Thursday, June 12, 2008

HOLY PUNCTUATION

Anyone know the difference between good and evil? Could be just a little grammar. These excerpts are from real church bulletins – enjoy.

“This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.”

“Tuesday, at 4 pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk come early.”

“Thursday, at 5 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the pastor in his study.”

“A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.”

NOW SOME PRESIDENTIAL FIRSTS

Harry S. Truman was the first President to buzz the White House in an airplane.

Thomas Jefferson and James Madison are the only presidents to be arrested together.

Theodore Roosevelt first and last (that we know of) president o wear another president’s body part during his inauguration. (Supposedly he had a ring containing strands of hair that had been cut from Lincoln’s head the night he was assassinated.)

William Howard Taft – first president to throw out the first pitch of the baseball season.

Warren G. Harding – first president to bet (and lose) the White House china in poker games.

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Take your weight multiply it by .6. That’s roughly how many pounds of water are in your body.

One in five Americans cannot say which president is on the $1 bill without looking.

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