Deep Sea Fishing

Vacations are just fantastic and even us retired folks, plan and look forward to vacations – meaning, we get away from where we are residing and go somewhere else and raise hell, okay? As you all know, for me it was Florida and for 7 days my sisters and I would cram as much laughter as we could and continue filling the memory tree with more interesting chapters!

We landed in Tampa and drove to New Port Richy just “after” a tornado had hit and left the area. Good timing, eh? Upon arrival at big sister’s house we quickly ditched the winter/spring attire and donned shorts (they would be our faves for the next few days, along with tank tops, crocs, sandals , hats and of course sun block). Once in comfy attire it was sit outside and drink beer and relax. This was Tuesday and Wednesday morning we’d get up early, pack insulated cooler and bag with food, drinks and long sleeved shirts and depart for Tarpon Springs so as to board the deep sea fishing boat by 7:30 a.m.

Now I’m gonna race a head a little bit here just to help you understand what happens as this adventure continues. First off, none of us had been deep sea fishing before so this was a new adventure for each. Many of us have been on cruises, boats and we all swim, so we are not afraid of or have issues with water or watercraft, okay. As we are not overly prone to motion sickness, it never cross our minds to take “Dramamine,” (which if used needs to be taken the night before and the morning of a motion-sensor outing).

As mentioned, a tornado had blown through the day we landed and Wednesday it was not exactly “hot” weather but for us winter-logged northerners, it was still better than the 30 and 40 temps we had been dealing with but at the same time, on the open sea it did get a tad chilly! This 85 foot fishing boat was a beauty, enclosed snack bar, large double rest rooms (remember this part), bait, tackle and poles furnished, [when you select your pole, carry it on board and tie it to the rail until it is time to fish…remember this part too] and the boat is fast and comfortable. One of the perks is you get to keep your catch and they’ll even clean them for you for a minimal fee. Man, this was some deal and the price, well, that was very reasonable as well.
As we left the channel and headed out to sea, the waves were getting bigger and the boat was rocking pretty damn well. One sister decided this was nothing more than a strong rocking chair and she adjusted nicely to this motion. Even the men, who assumed the “manly” posture, were soon realizing this dipping, rolling and rocking was not exactly a smooth ride and they too would try like hell to keep things down.

Bossy Baby was the first to get sick and I mean she got sick! She literally camped out in the female bathroom forcing every other female to use the men’s bathroom. I was getting a tad green and not sure if I could prevent myself from getting sick and sure as hell, I was puking over the side too. Then it was decided we both should use a Dramamine and that would help (help me to toss up even more stuff). Bossy baby was really in bad shape, she had managed to mangle her eye glasses and yet, she had managed to unlock the door so I could give her the pill and water bottle.

Then the waves hit again, the boat rolled and rocked and I went flying, literally bouncing around like a rag doll, hitting the door, rails, everything and there was nothing to grab hold of and some ass was yelling “hang on Lady!” Finally I grabbed the hold where the caught fish was being put and hung on to dear life. Another swell and I’d of been in that fish hold or over the bloody side! My only thought was “do not fall, just do not fall; you’ll break your hip.” This somewhat violence performance was referred to by my sister as a “whirly gig” and she wanted to laugh and most likely did once that damn bathroom door finally slammed shut again! Both sisters believe if the boat had twisted just a tad differently, I’d mostly like have gone overboard but hey, someone would have thrown me a life jacket!

Once I had my grip on the catch hold and no longer moving, I wasn’t sure I could move as I felt my back twist and snap and wondered just how much damaged I had done. I would learn later that I had a huge bruise on my right side and both ass cheeks were black and blue and one leg – I looked like I had done battle with a baseball bat and the bat one! Even Vietnam wasn’t this friggin violent and I was there during the TET Offensive!

My sister and I, with help were finally back inside and in our booth seat and she was stretch out and moaning and shivering and saying she was cold and wanted a blanket and I was telling her, repeatedly “ I do not knit.” As for me, I sat in the booth unsure if I could even move but I was no longer puking and the boat wasn’t rocking as much as before. Then some ass wipe wanted something to eat and the cook fired up the stove and the smell of cooked food nearly sent me back to the puke station! Nothing left to toss over board, so all was good!

In the meantime, the other sister who watched, listened and ask how this or that worked was within a few minutes fishing. Deep sea fishing poles are not like the regular fishing poles, these suckers have a very long handle and you have to figure out which underarm you wish to tuck this pole. Staff is there to help you haul in your catch, attach new hooks or lines if needed and even bait your hook if necessary.

These are long damn poles and she would sport some clever bruise in the armpit where the rod would rub and bang as she hauled in groupers. The fishing sister was asked by someone how her friends were doing and she replied, “those are my sisters, don’t mess with them, they are asleep and quiet, leave them to hell alone, I’m fishing!”

WAIT! Before you get the idea that it was only us that got sick, let me inform you that quite a few men were also seasick and they too suffer the joys of deep sea puking and they too would join us inside the boat for moans and groans! The 5 and 6 foot waves made this a very rough sea but the fish were biting and those who could, caught fish. The Good Baby managed to catch six but only five were keepers – she was having a blast and said, “Deep sea fishing is the teats.”

Once on land, the fish were cleaned and we headed home. The next day, the Good Baby was going to visit her son, daughter-in-law and of course, her granddaughter, so we did what was truly sisterly love, we cooked up her fish and ate them! She may have been the Good Baby on this outing but we definitely enjoyed those damn expensive fish!

All in all folks, we laughed and had a good time, it wasn't fun getting sick but you know what, we'd go deep sea fishing again, and those poles, next time they'd actually get used and not stay tied to the rail!

Tune in tomorrow for the “bacon in the sun” story and find out how the underwater camera worked!