Dog Wedding

Two families united this weekend in Palm Springs, Calif., at a beautiful wedding - for their dogs. The bride, Scruffy Rubin, wore a lovely custom dress, veil and leash. The groom, Snickers Carter, wore a white tuxedo. The $5,000 affair included a live band, cake, open bar, reception and "priest" to perform the vows. The Twitter users quoted above are outraged over the price tag, but one thing to consider before you join in: The dog parents, Ernie Rubin and Ann Carter, used the event to raise money for the Orphan Pet Oasis Humane Society of the Desert in North Palm Springs.


Ya, this is for real and yes, I am laughing my head off (tried to laugh off my butt it didn't work).  Can you imagine doing this?  I mean this is taking "loving my pets" a bit too far in my book!  Gotta tell ya, my pet rock has no such desires, thank goodness!!!

Never Copy to Copy

Monastery  Life    A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.' He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.  So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing. 'We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !' His forehead is all bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?' With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... CELEB R ATE !!!

Yo Weather

Woke up Monday morning to snow -- yes snow and thought I was dreaming, so I tried to go back to sleep but each time I woke up the same scene was there, so it was real, damnit!

Not only was there snow on the ground, but it was still snowing, that kind of slushy snow that makes for slick roads and as a result, many schools were closed for the day.  Plus, many accidents as black ice claimed many drivers and in some cases, totaled cars in quick order.

However, with this goofy weather more birds showed up to pig out in my recently filled bird feeders and most surprisingly a red cardinal.  I had seen this bird at my daughter's house and while in Florida but he had yet to grace my yard with an appearance.

Nothing like a bright red spot on snow-covered ground to show off his colors. And he came off and on all day and again Tuesday morning.  Love it.


Here I am ready to venture onto the beach -- I think this was Fort Myers and that was one crowded beach -- notice the bag on the ground...that my friends was an ice chest and you know we had lemonade in it, right?

Yes, I had my suit under those baggy clothes, and although we didn't stay more than hour, I definitely got sun and continued to work on my tan.  We might had stayed later but the family beside us were just rude and the oldest son acted like he ran the family, the mother was a tad tipsy and the son declared she should not have the credit card!  WTH!

This is the bridge leading toward the Jacksonville Beach, I think.  This particular weekend the Blue Fest was taking place near the beach and trust me, parking was the bloody pits.  As we had visited the zoo first, the only one with a suit on was my niece and there was no place for us adults to change, so we splashed about in our shorts and considered that a cooling experience.

Oh one of the things us gals wanted to try was paddle surfing, I mean, come on, we were game for this however, when we checked and learned it was $175 to rental the board and paddle, plus endure a 45 minute lesson, we opted to rethink this game plan!  It's a damn surf board with a paddle and you want how much?  Get a life, Dude!!!

On the way back home, we decided to stop for breakfast -- guess where? The Pink Cadillac Diner!  This is located in Natural Bridge, Va. and its packed full of Elvis memorabilia -- now the Elvis statute that I'm standing in front of isn't the greatest rendition but hey, it was fun to pretend I was having breakfast with Elvis.

This truly is a great diner, lots to see and great service and the food was wonderful too.  If at all possible, we'll stop here again next year and take even more photos.  Love it when we find places like this --!

So its Tuesday and hopefully I can visit my sister-in-law and meet my newest great-niece today too.  Have a few goodies for them all and well, it'll be a fun visit for dang sure.

More another time -- Tuesday is starting to look good, sun is shining, wind is blowing, its still chilly but the damn snow is melting, that is a good sign.

Ole Blue

A young cowboy from Montana goes off to  college.

Half way through the semester, having foolishly

squandered all his money .... he calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education

is developing! They actually have a program here in Alabama

that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue

in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says

"and I'll get him in the course."

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester,

the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but  you

just won't believe this -- they've had such good results

they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue

in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog

can neither talk, nor read.

So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father

is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read

something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday

morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was

in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading

the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".

"Then Ole'  Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy

still messing around with that little redhead who lives

down the street?"

The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot

that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in

Washington D.C. as a Congressman.

Parrots

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided   she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." 

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said,   "New house, new madam, new girls." 

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,


"Hi Keith." 

Florida Road Trip

Here we are, ready to begin the Sisters Get-together.  Oh ya, drinks ready and smiles all around.

First off, the drive thru DC was a freaking nightmare and we'd definitely take another route going back (like avoid this at all costs).  But prior to this nightmare we had to deal with an idiot in Pa, who never saw me in the passing lane and nearly caused a horrific accident.  I am proud to say my reflexes remained intact and I was able to avoid a crash. The truck driver behind had his hands to his face because he thought this was not possible, when I did avoid the collision, he raised two-thumbs up to acknowledge that was damn good lady, damn good.

Okay, we arrive in Florida and the wonderful warmth embraced us northern gals quickly.  I would return with a wonderful tan and back to the reality of cold temps but for two+ weeks it was sunshine and cold drinks.  We did alot of things but let me share just a few items to give you a sense of what you probably should not do at our ages.  Like try to do so many things in a four-day time span.  Pick one, go and stay put --is the best advice we gave each other for next year's outing.

Here we are being kids, someone should have advised us how to turn our heads to get a better photo but hey, it was fun nonetheless.  The photo on the right as you look at this, is Pen and Jan on the snail-trail. We never saw any snails but trust me, it was like walking in a rain forest and we walked at a snail's pace.

Now we all wanted to see a Manatee, so we went on a cruise...the deal was if you don't see any, you get $20 back. Well, you know damn well we'll see one if we have to stay on this damn boat all bloody day. So, we brought a cooler with us and yes, it contained beer.

On the left is what I thought we'd see, on the right is what we actually saw..what the hell?

This was taken at the Naples Zoo, quite an interesting place but it could take lessons from either Syracuse or Jacksonville Zoos

I really like the Jacksonville Zoo and in particular the Stingray area, nothing like playing, touching and watching stingrays to make ya feel alive.  This is a wonderful Zoo but I suspect my great-niece who is now ten would prefer something a bit more upbeat. So next year,we'd best find a Water Park or something!!

Okay, I know this is pretty boring but hey, some memories are best left amongst the sisters.  We had lots of laughs and that is one good reason to hang out with each other.  

Child Birth at 65

With all the new  technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine  was able to give birth.   When she was discharged from the  hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new  baby?' I asked 'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can  visit for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked,  'May I see the new baby now?' 'No, not yet,' She  said. After another few minutes had elapsed,I asked  again, 'May I see the baby now?'  'No, not yet,' replied my  friend. Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see  the baby?' 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 'WHEN HE CRIES?'  I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 'BECAUSE I  FORGOT WHERE I PUT  HIM, O.K.?'...

 

Cat Joke

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She

picked up four cans and took them to the check out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell

you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people

buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are

buying the cat food for your cat."

 

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back

to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to

buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we

cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of

old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that

you are buying the dog food for your dog."

 

So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.

 

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little

old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The

cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

 

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that

would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and

quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells

like shit." The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three

rolls of toilet paper."

 

Don't mess with old people.

*&^((*)&*)*()*\

Well, it is getting close to departure time...oh man, am I ever ready.  Winter hasn't been all that bad, considering some we have had but this year, we got some snow (not enough to even enjoy snowshoeing, which is horrible) but instead we had lots of damn ice.

I don't know about you folks, but ice belongs in a drink not on the damn road and/or sidewalk.  I have crampons but never feel quite secure and unable to get into a steady pace;therefore, walking was a challenge I just had to do inside cause this ole lady didn't care to break her hip!  Ya, call me a wimp!!!

Anyway, tomorrow I head for Florida, well, actually Syracuse then Wednesday we load up the car and, you got it - ROAD TRIP!  Both my sister and I are so ready to get somewhere warm we really think we can wear shorts/capris and light tops for this trip (hell, we're in the car, crank up the damn heat until we hit warm weather right?).

Well spend Easter with my nephew and then, the 9th head to Tampa to collect the other sister.  Then off we go to explore various Florida sights.  I think this year its Naples, Miami and Key West.  While the fun of checking out places, riding an air boat, trying our luck with paddle surfing, flopping our fat asses on the beach and hitting the water for some snorkeling is great fun the best part is being together.  Now, when the drinks are cold, the reflections are flowing and the thing you hear over and over is:  "Was that the summer I was sent away because I don't remember any of this shit!"

Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,The second man was an Accountant,The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,"Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......

Ate the cookies........

Drank the milk.....

Sh*t on the paper.......

Screwed the other three cats........

Claimed he injured his back while doing so.

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......

Put in for Workers Compensation..................and

Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO

WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!