Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you"!

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

*********

Okay, I admit it, I still dislike bathroom scales, they do lie and while I don't wish to obsess about weight, after seeing some recent photos, I now, more than ever, am determined to drop the pounds. I mean, I dropped inches and a pants size but no actual weight, which means my muscles are moving but the pounds are staying (or something like that). So, my objective is to lose actual pounds and that means, no more screwing around with the weight watcher points. I mean, write things down, stay within your daily allotment and don't even add in the activity points unless you absolutely have to do this (like you're going out to dinner or downing a few cold ones).

Yes, I intend to continue my exercise/workout routines,those have become a habit I don't wish to break but I need to cut out the sweet snacks and stay within my daily points. Oh this can be done, its just adopting a positive attitude and a freakin determination-- I can do this.