Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
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