Canine Watcher

Look I admit it, I am not a big animal lover but neither am I an animal hater. Some animals I can take and others, well I prefer to avoid. I am allergic to cats, therefore I prefer to keep my distance but these creatures seem to find me appealing and always want to get close to me!

Yes I was a farm kid and we certainly had many animals and that was fine, I was a kid and didn’t realize you didn’t have to like them, but they were all treated with a certain decorum. Cows that deliberately got stuck in the swamp got cussed at and slapped with a stick to direct them to dry ground. “Town” folks adopted cats that seemed to multiply faster than rabbits. Yes, we had chickens and they were okay, they were penned up and collecting eggs was no big deal. A few goats but again, they bothered no one and for a time a pet raccoon of all things – oh ya, cute as hell until my mother decided this pet did not belong in the house thank you very much!

But as Bob B. would say, I digress…

This weekend I am watching my Grand dog – yes, that’s what we call him – well, no that’s not his name, his name is Moose and he’s a chocolate lab who has been spoiled rotten by his parents (aka owners). However, he is also a well behaved dog and unlike his early years, he now actually listens and minds me – thank goodness because chasing him now would mean a lot of running and Grandma doesn't run anymore (not that I ever ran like a gazelle or even a slow moving rabbit-- more like a nice low impact jog -- not overly fast but faster than a walk, okay?).

Moose likes Grandma’s place for two reasons: (1) there’s central air and when its hot, this feels damn good and (2) there’s a nice, big grassy yard to run and play in, which he enjoys thoroughly. This back yard has seen a few cats wander about and sometimes a dog. But when Moose is here, nobody hangs out or strolls through without him letting him or her know this is not a walkway for every Tom, Dick or Harry! Ya, he's in command and baby, this is one mean dude - hey, bottom line, this is his yard, get it, Moose Yard!

Anyway, yesterday was insufferably hot so when we went outside to toss the Frisbee around (yes, he has his own dog Frisbee) he nor I wanted to stay out too long and coming back inside was a welcomed relief for both of us. Of course his “parents,” in particular his mother, called twice to see how her baby was doing – he’s a dog, he is doing doggie things, duh!

This morning, early I feel this breath on my face and open my eyes and there is Moose, looking right at me and acting like I know what he needs. Okay, let me think, you usually sleep with them so you want in the bed, right? Nope, that wasn’t it – that would be okay but not what he wants. Oh, you gotta pee and I need to get up and let you out, right? Bingo! However, this isn’t his normal yard, so I need to accompany him and hope like hell he doesn’t run off.

A ten second mental debate is happening inside my head and it goes something like this: its 6:30 and this dog has to pee and you’re worried about your hair? Are you friggin nuts? Get your fat ass out of this bed, let this dog out or your gonna be cleaning up dog piss! Like I said, ten seconds and I was up and Moose and I were outside. He was watering the yard and I was just standing there looking beautiful in my bed hair do, Pj’s and garden clogs. Yup it was a lovely sight and if nothing else it gave the paper guy(s) something to talk about as they delivered the rest of the Sunday papers.

All in all, canine watching is way over rated, it’s not that difficult but that’s because Moose has been so well trained that watching him is nothing. Actually its more a case of him watching Grandma! Together we watch TV, he doesn’t seem overly willing to sit and have me read to him so TV works for us.

And now to make the day complete some Fortune cookie sayings: (hey, pick the one you like)

True happiness makes us wise.

Look in the mirror without admiring your reflection.

Be at peace with yourself