Every now and then, I wonder how certain expressions/sayings got started or better yet, how many have heard them. Having lived in other countries, I got to hear many and now, well, now I plan to share a few – just to drive you bonkers!
“It was so quiet this morning; I could hear a sparrow fart.” I have no idea where this one came from but it just cracks me up every time I hear it. Sometimes, when walking, it is really, really quiet and this remark just pops into my head and, no I have never heard a sparrow fart!
This particular statement was actually made while I was living in England. I was walking down a street; an attractive, well dressed older woman was walking toward me and had this dog on a leash. The dog was well behaved and controlled and the woman was uttering comments to the dog. As we got closer we exchanged the usual greeting and I inquired; “what kind of dog is that?” She looked right at me, never blinked and replied, “She’s a bitch!” Okay then, have a nice day!
Again, in England I had just entered this grocery store and a woman yells out, “Luv, don’t forget your trolley!” What the hell? She meant shopping cart. I would learn a lot that day as I shopped, tins were canned goods, a hiding was a spanking a child was gonna get for acting bad, and a fag was a cigarette.
In Greece I quickly learn that raising and showing your entire hand, as in the start of waving was like giving someone the finger, so you had to be quick about waving or you were insulting someone big time!
Some of my most confusing and frustrating memories were in Vietnam. I would say “ciao” to my maid and sometimes I’d get a bowl of soup or my boots or tub of what she considered coffee (trust me it was not coffee – it was mud). Just wanting to say hello or good bye, which used the same word but inflected differently, was really a challenge. Later I would learn passable Vietnamese and life got much easier. However I never could convince my maid to stop using starch when she washed my clothes. Everything was given a starch bath and I mean everything – underwear, shirts, hats, socks, etc.
Order food in Vietnam was always fun too and most of us (those who served) can easily relate to having “fried lice” which was usually damn good – that’s fried rice for those who wondered!
“It was so quiet this morning; I could hear a sparrow fart.” I have no idea where this one came from but it just cracks me up every time I hear it. Sometimes, when walking, it is really, really quiet and this remark just pops into my head and, no I have never heard a sparrow fart!
This particular statement was actually made while I was living in England. I was walking down a street; an attractive, well dressed older woman was walking toward me and had this dog on a leash. The dog was well behaved and controlled and the woman was uttering comments to the dog. As we got closer we exchanged the usual greeting and I inquired; “what kind of dog is that?” She looked right at me, never blinked and replied, “She’s a bitch!” Okay then, have a nice day!
Again, in England I had just entered this grocery store and a woman yells out, “Luv, don’t forget your trolley!” What the hell? She meant shopping cart. I would learn a lot that day as I shopped, tins were canned goods, a hiding was a spanking a child was gonna get for acting bad, and a fag was a cigarette.
In Greece I quickly learn that raising and showing your entire hand, as in the start of waving was like giving someone the finger, so you had to be quick about waving or you were insulting someone big time!
Some of my most confusing and frustrating memories were in Vietnam. I would say “ciao” to my maid and sometimes I’d get a bowl of soup or my boots or tub of what she considered coffee (trust me it was not coffee – it was mud). Just wanting to say hello or good bye, which used the same word but inflected differently, was really a challenge. Later I would learn passable Vietnamese and life got much easier. However I never could convince my maid to stop using starch when she washed my clothes. Everything was given a starch bath and I mean everything – underwear, shirts, hats, socks, etc.
Order food in Vietnam was always fun too and most of us (those who served) can easily relate to having “fried lice” which was usually damn good – that’s fried rice for those who wondered!
Okay, enuff of this – now for some questions to get your mind working:· If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea – does that mean that one out of five enjoy it?
· If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
· If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
· Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
· Is it true you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
And remember: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing!
No comments:
Post a Comment