The Lone Ranger and Tonto--a True Story

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky. What you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo shit. It mean someone stole tent."

***************

Well, its Saturday morning, a bit chilly outside but no snow. Now, we did have a five minute snow storm yesterday,kinda pretty but nothing stuck and it was all over before you get a camera ready!  Oh have no fear, we'll get the white stuff in quick order and then, haul out the snow shoes and hike in the woods.  Now this is one hell of a workout and quite fun too.

Once again, we are inviting our dau and grandson to join us for breakfast and then, on to grocery shopping.  Only this time I will bring a spare car key cuz I ain't gonna see us locked out of the car again...that performance is not worth repeating at least not for a long, long time.

Next week is a tad busy, what with doctor appointments and all but at some point, we really gotta get busy and get stuff wrapped and ready to mail to the Minnesota crew or it'll be late and nobody wants late Christmas gifts,right?  As for shopping, again I down to stock stuffers and perhaps a few things for good ole Dad but who knows, I could be done and that is fine with me too.

Have a lovely day and wishing the Warroad Squirt A team good luck on their weekend hockey game and trip...go team.

Just Watch its Amazing

Chew Gum

SLU prof says chew gum before big test and it could help
Wednesday, November 30, 2011 - 5:11 pm

CANTON -- Research by a St. Lawrence University psychology professor suggests that if you’re a student and have an important test coming up, you might do better if you chew some gum.

St. Lawrence University Assistant Professor of Psychology Serge Onyper conducted a study that showed that students who chewed gum for five minutes before taking a test did better on the test than non-gum-chewing students. “Mastication-induced arousal” is credited for the boost, which lasted for about the first 20 minutes or so of testing. Results of the study were published in the journal Appetite.

A “battery of cognitive tasks” was given to the study participants, who chewed gum either prior to or throughout testing. Their performance was then compared with subjects who did not chew gum.

Many studies have shown that any type of physical activity can produce a performance boost. This study points indicates that even mild physical activity might bring on such a boost.

Chewing gum seems to have given the subjects multiple advantages, but only when chewed for five minutes before testing, not for the duration of the test. Benefits persisted for the first 15 to 20 minutes of testing only. Onyper notes that a possible reason the benefits didn’t continue throughout testing may be due to “a sharing of resources by cognitive and masticatory processes.”

In other words, you can’t chew gum and think productively at the same time.

Onyper was the lead researcher on a study presented earlier this year showing that students who took classes starting earlier in the morning tended to get higher grades, even though they may have gotten less sleep.

So now you know what to pack when your kid has an exam! As a former teacher, I outlawed gum in my classroom -- I detested the gum--smacking chewing performance of those who found making loud noises so attractive!!!  But this was a 100 years ago, who knows what happens now!!!

Well, I have tried the molded cookie sheets and to date, have not found recipe that works in them, someone suggested cake batter and all I could think was; "that's gonna be small pieces of cake."  So now I'm thinking they might be candy molds?  Whatever,this is one challenge I can't beat so forget..those pans will be in the yard sale next spring for damn sure.

Hubby nicely shared his cold with me, now I have the sucker and last night I took some NyQuil early and man, that stuff kicked in fast and I was struggling to stay awake.  Clint was over here with us, helping Papa set up the train under the Christmas tree and the train just doesn't go fast enough for him, he wants to push it around the track.  It's battery operated and cute as hell but again, not speedy enough for him.

Oh hell no, no tree up or inside decorations out, outside lights are done but inside haven't even started on them.  I will get to them but so far I've been busy with other stuff. We just use a fiber optic tree these days, it works and we like it so that is that but I do have various holiday items around the house to make it look like Christmas.

My friend pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told me
"That's us in 10 years".

I said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!

The Cowboy

The Gay Cowboy...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand..

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
(P.S. - I didn't see it coming, either)

I never knew....

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:


"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then, they kick him in the ice hole.

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

Happy Thanksgiving

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his behind and let him go!'

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

************

It is early Wednesday morning, how early -- no daylight yet!  Yet I can see, from street lights, etc, that we got us a "dusting" last night and it's still kinda slushy-rain out there;however the temp is hovering around 35 degrees and slowly climbing.  I just don't want this to get nasty because the Syracuse group won't wanna travel in this crap and I wanna see my sister, niece and nephew.

Really miss the Minnesota family and I mean, miss them.  We rarely have shared Thanksgiving together as it is just to dang far but one of these days, maybe they can trek here and have this holiday with us.

Friday Auntie and I shall watch Clint so Kel and Meg can do that Black Friday madness, us ole gals ain't into that scene.  We'll probably hit two stores with Clint and call it good...come back here and play games and wait for him to take a nap, which may see us doing the same.

My daughter made this made to honor her adopted Aunt and we are wishing her positive thoughts and prayers as she continues to fight brain cancer.





Turkey Day, Shopping, Time Out Chair

Okay, we all have our memories of Thanksgiving, including the wish to one day sit at the big table and no longer be stuck at the kid's table, right? Well, I gotta tell ya, when I finally reached the age when I could be at the big table I was totally irked because (1) the little table got served first, (2) once seated at the big table, it was pretty crowded and you could hardly move and heaven forbid if you had to get out and (3) grown ups have this knack of keeping at least one serving dish constantly moving from person to person, it never ever hits the table.

Sunday we invited out daughter and grandson to join us for lunch and then grocery shopping, and as she needed items too, this was a good plan. Well, enroute to the store the boy fell asleep so we decided Dad and Dau would shop and I would sit in the car with the sleeping boy, when he woke up, we'd go get some lunch or as we intended to hit two grocery stores, he could be awake that outing, right?  Come on two years old, grocery store, shopping cart, what's not to like!!!

Five minutes after they walked into Hannaford's he woke up,so I got him out, locked the car and went looking for the shoppers.  Oh shit, Grandpa had left the keys in the ignition and now we were locked out...lovely.  So call triple A and wait an hour, during which time, we kept buying stuff, checking out, coming back in and by now even Hannaford had to wonder what in hell was wrong with us.  Oh well, car unlocked, groceries in the car, now let's get lunch. Oh crap, the two places we wished to go were  closed -- screw it, we're gonna go home and make sandwiches.  On the trip back, the boy fell asleep again and this time, he wasn't gonna wake up for a good two hours. And this my friends is what is known as memories!!!

Now the other day our grandson informed us the time out chair was broke. He uses this chair to reach the sink in the bathroom so he can wash his hands and brush his teeth.  Grandpa puts him in this chair if he misbehaves but Meme tends to use a box in his kitchen play room as his time out area (my sister says, "can you see him at school, when they tell him he's in time out...where in hell is my box?).  So as this chair has a crack it needs repair and Papa and Clint are gonna fix it.  Now, before you get to goofy about this, this chair has been in our family for years and I mean years, my son is 42 and he remembers sitting in the time out chair.  The photos below show you how this repair went:

Happy Thanksgiving to all and remember your blessing and be sure to thank those serving in our military.

Biblical Tale

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets




Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when youcannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased..

And Dog was happy.
And the Cat . . . didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Some Days.......

Ever have one of those days when for awhile, everything is going just right?  I mean, you get things done, which amaze you that it was that simple to do, you run errands and while you're getting a tad tired, you still feel you want to do more?  Ya, it was that kind of day yesterday.

Weather was absolutely beautiful, in the mid-60s and even the breeze was half way warm, I still needed a light coat tho --my internal thermostat is off whack since my surgery.  I had blood work done early, and I gotta laugh, the band aid put on my arm to stop any bleeding was HUGE.  Hell, it was bigger than some surgical cover-ups! Cracked me up!  Then I went to get some food, fasting is the pits, and finally over to Hanaford's for the lovely 49 cents a pound turkeys.  Only one per customer but hell, at that price, shop a couple days in a row, eh?  Now, I only wanted a 12-pound turkey, already have a 24 pounder for my dau to cook on turkey day. Ended up with a 16-pound sucker and for reasons I still am puzzled about, that sucker was heavy and just damn awkward to pick up and put in the cart.  Even worse was getting it into my freezer once I got home (I did it but it was just awkward).

Gonna try this idea for baking the turkey, you ready for this? No-baste, no-bother turkey.  Clean, wash and dry turkey, stuff cavity with 2 stalks of celery, 1 carrot and one medium-size sweet onion half. Now you preheat the oven to 500.  You rub butter, salt and pepper inside the cavity and outside. Put on roasting rack and add 2 cups of boiling water (ya cover the sucker too).  When oven temp returns to 500, cook for one hour.    Then, this is where it gets wild, turn off the oven and do not open door until oven cools (4 to 6 hours).  Remove turkey from roasting pan; reserve pan juices and that's it, a nice moist turkey, let set, then carve and serve or refrigerate if you want to eat it later.  How simple is this?

I love Thanksgiving, its my favorite holiday and all the cooking and preparing is just part of the fun.  For the past few years my dau has been preparing this meal and that is fine, I still get to contribute, which makes it even more fun.  However, we like to have our own turkey to nibble on the next day, hence the 16 pound extra turkey!  Ya, like you didn't have that figured out, eh?

By the way, remember when you had to sit at the little table?  I often wonder if people still do this because now, I don't see any "kid's table," everyone gathers round the dining room table and squeezes for space.  Tell ya what, once seated, you're stuck because getting up for any reason, would mean five other people would also need to move and that ain't gonna happen without some nasty comments, like; "damn, woman, didn't you go before you climbed in there?"  Or "whatta mean, you gotta get another beer, ask someone, they'll get you one, sit down you dumb jerk!"

Here's an interesting tidbit to make your day:  What is the food most often stolen to taken from a grocery store? Cheese, can you believe it?  Rates right up there with learning Brad Pitt plans to stop acting in three years (got enough money I guess) and instead, he wants to direct and/or write movies...how quaint!

Ya, ya, back to the lovely day and how it quickly changes.  I was returning the crib I had borrowed to my sister-in-law (who is currently in Germany) and hoped her grandson would be there to help me unload it.  He wasn't but no big deal, I figured I'd back up closer to the back door to make this a tad easier. Shit and double shit, I ran into her garage (didn't do any damage to it,) but smashed my tailight. Now I gotta get this sucker replaced and it was a lovely day until this incident!

Health Message

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ass. It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me!

Thank You

Today should be a day that needs to be celebrated every day as we thank all our Veterans, current, past and those who gave all for this great nation.

In 1967, I went to Vietnam and I gotta tell ya, yes I was scared and at the same time, felt it was the right thing to do and I needed to be there.  I saw things I never wish to see again and lost some truly amazing people but I also made some great friends and to this day, we are able to thank God we are still here and proud of our service.

I don't necessarily like remembering the various battles, the TET Offensive or the horrors of children discarded like trash or the way females were considered inferior and useless, so they were treated bad too.  But I also recall the beauty of that land, the people and the art.  There is something sad when all you hear is about destruction and no hope because we fought to give hope a chance and I'd like to think, in some small way, I did provide hope for some.

To all you serve and continue to serve, both stateside and overseas THANK YOU!

Funny Holy Humor

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up.."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past) For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do "his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.

THE BIBLE
Did you know that.. When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints. Let's read the Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake up.

How the Fight Started

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started..


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
terrible.."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.

Apple

It all began with an iPhone...

March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?


I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!

November

Ah, November is here and after Halloween, we must do something with all those apples, so the best method is having a two year old peel them:





He really thought this was quite fun...loved how he told me to "just eat it" as he shoved it into my mouth.   Needless to say, two fun days with my grandson but today he is back to daycare.  However, I will pick him up for his Mommy around 3 so she can attend some meeting.

_______________________________________________________________

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

Observations On Growing Older

~Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them!

~Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better!

~You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they Even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... Especially Golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's Called " Pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" Switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words .. "what?".... "when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything sold in stores is "sleeveless" !!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody Whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired .. You'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived !

Last Day in October 2011

Yes, happy Halloween.  I thought I had lost (probably would be a good idea) this costume but once found, it was perfect for my grandson's 2nd birthday party in combination with Halloween

Gotta tell ya, this party is becoming quite a treat for everyone as usually everyone dresses up and its fun to see who comes as what and the variety of costumes.  It was a grand party and now he is a whopping TWO! (Does this mean the terrible twos are upon us?).  Now we sweat out when the white stuff will hit us, none so far and that is fine...we can wait our turn.

However, this year I truly look forward to snow shoeing and I may even try cross country skiing again (not having much luck with this activity, downhill was so much easier and quicker to learn).  Last year I had surgery and all these activities were forbidden, so it will be fun to resume them.  And with Clint being older, he and I can have even more fun outside in the white stuff...gotta remind myself to get him a bigger sled tho.

So today, tomorrow and late Wednesday Clint will spend time with his grandparents.  I wonder how he will like going grocery shopping with Papa?  Better yet, will he enjoy Taco Bell?  Whatever, it will be a fun Monday for all of us...got some additional goodies for his play kitchen, which will keep him content for hours.  Amazing how much he likes this item and the fun he has pretending to cook, wash, clean, etc.  He is something but make no mistake he is all BOY. At times, its like witnessing a small bull in a china shop, he is not exactly gentle when he handles certain toys...oh well, it shall be fun and as we were also into the potty training stage, this too shall be interesting.

So you all have a good day, okay?  Yes, another flippin Monday-- deal with it!!!

Elmo-Clint...soooo cute.

Yay, its Friday

I saw this on Facebook and found it quite amusing, so I thought I'd share it...man, wouldn't it be fun to offer this when asked for a stool sample?

Well, its Friday, the last one for October and what is this crap, Sunday we set the clocks back an hour -- really, is it that time of year again...damn.

What is even more amazing is looking at the temp this morning, 23 degrees -- what the hell is this all about...oh, its the near end of Autumn and start of Winter, is that the story...shut your ass!!!

My darling kids are insisting I send a Wish List and if I don't they threaten to send my ugly underwear, ole suppositories and anything else they can find laying about the house that needs a new home.  The problem, I can't think of a damn thing I want other than photos of the grandkids...that is a wish all year and even more so during the Holiday season.  But I'd best come with something or I'll get this crap and trust, me I don't want any of it!!!

HUSBANDS

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE !'And they say blondes are dumb....

---------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...... '.
------------ --------- -------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.. 'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

--------- --------- --------- ----
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
--------- --------- --------- -------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

--------- --------- --------- -------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world.........
......then He made the earth round.

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others.. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities. The moral of the story is:

Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
 

It all started a few weeks ago, visiting my daughter's friend, Natasha and her family in Buffalo, Clint discovered this play kitchen and man, that was that, he loved it and it kept him busy the entire time.  So, Meme saw one in a yard sale, it was free, and picked it up, cleaned it up and then, bought some items and he was golden.  Since that free purchase, Meme has also purchased a "new" play kitchen so he has two and talk about fun, ye gads, he's in the playroom forever!!! (BTW, play room is his bedroom and where his crib once occupied space, now its the play room.)

In the meantime, for reasons still unclear to me, our Wednesday lunch outing was great fun, we went over to Malone and I even saw a former co-worker and that was fun surprising him.  The day was great and although the weather was getting colder, it was still a fun outing.  That night something went wrong, I had a tummy ache and then the diarrhea all damn night.  I mean, this was unreal. Every time I'd lay down and think this was done, it would happen again and again.  Needless to say I spent most of Thursday in bed, sleeping and hoping I was empty because, quite frankly, my ass was sore.  Around 5:30 I elected to take some food and it stayed down...hope to hell this was just a one day bug because this inactivity and sleepy day crap is not my style at all!

I am hearing from many that some kind of bug is going around and many kids and adults are down with this sucker.  Have no idea what other folks are taking, as for me, some Pepto Bismol was all I took and that provided great relief.  Today I am experiencing some back pain but that could be caused from no activity and stiffness.  I plan to cure that soon, vacuum and dusting, meaning bending and squatting should loosen those stiff muscles.  Aw the weekend...how delightful.

Oh one more photo to complete the start of your weekend...come on, its funny:

How many did you want?

Rules of the Clothesline

You have to be a certain age to appreciate this. I can hear my mother now ...

My mother would have loved this! Do you remember? Be sure to read to the end...the poem is so true.

THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: (if you don't know what clotheslines are, better skip this)

1. You had to wash the clothesline before hanging any clothes - walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail!. What would the neighbours think?

4 . Wash day on a Monday! . .. . Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

6. It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather ... clothes would "freeze-dry."

7. Always gather the clothespins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky!"

8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes off the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?! Well, that's a whole other subject!

A POEM

A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by,
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"
And towels upon the line;
You'd see the "company table cloths"
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby's birth
From folks who lived inside -
As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, "Gone on vacation now"
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way .. .. .

But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life.
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line.

The Green Thing

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ass. It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me!

Persimmons

A small church had a very attractive big-breasted organist and her breast were so large that they bounced and juggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So, one of the ladies approached her about the problem, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size. She warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up, and you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and made an announcement:

"Dew to thir cumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday.
 

&%&&&&^^^^

 

Yes it is now October -- hello.  I know, September went by way too fast,right?  Plus, since we hit the first day of Autumn, the temps have slowly but steadily dropped and dammit, I gave up and attempted to turn the heat on last night.  I mean, come on, rain, wind and low temp, this house was damp and some heat would be a welcome relief.  However, I had a small problem: MY HEATER WOULD NOT CLICK ON!

 

Sunday morning my son-in-law came over, spent about five minutes on the heater and hurrah, I got heat.  Man, does it feel good to have that damp feeling removed and the house warm.  I do not want a "hot" or overly "warm" house, as I prefer it a little cooler but damp is not my idea of comfort.  Usually we set the temp at 68 for the winter and that's where it stays.  If company enters and stays and acts cold (some will flat out say, "damn girl, its like a friggin meat locker in here)--we'll crank up the heat. But as soon as they leave, its back to 68. We are not those clowns who crank the heat up and down all winter, no way.  It's really gotta be extremely cold for us to think 68 is not warm enough.

 

Oh remember me telling ya about Sensa --what? you don't remember?  Its that stuff you sprinkle on your food and you'll lose weight. Actually after a couple weeks, this stuff actually does tell your brain you are full and to stop eating.  However, in my case, it also caused me some major stomach aches and through a process of elimination (I mean, come on, tummy aches from beer is not possible) I elected to stop using it.  Now I am sending the stuff back and praying like crazy that my account is closed.  Sometimes these companies are not good about honoring your request to stop, no more, I'm done, this is it, close my account and stop asking!  Look, its really a case of this not working well with my doctor ordered meds...that's the real story.  But I did lose 4 pounds--or it could of been the case of diarrhea that caused this loss??? Laugh, that was a joke!!

 

So, this is Sunday, football games have entertained me most of the afternoon, and I'm sure there's more for this evening...yes, I am a football fan but I think my Steelers loss today---dammit!  Oh well, its early in the season and all is good.  Yes, its cold outside, windy, rainy and miserable but I did manage to get out for awhile -- not too long tho -- not exactly hiking weather.

Worms in Church

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol...Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke...Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup...Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil...Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation, What did you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, 'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service!
 

This pretty much is what our weekend forecast is supposedly gonna be like, lots of rain..ugh.  This is also the weekend I head to Buffalo and again, the weather doesn't look all that friendly.  However, rain or not I shall have a good time and between my sister and I, we shall find plenty of places to keep Clint entertained and places to run off his excess energy!

The Talking Clock

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly a voice on the other side of the wall screamed ...

"You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!"

%$&&&&&

Do ya realize that tomorrow, Friday, Sep 23rd, is the first day of Autumn?  And the leaves are starting to change and I doubt this is due to stress as was the case earlier when folks notice leaf colors.

My sis-in-law and I headed to Clayton yesterday (we attempt to do lunch every Wednesday and find different places to check out).  It was a lovely drive and we also had a mission in place, find the River Rat Cheese outlet, which we did and yes, we bought cheese!

Clayton is a quaint little village and it had been years since I had visited but off tourist season is the best, you got the streets and shops pretty much to yourself and the weather was delightful.  We hoped to sit outside at Bella's Cafe, overlooking the St. Lawrence River but it was a tad chilly, so we opted to eat inside.  Good food, good service and good prices.  Then we walked around (walked off lunch) and checked out various shops...didn't buy anything but both of us repeatedly said, "I'm coming back here." 

The weather outlook is for rain today and its a tad overcast but damn, I really want to get in a morning walk, so I'd best get off this computer and just go before the rains hit, eh?  Have a lovely day.

Simple Truths

SIMPLE TRUTH 1


Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story:
"Hard work is never appreciated”

No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

Motocross

Okay, I’m gonna admit it, straight out…I don’t know much about this sport but this much I can tell ya, I LIKE IT!  Hell I was even spelling it wrong, thinking it was "motor-cross," ya, live and learn.

My son-in-law was a serious rider for many years and then, took a ten year break but now he is back into it and man, is his little boy ever happy about that, because he’s a motorcycle fanatic.



So Sunday was my first time ever watching the races and I gotta tell ya, it was great fun. Weather was perfect and everyone was so darn nice. Now, I do know that next time I wanna bring a lawn chair. Oh the bleachers are fine but my back needs support too. Also, with that heat/sun beating down on you, one of those pop-umbrella tents would be perfect also (possible Christmas gift for sure). Food wise there was a wood-burning stone oven that was making and selling pizzas and damn, they were absolutely delicious. However, if I attended many of these (hint, hint) and had my chair, tent, water bottle, then I’d be more inclined to haul an ice chest and add some fruit and chips to the mix.



Ya as this photo indicates, it was a fun day and Dan did great and I was mighty impressed. A ten year absence and he took 2nd place overall for the day…not bad, eh?

So while the NY kids were doing their thing, the Minnesota group also had some fun this weekend as this photo indicates. Now I’m not sure if they went to get apples, pumpkins or just to sit on a hay bale in the middle of a corn field but regardless, they are smiling and happy as hell…good times.



Yes, folks, my weekend was fantastic, waking up to 41 degrees is a bit unpleasant but you know what, turn off the damn ac, open some windows and air this place out. In short order I fear the heat will be needed and as much as I would like to hold out until November, I’m not sure that’s gonna happen.

Well, the windows are open, kinda breezy but it’s gonna smell a lot fresher and later, I shall close them and hubby will never know the difference. You see, he’s not against fresh-air, per se, but he thinks opening windows means allowing humidity inside – hello, its 41 degrees, there is no humidity!!!

And so another week begins, was gonna do lunch with a friend but she had to cancel, so now I guess I gotta fix my own lunch,damn!  As the house is airing, perhaps I should run to the stores and get stuff for my upcoming trip this weekend..can Buffalo really entertain us or not?

Secrets of a long Marriage

The Italian Secret to a Long Marriage




At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda DA money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."

&&&^%(((((($#@



I just could not resist adding this photo -- it just cracks me up.  Oh come on, you damn well know you are laughing or at the very least, smiling!!

The shoes do it for me.  I told my dau, "if when I reach this age and start to even think about wearing shoes like this, shoot me!"

Yes, it has been a delightful and beautiful Saturday in upstate NY --- started out cold but as the day move along, it did warm up a bit and was perfect.  Was kinda hoping we'd hike Lampson Falls today but we hit a few garage sales and the huge Craft Fair in the village Park, which was great.

Now my dau-in-law has me really interested. Seems she got her Mom and then, she and her dau, went grocery shopping for some kind of special choc powder to make homemade hot chocolate and then, having done the shopping, she made if for her girl and they were sipping it all afternoon.  Oh the memories -- screw that, I want the recipe, don't you?

Giving Up Wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago,' the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked..

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman... I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

Yes, this is me on the NJ shore (rocks actually) a year ago -- man I'd like to go back,have another photo taken just so you could see I no longer weigh this much and after surgery this year, I dropped two pant sizes.  I am still trying to lose weight but it's a long, drawn out process.  Being skinny is not the objective --in fact, too skinny is bad also, I just want to drop another twenty pounds and then, I shall be content.  That is my goal -- drop twenty by Christmas.  No pressure, giving myself plenty of time.

So here it is Thursday,its like 52 degrees and I'm wearing shorts and wondering why in hell I am cold and better yet, why don't I get my sweatpants and socks so I can be warm? Dumb!!!  And yes, it is raining too.  The weather forecast says we're in for "cooler" weather the rest of the week -- hello, its Thursday!!!  Way too early for cold weather.

A Kiss is A Kiss

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Oh come on, you know you laughed when you read this -- too damn funny, right? BTW on my walk this morning I looked up (I do this now and then) and what to my wondering eyes should appear but geese/or ducks in that infamous V-formation.  All I could think was "this better be a practice run cause its way to early to be heading south!"  My second thought was --"these are really dumb ass geese/ducks if they are headed south this early!"

Apples, Pumpkins & Runners

Wow, it has been a busy weekend and lots of fun things to share.  First off, the header photo.  This is my grandkids in Minnesota, the girl took 10th place in her track group and the boy took 3rd in his group.  Congrats to both, well done.


Now, the US Tennis Open is over and while my guy (Nadal)did not win, it was an amazing men's final.  The women's final was unreal. Once again Serena Williams seems to believe she can say, do and act as she wants and nobody can stop her. Well, this time (as it was two years ago) she learned that was not the case.  Ya,get the rule book out and read the sucker.  However, to her credit, for the first time ever (in my book) she actually praised her opponent and said she played an amazing match.  Normally Serena does not praise anyone but herself, if she wins she's was the greatest player on the court, if she loses, anyone could have beat her on that particular day.  I mean, confidence is great but over-confidence is arrogance that just irks me. She is an amazing athletic but honey-child,you could lose a few pounds to make you LOOK like a fit athletic.

Okay, enough about them...how about an almost two year old apple picking and selecting a pumpkin? Last year, in NJ he wasn't having any part of this stuff but this year, he was truly into it.  But first, I'm borrowing a photo from his Mom on his latest achievements:

After mastering shaving on himself, he decided to help Dada and shaved him too!  Notice how patient Dada is during this entire process -- oh sure, that's a real razor...just no blade!

Apple pickin was great fun and once he got the hang of it,he was picking like crazy. Then decided to "taste" this apple, it was good, so now he preferred eating to picking.

Yup, he help select "his" pumpkin too.  Last year, in NJ I plopped him the pumpkin bin and he bawl like a banshee, he wanted no part of this pumpkin business.  What a difference a year makes...he had a blast and so did we.



Then on Monday he wasn't feeling too good, snotty nose and small cough, so he was gonna stay with Meme (his Auntie Beth figures he faked his Mama out so he could be with me) -- anyway, we had a good time.  He helped me fold clothes, then he helped me make quick bread, as the photo indicates, he was a busy boy and while he liked licking the whisk, the actual bread was A-Ok in his book too.

And that was my Monday. Today I may head into Town an drive local merchants crazy and in the process, empty my wallet as my car needs gas -- ouch!  Later on this month I shall head to Buffalo and take my grandson to see Niagara Falls too.  Oh ya, the school season has begun, folks are slowing down and kids are, well, are back in school!!!

"Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement."

THINK ABOUT IT

Okay, time to let our minds say what they are really thinking instead of wondering if our thoughts and/or opinions will offend. Well, of course thoughts are gonna offend someone, that’s a given but as long as we very clearly state this is MY opinion, or MY thought; we should be safe, right?

Now for the life of me I wonder why in hell Chaz Bono thinks America needs to see him dance? He wants to put his fat ass on Dancing With The Stars and supposedly he’s all ready lost weight just from moving his fat ass in simple dance steps! I do the Zumba dance and while I can’t say for sure I have lost any weight, I can say the stuff has moved around and my dancing –well, let’s just say, I’m having fun and as this is done in the privacy of my home, who cares what in hell I look like! I know America doesn’t want to see me dance!!!

Okay, here are the Minnesota grand kids, you know the drill, first day of school photos...they just wanted this over and anxious, yes anxious to get to school.

 Now, waiting in line to sharpen your pencil is certainly a fun way to begin the year -- are you kidding me!!!  Oh well, Ella waited patiently but she doesn't look overly thrilled.

Now these be some "smokin hot boots!"

I love all the first day back to school photos and comments. I think my granddaughter had the best line tho – when asked what she thought of her first day, what was the best part, she cheerfully replied: RECESS & GYM!!! Now that is an honest kid, right? My grandson on the other hand, said “math, it was so fun!” Gotta love’em, right?



Stop with the photos my grandson tell his mother, you're embarrassing me.  Honey, that is our job, get use to it!!!

Also on the first day of school, the village finally decided to “pave” the lower half of our street. Keep in mind, this portion had been under the “watch out I’m a hole cone” for months until someone decided it was time to fix the damn hole and then, screw it, let’s rip up the road and then, we’ll think about it and eventually pave it! So all the equipment and half the work force showed up to pave yesterday but they didn’t get the entire job done. Hell no, at 6:30 this morning I heard beep, beep, beep and saw lights flashing, they were back and with even more cars and men to finish the job. This is not an entire street mind ya, just a small section and it’s taking this much effort! And you wonder why road work is so expensive!!

So on this Wednesday, Hump Day, let your mind speak and have some laughs. You’d be surprised, even shocked, at how many folks are thinking the same damn thing!

25 Ways to Tell You're Grown Up

 But first yes, September has arrived, did ya think it would not?

It means the college kids are back, joy, joy and the school kids will soon return to class --thrill, thrill.  It also means, we need to slow down and look for kids and remember those big yellow things are called school buses, and you do not pass them and you must stop when they stop, okay?  Let's have a nice school year, okay?


You ready for this -- well, sit back and enjoy. 

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them!
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up,not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator
6. You watch the weather channel
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook-up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those &&^*^kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonald's leftovers,.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a move is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibupforen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time
22. "I just can't drink, the way I use to" replaces "I'm never gonna drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in fornt of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

How ya like my new hat?  Ya, a tad small, even I agree.  Oh come on, you wouldn't do something like this to entertain your grandchild? Get a life, have some fun, laugh at yourself and well, just laugh...

Oh just so you know, I have decided all this excessive eating must end, so I am back to doing Weight Watchers, funny how if I write down what I eat, I eat less...oh hell no, I don't attend those meetings or weigh-ins, are you nuts.  I can and do monitor myself.  Now, the goal is to drop twenty pounds by Christmas...ya, lots of luck, eh?  Sure join me, we can do this.

Have a lovely week folks.