Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat.. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

Have a great holiday season!!

Merry Christmas

Thanks Bubba, I knew you'd have some great holiday eating tips!!!

Back to Jersey

Yup, it's Monday and around noon we shall head back to NJ but first we're gonna stop and spend an hour or so with my sister in Syracuse. This will allow everyone a chance to stretch their legs and definitely give Clint plenty of running around time.  And yes, dear Auntie is fixing us dinner too.

This has been a real relaxing weekend -- sleeping in my own bed, doing next to nothing as far as housework goes (did do laundry tho)and watching football games and not even cooking.  Plus, I got my hair done and then, spent almost an hour solo -- imagine, I went to stores all by myself -- it was amazing. Ran into some great folks, one gal and I have been facebooking for months and knew it each other from my working days (she was a teen then, now mother to three).

However, even tho I am with Clint nearly 24/7 while on the road, I missed him and had to stop over and see him for awhile too. Dada was having a blast with him and just amazed at how much he had changed and learned in three weeks. But perhaps the greatest thrill was just being with Dada and going on a hike with him. And I am sure Dada took him on a tractor ride too.

How many remember this popper toy?  Clint just giggled and loved it so Grammie bought it. Then he had to learn that he needed to push it to make the balls pop -- dragging it backwards did not work and that irked him.

We do find some neat toys in Jersey and the ones that have him use his hands and eyes are the best -- keeps him busy and enhances his motor skills big time.

And you folks think I am silly -- look at his Mommy trying to fool him with this wreath!


Okay, you all behave and have a great week, as far as I know we shall be back Friday and depart again next Sunday for our last week in Jersey. BUT we may ended up staying down there this weekend and save the drive -- its a guess at this point.


Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted!

Losing Pounds

I sit here and giggle, oh hell, I burst out in a rolling laughter. We are done with the holiday season and even before it ended we were advised how to avoid over eating and adding those extra pounds. Like any of us listened to that crap. All those goodies, are you kidding me? Once a year and we pigged out…damnit, it was made with love and for us, how rude would it be not to eat this stuff?

Now we are again being blasted to drop those pounds. Let me ask you something, if you drop something, don’t you have a natural tendency to bend over and pick it up? So don’t tell me to drop pounds because that means, eventually I’m gonna bend over and pick them up again, right?

How about “losing” these pounds? Doesn’t that make more sense? We all know if we lost something, it will be found the last place we look, right, so if we don’t look for these freakin pounds, they’ll stay lost, right? I mean, how simple is this??? Brilliant, eh? But wait; now we got some blind clothing expert telling us how to dress ten pounds thinner…are you for real?

• "Lose” five pounds by matching your pants or skirt, stockings and shoes. You’ll seem 10 pounds lighter if they’re all black! Is the one-color thing too tame for your taste? Slip on a pair of bright shoes to shake things up.
• Remember the number one secret of slim dressing: proportion. Full, round shapes on top and bottom will make you look…full and round. So always accentuate your smallest part by pairing your more generously cut pieces with a snugger mate. Balance a wide leg pants with a fitted shirt, a miniskirt with a longer top, etc.

Now, don’t ya love all those so called “famous” clowns telling us to try this program and that program, they even have before and after photographs (hey, I can manipulate a photo to make you look skinny as a twig too). Some of these claim the food (meals) will be shipped directly to your door (notice nobody has said how much these cost) and they are –ready for this – freshly frozen BUT you get to add fresh grocery items----excuse me, didn’t I just pay for a complete freakin meal?

Huh, you think I have some magic solution to all this losing stuff? Get a life people, I am right there with you, trying to lose these pounds and find that body I had when I was in my twenties, hell, I’ll even go for my 30’s or 40’s – by 50 – stuff was shifting south at an alarming rate.

Go ahead, listen to all these claims, try all the diet fads, and get pissed when none work. What you need to do is clear your mind and your thinking. First, you ain’t gonna be skinny! Got it, you ain’t gonna be skinny. Second, start walking, you want to remain mobile and walking is free – walk around your house, outside, park further from the front door of a store but WALK. Third, instead of a bag a chips, how about an apple, grapes, an orange, hell, even some celery or carrots, hey,nuts are good for ya too. Fourth, fool your eyes, use a smaller plate – hell, you won’t be tempted to put so much on it – it’s smaller, remember! And Fifth, stop obsessing about this shit, relax, enjoy life, just don’t be a hog at the dinner table and sneaking food after everyone has gone to bed ain’t smart either. Drink more water!

There -- that is my rant on pounds…don’t ya love it. Now, keep smiling and don’t get upset with me, you’re the one trying to lose those pounds…here’s some simple ideas on how to accomplish that and it didn’t cost you a red cent!!!

Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you"!

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

*********

Okay, I admit it, I still dislike bathroom scales, they do lie and while I don't wish to obsess about weight, after seeing some recent photos, I now, more than ever, am determined to drop the pounds. I mean, I dropped inches and a pants size but no actual weight, which means my muscles are moving but the pounds are staying (or something like that). So, my objective is to lose actual pounds and that means, no more screwing around with the weight watcher points. I mean, write things down, stay within your daily allotment and don't even add in the activity points unless you absolutely have to do this (like you're going out to dinner or downing a few cold ones).

Yes, I intend to continue my exercise/workout routines,those have become a habit I don't wish to break but I need to cut out the sweet snacks and stay within my daily points. Oh this can be done, its just adopting a positive attitude and a freakin determination-- I can do this.