SMILE

The Gynecologist

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance, HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire life.

COOL ANSWER

Barbara Walters, of television's 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even farther back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.'

GOLF

Four married guys go golfing...At the 4th hole the following conversation took place:

First Guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to comeout golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I'll paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second Guy: 'That's nothing,…… I had to promise my wife that I'll build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third Guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I'll remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to play th e hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word.

So they ask him,'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend.What's the deal?'

Fourth guy:'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am.. When it went off, I gave the wife a slap on the ass and said: 'Golf course or interc0urse?'

She said: 'Wear sun-block.'

HARRY THE EAGLE

Did you know that Eagles mate for life?Well one day, Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.So he flew off to find a new mate.

He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.The sex was good but all the dove would say is....'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'

Well this got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate.He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest.

Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!'

So out with the loon.Once more he flew off to find a mate.This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest.. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....

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NO, The duck didn't say THAT...... Don't be SO disgusting!

The duck said.....'I am a DRAKE,You made a MISTAKE !!!!!!!!!'

So are you smiling? Did you laugh? Well, its a rainy day and I'm over due for my nap.....