OXYMORONS - DUH

I don't know about you folks but I have actually seen this sign and wondered "What the hell?" Did I stop or did I keep moving -- I'd tell ya, but then I'd have to --well, you know the rest, right?


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? [that does make sense, doesn't it?]
10. Why are they called “stands" when they are made for sitting? LOL
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and”wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
29. Why is toilet paper tiny squares and tissues big squares ?

See and you thought it was gonna be the same-o-same shit, didn't ya? Now ya got something else to talk about and share -- lovely.

Hey, another day in the 80s or so they claim, get out there and enjoy it -- your body needs some vitamin D and sunshine is good for ya -- not direct or laying out there burning without sunscreen but just being outside -- ya, you get it, don't give me a hard time.

So are you enjoying all the "out of business sales?" Giant Tiger is down to 75% off -what in hell is left I wonder? And Hackett's -- holy sheet -- they gotta drop a bunch to make it worthwhile -- they were high to begin with so dropping is a must, right?

Have a good day and keep smiling!!!