Ponder this

You can always count on Maxine to put things into perspective

I bought a bird feeder. I hung
It on my back porch and filled
It with seed. What a beauty of
A bird feeder it was, as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a
Week we had hundreds of birds

Taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
Easily accessible food.
But then the birds started
Building nests in the boards
Of the patio, above the table,
And next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was
Everywhere: on the patio tile,
The chairs, the table ..
Everywhere!

Then some of the birds
Turned mean. They would
Dive bomb me and try to
Peck me even though I had
Fed them out of my own
Pocket.

And others birds were
Boisterous and loud. They
Sat on the feeder and
Squawked and screamed at
All hours of the day and night
And demanded that I fill it
When it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even
Sit on my own back porch
Anymore. So I took down the
Bird feeder and in three days
The birds were gone. I cleaned
Up their mess and took down
The many nests they had built
All over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like
It used to be .... Quiet, serene....
And no one demanding their
Rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.
Our government gives out
Free food, subsidized housing,
Free medical care and free
Education, and allows anyone
Born here to be an automatic
Citizen.

Then the illegal's came by the
Tens of thousands. Suddenly
Our taxes went up to pay for
Free services; small apartments
Are housing 5 families; you
Have to wait 6 hours to be seen
By an emergency room doctor;
Your child's second grade class is
Behind other schools because
Over half the class doesn't speak
English.

Corn Flakes now come in a
Bilingual box; I have to
'press one ' to hear my bank
Talk to me in English, and
People waving flags other
Than 'Old Glory' are
Squawking and screaming
In the streets, demanding
More rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government
To take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not,
Just continue cleaning up the poop

Investment Strategy

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.
And as a bonus...
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!
 

&&&&&&&

 

Yes, of course the damp weather continues -- now listen, when we do get dry weather and warmer temps, the first one to bitch is gonna get beaten badly, so keep your mouth shut!!!

However, with all this rain, the birds continue to sing and yesterday, in honor of my grandson spending the day with me (well, it just worked out this way) the hummingbirds returned and I was able to get some really cool photos.  Today, they are back and I am hoping to get some videos...ya, wish me luck.

http://youtu.be/4vV2OoT8sYg

Ya, try this link for the video -- who knows, it might actually work.

Woodpeckers

A few weeks ago, I looked out and had five – 5- blue jays on my deck and thought, “Wow, must be convention!” Now, I know not everyone likes blue jays, they are pigs and smaller birds really do have to wait or fight to get to the food box but hey, survival is survival, right? I have plenty of bird feeders and although this time of year doesn’t really require much food in them, I still fill'em up to keep the birds coming to my place…ya, bite me!!!



However, lately I have found myself with “woodpeckers,” and I mean, lots of woodpeckers. Ok, I do have a tree dying in my back yard and that bark is real nice fodder for them but how the hell do they find the tree in the first place. And to gather in my yard, on my deck and eat from my bird feeders is just flat out a sight to watch.



Now the pileated woodpeckers (which seem to be the ones here) are the largest of the common woodpeckers found in most of North America (ya I know you are interested in these facts). Here are some more facts:



• Most woodpeckers have four toes. Two face forward and two face backward. This arrangement is called “zygodactyl.”


• Their short legs and sharp nails make it easier for them to cling to bark.


• A pair of stiff, centrally located tall feathers, allow the bird to “tripod” itself on trees. This facilitates a solid platform from which the woodpecker can strike the tree with its beak. These important feathers are not molted until their replacements have fully grown in.


• A straight, chisel-like bill is used to excavate holes in trees for nesting and roosting. It is also used for foraging insects, insect eggs and larva.


• Woodpeckers lay 2-8 white eggs. Both parents aid in incubation. The young are born blind and naked.


• All woodpeckers have a characteristic wing-beat pattern while flying: 3 flaps and glide, 3 flaps and glide….(ya, you’re gonna watch now, aren’t you?)



You know that woodpecker hammering you hear now and then? Actually it can be heard from a great distance to the actual bird and they also use it to attract mates and to announce the boundaries of their territories. Pairs establish territories and live on them all year long. So if I leave this tree up, I’m gonna have woodpeckers all year, eh? Sorry, drummer-heads but the tree is coming down…dead tree is not good and leaving it could result in it eventually falling and causing some damage…not a good idea.



Now you have insight into woodpeckers and you thought this was gonna be a silly day!!!



I’m O.C.D.---old, cranky & demented.

Saturday's weather ain't looking so good, its currently 63 degrees but its also -- you know what I'm gonna say --raining!  I was really hoping it would be dry today and I could mow the yard but hey, this continues much longer and I'll need a farmer to come by with a real mower -- hell, might even have enuff to bale too.

Birds & Updates

Oh come on, it’s been a while since I bored you with my bird watching. Well, now it’s taking on a whole new twist and I almost feel like a stalker!!!


My son sent me this lovely bird house, a first for me, and I tried various locations on where to put this house. I was advised to place it near or have the bird feeder nearby and eventually birds would come and use it. Well, I wanted it close to the deck so I could see them but that wasn’t working out as nicely as I wished, so I moved it back to the tree line. Hell, I have binoculars; I can still “watch” the house. Ya, waiting for “wrenters.”






To coax them, I tossed in some bird seed, some dried grass and even a couple twigs, what the hell, a starter home should have a few items right? Then I noticed I did indeed have wrenters and I was quite a happy camper. However, a big ole wind came up one night and when I looked out I could not see the bird house…what the hell?


So I hike to the tree line and discovered it had been blown off the branch and I needed to re-secure it and this time, I was gonna make damn sure it would not blow off again – unless we got a tornado (of course, in due course we would be under tornado watches – just my luck). That is when I noticed how ambitious these birds are – talk about twigs, they had so many in this tiny house I wasn’t sure how in hell they fit there. My sister, upon hearing this story immediately inquired; “you didn’t rearrange the twigs did you?” Hell, just straighten stuff up, added a desk, chair and tiny TV set – hey, let’s make’em comfy!! You do know I am joking, right?

Now the house is secured to the branch, have a feeder close by and once again, the wrenters are back inside and in due time I suspect eggs will be laid and hatched and young birds squawking their bloody beaks off. Oh the joys of a bird wrenter and all because my son decided bird feeders were fine but a bird house, now that is what she truly needs. Maybe he’s thinking; “let her see how things are for birds and when it is time, we can put her in a tiny room, too!"

Once again, a wet Thursday – hells bells, I am sick of this damp weather. It was half way nice yesterday, managed to get a few outside chores done but never did get the yard completely mowed. Did the trimming and pushed the mower in those areas a riding mower can’t reach and cleaned up the tulip flower bed –now to add more seeds or plants so it doesn’t look so barren. Hey, I’m with you, we could use a couple dry days and some warmer temps. Pretty damn sad when you hear folks say they fired up the wood stove or had to turn the heat on because the temps were in the low 40s and the damp air was making everything cold. And this is June!!!

BTW how many of you remember speeches made at either high school or college graduation commencement?  Me neither so why have the suckers?  It's always the same crap, "follow your dreams, dream big, forget dreams, follow your heart," and so on. Bottom line, what we should be telling these kids is: "look, don't even think you're gonna have a starting salary at sevent-thousand, get over yourself.  And you know what,get off your lazy asses and get outside and realize there's a world out here and maybe, just maybe you'll come up with a business that makes sense and works."

To all the grads, congrats, I wish you a wonderful future, truly I do and if nothing else, keep a positive attitude and keep smiling.  And, by the way, pay off that college loan, okay---someone else needs those funds now!!!  Thanks

Aggressive Birds

Ya, I know, why in hell do we buy bird seed this time of year? Well, we like to spoil our feathered friends and we also want to keep them coming to your back yard, so we feed them. See, that was simple!

Having said that let me quickly add I do NOT feed that as much or as often as I do when the cold weather is here and finding food (any food) is difficult. BUT, you just knew there was gonna be a “but” didn’t you?

It seems some of these bloody birds are just not greedy but damn aggressive too. In this case those damn Grackles and why I capitalized the first letter is beyond me because I do not find these creatures all that appealing and in fact, annoying and bloody damn hogs! Plus in their quest to insure they get more than their fair share of the food in the feeders, they pounce on them and it’s like the “how many can be fit into the telephone booth” number and eventually, the poor feeder just flat out collapses and breaks!

Okay, some breakage can be “possible” wind damage as we have had some pretty high winds but come on; these grackles are almost like crows who resemble small turkeys so there is a weight issue here! And as they are possessive, greedy, aggressive and mean, the poor little golden finches (whom I call peeks) can hardly get any food. This is one good reason to hang those sock-like feeders for them. Even the grackles can’t get into these because it does mean hanging on and they can’t – stupid grackles!!!

Yes, it’s Friday, almost every business or office is closed today and most folks are enjoying a 3-day weekend – hurrah! Every village is offering something and I happen to think Norwood is stopping all that chatter about “when I was a kid, we did this and had that,” etc. They have spent countless hours developing a very good 4th of July celebration, starting tonight on the Village Green with the annual Block Dance. Tomorrow a huge parade, over 15 floats, various marching bands, fire departments, youth and church groups and so on. Then over to the firemen’s field for more fun, games, oxen-driven carts for kid rides, etc. So, come to Norwood and have some fun and hey, behave responsibly. One request, pick up after yourself – don’t ask volunteers to “police” the area because you are too damn lazy to put your trash in a trash can, or put your cans in a recycle bin…let’s be a bit grown up here, okay? Thank you!

Well, it hasn’t started to rain too much yet and today I have decided to grill with the charcoal grill, food just seems to taste better. So I am heading outside to fire that sucker up and in the process, grabbing a beer to sip as I wait for the proper temp. Hey, you all have a great day and let’s truly celebrate our Independence tomorrow…oh, you might want to stop and give a silent pray of thanks to those men and women who allow us to maintain and enjoy this independence and freedoms today too…what a novel concept!!!

P.S.: I’m thinking paint gun to keep these Grackles in line, whatcha think???

Aggressive Birds

Ya, I know, why in hell do we buy bird seed this time of year? Well, we like to spoil our feathered friends and we also want to keep them coming to your back yard, so we feed them. See, that was simple!

Having said that let me quickly add I do NOT feed that as much or as often as I do when the cold weather is here and finding food (any food) is difficult. BUT, you just knew there was gonna be a “but” didn’t you?

It seems some of these bloody birds are just not greedy but damn aggressive too. In this case those damn Grackles and why I capitalized the first letter is beyond me because I do not find these creatures all that appealing and in fact, annoying and bloody damn hogs! Plus in their quest to insure they get more than their fair share of the food in the feeders, they pounce on them and it’s like the “how many can be fit into the telephone booth” number and eventually, the poor feeder just flat out collapses and breaks!

Okay, some breakage can be “possible” wind damage as we have had some pretty high winds but come on; these grackles are almost like crows who resemble small turkeys so there is a weight issue here! And as they are possessive, greedy, aggressive and mean, the poor little golden finches (whom I call peeps) can hardly get any food. This is one good reason to hang those sock-like feeders for them. Even the grackles can’t get into these because it does mean hanging on and they can’t – stupid grackles!!!

Yes, it’s Friday, almost every business or office is closed today and most folks are enjoying a 3-day weekend – hurrah! Every village is offering something and I happen to think Norwood is stopping all that chatter about “when I was a kid, we did this and had that,” etc. They have spent countless hours developing a very good 4th of July celebration, starting tonight on the Village Green with the annual Block Dance. Tomorrow a huge parade, over 15 floats, various marching bands, fire departments, youth and church groups and so on. Then over to the firemen’s field for more fun, games, oxen-driven carts for kid rides, etc. So, come to Norwood and have some fun and hey, behave responsibly. One request, pick up after yourself – don’t ask volunteers to “police” the area because you are too damn lazy to put your trash in a trash can, or put your cans in a recycle bin…let’s be a bit grown up here, okay? Thank you!

Well, it hasn’t started to rain too much yet and today I have decided to grill with the charcoal grill, food just seems to taste better. So I am heading outside to fire that sucker up and in the process, grabbing a beer to sip as I wait for the proper temp. Hey, you all have a great day and let’s truly celebrate our Independence tomorrow…oh, you might want to stop and give a silent pray of thanks to those men and women who allow us to maintain and enjoy this independence and freedoms today too…what a novel concept!!!

P.S.: I’m thinking paint gun to keep these Grackles in line, whatcha think???

Slide show

Sometimes its just fun to watch the photos and lately, the birds have provided me with lots of entertainment. Pretty soon the feeding will cease as the warmer weather allows Nature to provide the food these feather friends need. However, I did plant sunflowers and hopefully that will bring them back and I can use some of those seeds too.

Enjoy

ALERT! This just hit my desk-- It was this kid who started it all:

Downy Woodpecker

Look what showed up at my bird feeder, aka suet, on Easter morning?






This downy woodpecker was hungry and was having himself a lovely feast.

It was hard to wait to get the red on his head but patience is its own reward.




Also, yellow finches are showing up now but so far I haven't captured them on film... okay, one more woodpecker photo ---


It is amazing how much they like suet -- hell, I'm amazed at all the critters that find this the meal of the week, and that includes the bloody squirrels!

Well, folks, I have about an hour and then, I'm off, first to Syracuse and a few errands there and a quiet night with my sister -- we have a lovely weekend and laughed so much it was unreal. If you really want to have fun, get yourself the Mad Gab game and play it -- you will having achy sides for sure. Plus the good all weekend was just wonderful too. Oh hell, yes so was the beer -- when is beer not good? (Ya, I can think of a few cans that didn't agree with me). Anyway, a quiet evening will be nice and then, early tomorrow we shall don on wings and flap our way to Florida.

I know, I know, you all want to come with me but hey, find your own wings! Maybe I can bring back the warmer temps? Hey, at least the weather forecast for this week shows sunshine...not exactly shorts weather but hey, little steps, first let's get acclimated to sun, then we can work on higher, warmer temps, right?

Now this critter can damn well stay on that side of the fence, I don't want him in my yard, thank you very much.

Be good, and keep smiling...see ya on the flip side!!!

Reasons why children are adorable

While in Syracuse earlier this week, one day was decent enough to actually sit outside and soak up some of the sunshine (not long mind ya) but while enjoying this (and a cold drink) I noticed a cardinal and man, was he red. My sister got her camera and caught him, singing away and having a good ole time. None of us could quite get over how "red" he was -- and as usual, the male is pretty while the female is rather -- well---dull. Anyway, it was great seeing this bird and now I'm hoping to get cardinals to visit my feeder, even bought them their own feeder and thought I had bought cardinal-liked seeds but not sure. Ya, talk about going tweety, that's me and this bird nonsense. Ah hell, a new hobby, who cares!

Now on to the "reasons why children are adorable," and we know they can also be little poopy pants too.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that’s Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE ... God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

KIDS, SENIORS & BIRDS

I just wonder, am I the only one (I know I am not but I’m gonna ask it anyway) that thinks we have a really strong “crow” population? I mean, I can’t recall this many damn crows as a kid nor do I recall them being almost as big as turkeys! Plus they are noisy, I mean, flat out rude noisy.


Even more amazing, and I just learned this – see how ignorant I was – that these birds are protected By the Migratory Bird Treaty of 1918. The statute makes it unlawful to pursue, hunt, take, capture, kill or sell birds listed therein (“migratory birds). And it does not discriminate between live or dead birds and also grants full protection to any bird parts, including feathers, eggs, and nests. There are over 800 birds on this list. Now the number of individual American Crows is estimated by Birdlife International to be around 31,000,000.

Well, as a farm kid, we never heard of this statute and crows were good target practice critters for our BB guns and 22’s. Also, this kept the crow population down around our farm, thank you very much! Local sportsman’s clubs held annual “crow shoot offs” just to help hone that shooting skill and keep the crow population in-check (obviously it was not eliminlated!).

From the diary of a Pre-School Teacher


My five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"

I took a deep breath, and then asked..."What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does...

“A f r i c a n Elephant”

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?

~~~~~

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left."

Seniors - don't mess with them!

OLD PECAN TREE

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,’ said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'He just knew what it was.

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been telling' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.


So it is Sunday, rainy and dreary but the temp aint too bad -- around 39 degrees (give or take). So, do what you wish today -- like you'd do anything different. Oh ya, keep smiling!!!

My Bird

I just could not resist sharing this with you all---finally "A" bird has shown up at my bird feeder. Hey, it only took three feeders, a branch and expensive bird seed to attract this little darling.

Wait, one more just to show you just how CUTE this little bird is -- go ahead, laugh but now the question is: Will he tell his friends or keep this eating place all to himself? What would you do?

Look at the choices these birds have -- I mean, do I offer choices or do I offer choices? And the feeder this one bird choose -- the windmill, the first feeder and only one out there for months! Go figure!

Yes, if more show up I'll most likely get more photos and soon, very soon, this madness shall pass and something else shall take its place. Hey, I don't suffer from Cabin Fever, so thar!!

~~~~~~

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

Tank Tops & Birds

Now look folks, its 22 degrees and rising but let’s not get silly and assume this so called heat wave is grounds to dig out those tank tops and shorts, okay? It’ll be a nice day, granted and we’ll enjoy it but it’s not gonna last. Sorry but it’s still the winter season and Mother Nature does like to tease – and you thought she had no sense of humor!

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Michael Phelps? He’s been suspended, he’s apologized and he’s even been pulled off the Cornflake box, can we please move on, and yes, Michael, shut your damn mouth too.



I am more than willing to feed birds, really this is something I wish to do and while they munch away on the bird feed, I can snap photos and get some amazing shots. Sometimes I just get damn lucky and that’s okay too.[FYI to see a larger picture, just click on photo] However, I am somewhat irked that I can’t seem to attract birds in my own yard. I have a nice bird feeder (nice by human standards) and it has food it in but no birds. Hey, my brother has birds on his deck, he can sit in his house, less than 5 feet away and watch them feed, fly around and perform dances for him, but me, hell no! Oh Bro lives in the country and I’m in town, but come on, do the birds really know this?

Yesterday I decided to do something to encourage birds to my feeder. First I trucked through deep snow to get a fallen branch to prop up around the damn feeder to give it the look of being in the woods (what the hell, anything is worth a try at this point). I even bought suet and hung it from the branches – still nothing. Ya, it’s still early but I wasn’t done, nope I was on a mission now and damnit, birds are gonna feed from my feeder or it won’t be for lack of trying on my part!


The next step was to head to Tractor Supply (ya, that makes no sense but this is where pet stuff is bought) and (1) bought a new bird house, this sucker looks like a condo in red cedar, very attractive, (2) Sunflower heart seeds – try something new maybe they’ll like this better, (3) an extender rod to push the bird house a little further away from the deck and (4) more suet (why I bought more crap they are not eating is beyond me but hey, the condo comes with a spot for suet).[oh hell, just smile, it makes for a change in the usual winter madness, like snowshoeing, cross country skiing, Wii exercises, Yoga, etc -- see, told ya, it would make ya smile].

Sometime today I hope to put all these new items up and then, sit back and wait for the birds. If they still don’t show up, screw’em they can starve. I did my part and now it’s up them! Oh the photos are ones taken at my son-in-law’s house, where he has so many feeders a bird could go nuts deciding and yes, the birds just love him….he also puts out hay and corn for the deer too.

That’s it for now, maybe more later – who knows – I could just join the bird family and find out the real reason they avoid my feeder!!!! Oh, can't leave ya without this tidbit...enjoy:

This is my NEW feeder and fake woods!

Will I live to see 80?

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly
well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, fishing or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No,” I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a shit?"