Rules of the Clothesline

You have to be a certain age to appreciate this. I can hear my mother now ...

My mother would have loved this! Do you remember? Be sure to read to the end...the poem is so true.

THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: (if you don't know what clotheslines are, better skip this)

1. You had to wash the clothesline before hanging any clothes - walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail!. What would the neighbours think?

4 . Wash day on a Monday! . .. . Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

6. It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather ... clothes would "freeze-dry."

7. Always gather the clothespins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky!"

8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes off the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?! Well, that's a whole other subject!

A POEM

A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by,
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"
And towels upon the line;
You'd see the "company table cloths"
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby's birth
From folks who lived inside -
As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, "Gone on vacation now"
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way .. .. .

But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life.
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line.

Environment 1955 vs 2011

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."


That's right, they didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But they didn't have the green thing back her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks. But she's right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts.... "wind and solar power" really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right, they didn't have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But they didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But that old lady is right. They didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Pass this on if you remember those recycling days!

Comments Made in 1957

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $5000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon.Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more.Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas ."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Old Timer Sex

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.

'Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

It is what it is the Weather

Yes, the rain continues to bless us with its constant showers. That would be fine but the dampness and lower temps provides a chill that sinks right into my bones and wham, that stuff aches and makes me realize; "time to turn the heat on." Damn!

Two days ago I was in the garage looking for something and there's this one box that I constantly move, shove or set aside thinking its stuff my husband put out there and one day will do something with it. But for some reason I decided to look in this box -- WOW!

It contain slides, some in slide trays but mostly loose and they were slides my mother had for years. In some cases I never saw some of them, in other cases, it has been many, many years. So I begin scanning these slides, enjoying them and realized two things: (1) I really needed to sort them and place them in some organized folder, like by sibling name and (2) the slides needed to be cleaned -- what a miserable task but necessary.

Now I am anxious to get into my storage shed and haul in the many boxes of slides I have kept for years and view them too. Not just view but scan and eventually put on a CD disk -- or make a cute DVD movie for my kids. It shall be my winter project -- how fun is this gonna be? Tell ya what, after seeing photos of me when I was a young woman, I have to admit, I wasn't as unattractive as I thought. Oh come on, we all felt like this when we were kids,unless you were a practicing Diva!!!

So it is Sunday and with any luck there will be decent football games and you know what the means, my butt is glued to the TV set -- I do like my football games. Not sure which I enjoy more tennis or football --- oh wait, tennis is first -- that is my all time fave sport. Why? Well, I use to play tennis (still do if I can find someone to play with me) and I never did play football.

You all have a wonderful day and keep smiling, ya hear?

Aggressive Birds

Ya, I know, why in hell do we buy bird seed this time of year? Well, we like to spoil our feathered friends and we also want to keep them coming to your back yard, so we feed them. See, that was simple!

Having said that let me quickly add I do NOT feed that as much or as often as I do when the cold weather is here and finding food (any food) is difficult. BUT, you just knew there was gonna be a “but” didn’t you?

It seems some of these bloody birds are just not greedy but damn aggressive too. In this case those damn Grackles and why I capitalized the first letter is beyond me because I do not find these creatures all that appealing and in fact, annoying and bloody damn hogs! Plus in their quest to insure they get more than their fair share of the food in the feeders, they pounce on them and it’s like the “how many can be fit into the telephone booth” number and eventually, the poor feeder just flat out collapses and breaks!

Okay, some breakage can be “possible” wind damage as we have had some pretty high winds but come on; these grackles are almost like crows who resemble small turkeys so there is a weight issue here! And as they are possessive, greedy, aggressive and mean, the poor little golden finches (whom I call peeks) can hardly get any food. This is one good reason to hang those sock-like feeders for them. Even the grackles can’t get into these because it does mean hanging on and they can’t – stupid grackles!!!

Yes, it’s Friday, almost every business or office is closed today and most folks are enjoying a 3-day weekend – hurrah! Every village is offering something and I happen to think Norwood is stopping all that chatter about “when I was a kid, we did this and had that,” etc. They have spent countless hours developing a very good 4th of July celebration, starting tonight on the Village Green with the annual Block Dance. Tomorrow a huge parade, over 15 floats, various marching bands, fire departments, youth and church groups and so on. Then over to the firemen’s field for more fun, games, oxen-driven carts for kid rides, etc. So, come to Norwood and have some fun and hey, behave responsibly. One request, pick up after yourself – don’t ask volunteers to “police” the area because you are too damn lazy to put your trash in a trash can, or put your cans in a recycle bin…let’s be a bit grown up here, okay? Thank you!

Well, it hasn’t started to rain too much yet and today I have decided to grill with the charcoal grill, food just seems to taste better. So I am heading outside to fire that sucker up and in the process, grabbing a beer to sip as I wait for the proper temp. Hey, you all have a great day and let’s truly celebrate our Independence tomorrow…oh, you might want to stop and give a silent pray of thanks to those men and women who allow us to maintain and enjoy this independence and freedoms today too…what a novel concept!!!

P.S.: I’m thinking paint gun to keep these Grackles in line, whatcha think???

Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Loneliness! And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!

Nostalgia

How's This For Nostalgia?

All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?



It took three minutes for the TV to warm up?
Nobody owned a purebred dog?
When a quarter was a decent allowance?
You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?
Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box? This might be the 1930s?It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . And they did it!
When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends?and saying things like, 'That cloud looks like a... '?
Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?

And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today.
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
But we survived because their love was greater than the threat. . .as well as summers filled with bike rides, Hula Hoops, and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar. Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, 'Yeah, I remember that'?

How Many Of These Do You Remember?
Candy cigarettesWax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes.
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.Newsreels before the movie.
Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Yukon 2-601). Party lines.
Peashooters.
Howdy Dowdy.Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.78 RPM records!
Green Stamps.
Mimeograph paper.
The Fort Apache Play Set.

Do You Remember a Time When..Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, 'Do Over!'?
'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
Catching The Fireflies Could Happily Occupy An Entire Evening?
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best Friends'?
Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
'Oly-oly-oxen-free' made perfect sense?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange - flavored chewable aspirin?

If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived!!!!!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their 'Grown-Up' Life . .

I Double-Dog-Dare-Ya!

OLDER THAN DIRT

Someone asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”

We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up, I informed him. All the food was slow.

“C’mon, seriously, where did you eat,” he asked?

It was a place called “at home,” I explained. Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.

By this time the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was gonna suffer some serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

• Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

• My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighted probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

• We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 5. It was of course black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it cam back on the air about 6am. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

• I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza; it was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slide off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

• We didn’t have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.

• I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

• Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was!

• All newspapers were delivered by boys, and all boys delivered newspapers – my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6am every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

• Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were not movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Next installment will be “how many remember…...” See, you got something to look forward too now…great!!!

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANYMORE

This should give you pause to reflect and even smile a bit...sure was fun going down this ole road. Hope you enjoy it too.

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today.

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all day barefooted. [I would guess this was said during the summer months or we got some really dumb kids]

Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don't you go outside with your school clothes on! [you just knew I would ask this, what go out naked instead?]

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. [are these guys still around - ye gads]

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.


There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town. [definitely said many,many years ago]

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.

Don't sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on after awhile.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

Don't turn the radio on now; I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those turnips; they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house.

Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up. [this explains why my early school pictures showed me with such lovely hair cuts]

Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't get infected. [holy sheet, they actually said and did this?]

When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

It's: 'Yes Ma'am!' and 'No Ma'am!' to me, young man, and don't you forget it!

Y'all come back now, ya hear!!

Bring back any memories??? Sure did for me!!!

&&&&&&&&

Now for your brain exercise tip:

Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

Remember When

Here's an example of the good ole wood splitter, nothing fancy, but it got the job done. Today you pay a pretty price for a "pretty" log splitter! Go figure!

Okay, even I have had enuff of the white stuff aka snow! I mean, I like winter and yes, snow is needed for the things I like to do like skiing, snow shoeing or even making a snowman but this constant snowing is getting damn old! One hardly has time to “clear” a path before another storm hits. Not exactly a storm but more white stuff falls…holy sheet!

Anyway, after a while you realize the TV shows are repeats or repeats, the books have been read so many times you can actually quote the pages and going outside becomes a bit boring too. I mean, yes its fun to get out there and do whatever, but it’s also cold, wet and you keep bundling up to insure you don’t catch a cold or whatever “bug” manages to buzz about this time of year.

So we find other things to occupy our minds and suck up the days. Napping only works for so long and then, well, our minds need to be awakened and used or we’ll go completely nuts. So, what else do we have – oh ya, those damn “catalogs” and “discount” magazines that usually have the same stuff month after month.

I gotta tell ya, if my folks were alive they’d love the recent stuff folks are selling. Ready for this---dig out those ole faucet handles, paint’em up and then hang’em up and have these colorful hooks to hold whatever you want aka, garden tools, coats, school bags, etc. Who’d of thunk!

As kids we had “hooks” for our winter coats and mittens, hooks---make that NAILS! Hey, they worked just fine and nobody seemed to mind and you know why, because that is what most folks used, we didn’t have fancy hooks and a nail worked just dandy! Hell it we’d been a little bit smarter, we could have painted those nails and had us a real fancy hook for coats! [ya, then we could of fought over them too]

How about the fancy, colorful and somewhat costly compost/trash cans for the kitchen. You know, something to put scraps in and then, supposedly use in your garden in the spring[or if on a farm, scraps to feed to the pigs and/or chickens].Hell, we used empty milk containers [plastic and cardboard, not glass] and they worked just fine. And we also used these same containers to freeze water so we could use them to cool down drinks in the ice chest when we packed stuff up to head out for a day of fishing, a picnic, hell even took drinks to the drive in movies -- you remember those days, right? And you probably remember "sneaking" many friends in the trunk of you car too, right? I wonder, did management know we did this and said damn little or were they totally dumb to this concept? Ya, some of us got caught but for the most part, you could sneak in quite a few people if they kept their mouths shut as you went through the pay area.

So here’s your assignment, sit there and think of the things you have around your house and think back to your childhood and remember what you “use to” have and use. Hey, it’s a fun little trip and you’ll find yourself smiling and laughing as you realize your parents weren’t so out of step as you once thought!

What the hell else ya got to do -- oh shovel the driveway again or perhaps the deck! Well, do whatever floats your boat...memory lane is a fun, inexpensive and less taxing exercise! You could shock yourself into realizing you are now buying stuff, you once used for free and never thought twice about it!

YA DONE GOOD!

Oh this time of year you’re liable to hear anything and some of it just conjures up good ole memories.

I never understood why Christmas lights were put away all tangled up when Mother was adamant that each decoration had to be wrapped carefully and packed away gently. Yet the lights, hell, they kind of got tossed into a box and forgotten.

Now in our family, you had to put the lights on before any other decorations…that were a firm rule and nobody ever tried to change it – it made perfect sense. But first you had to untangle miles of light cords and attempt to lay them out in a straight line – with seven kids straight was a punishment not a line aka “I’ll straighten you out, young man, get your butt in here NOW.”

But somehow we got the idea that we had to check the lights to insure each bulb would work and if one was burned out, replace it now because it was easier to find off the tree than on the tree, duh! This particular year, we managed to get the lights all set out and after a bit of a hunt, found an extension cord, plugged everything in and damn, not one bulb was burned out. We were utterly shocked and I think we did the “no bulb burned out dance.”

Now the lights could be put on the tree and again, there was a particular order in which they had to go and only certain kids were allowed to perform this part of the tree decorating. But you had to watch nonetheless – watch and learn was the process or so they told us. We would also learn some new words and ascertain that some remarks were physically impossible to perform (I’m gonna put your head up your butt and then make you sing O Christmas Tree).

Once the lights were on, then everyone was permitted to help put on other decorations under the direction of General Mom. She had a certain order or place for each one and heaven forbid you change that placement – that would throw the entire scheme off and that, my friends was not allowed. You see Mother kept every damn decoration we ever made and lemme tell ya, some of them were damn ugly and done just to appease a Sunday school teacher or school teacher.
Finally everything was done and now we could plug in the lights and see everything in living color. Holy sheet, what happened, no lights – there are no flippin lights lighting. Now the light- placers are quickly checking to insure they connect each strand, knocking other decorations aside and getting yelled at but eventually they declare everything is secure. Secure? Then why aren’t the lights on Einstein?

Unbeknown to us Dad had been watching this performance for sometime and never said one word. As the volume of disgust rose and accusations became almost violent Dad uttered one word QUIET! And that room became very quiet and I do mean quiet. You could literally hear each other breathing.

Dad merely squatted down, grabbed the extension cord, plugged in the light plug and all of a sudden we had lights on the tree. In our haste to look important, nobody checked to see that the lights had never been attached to the extension cord aka power! Now Dad got to utter his favorite phrase “YA, DONE GOOD!” This phrase was used whenever we finally did anything a moron could do correctly!

And in case you wondered, we still toss the lights into a box and go thru this process every damn year. Well, some of us, not me, I went for a fiber optic tree so I don't mess with those flippin lights anymore! See I did learn!!!

THE YEAR 1908

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1908. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :

************ ********* ********* ******

The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used
Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza

2. Tuberculosis

3. Diarrhea

4. Heart disease

5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter
at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said,
'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,
regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking?)
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.!

Now I posted this from someone else without typing it myself, and sent it to you and others all over Canada & U.S.A. and possibly the world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!

Hump Day

Well, once again the temp is in the 40’s and I’m having a little debate on what to wear on my morning walk. Yesterday I donned a sweatshirt as it was 40 degrees and to be honest, found it a tad too warm and wished I’d stuck with my normal T-shirt. Now it’s closing in on 50 degrees and I’m thinking T-shirt – forget that sweatshirt business.

I was bad this week, no weight loss but hey, no gain either so that is good, right? I knew I was blowing it – had a few beers, had a whopper with fries (twice), had ice cream which I rarely eat but seemed to want this past week for some stupid reason and well, shit, I just blew it; it’s that plain and that simple! Oh well, one is allowed this option too. What is good is that while I did not lose any weight this past week, I did not gain, so I consider that a good stead! Come on, did you honestly think I was gonna lose 3 pounds every flippin week – not in this life time or on this planet!

Today on my walk I took my camera – now this is a bit awkward and tends to mess up my arm swing, but at the same time, I wanted to get some photos around town. Why? Well, I have friends who haven’t been here in years and would like to see what the ole town looks like and of course, see all the changes since we were kids. Imagine their surprise when they learn the Norwood Bakery is no longer here – that fire ended a landmark we all loved and enjoyed for years!

Some folks left here when we still had a movie theater and bowling alley, man, that’s been gone a long time, right? Yes, changes happens and while it is seen as progress and at times this is certainly true, many times change just doesn’t seem all that different or necessary. All it did was disrupt lives and cause stress but the same-ole-same crap is still here. Ya, life is full of these so called changes and then, once done, a few years pass and they say; “we never should have done that, it wasn’t necessary, I miss the ole stuff.”

I was gonna (and earlier did have) a photo slide show but realized this was not working properly. In fact, it was probably driving you nuts as well;therefore I dumped it and now, well, you'll just have to take my word, yes I have recent photos of downtown Norwood!
This is Route 56 or the Norwood Hill headed toward Potsdam. Ever "hike" up this baby? Lemme tell ya, that's a lovely workout -- your thighs will burn for hours!

Hey, if you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

Phones Then & Now

Maybe some of you are under the impression that remembering the ole rotary phone; ya party line --somehow indicates you are OLD. Well, forget it, many folks remember those days and they are not old. Funny how we determine what makes someone old but usually this means retirement age at the very least, which is 55 or older!

Anyway, the old rotary phone was one ugly thing and had a relatively short cord, which kind of restricted how far you could move while on the phone. In some cases, a longer cord was purchased but it still did not make you mobile – you were "attached" to the phone. The rotary dial was how you dialed a number and it usually was referred by a prefix; i.e. EV4—then the number. And best of all you shared the line with 3 or 4 other people, hence the term “party line.”

So if you wanted to use the phone, you picked up the receiver and listened, if no one was on the line, you could dial the number and then talk to your party. If someone was on the line, you had to wait. Now it wasn’t uncommon to “listen” to other people’s conversations – hell, that was standard fare, whether admitted or not!

Party line users had this understanding or agreement that if someone really need to use the phone, they could declare an emergency or say they need to make an important call, could you please get off the line. And most folks did without much hesitation. That didn’t mean they didn’t listen to see what your emergency or important call entailed and lordy, if you considered it important to call someone to get a recipe or learn what happen on the weekly soap opera they were pissed and very unforgiving and if you tried this again and that infamous cry wolf number was implemented immediately!

In many ways party lines were fun, and in some cases, damn educational and informative. Sadly not all information was valid but gossip was always interesting and regardless of age, sex or financial status…gossip was gossip! Teenagers discussed boys/girls, kissing, clothes, hair dos and dances, while adults usually talk about some girl being a tramp, pregnant, unwed, whore or some husband was a drunken brute. Or some wife who was frigid or some mother who never took care of her kids. And then you’d listen to the holier-than-thou folks who preached the gospel and quoted the Bible to defend their position.[ These ladies were really sick puppies who had no life other than making yours miserable....I suspect they are burning in hell for all their bad deeds!]

Eventually technology advanced and folks had their own line and party lines were gone – I don’t think any of us minded – in fact, we most likely felt free at last and not subject to having the entire town know our business. Privacy was dear then too but party lines made that awkward. And the phone itself got nicer, we had wall phones now and you could have more than one, which was nice. And eventually cordless phones became the status symbol and you could walk outside and chat. As a mobile society this was fantastic.

Today we are inundated with cell phones – all kinds of cell phones, from the high tech to the simple, easy to use. Hell, you can even set ring tones to identify your callers! How would you like to know that Amazing Grace was your call song? Perhaps the coolest thing about cell phones was the ability to send text messages and this evolved into a whole new way of writing - U R great, OMG, LOL, etc. However, kids abused this feature and soon many schools prohibited cell phones as kids were texting test questions to their friends...and/or send some ugly messages about other students. Peer pressure is bad enough but test messages are mean and dangerous!


And to make things worse, folks are walking around with a cell phone hanging from their ear, held up to their ear and chatting away as they grocery shop, use the bathroom, stand in some check out line or while they eat. It’s like a bloody lifeline and they can’t function without chatting with other people -- hello, this is not necessary!

Now I find all this usage annoying and stupid – sorry, anybody who has to "reach out and talk to someone 24/7 has much bigger problems and needs some serious help! I'm not a fan of cell phone driving either -- you wanna chat, pull over and that includes the so called hands free calling as well. Sorry, you need to pay attention to the road, not chatting with friends, mates or some sales person.

I personally think the only way we can stop this is to up the fine. Make it really hit the wallet if caught and this will cease damn fast. Now later this month I shall attend the New York State Fair -- this is always a fun outing. But I will have to endure the constant cell phones around me, yakking during concerts and this need to stay connected like without this you cannot breathe!

Even hikers tend to use cell phones and get upset when they can’t get a signal to let someone know they are having a grand time in the great outdoors and enjoying the sounds of nature. What sounds? Blabbing on a phone is not a nature sound!

Enjoy your phones, they do have purpose and a definite use but also realize that sometimes it is okay to turn them off and enjoy the silence. Silence is golden after all!

Sit down and give your mind a rest!