Forgetter Be Forgotten?

My forgetter's getting better,

But my rememberer is broke

To you that may seem funny

But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering

If I really should be 'there'

And, when I try to think it through,I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,

Say 'what am I here for?'I wrack my brain, but all in vain!

A zero, is my score.At times I put something awayWhere it is safe, but, Gee!

The person it is safest from

Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,

Say 'Hi' and have a chat,

Then, when the person walks away

I ask myself, 'who was that'?

Yes, my forgetter's getting better

While my rememberer is broke,

And it's driving me plumb crazy

And that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

Cleaning Poem

My sister sent me this -- is she trying to tell me something? Well, you read it and laugh, I'm headed to Curves and as the wet, damp weather continues, I reckon planting bulbs or having one more go at the lawn is out for today. Guess that means I should consider some inside chores, ya think?

Wait! I have that lovely "pack and play" thing that I could put together -- that outta frustrate the hell outta me and who knows, with any luck I won't need more beer and the play-pen will be up and ready for my grandson who is due to arrive in December. Ya, what's the hurry!!!

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.

And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick....
I was just admiring my good work.

I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops -
I foundA real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it -
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess......
While I sit here on my hiney.

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...

Like his MOMMA used to do.

New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for boat,

That used to be right, but now it won't float!

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now for the new Alphabet:

A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,

C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;

I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow;

V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?

X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y for another year I'm left here behind,

Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!

WINTER Poem

I just had to share this poem with you and to let you know, we ain't got it so bad. My son is repeatedly reminding me that 35 below zero is flippin cold and that doesn't even take in the wind chill which is usually as high or higher than the temp -- now that my friends is cold.

Subject: It's winter in Minnesota

And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Minnesota

When the snow's up to your butt

You take a breath of winter

And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful

So I guess I'll hang around I could never leave Minnesota

I'm frozen to the ground!

And that explains "why" he lives and stays in Minnesota!!

HOW TRUE IT IS

I know you folks aren't real keen on poetry, at least not the long haired stuff, but perhaps you'll find the following entertaining or at the very least, bringing a smile to your face:

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.

I rack my brain for happy thoughts,
To put down on my pad,

But lots of things, That come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.

There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand
About 'Living in the Past'.

We used to go to friends homes,
Baseball games and lunches.

Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches
And sleep the night away.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to travel often
To places near and far.

Now we get backaches
From riding in the car.

We used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall

But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too damn old!!