MOTHER’S REVENGE

Hiding presents for seven kids at Christmas was a major undertaking for our parents. There weren’t many rooms not occupied or used and the barn, well, that wasn’t exactly the best place to hide certain gifts. And while our parents’ room was more or less off limits, if they were gone, that room was fair game for snooping just like any other room!

In some ways by snooping we spoiled our own Christmas and because we didn’t see what we wanted, we were angry and upset with our parents for weeks before the big day. And to think, they expected a gift from us (like we wanted to give them something nice after seeing what they were getting us – not bloody likely).

There was never any doubt that they knew someone had snooped, we could never put things back exactly as they had placed them, so they knew things had been pawed over. But one year they really shocked us and as we found gifts (in the usual hiding places) we were blown away. Man, we had hit the mother lode. Now there was no such thing as a lottery in those days but based on the gifts we found, someone either robbed a bank, a rich relative died and left them tons of money or our parents were in debt to their eyeballs. Not that we cared, holy sheet, we had some truly remarkable gifts coming to us Christmas morning.

Well, based on this find, we knew we had to earn some money and buy the folks a decent gift this year. No more of that watered down perfume or cheap cigars or ties that Dad only wore on Sunday morning. Nope we had to do better than that and we busted our asses earning money to buy them decent, meaningfully and costly gifts.

Christmas morning came and we literally were ripping into presents with joyful abandonment – this was the mother lode of Christmases and we were lucky kids. Wait! This gift we never saw until now, well, it’s nice but where did they hid this? The next gift was the same deal – in fact, all the gifts were nice, doable and appreciated but they sure as hell weren’t any mother lode. What the hell happened?

Our parents knew we had snooped and although each year they told us to not do this and it would spoil Christmas we, like most kids, did not listen. So, on this year Mom and her best friend, Lula, swapped houses to hid gifts and as we thought we’d hit the mother lode, Lula’s kids thought they’d found poverty plus!

You see unlike some parents, ours were not willing to go in debt to give us this fancy Christmas with gifts they could not afford just to prove something –instead, they worked hard and gave us what we needed and a few frills tossed in to keep our childhood fun and real. And after this house-swapping-hiding-gift number, I for one never snooped for Christmas gifts ever again.

Mom’s revenge worked so if you think your kids have found your hiding spot (most likely they have) think about pulling this little number and really messing with their minds – it’s a hoot! Who ever said Christmas is only about kids!!!