Oh Just Read

Vacation in Rome & Ireland

On vacation in Rome, I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, I asked who the telephone was for. The priest told me it was a direct line to Heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. I was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Italy, I kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same, a direct line to Heaven and I could call for a thousand dollars.

I finished my tour in Ireland. I decided to attend Mass at a local village church. When I walked in the door I noticed the now familiar golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating: "DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN - 25 cents."

"Father," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?"

The priest smiled and said, "Darlin', you're in Ireland now. It's a local call."

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Washing Clothes Recipe

'Washing Clothes Recipe' -- imagine having a recipe for this! Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe: This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all..

WASHING CLOTHES Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water.

Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin' water.

Sort things, make 3 piles:

1 pile white

1 pile colored

1 pile work britches and rags.

To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.

Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch. (For you non-southerners -"wrench" means "rinse").

Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

Hang old rags on fence.

Spread tea towels on grass.

Pore wrench water in! flower bed.

Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

Turn tubs upside down.

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

Paste this over your washer and dryer. Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks.

First thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer, also your toilet---those two-holers used to get mighty cold!

And we think we have it rough!