CHRISTMAS TRAIN –DE-HELL-LAY

I really am gonna try to make this as short as possible but that is gonna be one hell of a challenge! It was the best of times, or was it the worse of times? Oh ya, it was the little train that could, only this sucker would not go on icy rails -- such a flippin wimp! Look, this trip normally is two days out and two days back and while on the train, we have a sleeper car and yes, we can and do sleep. The upper bunk is like being in a coffin but hubby seems perfectly content to climb up thar vs. flying, so he's a happy camper. I on the other hand, take smaller suitcase and have it on the end of my bed, meaning I can't completely stretch out but as I am short, this works -- hey, did you really expect to sleep soundly on a train?

You know that lovely ditty "weather is beautiful wish you were here?" Well, anyone who tracked the weather the week before Christmas and the days after, knows the snow storms hit first the east and mid-west and then, the west coast and back to the east coast and some where it hit the middle of the country too. Ya, all the upper areas, screw the rain and 65 temps in the southern states, sorry about the flooding but we were freezing our asses off!

So train schedules got all screwed up and that included canceling some trains due to weather conditions. Which meant when the train did ride the rail, passengers were overbooked on trains that didn't have enough or adequate accommodations. Like we lost our sleeper car from Chicago to Grand Forks and ended up in "coach." That's the price of delays -- sleeping in coach. For some they were put in a car that had been in deep freeze for weeks and it would take days to thaw out and feel warm, so those folks bundled up and tried to stay warm or constantly roamed the warmer cars, sat in the observation or cafe car to keep warm. Oh ya, everyone was singing, happy and cheerful as hell -- how they managed to smile with ice hanging from their lips is beyond me!

We spent so much time in the Chicago train station, I was about to take up residence! Its a lovely station but damnit, after a few thousand circuits, you have seen it all and there is nothing new. Oh wait, thar are the homeless people who beg for money and police personnel trying to run them out and away from you -- that was a fun scene to witness. Hey, I'm not even sure some were homeless vs. stuck passengers like us!

Weather delays are not fun and drive you nuts but hey, nobody can fight Mother Nature. She gets her knickers in a twist and you just cope as she is callign the shots and if that means delays, canceled trips, so be it. And it wasn't just trains, oh no, Mama was delaying and cancelling planes and buses too. She was one pissed off woman and we all felt it.

Now the one delay that still has many of us shaking our head was the idiot in Fargo, who decided the railroad crossing bars were down too long and decided to drive in and out of them. Well, he didn’t quite get all this accomplished when the train began moving and ran into him. Hey, you do not stop a 20-car train very quickly and although moving slowly, it still managed to do major damage and of course, delayed us about 50 minutes while wreckage and tickets were issued.

This is one train trip that has many stories attached to it and how we sat in train stations a lot and almost had Christmas with total strangers who over the course of waiting almost became members of the family! It was unreal but everyone remained in good spirits, smiled a lot and tempers were not flying to high or often. Hell, the train personnel could not be blamed for horrible weather conditions.

Yes, Christmas with the grandkids was delightful. As is the tradition with my dau-in-law, we all gather at her parent’s house for a BBQ and lemme tell Daddy Jim can cook one hell of a good steak and this country gal definitely pigged out. There was tons of food and if you went home hungry, you were one dumb shit because there was plenty of eats!

So I am back, glad to be off the train, sleeping in my own bed and not hanging around a train station. I think it will be many years before we even contemplate doing another winter train trip – the train is fun but let’s do this in warm weather because hanging out in train stations and dealing with all the weather-related delays is just flat ass not fun.

Oh ya, I shall write more about this trip but for now, consider this Part I and II, III and other parts to follow in due course, including Mother Nature's determination to give us all some major weather news to share with each other!

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”