Vern's Birthday

Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends

Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every

Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,

So for his birthday she takes him to a local

Strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,

"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to

This club before.

"Oh no," says Vern. " He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern

If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable

And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her

Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all

Over him and says...

"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious,

Grabs her purse and storms out of the club

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in

Beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper

Must have mistaken him for someone else,

But his wife is having none of it

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,

Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says

Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD

THIS COMING FRIDAY.  

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Maiden snowshoe voyage, but howdy did he love this and did quite nicely.  Unlike his Grandmother who's first attempt was definitely a major learning experience. Of course I did not have my mother insuring the "fit" was secure and proper and I needed poles to keep me upright, however, in due course, I too managed to master this winter activity and spent many an hour hiking in fields, woods and even my own backyard getting one hell of a workout!

I just had to post this because (1) its funny and (2) it makes perfect sense, and (3) I personally do not have any tattoos and have no desire to have any!

Okay, it is Christmas Eve (day) and I got a list of things to do, which amazes me because I thought I was pretty much ready, however as I lay in bed I realized there was a few more "chores" that needed my attention.  If the list gets any longer, it will be tossed out!

Tad chilly this morning, 17 degrees (ya Minnesota tell me this is warm front)-- and the wind seems quite still for a change.  I gotta give the vampires more blood this morning and then, off to the Liquor store to get some wine.  I haven't been able to have any alcohol but tomorrow I plan to have a glass of wine come hell or high water.

So everyone, have a wonderful day and remember, its not the gifts but the folks you spend this day with that counts.  Love to all!!!