Maxine on Winter

Sometimes it’s just necessary to sit back and read someone else’s take on winter and in the process, surprisingly, you sense they were inside your head and ask; “how the hell did they know that?” So here are a few thoughts from Maxine on winter:

• I’m so cold my boobs are chattering


• You know it’s a cold day when your teeth start chattering and they’re still on the night stand.


• It’s not really cold out until the dog’s frozen himself to the fire hydrant.


• I was caught without earmuffs during a sudden cold snap but managed to improvise with an old padded bra.


• I envy the rear-defrost system in my car (I really like this one).


• My idea of a triple is pullin three muscles at once!


• I’d shovel my walk except for one reason. Visitors might come.


• I don’t really wanna know what that is frozen into guy’s mustaches this time of year.

Here’s a helpful winter tip: if you leave a tortilla out for a week, you’ve got yourself a handy little ice scraper.

Now if you can stand it, here’s my calendar’s quote for January – “When we become wise our lives are lived from our hearts.” Ya, I’m puking, how about you? Guess that means we ain’t so wise, eh?