Tuesday, November 25, 2008

TIS THAT SEASON

Oh get real, not that season, hell, let’s get thru one holiday before we are blasted with another. No the season I’m referring too is that lovely cold season. Lately cold has been replaced with “I’ve got the crud,” ain’t that pretty!

Look I have just one simple request; when you get this crud/cold/coughing/sneezing whatever, stay the hell home! It really is that bloody simple and makes perfect sense. You need to rest, sleep and keep fluids in your body, not spread this shit around to other folks, we don’t want it, okay? We love ya and all that good crap but we don’t want your illness. So get over yourself and stay the hell home!

Today, without fail, I shall start some of my Thanksgiving assigned dishes. None of which are all that difficult and currently I still have room in my fridge. Oh come on, we all know this piece of kitchen equipment becomes packed with Bird day goodies and finding room of yet another dish is one hell of a challenge.

When I get sick of this number, I shall head to town and get the wine – hell, maybe I’ll pick up a prep-bottle too – now that makes perfect sense to me. Hey, you should always taste wine before serving it, right?

Okay, now to make your life really interesting. Imagine you are 39 years old, a baseball pitcher and you are looking for new five year contract. Now here’s the best part, you want a 15 million dollar contract –wait – that’s 15 million each year! And you gave up throwing that baseball as a kid, how stupid are you?

Now imagine you’re being considered for the Sexiest Man of the Year? Oh ya, that took lots of imagination and then, not getting the nod your wife nicely proclaims; “in my book, my husband is the sexiest man of year.” Now, don’t you just feel like a pumped up stud! What the hell, have your moment of fame, it does a body good!

So it’s the season for colds and you now know if sick stay the hell home, right? If healthy, start those bird-day dishes now and don’t put so much stress on yourself Thursday. Unless you got a food network highway kitchen, you only have one oven like the rest of us, so bake early and while the turkey rests from it’s six hour bake, put the other dishes in to warm up – who in hell will know the difference?

More anon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

*cough-cough*!! LOL!! :0)