Enjoy

Due to the climate of excessive political correctness now pervading America :



Kentuckians, Tennesseeans, North Carolinians, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as


'HILLBILLIES.'You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a


' BREASTED AMERICAN. '



2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'



3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'



5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'



6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:




1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'



2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'



3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'



4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


(Loved this one!)


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'