Before I get to this guide, Happy First Day of Autumn. In case you didn't know this, today is the first day we have rain for this month -- can you believe it? After all the rain, to think we made it to the 22nd of a month with no rain is just unbelievable. Ya, I know, we needed it too -- ain't that amazing! Now on to the hormone guide...always something to assist you, eh?
Women will understand this! Men should definitely memorize it! Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
What's for dinner? DANGEROUS
Can I help you with dinner? SAFER
Where would you like to go for dinner? SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.
Are you wearing that? DANGEROUS
You sure look good in brown! SAFER
WOW! Look at you! SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE
What are you so worked up about? DANGEROUS
Could we be overreacting? SAFER
Here's my paycheck. SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.
Should you be eating that? DANGEROUS
You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFER
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE.
What did you DO all day? DANGEROUS
I hope you didn't over-do it today. SAFER
I've always loved you in that robe! SAFEST
Here, have some wine. ULTRA SAFE
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. 12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh...and men who need a warning. Oh, and have some wine.
2 comments:
Pat, I've been lurking on your blog now and again and wanted to drop you a HUGE thank you for always bringing a smile, usually a giggle or three and sometimes a tear or two. Found you through a rather obscure search for the Mid-Life humor post. Glad I found you. Thanks for writing!
Hi Dissident Dau...glad you drop by and enjoy the postings. Its fun to make other giggle and remember life is good and we all need to laugh more.
Keep coming back, who knows what will appear next!
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