Maxine

Yes, it has been awhile and yet we all wait and love to hear from Maxine, right? Oh be quiet, you know you read this crap and laugh just like the rest of us, get over yourself all ready!

Sadly I would have added Maxine cartoons/drawnings but what the hell, her pearls of wisdom are more entertaining than the same-ole cartoons, right? Well Ex--CUSE me, I don't have them, so move on..whiner!

• When I “snap” ---you’ll be the first to go!!
  
• Butt jiggle is just my little way of ---Waving goodbye!
  
• Maybe I’ll wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow …and maybe I won’t!
• I tried paying my taxes with a smile – They wanted money!
  
• Don’t like my attitude? Send me an email at: www.like_I_care.com.
• It’s….one nation UNDER GOD…” or bite my skinny old ass and leave!
• If you MUST burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first!
  
• Real women don’t have hot flashes they have POWER SURGES!
• Men are always whining about how we’re suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you’re not pressing hard enough on the pillow!
• When the neighbors play music too loud, I dance naked. Shuts’ down pretty quick.
• Getting older is like visiting an all-you-can-eat- buffet. What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu.
  
• As far as I’m concerned, the perfect bra is a sweatshirt.
  
• Actually, you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years. Assuming you can stand the sight.

So thar ya go, had a few laughs, didn't ya? Well, you keep smiling, water bugs and life shall keep entertaining you!!!