Tiny Cabin

THE TINY CABIN

A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to Mountains of North Carolina and was on first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.

"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.

"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.

"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.

"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.

"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.

"But," protested the social worker, "are you never together as a family?"

"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!"

Government workers are so very smart. Aren't you overjoyed that they'll soon be handling all our financial, educational and medical dilemmas?

Ya like you didn't laugh at this one -- sadly it seems like it really could happen, doesn't it?

The temp says 37 degrees, it did snow last night and it did rain and the road looks a bit slick but I have yet to check to ascertain whether or not schools are delayed, closed or still wondering what to do.

Yes, I hear ya, I too am getting a tad weary of these winter storms and just want the warmer weather to arrive.  March is definitely roaring like a lion so maybe May will be "lamb like" weather?  Hey did any of you visit Price Chopper in Potsdam lately?  Ye gads, its like a deep freeze in there -- someone should tell them to turn the damn heat on or something.









Snowing In Minnesota

Hey, snow at this time of year is even strange for this neck of the woods and you know, that first snow is always special...usually because its light and ain't gonna stick...that's special!!!

All fine here in Warroad, grand kids are good, keeping me busy and driving me nuts at times but it's all good stuff. I do lots of homework Monday thru Thursday, and then, more over the weekend...no school here on Friday's. Hey, the school voted for a 4-day school week, longer days and no school on Friday as a cost saving thingy. Not sure that is working as both parents and teachers dislike this new schedule. The folks reaping the benefits are those running day care --ya think?

Oh for those keeping track,my son is doing okay. Treatments are awkward at times, making him very tired and he sleeps alot. But he is doing great. This is the longest they have been away from their kids and I don't know who bawls more when the call, the kids or them.







On the home front, I am proud to announce my daughter has had her baby. He came early, a month early (sick of that small apartment); currently in a hospital in Syracuse but all is fine. He is a beautiful little boy, head full of black hair and man, is he loved by his parents and Grandma is anxious to see and hold him too. Like I said, he came a month early, weighed in at 5.5 and doing nicely..no lungs problems and eating up a storm. He'll be headed to his own bed and home real soon.

Yes, congrats and welcome Clint -- there's an exciting world for you to explore and see, it's gonna be a blast.

Keep smiling folks, I'll be doing Grandma duty tomorrow night as I take grandkids out to trick or treat, the other Grandma is driving the getting away car -- we got this covered big time.

Best Put Down Line Ever

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.

Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over.

A Pleasant Past Time - the News

“Woman thrown out of C-P Hospital”

POTSDAM, NY - Potsdam Village Police indicate that they had to remove a woman from the Canton-Potsdam Hospital early this morning.
Police allege that Natasha S. Cook, 29, of Norfolk was refusing to leave the Canton-Potsdam Hospital emergency room and that she was using obscene language.
Cook was issued tickets for Trespass and Disorderly Conduct and ordered to appear in Potsdam Village Court on August 12th, 2009.

Okay, as you read this I wonder if your thoughts are running along the same lines as mind. This is a hospital; they have “things” to give someone to calm them down and supposedly medical personnel to deal with distraught, unreasonable and confused individuals. But C-P had to call the police to remove the woman and then issued tickets…damn, we live in a strange society!

“Woman Charged With Fake Labor”

CANTON, NY - St. Lawrence County Sheriff's Deputies have arrested Jamie L. Nichols, 26, of Ogdensburg.
On June 23rd, 2009, Nichols was arrested on a St. Lawrence County Court warrant in Ogdensburg and taken to the St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility.
Police say that while she was being booked into the facility Nichols stated she was pregnant and that it was a "high risk" pregnancy due to previous miscarriages. Police say that she further claimed that she was in labor and that her 'water' had broken.
Nichols was taken to Canton Potsdam Hospital where it was determined that she was not in labor and that her 'water' was actually urine.
Police allege that the incident was faked and are further investigating her claimed miscarriages. She was charged with 3rd-Degree False Reporting of an Incident and issued an appearance ticket.

Doesn't this just scream: what warrant? I mean you had to read this twice to understand why she was arrested in the first place, right? Damn must have been a slow news day!

Smart Food Choices Boost your Brain Power

I’m not gonna bore ya with all the research and medical stuff, I will merely list what is now being taunted as smart food choices that boost your brain power…ready? Here we go:

1. Molluscs: Clams and oysters
   
2. Berries: Blueberries and strawberries
3. Cruciferous vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage
   
4. Fatty fish: Salmon, mackerel and herring
5. Green leafy vegetables: Spinach, kale and chard
   
   Feeding the fire.

When it comes to brain health, it’s not only the foods you eat, but when you eat them that matters. The brain is an organ with high-energy needs, so it requires a steady source of fuel for optimal performance — that means regularly spaced meals and snacks. Skipping meals and eating at irregular times robs the brain of much needed energy and can affect short term brain functions such as memory, concentration and mood.

One of the most important meals when it comes to brain function is breakfast. The morning meal is an ideal time to stock up on important nutrients that supply the brain with much needed energy after the overnight fast. It’s not surprising that numerous studies have shown that people who eat breakfast are better able to pay attention and concentrate throughout the day compared to those who skip the first meal of the day.

Okay, Tuesday is here, it is raining, light at the moment and I’m waiting to ascertain if and when I can get in my morning walk. If no walk, I’ll just fire up the Wii program and do one of those sweating exercising programs. Hopefully, the rain will cease and I can get outside.

Hey, keep smiling okay?

Just Stuff

Yup, Moose remains "king of the hill," and that's only fair and just.

Today I just grabbed various headlines and made a few comments to share with you...nothing all that exciting.

Waiting to see if it's gonna rain and if so, that screws up my plan for this afternoon...oh well, nap are still good!

Susan Boyle has been all over the news and it is refreshing to see a “normal, everyday, down to earth” individual bringing all of us back to reality. And man can she sing – what an amazing voice. Now she has to deal with her new look and all the crap this has created – Damnit, leave the woman alone!

Study says kids who watch adult TV may have sex earlier –

Researcher David Bickham said: "When kids watch media with sex and innuendos, they are more likely to engage in sexual activity earlier in life." He advises worried parents to ban TVs from kids' bedrooms, limit screen time to two hours a day and watch shows with their children.

Excuse me, but this is considered news? This line of reality has been around a long time and once again, some asswipe is making a case for himself and what, justifying his research dollars – hello, get a life!!!

Kirstie Alley: 'Yes, I Gained 83 Pounds'

Say and think what you want about this gal but Damnit she is real – like none of this stuff happens to us average folks, like bloody hell. Hey, all those prepared meal diets are great if you can afford the price of those meals and it is proportioned, prepared meals that you can do yourself with a little reading and time. Hey, Kirstie claims she will lose this weight and I for one believe her. You know what, give her a chance, she is just like the rest of us, up and down, fat, slim, heavy, light, come on, who in hell said because she’s an actor she can’t have weight issues, for crying out loud!!! Screw Jenny, Kirstie, go for Weight Watchers!!!

So on the weather front it sure as hell looks and feels like rain and according to our weather personnel, damp weather is gonna be with us for the rest of week and weekend -- oh sure, Mom's day will be wet -- what else is new!

Keep smiling folks -- life is good!

Ed Freeman

Pray that there are more like him to help our troops now !

You're an 19 year old kid. You're critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley , 11-14-1965, LZ X-ray, Vietnam . Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8 - 1, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.

You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns, and you know you're not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 2,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.

Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an un-armed Huey, but it doesn't seem real, because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.

Ed Freeman is coming for you. He's not Medi-Vac, so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come.

He's coming anyway. And he drops it in, and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the Doctors and Nurses. And, he kept coming back.... 13 more times..... And took about 30 of you and your buddies out, who would never have gotten out.

Medal of Honor Recipient, Ed Freeman, died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise, ID .May God rest his soul...

I bet you didn't hear about this hero's passing, but we sure were told a whole bunch about some Hip-Hop Coward beating the crap out of his "girlfriend"

Medal of Honor Winner Ed Freeman!

Shame on the American Media!

WHAT THE HEEL?

Colonel Sanders pulled from river after 24 years

TOKYO - He was covered in mud when pulled from the river, and had lost both legs and hands, not to mention his glasses. But Colonel Sanders still had his trademark smile, 24 years later. [It’s a statute, did we really think someone wipe that smile off?]
A statue of the KFC mascot has been found in a river in Osaka, a city official said Wednesday, nearly a quarter century after being tossed in by crazed baseball fans who felt the image of restaurant founder Harland Sanders resembled a key team member.
"He was apparently found standing upright, which is fitting, because although he was a nice man he could also be very strict and demanding," said Sumeo Yokakawa, a spokeswoman at the chain's Tokyo headquarters.

Ernie Davis statue is back — without Nike cleats

SYRACUSE, N.Y. - Five months after it was removed to correct historic inaccuracies, a statue of former Syracuse University running back Ernie Davis is back on campus.
The permanent memorial to the first black Heisman Trophy recipient, created by sculptor Bruno Luchessi, was re-installed Tuesday morning.
The life-size statue depicts Davis, known as “The Elmira Express,” standing in his Syracuse uniform holding a helmet under his left arm and a football in his right hand. [now everyone can sleep better, aren’t you glad to learn this, thought so – watch that mouth!]

Amid salmonella fears, peanut butter sales drop
[Oh this one is brilliant, absolutely brilliant]

MILWAUKEE - The nation's consumers, worried about the widespread salmonella outbreak, continued to shy away from peanut butter in a recent four-week period, according to new sales numbers.
Americans bought 41.8 million pounds of jarred peanut butter in the four-week period ending Feb. 21 — 13.3 percent less than in the same period the previous year, research firm Nielsen reported Tuesday.
The period's sales were the lowest of any in the three years Nielsen has tracked the U.S. food, drug, and mass merchandisers segment, which includes Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the nation's largest retailer.

What they thought we were stupid? Give me a break – salmonella and you think we’d still not only buy peanut but consume it too? Damn, no wonder we got such issues…who in hell is looking at this stuff anyway – someone who has gotten rich and could careless what the product has or doesn’t have these days?

Chris Brown and Rihanna

Sweet Martha we got everyone advising these two clowns. But the most important thing they are saying is, “once a man hits you,he WILL hit you again.” The next thing is to remind her to take care of herself first and don’t sweat a damn thing about this woman beater. Personally I am sick of reading about this crap – if you want to send a message, send his ass to jail! I don’t care who you are, beat up a woman, get caught, do the time…what’s to discuss?


WEATHER TRICKS?

I know, we got this nasty little habit of saying "don't like the current weather, wait five minute and it will change," duh! But this recent up and down weather scene is truly amazing.

First I woke up to a downpour and it was bloody ass dark outside. Ya, I know we pushed the clocks forward and 7 it actually 6, but damn 7:30 was pretty damn dark too.

Then we hear that "sun may show this afternoon. However, we are in a flood watch and high wind advisory too. In addition, temps will fall and by tonight we may be in the teens." What the heel is going on around here! Don't ask -- it's just March.

I gotta tell ya, that wind is really whipping out there and I have all ready seen a few branches snap and fear the older trees may tip or fall too. Majestic oaks just can't withstand this much wind and cold weather -- and with all the damage done by weather and insects, these trees are major targets for a wood pile!

Sadly the school shooting has seen its latest scene in Germany. What in hell is going on with these kids? Each generation has its issues, its sense that adults are out of touch with today's world but damnit, we did not kill each other, blow up a school or harm innocent people. I just don't get it but then, neither does anyone else. You just don't know when sheet like this will happen and it happens from all sorts of economic backgrounds, not just the poor or down-trodden. Hells bells we got rich kids going bonkers too.

Okay your motivational tip of the day:

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

REASONS

You know sometimes you just have to realize there was or is a reason why something was or was not possible. Or a reason why something is or is not done. Yeah, like this is news to anyone…fun to say this crap but it’s pretty normal, right?

For two years I have been “trying” to cross country ski and I have given it a very dedicated effort. I did realize that I needed a shorter ski, that ten foot board in front of this 5 foot body was just too much. I also accepted the reality that cross country skiing was a lot different than downhill skiing, which I have and can do. But this cross country stuff just escapes me (ya, I know, look for a smaller country). Now I discover my not getting it may have been a good thing. Consider this, in Bangor, Maine cross country skiers are being targeted by at least one ornery and territorial owl. It seems this great horned owl swoops down from a tree with talons outstretched and smacks them on the head. So, my learning curve has just gone up!

Can’t afford to buy your own house? Well, here’s an idea – have 8 kids, become Octu-MOM and let dear ole Daddy or some “Daddy” buy you a home. Of course this is after your (1) are famous for having this many babies, (2) ostracized for being so stupid as to get pregnant when you all ready have 6 kids at home and (3) supposedly have $50,000 in college loans to payoff. But hey, if you can survive all this and the “judgment” of the entire world, you might just get a new home. Oh ya, I see ya rushing the fertility clinic – slow down, it’s closed!

Now this next “reason” is gonna make ya smile – well, maybe it’ll make you smile. Seems Utah needs to boost tourism so guess what – they’re gonna open bars to the public. Say what? You see, currently you had to be a member of a private club system, pay a fee to enter the bar or be the guest of someone in the club. And you wonder why folks live in that state – can you say Mormon?

Okay, enuff of this nonsense. I guess my days of walking without crampons are not here yet. So I need to strap those on, get my coat, hat, and gloves and of course my trusty camera and head out of my morning walk. Let’s see, its 25 degrees – makes for a brisk walk, right? Unfortunately it’s also slick so no real pace can be set as ice slows me down to almost a crawl. Have I mentioned this before “the only good ice is in a glass?”

More later….Tuesday should be an interesting day…haven’t looked at the daily weather forecast but any time we’re above ground is a good day, right?

You keep smiling Sunshine!

THE WEIRD CONTINUES

The only reason the photo is there is so you KNOW who in hell this woman is -- like you care!

Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault after allegedly punching a fan at a posh charity ball in London.

So what happened this time? Seems she changed her mind, imagine, she changed her mind. First she agreed to pose for photos but changed her mind and hit the singer in the eye instead while screaming, “Life can’t go on. I can’t do this anymore!” [stop you can't scream that on this blog, potty mouth!]


CHRIS BROWN CHARGED

Chris Brown has been charged with assault and making criminal threats following the appalling attack on his girlfriend Rihanna.
Brown however did not enter a plea to the charges at Los Angeles Superior Court. He could face up to four years in prison if convicted.
Brown, 19, was dressed in a sober grey suit, white shirt and tie and said nothing but to confirm his name.

And this is the same jerk that Rihanna has now taken back into her life – what she likes beatings? Hey, girl, wake up before this jerk does some truly serious damage to you – like ends your life!!! The decisions of some people just freakin amaze me!


MICHEAL JACKSON

Michael Jackson was greeted by hundreds of screaming fans when he announced his 10 dates at London's O2 Arena yesterday afternoon.
The King of Pop was at the southeast London venue, formerly known as the Millennium Dome, to reveal he was making his comeback. Are we ready for another round of Jacko? I mean this is getting a tad old and lately the tabloid rumor mill has him dealing with a flesh eating skin disease…ya right! Can you say, "no more thriller Jacko, we be done with you and your crap?"

£100,000 spent on toilets and beds for fat people

Almost £100,000 has been spent on reinforced beds and toilets for fat people at just one NHS authority. [I’m guessing this means a British nursing home].

The cash has bought items such as 12 beds, 30 chairs and 67 extra-strong toilet seats, at £400 each, over three years in Islington, North London. Anita Rush, a nurse specializing in obese care, said: "This sort of cost is not unusual. Most of it is bespoke." [Bespoke? What a clever word!]

But Matthew Elliot, of the Taxpayers' Alliance, said: "It's not fair that if you live healthily, your only reward is to pay a bill for other people who couldn't be bothered." [This guy sounds more like an American than a Brit – want some cheese with that wine?]

END OF THAT -- WE GOT ENOUGH OTHER THINGS TO ENJOY

Ever wonder what happens to all those Xmas trees you took to the curb? Well, here they are -- want'em back? Oh they'll get put thru the chipper and little blocks of wood will be used to make paths or some such nonsense. Ya, they will get recycled!!!

Okay, it is Friday and unless you refuse to move from your cave, have no way to get the news or check on the outside world, its 50 degrees out there! Yes, 50 degrees. Okay, there is a light sprinkle and later it might actually rain hard but come on people, 50 degrees! Damn that is wonderful. Yes, of course there's a breeze but that makes a wind chill of around 40 degrees -- we can handle that, right? Hey, let's just remember, Spring is coming and soon, tulips will start popping up!

As for me, I am still amazed that I was able to capture two woodpeckers on film, yesterday. I want to rush to the same site with my bigger camera and try again but I fear this was a one time deal and I got what I got. Still it was cool and I enjoyed watching them.

Oh sheet, Sunday Daylight Savings Time Begins...remember to set your clock forward -- yes "spring forward, fall back." Go the other way and you'll really have some explaining to do.

Here's your brain motivational tip of the day:

Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

IN THE NEWS

First things first, right? Once again Mother Nature has us scratching our heads and thinking, “you fickle ole lady, what in hell is up with you?”

Come on, we go from 59 degrees to 26 degrees within an hours time span and then, just to insure we are watching, she spits out snow too! By morning the temp was a lovely 1.6 degrees but she pleases us with sunshine! Now this is how we shall end February and that is that!

You know there’s a saying I used when teaching, “Stupid Is Forever, Ignorance I can Fix,” and baby, we got a lot of stupid around! Here let me give ya a few looks at stupidity:

• You may not know this young woman, but she is very attractive, has a great voice and overall just a sweetheart – ya I’m talking about Rihanna. Now her boyfriend beat the living crap out of her and the whole world was shocked and immediately was thinking, “Chris baby you are done, no more of your beating on our girl, get lost sucker.” But wait, he assaulted her on Feb 8th and now they are back together? I told ya; stupid is forever, ignorance we can fix. Ya fool, keep hanging with this woman-beater, sounds like a fun relationship if you like being hurt!

• Now this one really is stupid. Dublin, Ireland is suggesting that when nature calls at 30,000 feet, you’ll need $1.40 to pee and get this; you need this exact amount, no change available! Now get this, installing pay toilets would lower ticket costs and make flying, somehow, easier for all. Yes, I told ya, stupid is on the rise! Can you imagine the indignation and potty humor this suggested when announced? Damn it had to be a slow news day, right?

• Let’s get a tad closer to home. It seems the village of Potsdam is once again going after our “toilet-artist” and plans to haul his ass into court if he fails to clean up his yard. Now the last time this was thrown out because of an error in filing or some such crap, so is “stupid” correcting this error this go around? In the meantime Robar just keeps smiling and doesn’t seem the least bit concerned….gotta love his attitude!

• In honor of Nadya Suleman, the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal: You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill!

Yes, life is good and hey, this is the last day of February. Can you dig it, tomorrow we begin another month – mighty March.

Here’s your brain exercise for today:

Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

[remember those damn algebra classes? Or how about diagramming sentences, those were my absolutely faves!]

ANOTHER THIS & THAT

Now Maxine really has the answer.

So, even if you believe that the American auto industry, credit/banking/mortgage businesses, airlines, etc. are too important to allow to fail, good old Maxine will make you stop and think twice about going ahead with some of the bail out schemes......

BAIL EM OUT!

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey.

~~~~~~~~~

On my walk this morning, as usual I let my mind (stop laughing, I do have one) wander and contemplate all sorts of things. When a 13-year old girl gets pregnant and has a baby, nobody really pays much attention…I mean, some social worker may get involved but it’s pretty low key news. However, when a 13-year-old allegedly fathers a baby, he’s gonna undergo DNA testing! Slap me with a wet noodle ---we finally realize both sexes are sexual active -- what a novel concept and it took us how long to figure this out? Sweet Mama!

Look, I don’t always get all the news stuff, I mean some of this sheet is damn confusing and missing points as far as I’m concerned. For the last few years (yes few years) Potsdam Hospital has been buying homes that nobody else wanted, nobody else would repair, rebuild or even occupy and nobody gave squat about. These are not homes located on Grove Street or the street by the high school, these are homes located behind the ole Nursing Home!

Certain well meaning citizens have decided this is wrong, these home need to be save ( huh) or something has to be done to stop the hospital from expanding and offering even more medical care (huh). It's not really about saving these houses (my opinion only here) but stopping the hospital from expanding. I'm just having a hard time following this thinking.

Here’s a novel concept, let them expand (like we’re gonna stop them) but let’s make a big roar and demand that they MUST increase the hospital parking lot! Come on, this is what we really want along with expanded service, right? Do you really give a rip about those ole houses? You didn’t want them, never even gave them a second look but now, now we got this crap happening and let’s use it to our advantage. Imagine adequate parking – hey, I don’t know about you but circling the current parking lot for 30 minutes to get a parking space is not my idea of efficient gas use!

On the weather front it would appear that Wednesday may see us with some slippy [gotta love that word--slippy!] weather – snow, rain, sleet and well, slippy stuff, duh? Well, for those of you who thought we were headed for an early thaw, go back into your dens, it ain’t gonna happen. According to those caterpillars we got at least one more big storm before this winter madness ends.

Oh for those keeping track, I bought yet another bird feeder and different bag a bird seed – I’m telling ya, these birds have got a major spread to choose from and they need only to get their little beaks over here. I do have two who show up pretty regular but I think they are dating and not telling their friends about this dining facility. Ya, patience will be –what – more birds?

Have a grand day - the sun is shining, so you might want to get outside and get some very needed vitamin D!!!

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES

Interesting and sadly true. 'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement ...

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust. His wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

MORE NEWS NONSENSE

Okay, so this is what happened to the ONE bird that stopped by my feeders on Monday.Got so damn fat and over-stuffed that the flock insisted he do some heavy workouts to get back in shape.

And also, they hope he’ll tell where he ate but so far, he is keeping his beak shut extremely tight! Silly bugger!!

HARRY’S IN TROUBLE AGAIN

Poor Prince Harry, he can’t seem to say or do anything right these days and at his Dad’s 60 birthday celebration a talented and highly respected black comedian entertained Prince Charles. Afterwards while saying how much they enjoyed the performance, Harry stuck his foot in his mouth with his remark; “you don’t sound like a Black man.” Oh Harry, me boy, you gotta learn “head down, mouth shut,” and soon!

THIS TIME I MEAN IT

Favre has informed the Jets he is retiring after 18 seasons in the NFL, FOXSports.com has confirmed, ending a record-setting career in which he was one of the NFL's premier quarterbacks. Okay, time to raise your hands, how many believe him? Will the Packers take him back and keep him from retiring – damn, sports can be fun!

WAKE UP OLE WOMAN

Vitamins Do Older Women Little Good. Study finds they don't reduce risk of cardiovascular disease, cancer. Hey, I think I said this way back when----- that taking vitamins was a waste of money, in one hole and out another – hello, why didn’t you listen! Now you can save money and stop with the vitamins. If you EAT healthy foods you get all the vitamins you need – is that hard to comprehend?

AND FOR HER BIRTHDAY -- DRUM ROLL......

Now this one takes the top billing in my book. Your girlfriend, wife or significant other is about to celebrate her 40th birthday and you need to find her a present, right? Well, sheet; just pen her song and you’re golden. Who said John Mayer was a tightwad and that Jennifer Aniston should dump his sorry ass? I got one for ya Jenn: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Dump John now he’s a total DO-DO! (dog poop).

YOU CAN DO IT -- I DID( I think)

Listen, you need a new hobby, right? Okay, here’s the story, 500 dolphins are stranded off Bataan, that’s in the Philippines and its warmer there, and they could use your help, so get off your lazy ass and get over there and help! Oh come on, their stranded at a shallow portion off the coast of Bataan, not out in the flippin ocean. You can do this – think of the fun you’ll have and the stories you’ll tell everyone when you get back! Look at that mountain goat, he didn't think he could do it but he did, so can you!

With just a little planning, you too can jump HIGH!

Look who stopped by in the rain and fog? And s/he brought a friend. That makes two that find my feeders enjoyable---but they only show up in the late afternoon -- shy little buggers!

SHAKE YOUR HEAD

Doesn't this just look peaceful and COLD? Well, it is and yes, its bloody cold too. However, there's something about a Feb thaw that just brings a giggle to the throat or a choke, your choice.

HERE GOES - GET READY TO SHAKE

Wow, this stuff just gets scary by the minute. Now we are learning the company “knew” the peanuts were contaminated and still sent the product!

Look, you can search the Internet and get all the latest recall listings but let’s make this easy on everyone – anything that has any peanuts or peanut butter – TOSS IT OUT! Look I hate to waste food and some of this stuff I actually like eating but you know what, I don’t care to take any chances with this stuff. So, out goes the trail mix, snack bars, peanut butter jars and anything else that contains peanuts in any shape or form.

You want to deal with salmonella poisoning, you just keep that stuff and hope like hell the batch you got is good, as for me, it’s not worth it. Hey, jelly without peanut butter works too!!!

How about this CEO SALARIES TO BE CAPPED

I wanna be a CEO and have my salary capped at $500,000. Afterall, it was partly my fault (ok, all my fault) that the bank or this big corporation failed but damnit, I gotta live, right? And if you do, well, it makes it possible for me to return the favor in say 10 or 12 years and I can again, screw up a business and go for another bail out. Oh ya, America is the place for me! Hey, why don’t we give these clowns all the recalled Peanuts?

TEMPERATURE

My eye sight is really going bad this morning, my temp READS 41 degrees! Is that freakin possible in February? Well, I guess so because it’s happening and of course, the weather brainsicks are saying we shall have rain today too – duh!

Plus, no birds showed up at my feeders yesterday, damn, and I was so excited that ONE bird did actually stop by and feasted on Monday. However there are a couple crows cawing away out there and who in hell knows what they are saying – one thing I do NOT want is crows in the feeders.

Well, I’m off to Curves and if the weather holds, I shall come back and take a nice walk too. Hey, if the sidewalks clear up, no crampons needed and I can get a good pace going without freak of falling on my arse. More later.

Lemme ask ya, does the term "crampon" make you shake your head or wonder "what the hell is wrong with women now, a crampon?" In case your brain ain't working, its those thingys you strap on your boots that grab into the ice and help prevent you from falling. Some folks call they yaktracks. I personally think grab-ons makes more sense than crampons but hey, I wasn't asked -- imagine!

WELL OR FARE?

Okay, let’s keep this woman in the headlines a bit longer. Here’s the latest on the Octo-Mommy. [you know the woman who gave birth to 8 kids and has six at home, making a total of 14 kids under one roof -- ah, now you remember]

Supposedly she is currently getting $490 a month in food stamps. Three of her first six kids are disabled, so she also gets federal public assistance for that as well.

During her interview with Ann Curry on Today, Octo-Mommy denied that she was a welfare mommy. She doesn’t think food stamps and public assistance counts as being on welfare. She went on to say, She doesn't SEE that as welfare, because all she sees is millions of babies dancing around in her eyes cooing, "Birth me, Angelina! Birth me, Angelina!"

I think she needs a dictionary or even Wikipedia and then, she can look up the word WELFARE. What in hell does she think this word means?

In addition, Octo-Mommy said she is going back to school to get her masters in counseling (excuse me, diaper sheet is still sheet), so she could take care of her many children. She also said, "I will do the best I possibly can. In my own way, in my own faith, I do believe wholeheartedly that God will provide in his own way."

Why am I thinking “and by God she means ME and YOU”

Here’s another story that needs to find another roosting place and get away from us sane people – mother of mercy, give it up!!!

~~~~~WAIT I GOT MORE -- HOLY SHEET

Fat mother 'killed son by sitting on him'

An overweight mum has been accused of suffocating her son by sitting on his chest.

Lakeesha Brown, 28, told police in Kansas City, Missouri, she accidentally rolled on the seven-year-old as he slept in her bed.

But after they found other injuries on his body, Brown was charged with murder and child abuse.

Okay, I gotta get me a beer, this news is just too much ---come on, why are you smiling! I didn't make this shit up, it actually happened!

WAY TOO MUCH INFO

So did you make a snowman yesterday or not? Someone got real busy and came up with this guy and made the point that they are sick of snow!

Quite a message, eh?

Some days it just doesn’t pay to read the news but other days, well, some of the stuff is worth a good giggle if nothing else. Now if you are dealing with or suffering from Cabin Fever, here’s a new thing to try.

Naked mountain hiking! Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Seems this is a popular German tradition and after a wave of naked hiking – this small Swiss village has announced that in the future, naked hikers will face on the “spot” fines of 200 Swiss francs, which is approximately 170 US dollars. The village wishes to protect their youth from these immoral habits. Hey, this is the same village which gave women the right vote only in 1990. Ya, I wanna live here!

MILKMAN DELIVERS

Oh ya gotta like this milkman -- LONDON - A British prosecutor says an elderly milkman supplied customers with cannabis as well as bottles of milk. Robert Holding, 72, delivered marijuana as he made his daily rounds in the town of Burnely, in northwestern England.

Prosecutor Sarah Statham said Friday that Holding offered the drug to elderly customers suffering from aches and pain. She says the customers left Holding notes on their doorsteps to order the drug.
According to Britain's dairy industry, around 1.5 million British homes have milk delivered by a milkman. Deliveries have declined over the last 20 years. Holding pleaded guilty to supplying the drug and was given suspended jail sentence of 36 months. Even the Brits got a wicked sense of humor!

And to think, it’s just MONDAY! Holy sheet, this is gonna be one interesting week.

~~~~~~~

So, how are those lovely New Year resolutions coming along? Sticking to that diet, right? Haven’t lost a freakin pound but it's not your fault, its that damn bathroom scale that never did work properly! You have cut down on your food intake, you even moved your ass a few times aka exercised and still you haven't lost one stinkin pound. So, you said screw it, and blew the whole diet and the resolution, right? What now? Do you "re-oath" the resolution or find a new one? Me, I'd go for a new one -- the old one sucked, who'd want to keep that sucker!

It's a proven fact that we tend to eat more and gain weight in the winter months and even if we exercise and watch what we eat, it will be harder to maintain or lose weight. However, and I honestly like this concept, staying fit is what matters. Being able to walk, bend and fit into jeans is more appealing than screaming "I lost ONE POUND this week."

Hey, if you feel good, you're moving and keeping even a half way active life style, smile and know life is good. More later -- time to find that donut!

FEB AIN’T GONNA BE DULL

Give up? It's the Norwood Bridge -- different angle but still the Norwood Bridge.

Love the fog and ice and the design, who'd of thunk!!!

Ya, just keep looking at it -- does amaze ya, huh?

I don’t know folks, there are times when I read some news story, either on line or in the local paper and I just cannot believe this is actually happening. I mean, in some cases its sad as hell and in other cases its so damn dumb I wonder who in hell missed the brain train completely!

Now this is sad --- four year old girl dies in washing machine. After she climbed into a washing machine and her little brother switched it on.

Kayley Ishii was inside the front-loader when her 15-month-old brother managed to start it. A sheriff's spokesman in Orange County, California said the machine's controls were 20 inches from the floor and the start switch was a simple push button. [I’m gonna be bad here, but who in hell said going green was good! Come on, a 15 month-old starts a washing machine,that has controls 20 inches from the floor -- who in hell believes this crap? I think the sheriff needs to do some investigating, how about it – all in favor raise your right hand]



TV Commercials

I really retired too early or maybe too late because I think I could qualify for some of these “study” programs and/or research projects. I mean how hard can it be to make shit up and get everyone to buy into it? Now here’s the latest – ready? Watching commercials makes watching TV more enjoyable!

Excuse me, commercials are used for potty runs, snacks, errands, dusting and even reading a book to the kids before bedtime, they were never intend to enhance our TV watching or did I miss that class. You know the idiot class that explains all this stuff to us Forrest-minded people!


BLAGOJEVICH – NOW WHAT

This guy is not going away, he’s lost his role as Governor but he still maintains he’s done nothing wrong. Ya, how many serving time are singing that tune. And he’s determined to prove he’s right and the media blitz is just gonna get more entertaining as the days roll along. Hey, let's face it, the man uses both shampoo and conditioner -- what lovely hair!

Who thought February was gonna be dull!! Shame on you, this is gonna be anything but dull - stupid maybe but never, ever DULL!

Okay, unless you live in some burrow the damn temp never went higher than 10 degrees today and that did squat to the wind chill factor ---the bloody wind was blowing around and keeping things damn chilly! And we got more cold weather tonight – does this mean I gotta find the thermal pajamas? Well, we ain’t gonna crank up the heat – are you nuts!

So you all stay warm tonight and try to sleep well, who knows what Thursday will bring us. Life is good!!!

How do you like my bird photo at the top -- amazing,eh? I was damn lucky to get this shot -- silly birds!

Pigeon in Pants - No-No

I did not make this up but I definitely felt the need to share this and sadly, the wind is still chilly and afternoon snowshoeing is not in the cards. However, I did spend quality time with the granddog, so I'm golden!


Man flying from Dubai caught with pigeons in his pants

Sydney: An Australian traveler who flew from Dubai to Melbourne was caught on arrival with two live pigeons stuffed in his pants, customs officials said on Tuesday. The 23-year-old man was searched after authorities discovered two eggs in a vitamin container in his luggage, said Richard Janeczko, national investigations manager for the Customs Service.

They found the pigeons wrapped in padded envelopes and held to each of the man's legs with a pair of tights, according to a statement released by the agency. Officials also seized seeds in his money belt and an undeclared eggplant. The alleged bird smuggler, who arrived in Melbourne from Dubai on Sunday, was being questioned.

Charges of wildlife smuggling — which carry a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment and a fine of 110,000 Australian dollars ($70,430) — could be brought against the man. Janeczko said the pigeons were not endangered and that the case — as well as the birds, eggs and seeds — had been turned over to the Quarantine Service to assess the health risk associated with bringing the birds into the country.

Stop laughing, this man is gonna end up the slammer and for what -- pigeons!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Below are some of the more interesting stories our eyes and ears are subjected to this week. I gotta tell ya, it might be cold outside but TV sucks and the news ain’t all that entertaining but if you take a few minutes you can see some humor in the recent batch of “are you kidding me?

SMOKING BAN VOTED DOWN

When I first heard about this proposal and it was tried last year too, I kind of smiled and thought this is dumb. But damn it they didn’t present it again this year. Now what was proposed was a smoking ban in city parks, playgrounds, athletic fields and beaches. And as it was last year it was voted down and the reason: Most of the councilors said they would not support the ban because it would be a virtually unenforceable ordinance. Ya think! However this council is not without recourse and they agreed to put up signs at the entrances RECOMMENDING visitors not smoke. Are you kidding me?

Woman gives birth to octuplets in California hospital

Okay, I admit it, I had to look up that word to be sure I had it right – in case you don’t wish to take the time, no worries, it means EIGHT. Can you imagine, giving birth to 8 kids – holy sheet and within five minutes – and guess what, the mother plans to breast feed all 8 – that’s a lot of breast milk and another Are you kidding me comments!

Prince Harry and Girlfriend Split

Well, I for one can sleep better knowing this five year romance is over but is it? No royal decree about this so called “we’re done” report so who in hell knows. So Harry me boy, go fly your helicopter and Chelsy, go back to Law School – and yes, the world still rotates – lovely!

Impeachment trial to proceed without governor

Springfield: On the day Illinois lawmakers launch the impeachment trial that could remove him from office; Governor Rod Blagojevich will not be in the capitol building defending himself. Instead, he'll be trying to influence public opinion with television appearances. Oh this is gonna be a fun story to watch – mark my words!

AUSTRALAIN TENNIS OPEN

Yes, of course it is still happening – into the second week and things are heating up or to say the least, changing like crazy. Some players have given in to the heat and injuries and retired as they could not continue with their matches. That makes it somewhat awkward for the opponent but also moves them into the next round. For the first time in many years, Andy Roddick is into the quarter finals. He really looks good this year, lost 15 pounds, is faster around the court and maybe, maybe just maybe he has listened to folks who have said he needed to mix up his game and become less predictable. Of course Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal are still going strong and fun to watch. I predict it will be Roger and Rafa in the final showdown and this year, Rafa will get the Australian title.

As more things come along that fit into the “are you kidding me” status I shall happily share them with you. As for me, I’m headed outside to snowshoe for an hour or so. I gotta get in my morning workout so I can have my afternoon nap.

Why does “slim chance,” and “fat chance” mean the same thing?

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely!

The Darwin Awards

Yes, I'm gonna share these awards, hang on a sec. I just finished my morning exercise aka snowshoeing and man, did I work up a sweat -- which is good, I think! One ski pole kept getting shorter and shorter and that was a tad annoying -- I gotta spend a little time and tighter that sucker before I trek off again..duh!

Yes it's a tad chilly, 10 degrees and snowing but once you get out and move, it's not so bad. Later I shall fire up the jeep and head to Massena, haven't been there in a few weeks and might as well see what's happening in that neck of woods. In the meantime, enjoy the following.

It's that time again.... The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.This year's winner was a real rocket scientist....Read on ... and remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And the nominees were:Semifinalist #1A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he rushed to vomit into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his unfortunate sister.

Semifinalist #2Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles (HARD to control light airplanes when everyone moves to one side).

Semifinalist #3A 22-year-old Reston , VA , man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'

Semifinalist #4A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend -- no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate -- was hospitalized.

Semifinalist #5Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter.Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

*************************************************************************** Now, to the winner of this year's Darwin Award (awarded, as always, posthumously):

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist .... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

You couldn't make this stuff up -- AND THEY BREED & VOTE.

SCARY, ISN'T IT? Nuff for today

Do you realize in about 40 Years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with TATTOOS? And......RAP MUSIC will be the GOLDEN OLDIES. (Now that's scary).