Mermaid or Whale

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID, OR A WHALE?"

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those ofthe woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curioushumans). They have an active sex life; they get pregnant and have adorablebaby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins --stuffing themselves with shrimp and other delicacies of the sea. They play and swim in the oceans, seeing exotic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are excellent singers and have even recorded CDs.They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in theworld.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis. Fish or human? Human or fish? They can't have a sex life because they kill the men they lure close to them. Therefore, they can't experience the joys of motherhood. They are purported to be exceedingly vain and capricious. Not only that, who wants to be near a girl who smells like a fish market? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S:We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who still makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time, we gain weight, because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that, when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So, we aren't heavy; we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, "OMG! Look how smart I am".