Bright Little Girl on Airplane

LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE


A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"
And then she went back to reading her book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Had a great week with my sisters and we did things at a pace we could handle, which was slow and easy. Weather was nice but the week prior, at our great-niece's wedding, it was 101 degrees in Syracuse and man, that was one HOT wedding!

After we survived the wedding, we all headed north where it was cooler and hung out on my deck, sipping cool drinks and then, taking day trips and laughing as much as possible.  On one day trip was a visit to our parents graves in Russell. Well, every few miles we would see a sign that read, "Road Closes in 5 miles, local traffic only," but I kept driving, sure this was a mistake. But as we got closer and the marker was saying fewer miles, this ole farm dog strolls onto the road, mind you we are going slow (roads are twisty and full of potholes), the dog stops, as do we, has a itch, scratches, looks at us (we are roaring with giggles), then slowly moves off the road as if to remind us, this is his road but we can pass now.  It was pretty funny.

Later we hit a road sign and nearly lost our pants.  Egg's for sale, mayle syrup, and vegatales!  When we posted or shared the photo folks would ask, "who got the egg?"

Actually a woman in a red convertible stopped, was laughing and said to us, "you know they just corrected that sign the other day?"  We just roared -- gotta love our education system and no, this was not an Amish sign, they know how to spell!!

Singer Castle on the St Lawrence is something else. Sorry but whilst the boat ride was wonderful the tour itself was boring as hell. We much preferred Boldt Castle but once done with Singer, we just wanted off the tour boat, find a place to eat and get a cold drink.  We were one hot bunch of gals on that boat too. 

WE always take an annual sister get-together photo and we try hard to mix it up with different items. One year is was these horrible floppy hats, the next it was hoodies,this year is was homemade tote bags and fedoras -- who knows what we'll wear next year. 

So now everyone has returned to their respective homes (or are in route) and up next, for us locals is the county fair in Gouverneur then the State Fair in Syracuse.  At some point the summer will end but for now, its just delightful.  Oh and before too many days escape, I do plan to try out my kayak.  Ya, photos of that will be interesting too. 

OLD IS WHEN----"getting lucky, means you find your car in the parking lot!"

Kids Definitely Say the Darnest Things

Children Writing About the Ocean...

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6 )

2 ) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.(Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

&&&&&&&

 

Here is the Duchess of Poolbury and the hat is compliments of my grandson, who decided his hat looked better on me!!! Gotta love that kid.

 

Yes, summer has arrived and its so much fun playing in the pool with my grandson.  He likes the bigger pool but even more so if Mimi gets in with him...he doesn't give you much time to change, he wants you in the water NOW!!!

 

Hope you all are having a good summer, that you can escape the heat when its unbearable and eating lots of fresh veggies...hey, support the local farmers, buy from them not some damn grocery store!!!  Have a good one and yes, keep smiling damnit!

Sage Advice

Old Farmer's Advice from the South

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.”

“Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.”

“Don't judge folks by their relatives.

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.”

“Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.”

“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

“The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.”

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.”
“If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.”

“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”

Innocence of Childhood

'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'

Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'

'What's that mean?' asked the child.

Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'

Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'

The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

If you ain't laffin'... You ain't livin'

4th of July

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence ?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors,and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners;

men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown , Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics and baseball games.