Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery.
A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.
The manager went to Bubba and said: 'Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job.'
Bubba asked: 'And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana and me being a Southern boy I should get the job!'
The manager said: 'We have made our decision not on the correct answers but rather on the one question that you both missed.'
Bubba then asked: 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?'
The manager replied: 'Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; 'I don't know.'
You put down, 'Neither do I'.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Holy E-Mail
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior going on.
He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it.
When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going...
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, I was just wondering because I didn't get one either.
He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it.
When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on earth;
95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going...
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Monday, April 26, 2010
First Place
I know, hockey season never seems to end but in Minnesota it’s a bread of life. This past weekend the “kids” had their major tournament and the Jr. Islanders, whom our Grandson plays for, took first place. Wow, this is really wonderful and the entire team deserves a big WELL DONE!
As for me, the cold is slowly leaving and while I thought I caused this cold considering I got wet loading the car and elected not to change clothes, I learned yesterday that my sister also had a sore throat and she wasn’t in that car! We now blame it on the cold Gulf water. Of course my other sister, who was in the car, blames me—you pick who brought on this damn cold.
Also today I resume my RBS duties – oh, you forgot all ready – retirement baby sitting! I did miss the little guy but the break was welcomed too. Truly had a blast with my sisters and the road trip was fun too. We realized that with each driving 4 hour stretches it worked out much nicer and neither was totally exhausted when we stopped for the night.
We stopped in Georgia at some quick food place to get something to eat and of course, stretch our legs too. Now we must have lost our hearing or forgot how to grasp southern words because taking our order was anything but simple. We could not understand the gal and she could not understand us. I guess we were supposed to know that Number One, small burger, came with fries and a drink. It does NOT say this on the sign but regardless that is how it works!
As Sissy ordered first, she paid for two drinks and two fries and I got to buy my own burger – thanks Sis. What made it worse was the burger was not that good and although hungry it was a challenge to consume this sucker…I did but she could not!!! We need to purchase a southern language book so we can avoid these challenges in the future!!!
Almost time for my grandson to arrive and I’m ready to spend the day with him too. Hey, you all have a good day and congrats to Alex and the Jr. Islanders on their first place win…WAY TO GO!!!
Also today I resume my RBS duties – oh, you forgot all ready – retirement baby sitting! I did miss the little guy but the break was welcomed too. Truly had a blast with my sisters and the road trip was fun too. We realized that with each driving 4 hour stretches it worked out much nicer and neither was totally exhausted when we stopped for the night.
We stopped in Georgia at some quick food place to get something to eat and of course, stretch our legs too. Now we must have lost our hearing or forgot how to grasp southern words because taking our order was anything but simple. We could not understand the gal and she could not understand us. I guess we were supposed to know that Number One, small burger, came with fries and a drink. It does NOT say this on the sign but regardless that is how it works!
As Sissy ordered first, she paid for two drinks and two fries and I got to buy my own burger – thanks Sis. What made it worse was the burger was not that good and although hungry it was a challenge to consume this sucker…I did but she could not!!! We need to purchase a southern language book so we can avoid these challenges in the future!!!
Almost time for my grandson to arrive and I’m ready to spend the day with him too. Hey, you all have a good day and congrats to Alex and the Jr. Islanders on their first place win…WAY TO GO!!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Racism
Everyone is in a hurry to scream ‘racism' these days!
‘In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' asked the customer.
The clerk looks at him and says, 'Are you Polish?'
The guy (clearly offended) says, ‘Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hotdog would you ask if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you? Would you?'
The clerk says, ‘Well, no!'
If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?'
‘I probably wouldn’t!’
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, ‘Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?'
The clerk replies, ‘Because you're in Home Depot.'
‘In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' asked the customer.
The clerk looks at him and says, 'Are you Polish?'
The guy (clearly offended) says, ‘Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hotdog would you ask if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you? Would you?'
The clerk says, ‘Well, no!'
If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?'
‘I probably wouldn’t!’
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, ‘Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?'
The clerk replies, ‘Because you're in Home Depot.'
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Funniest Story Ever
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check...
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive...
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive...
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Hello
It really is a challenge to post via an iphone so this will be a rather short message. Bascially just wanted you all to know that I am alive and well.
Florida was/is wonderful and the warm sun, sandy beaches, cold beer and sisters are amazing. We certainly are having a good ole time.
The "Road Trip," is more fun that either of us imagined too. We quicky discovered that we needed to switch drivers every 4 hours and that kept both fresh and alert.
Anyway, lots of fun stuff to share but after I get home...keep smiling...life is good (hey, still on this side of the dirt).
Sarasota Bay
Siesta Keys are sunset -- so pretty
Florida was/is wonderful and the warm sun, sandy beaches, cold beer and sisters are amazing. We certainly are having a good ole time.
The "Road Trip," is more fun that either of us imagined too. We quicky discovered that we needed to switch drivers every 4 hours and that kept both fresh and alert.
Anyway, lots of fun stuff to share but after I get home...keep smiling...life is good (hey, still on this side of the dirt).
Sarasota Bay
Siesta Keys are sunset -- so prettySaturday, April 3, 2010
Photos
I could not leave town and not post recent photos of my grandson....now that the weather has gotten nicer, he loves to be outside...the bright sun hurts his eyes, so we are working on that number...hey, it hurts my eyes too. Enjoy!
Football fan --yes, Steelers, Gram's fave team!
First hike, kinda chilly
Ready for the next hike, and with the right hat!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Be Good
This is gonna be one helluva of road trip and yes, it shall be fun. Oh hell, we'll survive this -- sisters can do anything, right?
So while I am away, you all just have a good time...you can always go back and read old posts if that amuses you or if I get ambitious, have access to a computer, I can update this blog while on the road...hells bells, anythng is possible these days.
By the way, for those interested, NO I am not taking my pet rock...that little witch snapped at me and is being punished!
Keep smiling and remember, we're on this side of the dirt and life is GOOD!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
OMG April 1st
No, no and furthermore NO, this is not an April's Fool's joke...I truly do plan to put on my tennis shoes and take a nice lovely walk this morning.
You see, I am still RBSing (retirement baby sitting) but I don't get the darling boy until 9:30 today so I got plenty of time to get in a nice long walk, get back and even shower before he arrives and our fun really begins.
Okay, big freaking deal, right? I know lots of jokes will be floating around today -- hope I recognize them!
I may be back later -- I can hear birds singing, maybe I'll spot a cardinal this morning, my sister tells me they are seen all over Syracuse -- of course it is mating season, so they are chirping away like crazy.
Back soon...keep smiling...
Okay, I am back and wow, was that walk just what I needed -- brisk but not too cold and guess what, cardinals are singing their little mouths off and I got photos -- wish to hell I would of had my bigger camera but hey, these aren't bad:
You see, I am still RBSing (retirement baby sitting) but I don't get the darling boy until 9:30 today so I got plenty of time to get in a nice long walk, get back and even shower before he arrives and our fun really begins.
Okay, big freaking deal, right? I know lots of jokes will be floating around today -- hope I recognize them!
I may be back later -- I can hear birds singing, maybe I'll spot a cardinal this morning, my sister tells me they are seen all over Syracuse -- of course it is mating season, so they are chirping away like crazy.
Okay, I am back and wow, was that walk just what I needed -- brisk but not too cold and guess what, cardinals are singing their little mouths off and I got photos -- wish to hell I would of had my bigger camera but hey, these aren't bad:
Okay,that was fun. Perhaps Clint and I will see more interesting stuff on our stroller hike later on today...loveing this warmer weather!
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