you have 4-wheel drive, it still causes major slides!

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, YOU grow old because you stop laughing!

Aw Cold Weather

Okay, listen up, you live in a part of the country that truly does honor and has the four seasons. So what in hell is your problem? Winter is one of those seasons and it means, entails if you prefer, cold temps and the white stuff…hello, this has been this way for eons, so why the surprise? Oh ya, I get it, you’d like a white Christmas, that is so pretty but that’s it, once you get this white blanket, stop all ready and don’t drop anymore, right? And heaven forbid the temp fluctuates back and forth and never gets higher than say 50 degrees! And what about no sunshine, are we intended to be mole people for three months?

Hey, I hear ya and like you, I too have my bitching issues. First foremost is the fact that while I like winter and playing in the snow is fun, hey, snowshoeing is great fun as is skiing and sledding ain’t so bad either. As for ice skating, forget that, did it as a kid but the ankles no longer cooperate or maybe it’s my balance has shifted too much! No, what irks me is the cracks in my fingers from the damn cold air. Okay, okay, I should have donned mittens earlier but I’m nervous driving with gloves on – they don’t always gripe the wheel like I feel is safe…hey, good excuse as any and besides, once the car warms up, who wants mittens! So I find myself applying lots of lotion and hey, when the cracks become really irritating I’ve been known to apply “New Skin” and a band-aid – it works. I would not suggest doing this for chapped lips however!!

What’s fun is the snow plows. I mean, come on, they must sit and wait and once you have shoveled or plowed your driveway, they arrive to fill in the end for you. It’s a test in patience. And if you think they should lift the blade for each driveway, get real – if the did that, it would take forever to do just one flippin street! And then, we have those days when there’s less than half an inch of white stuff and the plows are running all over the place…well, folks, they might not be plowing but they are spreading salt or sand on the roads to help us drive a bit safer. Of course on really cold days, salt does not melt ice!

Every watch folks clearing their driveways and sidewalks (make that walk ways as side walks are plowed by the village)? You got the truck plowers who just give a casual glance as they back up to get a good start to push the snow to the side of the driveway. Be careful of them, like I said, they give a quick glance and just go for it. How about the 4-wheeler snow plowers? Again, they are macho and think nothing of zooming along and not real mindful of traffic or yards…they really can mess up a yard in quick order. The snow blowers are also a fun breed to watch, hell, they just blow their snow into your yard or drive and think this is cool. Now the really cool folks are the old fashion types who are out there with shovels. Oh sure, it takes them longer and they have many breaks but I can assure you, they are not tossing snow into your drive – they can’t toss it that far!

My husband is a combo of snow shovel and snow blower. Years ago he decided my expensive and well-fitted ski goggles were perfect and he stretched them out to much, only he can wear them now. His comment; “go buy another pair, what in hell is your problem!”

So that is morning rant and yes, we got lots of snow, the temp is a lovely 10 degrees, the wind is whipping and its bloody ass cold out there. The guy who does our driveway, has been and gone, the village plows have filled in the end of the drive and the side steps need to be swept and a path shoveled for the mailman. All of this is normal and typical of the season…yes, I love winter. Will I venture out today? Most likely – still got a little shopping let and the longer I can delay wrapping gifts the better (I hate that part). Hey, have a lovely day and if nothing else, bundle up and get outside for a little bit – fresh air does a body good (don’t ask me who came up with this concept but I have heard it all my life!).

Kitty Chuckle

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!

You don't even have to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tried to eat the bird.My wife went out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night. So she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.

On another note, I woke up this morning to the following: See below!

Two feet of snow, get it? Ya, thought you would....now laugh, oh hell, smile then!

Snow Plow

One winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

So the good wife went out and moved her car... A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says,"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

&&&&&

I haven't looked outside (I have but its dark so I can't see much) but the temp is 25 degrees and hubby just informed me; "its slick out there." Meaning, slippery and to be careful. Eventually I shall don snowshoes and trek around the yard and if I feel really ambitious, I can do a loop or two around the field across the street. My other plans including running the vacuum, that's always fun and who knows I may even dust. Then, if the roads are good,well, Wally World just ain't the same if I let too many days pass without a visit --ya, I do have a few things I need to pick up but nothing that I cannot live without.

So all of you, keep smiling and remember, "you're above ground so stop whining!"

Sunday

Yup, another week done...amazing. Been a cold week too. I do not understand why the birds don't care to partake of the seeds I set out...damn squirrels have no problems breaking thru the ice to get a snack.

As for me, the snow has made snowshoeing a pleasure and challenge. The other day, I was in the woods, trekking along like this was my job and wham, down I went. Didn't get hurt, fluffy snow but missed some log and tripped. Then, using the trekking poles attempt to use them to help myself up. Well, shit, one decided to shrink so that was a big help! LOL

I'm learning and enjoying my iPhone..damn, this thing does everything, well, sorry I still haven't figure out how to make it spit out money but I can check lots of stuff and even "voice command"searches via typing in all this crap -- its amazing. Hey, these suckers will replace laptops real soon..who in hell needs a laptop when this sucker does it all and is much smaller?

Well, I know its a play off Sunday and I will watch football but first, off to lunch with my dau and then, we'll hit a few stores -- got one item to return to Wally World -- hate returning crap but hey, it don't work, so return it, right?

Ya'all have a good day and if possible, get outside, suck in that fresh air and beat those germs outta your system...keep smiling...

Monday -Again ♥

Now that "light" has begun to show itself, and I managed to actually read the underground weather news, here is what it says? Ready?

...BLACK ICE POSSIBLE ON AREA ROADWAYS THIS MORNING...BLACK ICE HAS DEVELOPED ON SOME ROADWAYS AND SIDEWALKS ACROSS THE NORTH COUNTRY OVERNIGHT. AFTER A PERIOD OF MILD AND WET WEATHER THIS WEEKEND...TEMPERATURES HAVE COOLED TO BELOW FREEZING ACROSS MOST SECTIONS EARLY THIS MORNING. WITH SATURATED CONDITIONS...

BLACK ICE HAS FORMED IN SOME LOCATIONS.MOTORISTS AND PEDESTRIANS SHOULD BE ADVISED THAT SLICK SPOTS EXIST AND MAY BE DIFFICULT TO SEE. USE EXTRA CAUTION THIS MORNING.


Snow is fine, I mean one can deal with snow but ICE -- not so much. Ice does not care what you drive, you do not stop easily on ice and any of you fools, with your fancy cars, will most likely learn this the hard way (you always do).

So, I reckon I shall stay home, take down decorations (oh stop, you want to leave yours up thru New Year's be my guest), do some laundry, might even vacuum and then of course, fire up the Wii and play a few games.



OR I could be brave and go outside, slap on the snowshoes and take a hike -- now that I could probably handle and it might be fun..only driving involved is my own drive...gee, what a concept.



Went and saw the Sherlock Holmes movie last night. Now I gotta tell ya, we lived in England for a while so adapting to the British accent is not that big a deal but this movie was a bit hard to follow..either the sound was too low or the actors were mumbling their lines. One thing tho, this version definitely allows one to appreciate Dr.Watson more -- about bloody damn time. Did I enjoy the movie? On a scale of 1 to 10, I'll give this one a 7. What I hope to watch, soon, is Blind Side, Avatar and Invictus --now those sounds like damn good flicks to me.



Okay, this is it for me this morning...you all have a great day, this Fruitcake is gonna move her arse and get something done...keep smiling.

Yes, the Day AFTER

Okay, you know it's gonna be said, so chill out, here it comes: Here's hoping you had a marvelous Christmas, that Santa was good to you and that you had a good day (good is defined by you and only you). Thar, it's been said, shall we move on? Thought so!!!

I gotta tell ya, I rarely ask for anything but more photos of my grandkids, maybe a sweatshirt and some goofy gadgets. I mean, I honestly have a hard time thinking of something I want or feel is necessary to make someone else feel good because they got it for me. Now wait a second, I say this with no sense of false pride, I buy stuff throughout the year and well, when it comes to this time of year, I honestly cannot think of anything I want, need or can't live without...its that bloody simple and direct. I know this irks others because they enjoy getting things for me too, but truly, when I say I want photos, etc., that is what I want...why don't people listen?

I was somewhat shocked this year -- I got an iPhone and will spend the next few months learning how to operate it but it has proven to be quite a nice little toy and while I haven't exactly made many phone calls, I have down loaded Pandora and now have music, I have access to my Facebook account, I have enter some names and given phones a special ring tone and yes, I have even taken a few photos and managed to save them...ya, all this in just one day...holy sheet.

Then to keep my electronic brain clogged even more, I also got a mini-laptop and that had to be set up too. What is really neat about this is that it comes with a build-in webcam so no fussing with that sucker, once you get someone to be online and in the same program, you can see each other and as this is a mini-laptop, walk around and show folks various rooms, objects, etc (sorry,bathroom and bedroom are strictly off limits).

So much for all this techie stuff, my happiest gifts and I actually asked for these were books. I do love to read and I wanted the Andre Agassi book and yes, Sarah Palin's book...hey, you can say what you want, but you need to read stuff and make up your own mind, okay?

On the lighter side, two new programs for the Wii set and man, the sports one is a hoot -- love to make these critters do things I could not do in a million years, like skate, jump, twirl, spin and stay upright. Or actually ride a snowboard downhill and score stylin points! Yes, there are "workout" programs and I shall get into them but not until after the New Year actually begins, why stress myself out over the pounds I added during the holidays..I'll just work harder and drop them..so thar. Snowshoeing helps!

So that is my update and again, I honestly hope you all had a nice Christmas. Today has been rainy,cold and at moments the fear of a repeat of the 1998 Ice Storm. We ain't outta the woods but hey, in upstate Minnesota they have 15 inches of snow and its still coming down---yikes.

SNOW?

Hey, don’t put those snow boots and coats away yet!

Yup, woke up this morning and we now have yet another white blanket on our lawn. Well, that’s what we get for feeling so frisky and thinking spring meant something like GREEN!

Now yesterday was nice, sun was shining and all that good stuff but I gotta tell ya, that wind was chilly and that should have been sufficient warning that colder stuff was headed our way – it’s now 32 degrees and I don’t see it rising any time soon…ye gads!!

Oh I loved this headline – “with the economy down, vasectomies are up!” Now the experts say the following is the reason - Their best guess is that the trend is due both to a decreased desire to have children because of the expense involved, and an increased desire to get such medical procedures done before their jobs -- and health insurance -- disappear. Well, I gotta say for once the male has stepped up to the plate. Usually it’s the men who want the woman to have her tubes tied, stay on the pill forever, or some other process that will reduce chances of a pregnancy.

On the nutrition front – eggs are back on the good list – sheet, I never took them off my list, did you? For starters, eggs are a great source of protein. They also provide vitamins A, E, B6 and B12, and the yolks contain carotenoids, which promote good eyesight, and choline, an essential nutrient linked with cell functioning and a healthy liver. Well, damn, ain’t it nice to know we were not stupid after all!!!

LONDON (AP) -- The publicist for British reality TV star Jade Goody says she has died at home after a long and public battle with cervical cancer. Rest in peace Jade.

Tennis: Holy sheet, the tennis front is becoming quite interesting. Indian Wells has seen some major upsets this week. Get this Roger Federer, Number two in the tennis world, was beaten by Andy Murray who is ranked number 4. Then, Andy Roddick whose rank I do not recall at the moment but has recently shown a very improved game was beaten by Rafa Nadal who is ranked number one. So, what does this mean, it means the championship match will be Rafa vs Andy Murray. Care to place a bet? My money is on Rafa – the man is on a win-win role that doesn’t seem to show any signs of changing soon.

Have you ever watched those “Travel” shows especially with the so called successful chefs or supposed experts on taste buds? Well, I gotta tell ya, I watch these shows only because TV sucks and this at least is entertaining. Andrew Zimmerman is a total nut case. This man will eat anything – let me give ya a few examples: cow’s urine tonic,
Fresh goat’s blood, giant flying ants, penis soup and donkey skin, etc. And they get paid to do this stuff, plus travel to all this crazy places. Where in hell was I during my college years that I missed these classes or opportunities? In fact I don’t recall any classes or counselor suggesting a culinary career for me – ummm, why was that?

Well, I think I have bored you long enough for a Sunday morning. Yes, it is still snowing and I am sure the maple syrup folks are thriving big time…still haven’t made it to a sugar house but maybe today – where in hell did I leave that dog sled?

Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

REASONS

You know sometimes you just have to realize there was or is a reason why something was or was not possible. Or a reason why something is or is not done. Yeah, like this is news to anyone…fun to say this crap but it’s pretty normal, right?

For two years I have been “trying” to cross country ski and I have given it a very dedicated effort. I did realize that I needed a shorter ski, that ten foot board in front of this 5 foot body was just too much. I also accepted the reality that cross country skiing was a lot different than downhill skiing, which I have and can do. But this cross country stuff just escapes me (ya, I know, look for a smaller country). Now I discover my not getting it may have been a good thing. Consider this, in Bangor, Maine cross country skiers are being targeted by at least one ornery and territorial owl. It seems this great horned owl swoops down from a tree with talons outstretched and smacks them on the head. So, my learning curve has just gone up!

Can’t afford to buy your own house? Well, here’s an idea – have 8 kids, become Octu-MOM and let dear ole Daddy or some “Daddy” buy you a home. Of course this is after your (1) are famous for having this many babies, (2) ostracized for being so stupid as to get pregnant when you all ready have 6 kids at home and (3) supposedly have $50,000 in college loans to payoff. But hey, if you can survive all this and the “judgment” of the entire world, you might just get a new home. Oh ya, I see ya rushing the fertility clinic – slow down, it’s closed!

Now this next “reason” is gonna make ya smile – well, maybe it’ll make you smile. Seems Utah needs to boost tourism so guess what – they’re gonna open bars to the public. Say what? You see, currently you had to be a member of a private club system, pay a fee to enter the bar or be the guest of someone in the club. And you wonder why folks live in that state – can you say Mormon?

Okay, enuff of this nonsense. I guess my days of walking without crampons are not here yet. So I need to strap those on, get my coat, hat, and gloves and of course my trusty camera and head out of my morning walk. Let’s see, its 25 degrees – makes for a brisk walk, right? Unfortunately it’s also slick so no real pace can be set as ice slows me down to almost a crawl. Have I mentioned this before “the only good ice is in a glass?”

More later….Tuesday should be an interesting day…haven’t looked at the daily weather forecast but any time we’re above ground is a good day, right?

You keep smiling Sunshine!

GOTTA DO WHAT YA GOTTA DO

Whenever I got a new camera, I always took “up the road” and “down the road” shots. My family has teased me about these shots for years and yet, even with my trusty cameras (meaning no longer new) I still love to take up and down the road shots. Got a little better at them as the years moved along – now I at least use railroad tracks, instead of a dirt or paved road (that did get a tad boring).

Okay, you’re not going outside when it’s this flippin cold, right? You stay inside and that is just dandy with me but I really do encourage you to venture outside – truly, you are missing the wonders of winter. Ya, you wonder what in hell makes anyone want to be out there in the damn cold, right?

After weeks of “maybe, Naw, well perhaps and forget it,” I finally put those crampons on my boots and went for a winter walk on the icy sidewalks. I was absolutely amazed at (1) how freakin cold it was [ I mean, yes, it was -8 degrees and I snowshoe in these temps and lower but walking is different -- I should have worn more layers because it takes a while to warm up your body vs snowshoeing where a few steps and you are warming up damn quick] and (2) how well these suckers work. I also tried out a new winter coat (new in that I hadn't worn it yet) and discovered it does keep me pretty warm but it tends to "crackle" when it gets cold -- odd. Anyway, the point is I did not fall, I didn't really get all that cold and it felt damn good to resume my daily walks. Not doing two miles in these temps but hey, one and half miles ain't bad when the temp is reading -4 degrees!



What was really bad was removing my mittens to take icicle photos. I gotta tell ya, normally the only ice I wanna deal with is in a glass but icicles fascinate me – how the hell they form, the seemingly odd pattern or path they take and yet, they keep reaching toward the ground. Oh come on, of course I know this is frozen water and it flows DOWN from the roof top, what did you think, I thought they were frozen donut holes? Anyway, I find them fascinating and consider this sick idea: it's the perfect murder weapon...stab someone, it melts,tada no weapon! Is that sick or what? Ya, you all went with "what,"didn't ya? The mind is a terrible thing to waste but this is one wasted thought that should NOT have been shared!



Once again I shall "water" the granddog and today I'm taking the big camera with me and see if I can't get more amazing bird shots. That was fun yesterday even if Moose was ready to get back inside where it was warm. In the meantime, enjoy the icicle photos:

Quote of the day:

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater..

If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

Snow Shoeing

Just wanted to show ya that I actually do snow shoe. Sometimes people make claims and they never do what they claim. Not me, I'm the real deal -- fat, sassy and living life to the fullest.

Now let's cut some slack here, shall we, when one bundles up for outdoor outings, they tend to look -- well -- bundled up. So if you think I haven't lost any weight, see me in the Spring. Now for some Ya-Ya Sister comments.

Reasons to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous training?"

Clear as a bell my body said; "Listen fatty, do it and die!"

Amazing!! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today!

Hey, you all have a grand Sunday -- it's a mere 16 degrees out there, surely you can handle that -- get outside and enjoy the winter wonders!

HERE WE GO

Yup, this is the word for the day and supposedly shall last until sometime Sunday -- oh how precious is this?

More peanut products added to recall list
More than 31 million pounds, 125 items affected in salmonella probe. Damn, this happens to be one of my favorite snack foods and now, well, I can’t have it until this mess is cleared up. Why can’t this happen to those fat-building-pound items instead of the good stuff?

Rep. Gillibrand gets Clinton's Senate seat
After N.Y. selection drama, governor names upstate congresswoman to job. Does anyone know anything about this woman other than she is a woman? Here’s what one person had to say about her:

"She is whip-smart and hard working," said Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York City. "She has made helping upstate her mission, but she understands that New York City is the economic engine that makes the state go. I'm going to work hard to help her be a success. She was a great choice among a lot of great candidates."

Well, that makes all the difference, now I know all there is to know about this woman, you go girl, you go!

Oh hell, enuff of this stuff…woke up this morning feeling guilty about blowing my diet so bad yesterday. I even replayed my sisters comments when we chatted; “Stop,” she said, “you can blow this diet every now and then, who in hell cares. It’s not like you have quit completely, just one flippin day. By the way, don't you have a place where you could buy just one donut vs a box of 12? What in hell were you thinking--- dummy! Okay, now relax, have a beer and tomorrow, well, workout twice as long for being stupid."

I was all set to go outside and really put in some snowshoe time until I saw the “wind chill advisory.” Holy sheet – minus 21 wind chill, hey even I ain’t that dedicated to snowshoeing. I shall wait and if things warm up I may venture out but most likely, this is gonna be an inside workout day. Watch out Yoga I’m gonna do you again – well, part of your program. And I always have the lovely Wii program, which offers various exercises. I will, one day, get the Wii Fitness program – if they ever buy more than two for the entire county. No shit, stores can’t keep this program on the shelves, so why don’t they order MORE of them? Is this rocket science? Damn, give me that order blank, I’ll insure we all get a chance to buy this sucker…weird people.

Okay, you all have a nice Saturday – my blah moment has passed – thank goodness, too many of them and I’d be bonkers for sure.

Just went out to get the paper, I'm so cold my boobs are chattering!

WINTER CLOTHING

Every season has it’s – what shall I call them – appearances, ya that’s a good term. Appearance takes on many forms but winter sees us dressing and walking differently and in some cases, we talk differently too.

Let’s start with our head. Now we got the ones who refuse to wear any head gear and complain about how cold their head is and how they can’t get rid of this damn cold! We got the folks who wear some really fugly head gear but hey, they are warm. What is amazing is nobody really cares what folks have on their head and even when yanked off, we all know hair ain’t gonna look pretty and sticking up or stuck to one’s head is fine.

Now move down to jackets and neck scarves. Now some think they can put a sweater (or two) on and a summer jacket and this is sufficient cold weather gear – lots of luck. Others are so “down” filled they look like stuffed Michelin dolls and waddle as they walk. You got the neck scarves that are practically covering the entire face, toss in the hat and upward collar and you’re damn lucky if you can see eyes, but hey they are warm so leave them alone! Personally I dislike a heavy winter coat, I mean I want to be warm but I don’t want to haul around extra weight – so a Columbia, North Face or Gear jacket is just fine (I usually take out the inner lining as this is too much heat for me – call me nuts but hey, I’m comfy and warm).

And what about the hand cover? Oh man, this is amazing. Some refuse to wear any gloves, macho types and they got cracked skin and cold hands that never seem to warm up and these folks either sit on their hands or have them wrapped around a hot drink cup. Other folks wear these gloves that look cute but provide absolutely no warmth whatsoever and they don them to scrap ice off their windshield. As they don’t last long, these are the clowns you see driving along with a tiny pin hole from which to drive – ya, these are my faves – idiots!

We also got the one’s who wear gloves that go half way up the arm and have what appears to be hundreds of straps to keep them secure. Watch these clowns try to free a hand to use their wallets – it’s truly a work of art! The best of course are the mitten group, now good mittens will keep your hands warm, grip the steering wheel and look damn fashionable too. Of course thinsulate gloves are also stylish and doable.

I shant’ go into pants – we got some who wear blue jeans, ski pants, snow pants and what ever and a few gals insist on wearing skirts, nylons and wonder why in hell they are cold! Nope, let’s move right on down to the foot wear – this where it really gets cute. And yes, no matter what you wear on your feet or your age, we all tend to shuffle along – that’s one thing winter weather does for us – give us all the same shuffle walking field. Not reserved just for old folks!

But the foot attire – holy cow dung, this is unreal. We got the tennis shoes that are worn year round and that includes in 3 feet of snow – nobody is gonna get them to wear stupid boots. Frozen toes and feet don’t mean squat, they love their tennis shoes. Then we got the heeled boots that women find attractive and damn awkward to walk in especially on ice – but hey, they look nice! We got what looks like “moon” boots so damn big and bulky it’s amazing anyone can walk in them but supposedly they keep your feet warm…just that you won’t move or stay outside long because you’ll be exhausted just walking in these suckers.

We got all kinds of boots and some require thermal socks but they keep the feet warm. My fave is the thinsulate boots which are light weight, relatively attractive and man do they keep your feet warm. Yes, they are a tad pricey but good winter boots is anything but cheap and as an adult, spend the money and you’ll wear these boots for many years.

Yes winter attire is amazing and I find it damn fun to witness and at times shake me head in wonder and other times, wish to hell I had something I see someone else wearing. Regardless, us North Country folks do know how to dress warm for the weather and we don’t really care if we look stylish or not, we only want to be warm and able to move about outside. And we do get outside, maybe not for long periods but cold weather does not keep us inside – we do go the stores, church, visiting and even out to eat.

Yes, it’s gonna get colder tonight and I doubt I’ll be snowshoeing tomorrow but hey, I’ll be outside a little bit only because I like to test myself and insure this truly is below zero weather. I lived in North Dakota years ago and one winter day, our temp was 60 below zero and we were colder than Alaska. I think even I decided to stay inside and not test that temp – that was really cold!

So dress warm, stoke those fires or put on more blankets 'cause it's suppose to get really, really cold tonight -- way below zero temps and we'll grin and bear it... next week we'll warm up and say, "aw, that wasn't so bad!"

SNOW WALK

Oh I know I will have many of these but this was my first snow walk of the season. First off the temp was 24 degrees and that meant I needed warmer walking clothes, in this case that meant fleece coat, mittens, hat, etc. Still just wore my tennis shoes tho – which was fine.

As I began it was hail coming down and I figured this wouldn’t last long so off I went. Wasn’t long before it was snow and it was coming down pretty damn seriously – hey, the streets were white, wind blowing and snow blowing, I call that serious! And yes, it was cold – mostly the wind.

However it was a grand walk – brisk and one that definitely told me to keep moving, don’t stop to enjoy the sights and, fool if this happens again, wear a damn scarf around your face – this sheet is cold! So having lectured myself I came back and did my yoga workout (mild form I assure you) and now I shall cool down and then, well, time to do a little house cleaning – that damn vacuum doesn’t run by itself and the dust fairy is on strike, so that means I gotta do the dusting too!

While walking I recalled one Thanksgiving tradition that I wonder if other families do? Name exchange! Hey I was from a big family, seven kids and there was no way in hell we were gonna buy gifts for 9 people (remember we had Mom and Dad too). So we drew a name and yes, Mom and Dad were in the hat too. Oh ya, there was a minimum you had to spend, something like $2 – come on, it was my childhood – not today’s youth! It was fun and we tried to guess who had our name and usually got surprised Christmas morning by who actually had our name.

We were not a rich family, at least not financially and it always amazed me that our parents managed to give us memorable Christmas mornings. We got a lot of homemade stuff and man, I’d love to have those things today, homemade mittens, hats, sweaters, vest, and socks and so on – they were the best and man, did they keep you warm. We always got some kind of game which could and did involve the entire family. Now we rarely played it on this day but as we were on school break, we did play it and at times it got pretty loud and tempers would flare but all in all it was fun.

But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves – first let’s celebrate Thanksgiving, right? I love this holiday and it’s because family gets together and there’s lots of food. My mother was inclined to try some new recipe at Thanksgiving and as your plate was piled high with food, no wonder everything was given a seal of approval. Rarely did you come across a food that you wanted to spit out – not that spitting was allowed but hey, that’s a good use for a napkin!!!

So, if you can, get outside and take a walk today – be careful tho – it’s a tad slick in places but man it sure is fun. I'll try to share more turkey day memories later on in the week -- there's a boat load!

Norwood Ice Rink is just waiting ---and soon we all can skate on it and have our usual winter fun -- hurrah. Thanks