Dusting

Remember...a layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.

A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture ...'

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over' Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.

If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must .......but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake some biscuits or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?!

Dust if you must, but there's not much time . . ..with beer to drink , rivers to swim and mountains to climb , music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the worlds out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, and a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. . . And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

CRYSTAL BALL

Oh you’re gonna love this – and it ain’t what you think (you are thinking, right?). This crystal ball is a large air filled ball used to assist you in a fun and yet challenging (remember this word) workout designed to improve functional strength, flexibility and stability!

See I told you it wasn’t what you thought and now, even I wish it was what we thought. Okay in a stupid moment I bought one and first let me bore you with the so called benefits (this could end up being Part I and II to follow soon?):

• Trains the body in functional movement (what in hell has my body been doing all these years, non-functional movements?)
• Forces the body to strengthen the stabilizing muscles (huh?)
• Challenges the body to improve alignment and balance (great I’m not aligned and off balance, holy sheet).
• Targets abdominals and lower back thus strengthening the body core to improve posture (strengthen the core for what?)
• Unique and easy stretching device (so was the rack).
• Improves muscle tone and increases endurance (muscle tone, endurance, what the hell --am I in some race?)
• Improves flexibility and increases strength (is anyone other than me seeing one word repeated over and over here – strength!)
• Stabilizes the spine (oh no, my spine has been unstable, damn).
• Helps you to lose weight (finally something useful).
  

Still with me, Moonbeam? Good now here are the advantages, ready for this?

• Fun.
• Easy for all ages from kids to grandparents.
• Portable and lightweight.
• Easy to travel with and to store.
• Inexpensive and comprehensive.
• 90 days guarantee (what after 90 days it pops?)

Okay, we’re all on the same page. First you gotta get this ball out of the box and blow the sucker up. Now this doesn’t seem all that complicated but I think this is how the strength part begins – using a hand pump, mind ya! No, I did not use that, do I look stupid? I got an electric pump. Now this takes considerable effort because once you fill it, you gotta get the “plug” back in before all the air escapes here’s that flexibility and endurance stuff!

Finally the ball is ready and now the first exercise – guess what? You got to WARM UP. Hell, I was dripping just getting the ball blown up and now a warm up exercise, ye gads! Fine, play along, be kind and learn. I think this falls under that functional movement number.

Anyway the first warm up is to SIT on top of the ball with arms relaxed on your thighs. Your thighs should be approximately 90 degrees to your lower legs (say what – where else would my thighs be?). Continuing on, place feet flat on the floor about shoulder width apart and begin to shift your weight up and down by bouncing gently on the ball. Oh when first trying these exercises, hold onto a wall or prop the ball against something sturdy for added stability!

To review, got the crystal exercise ball, got it blown up, sat and bounced on it and now ready for the next step. I shan’t bore you with these – arm exercises, push ups, trunk curls, abdominals/obliques, pelvic tilt, leg raises, hip extension, leg curl, outer thighs, inner thighs, upper thighs (damn we got a lot of thighs),and heel raises.

OMG the most important part – Before beginning this or any exercise program, consult your physician. Hell, I would think consult my insurance agent would also be a good ideas as well – increase that injury clause, okay?

So, I shall keep you posted on how me and the ball get along – this could turn out to be very interesting and when outside weather or conditions make walking a tad hazardous to my health, I can always do the ball workouts, right?

Wouldn’t you know it – brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

MANURE

You learn something everyday...here's your lesson:

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off of the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ‘, (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golfing term

Sunday----

Sadly, let me join everyone else in expressing how much I shall miss Paul Newman. Now this was one great actor and fantastic man and all the more so because he never allowed his fame to take away his right to be a normal, everyday guy! He was a loving husband and devoted father and gave away millions to help others. Rest in peace Paul, we are better because you were in our lives!



Now it’s raining and around 1pm the football games shall begin, hurrah. However for reasons unknown I decided to tackle an ole task done years ago. What? My sister-in-law offered and I took lots of tomatoes and as I’m the only one who truly likes them, this was way too much even for me (trust me I pigged out sufficiently and needed to back away from the trough). So I decided to make homemade tomato sauce, none of that store bought stuff, nope, make your own.

As mentioned I did this years ago but memory and dead brain cells made it impossible to remember how this was actually accomplished so I went to the Internet and looked up “homemade tomato sauce.” Man, there are a zillion possibilities and I finally selected one and knew I would revise it – that’s just my nature.

First I had to boil the tomatoes until the skin starts to peel, then plunge these babies in a large bowl of iced water. I don’t ever remember this ice part before ( I think we just yank'em out of the hot water, let’em cool, and literally ripped the skin off – no ice involved whatsoever and hot hands was just part of the fun!). Then according to the recipe I was suppose to squeeze the seeds out – are you kidding me, as I remember it, seeds and all went into the food processor and that is exactly what was done today!

Then using a big pot I was cooking onions, bell peppers, carrots and garlic in oil until the onion starts to soften (what in hell does that mean, does it yell I am soft or is it when you can see thru it that means its soft?). Then I noticed some leftover homemade salsa my daughter had given us and thought, what the hell toss that in too – give it some real kick! I began adding spices too, basil, Italian seasoning, and dab of salt, ground pepper and almost forgot the wine (damn that would have been horrible). Tossed in a bay leaf and now the stuff is simmering away on my stove. Oh ya, I took a taste and man, this is good stuff. The only thing I don’t have is tomato paste to thicken up my sauce but hey, one trip to the store is fine – I can also get some garlic bread too.

I feel so damn domestic today I could just puke! Its fun to do such things every now and then, but I gotta tell ya, when someone else makes tomato sauce for you, why bother? I admire folks who really love to cook and prefer to make things from scratch, you go people as for me, I have cooking moments and then they pass, thank God!

So now I shall mop the kitchen floor, do up the prep dishes and get ready for foot ball. Enjoy the day--rainy, damp and humid but as long as we’re breathing, we are doing just FINE!

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Well Moonbeam, here we go again and again thar are days when we should not listen or read because things are just flippin weird.

How about the guy with agonizing abdominal pain, he’s like 71 years old and gets told, “Based on your visit today we can tell now you are pregnant!” Makes you wonder who was working the ER that day doesn’t it?

Or the man who wakes up from surgery, which he signed to have and discovers his penis is gone and now he’s suing the hospital[claiming he wasn't told about this and would have liked a chance to get a second opinion, forget the cancer had spread and this saved his life] and he wants is penis back! Find anything and sew it on so he'll shut is stupid mouth!

Now this one should never be tried at home…supposedly if you are trying to lose weight (hello who isn’t these days), you should have a bowl of your favorite treats (that would be candy) readily available. The challenge is to stop you from eating said candy? Are you nuts? Hide the damn stuff or better yet, don’t have it in the house and then you can really avoid it completely –why in hell punish yourself with such a dumb challenge? Hello, who has the brain cell today?

I wonder if watching cartoons would be helpful. The last time I watched cartoons was with my grand kids and I had to have them explain what these creatures were doing – it was all weird to me!

Well, are we in for a wet weekend or just a wet Saturday? Ya, I know I could check myself but why bother – regardless of the answer, it is still the weekend, right? One more week or maybe two, and then, it will definitely be time to put away the summer stuff and get things ready for the cooler weather. I still haven’t done anything in regards to tulip planting and that needs to happen pretty soon too. Oh well, plenty of time – no need to rush – said the person who stood shoveling 5 feet of snow.

Oh by the by, does anyone remember the ole tale about caterpillars? You know, the rings around them indicate storms or some such stuff? I saw my first caterpillar the other day, thick black ring at both ends and a relatively wide gap in the middle that was brown. So does that mean we get one hell of a storm at the beginning of winter, then it turns mild and one more storm before the winter ends? Ya, what in hell do those rings mean? Keep me posted – its always fun to rattle the cages!

The more ya laugh the less ya pee!

Sorry just gotta add this -- found it on the Internet -- why keep you in suspense:

The Great Debate - no not the one tonight between McCain and Obama but the debate that is raging across the country between the two most formidable signs of winter weather.

One side is the persimmon seed. Legend is that you cut open a persimmon and if the seed is in the shape of a spoon it indicates lots of heavy snow. A knife shape means bitter cold and fork shape indicates a lighter snow/ mild winter.

The lowly woolly bear caterpillar just crawls along doing his or her thing. If it has a large band of orange color, the indication is that it will be a mild winter. If it is mostly black, then it will be a rough winter.

So, what are the candidates saying about winter? So far the persimmon seeds are all about snow. I have had 30 reports from 13 states and over 100 seeds. 98% are spoons (snow) and 2% are a knife (bitter cold). These reports come from New England through Texas. On the other hand, the caterpillar is being extreme. Nine people are seeing either an all orange or all black caterpillars. We have had 5 orange (mild) sightings and 5 black (rough winter) reports. It is still early and I may make up a special weather map based on the signs being reported.

HOW IS YOUR DAY?

Sweet Jejeezus I think the world has gone flippin mad. Some poor news anchor that looks like Palin is getting hate mail – if you see the photos, yes they look alike but come on, hate mail?

Now to make your life really weird, Kid Rock is attempting to have his own beer – what – say that again, Kid Rock Beer? I just don’t understand this so called attempt to offer us loyal beer drinkers this so called “domestic “ brew – domestic brew from a man who is prone to violent acts and who keeps trying to move into country music and who, in my opinion, needs a hair cut!

Then on a lighter note, have seen and/or heard the geese lately? Ya, those V shape flying patterns – are they headed south all ready? Oh hell, I ain’t gonna educate you on this pattern, just a little tiny point, being the leader sucks! You want to fly longer, stay in the back and use the draft the others create and you don’t flap as much!

Well I see the “ticket” for flower toilets was tossed out and they remain a “landmark.” Hey, this is the cheapest advertising a village could have – folks drive from miles away to see this art work and while here, they shop, eat and spend money. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Now we all can sleep better knowing that Clay Aiken has finally admitted he’s gay! Does that make anyone sleep better? Then we got at least two with too much money donating $100,000, to campaign against proposition 8 in California which wants to ban same-sex marriages. That’s a lot of cash to stop love! And while on this topic, Ellen’s new Mrs. is gonna take her last name DeGeneres – well, ain’t that just peachy!

Sonofagun folks, I’m going outside and soaking up the rays of Fall, whatever in hell that means. You all behave and have a great day, okay?

KITTY STUTTER

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human Beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went Sssss,Sssss, Sssss" and before he could say "Shit," the Rottweiler ate him!

The teacher wet her pants laughing.

Confucius say: Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Just Wondering

I know this photo is misleading and when I saw it, early this morning I was wondering if I had taken some drug. I mean, it looks like ice but in reality its foam! Unbelievable.

Well, I am hearing lawn mowers and thinking “are you folk’s nuts?” I mean, do we really need to keep cutting the bloody damn grass! Some where in the back of my foolish head there is this nagging concept that grass needs to be left a tad long before the real cold weather settles in and this helps protects those tender little shoots we call GRASS!

But what the hell do I know – folks are mowing and I’m looking at them like, don’t expect me to follow suit – no way Sister! My lawn looks great and other than slowly collecting leaves, it’s gonna look a tad “bushy” but that’s the layer I want it to have as the cold weather enters. Why in hell would you cut it so close the ground in the first place?

Ya, the Fall colors are really starting to grab our attention now. Seeing lots of reds but not too many bright yellows but then, I may be looking in the wrong spots. Ya, I know, head toward the mountains and you’ll see the full color wheel.

Well, a few more photos to bore you and then, I’m off to the beauty shop – make that hair saloon….beauty is such a misleading word. All I know is my mane needs trimming and then, I shall be a happy camper once again.

Something about this building with the green windows that just fascinates me -- it sure stands out and looks impressive, strong and worthy of capturing on film. Some day we should address what makes a worthy photo -- now, thar's a subject to blow the brain cells to hell and back! Enjoy.

National Girlfriends Day

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women who have touched my life. Here's to you!

It is good to be a woman:

• We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

We will never regret piercing our ears.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day!!!!!

HULLO COLORS

Autumn (also known as fall in North American English) is one of the four temperate seasons. Autumn marks the transition from summer into winter, usually in late September (northern hemisphere)

Before the 16th century, harvest was the term usually used to refer to the season. However as more people gradually moved from working the land to living in towns (especially those who could read and write, the only people whose use of language we now know), the word harvest lost its reference to the time of year and came to refer only to the actual activity of reaping, and fall, as well as autumn, began to replace it as a reference to the season.

Autumn in poetry has often been associated with melancholy. The possibilities of summer are gone, and the chill of winter is on the horizon. Skies turn grey, and people turn inward, both physically and mentally.[7] Rainer Maria Rilke, a German poet, has expressed such sentiments in one of his most famous poems, Herbsttag (Autumn Day), which reads in part:

This translates roughly (there is no official translation) to:
Who now has no house, will not build one (anymore).
Who now is alone, will remain so for long,
Will wake, and read, and write long letters
And back and forth on the boulevards
Will restlessly wander, while the leaves blow.

Oh ya, I can see how much you enjoyed this German poem – yikes! Well, poetry takes a bit of getting use to and then, once you find something you like, you do enjoy it.

So now we all shall embrace the color change in leaves wherever deciduous trees are found. For many, if gas prices permit, that means a drive to the mountains – Tupper Lake if nothing else. And foliage reports will keep us all posted on the peak time to see the most brilliant colors.

I’m always amazed at how people year after year snap picture after picture of Fall colors. I mean, the colors are pretty much the same thing and panoramic shots are much pretty the same shots every year too, right? As for me, I’m more inclined to want to take that odd Fall photo. You know the one where someone has spent hours raking up the leaves, has a pile of them, and kids suddenly jump on the pile and soon leaves are spread out again! Now that’s the photo I want to capture and the face to the person who did the raking!

Whatever you fancy, the fact remains that Fall is here and soon we’ll end the daylight savings time and once again, change the clocks. The only one that causes me some awkward moments is the one in my car. So for a few months I just don’t change it – until someone gets in my car and asks, “is that the correct time?”

Have lovely Monday, enjoy the cool weather and “if you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague!”

THINGS THAT BUG YA

Oh come on, there are tons of things that bug people and some just so damn silly it’s amazing we consider them bugging material. And then we have some items that reach right out and scream, “don’t you just hate that?”

Don’t believe me? Okay, let’s try a few, just for kicks – its Sunday, who cares.

· Tipping someone who hasn’t earned it only because you don’t want to look cheap (ya, like you never did this!)

· People who point at their wrist while asking for the time (do they also point lower to indicate they need to go potty?).

· That FCC allows television commercials to be as loud as the loudest part of any television program (in many cases, commercials are louder than the actual program, causing us to mute or turn down the sound, only to turn it back up when the program resumes – ya I hate this too).

· Having an acute anal itch in public (now what comment can I add to this – NONE).

· The white thread your vacuum won’t pick up no matter how many times you run over it (hey, I’ve seen people, pick up the thread, move it and put it back down and vacuum over it again and again. If you picked it up, why in hell didn’t you throw it away?).

So you get some idea of things that bug us or make us say, “don’t you just hate that?” Big deal, eh? Well, for a few seconds it gave you something to contemplate, mull over and probably now you are thinking of many other things that bug you and make you smile. See, it wasn’t such a useless subject after all.

Tis Sunday and that means FOOTBALL -- gee, do I have enuff beer for all the games? Oh that's right, drinking beer is not the only way to watch a football game -- well, I'm learning something every damn day.

I don't care if you lick windows,

take the special bus,

or occasionally pee on yourself:

YOU HANG IN THERE SUNSHINE, YOU'RE VERY SPECIAL

HEALTH NEWS

This doctor must have a lot of patients!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that 's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that 's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out o f the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - wine in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a ride'

AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suff er fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

SON-OF-A-GUN

I am not ready to throw a blanket around my house aka winterizing! But when I saw FREEZE WARNINGS, I began to think, maybe winterizing is gonna happen a bit earlier this year!

Significant frost and areas of freezing temperatures expected late tonight (that would be Thursday) into early Friday morning. High pressure will drift across northern New York and Vermont. The word that really got me was “drift!” That word is usually reserved for that white stuff, right? I mean, we don’t drift rain, wind or sand, but snow, so using it this early is a tag annoying!

Hey until it gets impossible or tricky walking I shall continue my morning walks. Only this morning I donned a fleece jacket and should have grabbed some mittens. Ya, my wittle hands got a tad chilly, oh hell, they got cold! I usually walk at least two miles, sometimes more depending on my mood and let me tell you, the return walk home saw me wishing I had not put on the fleece jacket and glad I did not have mittens, I was sweating!

As I walked I could smell the wood stoves and furnaces blasting away as folks decided they needed to put some warmth into their homes. For many this was due to having a baby in the house or just being flat out cold. Hell my air conditioner is still on – isn’t running as the outside temp is 36 and inside it reads 64, so no reason to kick on the cool air (which is set at 73 degrees permanently).

So what in hell does one do in cool weather? Any damn thing you want, who cares, weather is weather, right? As for me, once I cool down, get a shower, I plan to get in my car, head to the country and take some photos – hey, it’s what I enjoy so why not do it? Yes, gas prices are bad but I’m not gonna waste gas, just enjoy a nice drive in the country, so thar!

He who hesitates is probably right.

PERKS FOR SENIORS

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3) No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4) People call at 9 pm and ask did I wake you?
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7) Things you buy now won't wear out.
8) You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9) You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10) You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12) You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13) You sing along with elevator music.
14) Your eyes won't get much worse.
15) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19) You can't remember who sent you this list.

Senegalese Proverb: Healthy thought: There are no misunderstandings; there are only failures to communicate!

KUDOS

Sometimes in our haste to get places or just having our routine disrupted we get, shall we say, a tad nasty! We utter words under our breath and we have little regard for whatever it is that is causing this change in our routine. Oh come on, like you’re sitting there assuming this is addressing someone else! We all do it, so get over yourself!

However we need to stop and give some thanks/kudos to the those road crews who made our lives just a tad bothersome as they cleaned up roadside debris or “paved” our main road. Now paving a main street which also happens to be a state route – means, at times, side streets are closed off too. This in turn means we have to find another route or street. Then there is the one lane movement which causes many to just boil inside. It is always thought the lane you are in is taking forever to move and the other side is getting more time!

I just wanna say thanks to the paving crew – I walk amongst these guys but not as early as they start – ye gads, they are up and out by 6 a.m., and that’s bloody early! They are friendly, courteous and have great smiles. My favorite is the “drive slowly” sign and how people completely ignore this and attempt to zoom along. Hey, we sat there for five minutes; we need to get places, so screw the drive slowly number. Only to see some guy indicating slow down – hey, he is no cop, so screw him, right? Oh baby, you gotta understand, all they need do is take your license number, report you and you got yourself a hefty ticket. You DO NOT speed in working zones!

Now listen up – today is HOPEFULLY the last day of paving in Norwood – so all our so called inconvenience shall end today. I am sure there will be some minor clean-up areas but the one lane, no turn on this street delays will end today. This is according to the work crew this morning as I walked by them and said good morning. Let’s hope this is the case? In the meantime, Norwood Village workers have decided to “dig” up various streets due to sewer issues or some such number, so some streets will be closed – but only for a few hours.

Again KUDOS to the paving crew – great job and truly nice guys and gals. Thank you for tolerating our stupidity and impatience.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else!

Poetry

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs

who owns a Bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and hunting.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

HIT ME

Okay I can’t help myself – some of this news is just too far out there to be avoided or at the very least left with no comment.

First up we got a guy, supposedly drinking a bit too much, who hears and sees a train, so he stops, lights a cigarette and gets clipped by the train. Now somehow train personnel know they hit something, so they stop and search and find nothing. The guy manages to crawl home and the next day calls the hospital because – are you ready – he can’t get out of bed! So, if you smoke don’t light up or stand close to a moving train!

Then we have the Ohio inmate who has gained so much weight, his veins are not accessible for execution. And he claims this is nothing new, even in the Army he had issues with vein access and he is not trying to delay his execution. Hell, shoot me if that will make folks happy he says! And we think weight gain is bad! Holy Martha!!!

Anyone remember Tom Jones? Oh ya, you remember him, ye gads he was some entertainer and has many a gal wondering. Anyway, at age 68 he is about to release his first album in 15 years – he claims “The fire is still in me,” Jones told The Associated Press in a recent interview, speaking by phone from his home in Los Angeles. “Not to be an oldie, but a goodie. I want to be a contender.” You go Tom!

Now this one will make all of you just smile. Exhausted Jolie struggles with twin demands. Are you kidding me? This woman and her partner donate millions of dollars to various worthy causes and you want us to believe you can’t hire a nanny so they can get some rest? Oh, they want to be the hands-on parents, okay? But someone else is doing the cooking and cleaning, all they gotta do (including her) is feed, burp, change and let the twins sleep. And in-between she can play with her other four kids – oh ya, I’m exhausted too!

Okay, enuff of this nonsense. Supposedly we shall see some afternoon showers – at least they are saying showers, not sprinkles! Who in hell wants sprinkles?

As for me I’m undecided – do I buy new twin bed spreads or leave the ones I have on the beds for another 5-10 years? Ya, even I think it’s time for a change – but I dislike shopping so I may put this off a bit longer.

Oh for those who care – I lost two pounds this week! Hey, after two weeks of no loss but no gain, this was wonderful news. After last weeks events (son home, anniversary celebrations, booze and lots of food) I figured if I maintained I’d be happy but to see a two pound loss, well, honey child, I’m over the moon (low moon, I’m not that tall).

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?”

Wind Advisory

Yup, the word is out that a wind advisory is in effect through late morning today. Guess what? A cold front continues to push across the north country this morning – huh? This is all associated with the remnants of hurricane Ike and winds gusts of 35 to 50 mph could occur as a result – however these winds will subside during the late morning and afternoon.

So grab your hats and put’em on the rack and stay inside – who in hell wants to fight winds on a Monday morning? I don’t even intend to take my walk this morning; it’ll be inside exercises this day my friends! It’s not the wind or cold front but the damn rain that makes walking unpleasant – ya, such an ole fuddy-duddy!

Football season is underway and my team, The Steelers, won yesterday and that makes me happy. I shan’t bore you with all the scores – hell, I’m only interested in my team anyway!

Has anyone noticed that all the Wal-Mart opponents have suddenly gone very quiet? Does this mean that because we now have a super Wal-Mart in Potsdam, they can’t gripe about it anymore or cause us to side with them in opposing this store? And are we to believe that those who were so adamant that it shouldn't be built, haven’t been inside, looked around and perhaps even made a purchase or two?

Progress is gonna happen and while it is sometimes hard to let go of the old “things” we must and shall move forward. Folks still shop in the downtown area, still buy from local merchants and they also shop at Wal-Mart, this is no different than when the Big N, Ames, etc was here – it’s just that now, once again, we got more options! I happen to like Wal-Mart and I think they have done a marvelous job training their employees – they are friendly, helpful, and courteous and I rarely see them standing around doing nothing—they are eager to help everyone! And guess what, even the bathrooms are clean and in my book, that says a lot about a store – clean bathrooms are a major plus in my book!

Ya I am rambling this morning – you noticed, didn’t ya? I don’t want the nice weather to end and yet, I can see that soon (damnit) it will be time to get into the winterizing mode. Putting all the patio stuff away for another year and hauling out the winter crap so it’s handy and ready for use. Don’t get me wrong, I like all the seasons, including winter but switching things around is just a pain in the ass!

Maybe more later – for now, sit down and give your mind a rest!

STORM STUFF

Rescue crews canvass neighborhoods inundated by storm surge after an estimated 140,000 Texans ignore order to flee hurricane. Why are folks unwilling to flee when experts tell them this is not a good place to remain? What in someone’s home and/or property is more important than their own lives? And as my son asked; upon hearing the water is rising, why do people rush to go into their attics or roof tops? Does the word “rising” have a different meaning to them?

Ike and other storms that are causing havoc all over the place are also seeing the end to our recent small reprieve in gas prices. Hell we are back to $4 a gallon if not more – hey, can’t move the trucks to haul the gas, hence the increase – duh!

Okay, sorry I’ve been away from my blog for a few days. I had the most wonderful surprise show up at my door Thursday (actually the surprise was due September 9th on our anniversary) and that surprise has kept me busy and thrilled for days? The surprise? My son was here to help us celebrate our 40th and neither I nor my husband knew about his arrival. The two kids plus my sister had been planning this for two months and somehow managed to keep their mouths shut about it – nobody let any hint of this escape or provide me with any speculation whatsoever.

So with Bubba here and my sister we have just had a good time and of course, consuming a few more drinks than we should but hey, we were not on the road, so therefore it was safe drinking! Sadly he departs today and will catch a plane Monday morning back to Minnesota – bummer. We shall see him and his family in December as we plan to spend Christmas with them.

Well, more another day folks – hang in there, I’ll write more with time permits. I’m still in enjoying my 40th anniversary surprise.

Here's my new grill, what ya think?

And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years!

Think About It------

I know we all have tried and endured various diet plans, right? And somewhere in the midst of all this we finally decide this one works or it’s better than any other tried, right?

We also got over the crap and realize that pills don’t work and we need to get off our lazy butts and move – so for many of us, this was simple – we started walking. Well, we always walked but now we walk for us and our health. We don’t race and we walk as far as we want and eventually we found ourselves enjoying this private time (or with friends) and slowly we noticed changes. Our clothes weren’t so tight, we weren’t catching our breath just moving across the room and hey, we started to lose weight! Our overall health and outlook was just more positive and for reasons we don’t really understand (we ain’t doctors) we have more energy and feel better!

Then we decided to start weighing ourselves – once a week we’d do this and what the hell, we’d even measure our stomach, hips, thighs and upper arms. And we picked a day of the week to do this and the day before our weigh-in we starved ourselves in the hope this would see a drop in weight! Hey, at first this was great but slowly we tossed aside that measuring business, and although we disliked the damn scale, as we dropped a few pounds, we decided this wasn’t such a bad animal after all. Okay, we’re into the zone now!

Wham! What the hell happened? We changed our eating habits, we used some daily point system, we drank lots of water, we walked (many of us at least 2 miles each day) and occasionally we blow it, we have an extra cookie or beer, but come on, one day of screwing up and we discovered we ain’t dropped one flippin pound all week? But hey, we didn’t gain any weight either, so that was good. HOWEVER, do we want to maintain at this weight?

HELL NO! So now what in hell do we do? Keep doing the same thing or change diets? Why we stick with the one we got and you know why? Because we ain't gaining and at some point, if we continue doing what we have been doing, we'll drop pounds and eventually get to that goal we set for ourselves. I'm not saying we set unrealistic goals, at least I didn't -- no way in hell I'm ever gonna be 6 pounds 13 ounces but hey, a little lighter would be nice!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Time for a topic change, don’t ya love how my mind flips and flops? Ya, like yours stays the course all the time – give me a break – stop smiling, we are more alike than different, fool!

Now here’s another way to look at the upcoming election.

A president's pension currently is $191,300 per year, assuming the next president lives to age 80. Sen. McCain would receive ZERO pension as he would reach 80 at the end of two terms as president. Sen Obama would be retired for 26 years after two terms and would receive $4,973,800 in pension.Therefore it would certainly make economic sense to elect McCain in November.

Say What?

Gotta love fog and water reflections, either makes you realize how peaceful life can be -- aw, isn't that sick!


Just a quick note, more to follow later -- what in hell is up with this 44 degree temp?

Ya, what happened to that lovely Indian Summer weather and temps? Man, we must have been really bad to get such strange weather.

And if you haven't driven through Norwood -- DON'T -- take back roads as they are paving Route 56 and that is one-lane traffic and you can definitely count on waiting. It's amazing how they'll snarl traffic and do this number by just churning up and spitting out last year's pavement and call it new stuff and next year, we can do again. Hey, ever think it might be wiser to ADD some stuff and make this pavement thicker so it would last longer? Oh, just a thought, silly me.

Well, time for my morning walk and this time, it'll be a walk in fog. Yup, damn foggy out there this morning. So, do I take my camera and get some fog shots or just try to keep out of everyone's way and not get run over? Listen if drivers are on the sidewalk, none of us are safe.



Now listen, slowly and carefully, they are NOT dentist -- yes, they drill but do you see a MOUTH? Didn't think so and lemma tell ya, this drilling is much louder too. They be serious about this work, no looking about with these guys!





Confucuis say: Man who run behind car get exhausted!

Write-in Candidate

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

1. “Press 1 for English” is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

2. We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart (http://www.walmart.com/>'s policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

3. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

4. All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

5. Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

6. Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion urinalysis and a passing grade.

7. Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

8. Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal; you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

9. One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

10. All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

11. The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

12. The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get.

Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!

4—TEE- YEARS

Finding that a tad hard to read – okay, try this FORTY YEARS – did that help? Good because today is our 40th anniversary – holy Martha!

Hard to believe that two young kids serving their country and in Vietnam, took time off to fly to Hawaii and got married, only to return to Nam to begin married life – and you all think your first year was exciting. Hey, sniper fire, bombings, monsoons, warm beer and somehow it was the beginning that had us saying; “we got no where to go but UP!”

And of course we get to celebrate the day with our ever present and lovely rain! Good thing we elected to celebrate this accomplishment on Sunday with a wonderful meal at Hotel Grande.

Let’s see what else has been happening around and about? Roger Federer won his 5th in a row US Open Tennis Title – and that my friends, is damn impressive. After a very dismissal year for Roger, this is his only grand slam win and put all those creatures who thought he was done back in their closets! Andy Murray (actually a Scot) is Britain’s hope these days as Tim retired. He’s 21 and as he matures and gets a bit more experience he’ll surely win slams as well.

And Brett Favre did damn nice on his opening game and the Jets won. Patriots won but lost Brady for the season – damn, football is gonna be interesting this year, eh?

Oh my goodness, Minnie Driver finally has given birth to a son – 9 pounds something – amazing. And she said; "I'm not getting married to this person and I don't know what's going to happen but everyone is cool about the situation," she said, adding, "Babies are endlessly fascinating to look at and I'm obsessed about their complete and utter lack of guile. I'm looking forward to seeing life through the eyes of my own kid." We’ll ask you about the poopie diapers later Minnie!

So as it’s raining like a banshee and no end in sight, it looks like a day to tackle inside jobs. I want to rearrange furniture, this always drives hubby nuts and I suppose I should dust and mop the kitchen floor – either job sucks in my book.

Have a fun day!

Confucius say: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Ear Infection

This is so true!

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to Lose!

Now this photo outta keep you guessing for a few minutes -- what the hell is this? I took this photo this morning and it just fascinated me (doesn't take much). Its foamy water -- amazing! And you thought it was a dirty bath tub, shame on you!

One of those days

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &Johnson ."

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry!

MY SPACE

Sometimes its just hard to know how to respond to comments or to show others how they can chat with me.

As I also have a myspace site, I'm gonna put that link here and we'll see what happens.

http://www.myspace.com/skyhighmama.

More tomorrow folks, Sunday is a day of rest -- or so some claim.

Yard Prep

As much as I dislike the idea that summer is over and Fall, well, it’s here and shows every indication of an Indian Summer, the sad fact remains – it is time to put things away, clean up the yard and do some fall planting! [aka winterize the damn place]

Yesterday, before it hit 90 degrees and while still “warm” from my walk, I pulled up my tomato plants. They were done and it was foolish to think they’d do more – so bye-bye, you’re outta here!

Because my tulips were so prutty last year, I have more to plant this year – don’t ask me why but I seem to attract tulip bulbs. By that I mean, people "give" them to me and my husband buys bulbs! However as some “critter” liked these babies just as they popped up and another would dig to get the bulb, I am gonna try something different. Now let me tell ya, red pepper flakes sprinkled about after the bulbs pop up does distract these critters but I want to make it harder for those bulb eaters!

Therefore, my plan is to get some chicken wire, plant the bulbs, make a cocoon with wire [kind of a wire covering if you will] and see if this keeps the critters away. Yup sounds like a lot of work, eh? Before I do this I also plan to get some top soil – I was gonna mix it in then plant, but hey, live dangerously, try something different, so the soil shall go on top and seep down over the winter months. What the hell, can’t hurt, right?

I’d like to plant some of these bulbs in the front but chicken wire in the front doesn’t look very attractive. Maybe the local nursery can give me other ideas – or more attractive deterrents! But as this looks like a “wet” Saturday, about all I can do is gather my materials and wait for nicer weather. In the meantime, I need to get hubby’s ass on the ladder and clean out the drain pipes which are currently growing small trees – yuck! I’d do this myself but can’t get the ladder unfolded and up, so I need his assistance. Hey, once he has the ladder up, he can damn well climb up there and clean those rain gutters, right? Ya, my thoughts exactly!

Confucius say: Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement!

Weigh-in

Oh sorry, this ain’t what you think – come on, I’d share my weight with you people – NEVER!

I’m sure parents who have school age children know this law but for me, someone who hasn’t sent a kid to school in decades, legislation passed in 2007, and went into effect this month, was an eye opener. This requires public schools outside of NYC to collect and report a summary of students’ weights and body mass indexes as part of an effort to combat childhood obesity. Hey whatever you measure you can improve – huh?

Doctors will now be required to test students when they come in for a student health certificate (which is mandatory) for attendance in NY state schools. Now the information will be confidential and collected at school entry and in 2nd, 4th, 7th and 10 grades. The data will be passed on to the state Department of Health unless parents ask to have the information excluded. Wait a second, how can a parent ask to have this information excluded, isn’t this required by legislation? OR does this mean if I object, the data on my kids is excluded? If that is the case, this is bogus, right?

Okay, let’s say nobody objects, after all they are not going to use names, right? Most likely it’ll be by area and school districts and/or schools. So they got all this data, now what? Will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars studying the data and what, eventually get a report that says; “In the data collected, 65% of NY schools have obese students.” Well, shit don’t we know that just by looking at these kids?

Is just me or do others think that maybe, just maybe instead of waiting for some researcher to tell us we got fat kids and an obesity problem, which we all ready know, that the funds would be better spent on an acceptable educational program. One that not only addresses but allows students to get involved in programs that result in changing their eating habits and participating in fitness programs that works for everyone not just the gifted athletes?

Damn what a concept! Are we so sure only adults know how to address this issue and kids aren't smart enough to offer us valid, useful information? Hello, they are the ones getting fatter and they'll end up like are fat asses (some not all of us okay) unless we become partners with them to make positive change! Are we gonna ask our kids to wait until they are older, like us, to realize they need to lose weight, that they're asking to not only die young but suffer due to extra strain they are putting on their heart? We need to get everyone together now and do something, screw the data crap --let's stop the fat!

Well I can’t wait for the next research project, can you? Maybe they’ll come up with one that tells us what sex we are – we obviously don’t this either! Damn I wish I was smart –being this dumb really hurts!

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everyone has the same size bucket!

WANNA DO

Remember when you were working (or still are) and you made these weekly “to do lists?” Okay, you made them daily aren’t you just flippin precious!

When you retire those to do lists kind of get tossed aside and it’s one of those retirement pleasure we all enjoy with a sadistic grin on our faces! Instead we have “wanna do, or gonna do” items and the best part, they have no particular time limit. Ain’t that a hoot? And I suppose if I was totally fair, retirees also have a "I ain't doing nuthin" list too. Now that one is a real hoot and we all love it!

Now you can call these “goals,” or “objectives,” or even “challenges,” but for me wanna do or gonna do works just fine – and does not have some horrible time line or deadline! In fact, it allows me to do things at my own pace, which is damn nice!

One of my “wanna do’s” this summer was to walk around Norwood Lake. I don’t mean the entire flippin lake,[that would mean around Norwood, into to Potsdam and who knows where else that sucker goes]--- get real, just the Norwood Lake Road – that road/street is some hike. Now in order to do this, you are going hike up a hill, either on Route 56 or the hill headed to the Norwood Beach[either one is a climb and a thigh workout!].

The first time I hiked up the Norwood hill toward Potsdam I thought I would fall in total exhaustion when I got to Ficacco’s garage, but nope, I managed to stay upright and continued on. Then instead of crossing by the Lobster House, I went up and over the dry Bridge (another flippin hill). Anyway, that hike was wonderful and I had blisters to prove it! This time went up the hill again and crossed over by the Lobster House. Now I could walk around but decided that was one long walk and it is damn muggy out there. So I cut through the woods behind my daughter’s house. This saved me a few steps not many but trust me at this point a few was most welcomed!

Hey, it took me an hour and half to hike this route and it is damn muggy out there and with my red face and sweaty body I was one beautiful sight to behold. Good thing beauty is in the eye of the beholder, because nobody would be beholding me this morning! Sweet Martha, this has to be worth more than 6 activity points?

Now I can claim I did one of the wanna do items – not only did I do it but I did it twice – yes, I count going up and over the bridge – what the hell same distance, just a different route and more hills on the bridge route!

I am truly hoping all this walking will help me with my quest to conquer cross country skiing. I have purchased shorter skis and I still need to buy ski boots but hey, I am determined to master this activity. I did downhill skiing for years (okay it has been a few since I last skied but nonetheless, I do know how to ski. However, down hill and X-country are not the same as I learned last year. Oh yes, I could take lessons but what in hell would the fun in that be? I prefer my "fall and rise" method. I'm not gonna set any records but then, I'm just out there moving my fat ass around and trying to keep active -- not become some accomplished XC skier -- give me a break!


I will still snowshoe, as that is great fun and a nice workout but I really think cross-country skiing is super-duper and I want to do it – hey, you gotta have “wanna do or gonna do” items or you’ll go bonkers – or worse, you’ll sit inside, eat and gain weight. Hell, I can look at food and gain weight, so imagine if I eat too – holy Martha.

Hey, you all have a grand ole day – kids definitely went back to school today – I know many a Mom is doing the back-to-school dance.

Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it!

Just Smile

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said, 'This is for washing our hair.'

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.'The curlers are on me.'

YOUNG CHUCK

Young Chuck, moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.

'Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked, 'what ya gonna do with him?Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked,
'What happened with that dead horse?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a net profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?

'Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

Chuck grew up and now works for the government

Just News

Wow, politics just gets more – what is a good word – invasive, as more and more stuff is brought to our attention.

Now we hear that Palin’s 17 year old daughter is pregnant, plans to keep the baby and marry the father! Gee, is that supposed to cause us major concern or what?

Stop it. Unmarried 17-year-old girls get pregnant every day in this country — too many of them — and they come from strong, healthy families, and broken, dysfunctional families, and conservative families and liberal families. Bristol’s pregnancy says nothing about Sarah Palin’s suitability to be the next vice-president just as Obama’s youthful cocaine use, or his middle name, says nothing about his suitability to be the next president.

Hey I am not saying who to vote for or that one candidate has something better to offer than the other, frankly my dear, so far I haven’t heard much about either that is helping me decide but we got lots of campaigning ahead of us and hopefully, we’ll get some real issues on the table!

Okay, on to other tidbits – Couple exchange vows in Funeral Home! And this footnote – bride was not crept out [and yes she can see and hear!] Now you can sleep easy, this rates right up there with “heard it all!”


Oh wait – there is more, ready? LONDON (AP) -- Oscar-winning British actress Helen Mirren said she used to love cocaine, but stopped taking the drug after learning that a Nazi war criminal profited from the trade, according to a magazine.

The 63-year-old, who won an Academy Award for her role in "The Queen," was quoted by GQ magazine as saying she used to dabble in marijuana and cocaine when she was younger.
"I loved coke. I never did a lot, just a little bit at parties," Mirren was quoted as telling the magazine in an interview, which was made available to the media Monday. "But what ended it for me was when they caught (Nazi war criminal) Klaus Barbie, the Butcher of Lyon, in the early 80s. He was hiding in South America and living off the proceeds of being a cocaine baron.

"And I read that in the paper, and all the cards fell into place, and I saw how my little sniff of cocaine at a party had an absolute direct route to this ... horrible man in South America," she was quoted as saying. [no additional comment, imagine!]

And I'm fixing stuffed green peppers for dinner and wonder what in hell am I thinking, doing something so bloody normal!

Labor Day

I don’t think many of us think about or even know why we have this holiday and yet, we look forward to it and enjoy it very much. Traditionally, Labor Day is celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer. Ya, and the yellow bus will soon come along and our children will be back in school –hurrah!

However, Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September. And guess what, it was a holiday originated in 1882 as the Central Labor Union (of New York City) sought to create a day off for the working citizens!” Congress made Labor Day a federal holiday in 1894. All 50 states have made Labor Day a state holiday. Not bad for a bunch of workers wanting a day off, eh?

And the US Tennis Open continues and we still have some top players in the game. Federer is hoping to win at least one slam this year and retain his US Open crown but he’s got a few guys who think it’s time to pass that along to someone else. Nadal is hot and he could easily take the prize but let’s not forget our American boy, Andy Roddick. He hasn’t won a slam since 2003 (and that was the US Open) and he’s long over due. He has switched coaches more than some switch socks but finally he is starting to listen and try some new tactics. Oh he’s got a monster serve but ya gotta back that up with ground strokes and he needs to mix it up – he’s to damn predictable.

So it’s gonna be a warm day, if the weather reports are valid, we should see temps in the 80s, oh ya, baby, we can handle that – we want the heat. And many of us will be firing up the grills and you’ll smell food cooking big time. Whatever you do, relax and enjoy it – the summer fun is ending but hey Autumn has it’s own brand of fun too.

Oh one last thing, school starts soon (like tomorrow) and that means the buses will be out and about. The kids need YOU and I to watch out and not run them down. Trust me they are not going to be looking left or right as they cross a road or rush to a bus stop (or just drag their feet strolling to the stop). That means we gotta watch out and not run them down. Eventually they'll get back into the habit of looking, stopping and crossing when safe but for now, well, they need some help from us adults.

So, let's slow down, be patient, and give our kids a chance to see many more days on this planet.