Words to Live By

Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life really are....



1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.


2. You need only two tools, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.


3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right. "


4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. Crow is easier to eat while it's still warm.


6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"


7. If someone says that you're too good for him or her, believe it.


8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month?"


9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!


10. Be really nice to your friends and family. Some day, you may need them to empty your bedpan.