Warn Your Friends

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed woke up and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart. These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes!

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For those who are keeping up, my fitness routine has become an obsession. I mean, I actually feel like shit if I don't exercise or at the very least guilty! Ya, go for the latter. This morning I finally succeeded in a goal I had set for myself this year. Go ALL THE WAY AROUND Norwood Lake. [this would be known as LakeShore Drive]

First it was up and over Norwood hill (this would be the hill headed toward Potsdam or if coming from Potsdam, the hill that leads into the village). Then I crossed over at the Lobster House and began the long walk around. I have one small problem -- it's called a bladder. It does not take kindly to these long hauls without an occasional stop and in due course it must be emptied.

In case you are wondering, there are no public toilets along this route and folks are still pretty nasty if you squat in their yard. So, women (and men too for that matter) are inclined to duck into the woods. The first time was not all that bad but the second spot was something I doubt I will see again in my life time. I really had to pee, and I mean, the potty dance wasn't gonna stop this from happening, so get in the woods, whip those pants down, squat and let'r go, right? I look up and I am "eyeball-to-eyeball" with a deer. No shit, a deer. I remained in the squat and hoped this 4-legged creature would move on and it did...I can hear him telling his mates this story as they gather to snuggle down for the night and how they laughed like fools!

The point is, I made it around the Lake -- I ended up with three freakin blisters but I made it. Cross that off my goal list. Hey, I said ONCE I would like to go around the Lake, well, I have done that - end of story.

I still believe bathroom scales lie, so I don't rely on them very much. However I can admit that I have toned up and have lost inches --proof of that is dropping a size -- hurrah! Come on, I walk 2 or 3 miles three times a week, I workout at Curves 3 times a week and normally I am also using the Wii Active workout which is a 30-day challenge workout. This one puts you thru your paces for two days and then, thankfully gives you a rest day and you do this for 30-days. I tried to up the intensity level and was humbled fast and went directly back to the low intensity level -- trust me, this was sufficient to kick ass.

My routine has become habit forming and its one habit I actually enjoy. When the icky weather gets here and icy sidewalks make walking bad, I shall snowshoe which is also a good workout and great fun. Plus I will have a grandson to keep me busy too -- now that's gonna be a great workout!