If you are retired, you'll love this -- if not, you will one day. As it turns out many folks asked retirees lots of questions. Therefore, to assist everyone, I thought I'd give you both the most often asked questions and the answers:
Q. How many days in a week?
A. 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.
Q. When is a retiree’s bedtime?
A. Three hours after he/she falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day!
Q. What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.
Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!
Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their kids will want to store stuff there.
Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal.
Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never ending coffee break.
Q. What’s the biggest advantage of doing back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Q. What do you (a retiree) do all week?
A. Monday through Friday, NOTHING….Saturday and Sunday we rest!
So thar ya go -- so you keep asking your questions, and we'll give you R answers!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Snowmobiles+Water= RACE
OMG Snowmobiles on Water! Aka Watercross!
If you did not see this with your own eyes you might think its impossible and some silly arse drunk story. But I’m here to tell ya, snowmobiles can and did race on water and on the Norwood Lake!
Yes I was a tad skeptical too, come on, machines meant for and used in the winter and on snow are suddenly racing on water – won’t they sink? Well, yes, they do sink if you they don’t go fast enough but hell, they are yanked out, taken to dry land, cleaned off and back in the race in record time.
They take off from land and man, it’s noisy and you not only can smell but see the cloud of fumes as they hit the water and then, off they go around cones and water balloons. It’s absolutely amazing and looks like great fun. The riders appear to be “tethered” to their snowmobile and bob in the water when the sled sinks, allowing others to see them and also to help the pontoon boat type crane to haul them back to the dry land. The only thing I heard was they needed two pontoon boats because it took too long to get the snowmobile back on dry land!
Okay, enjoy the photos – they say it better than me – I just know at one point a driver didn’t seen a rider in the water and ran over him (he ducked under water according to eye witnesses) and nobody was hurt. I'll attempt to put a slide show up a bit later but for now, the above photos show you what this was like -- amazing.
If you wish to see the slide show click on or go to this site:
http://www.myspace.com/skyhighmama
Saturday, August 30, 2008
As I MATURE
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big Willy or huge boobs.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
Now aren’t you glad you stopped by and read this blog? Oh come on, you got a smile or two from this, did you not? What? It’s not my job to make you miserable; you can do that on your own! Here’s a couple more ditty’s to keep the day pleasant:
- When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
- It you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
- Did you ever notice the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are “XL.”
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame!
Hey have a great Labor Day Weekend and this rain will pass and you really should go over to Norwood Lake and watch the snowmobile races. I’m gonna be there with my trusty camera and plan to have a good ole time. Come on over and join the fun!
OR you can stay home and work on being miserable -- your choice!
Friday, August 29, 2008
SPRINKLES – AGAIN
Well, while I wait (stall is probably the better word) to decided when to take my morning walk, the light sprinkle is just a teasing splatter of what could easily become a downpour. Hey, I don’t mind the rain, I mean for walking purposes but a downpour is not my idea of fun. I wear glasses and sadly, I don’t have wipers on the lenses and seeing the world through spots is not exactly pleasant!
In the meantime I took a gander at the headlines – hell, these alone cause one to shake his or her head. A nine year old boy is so good pitching a ball that he’s not being allowed to do this and the team is being disbanded and dispersed – what the hell is going on!
We got a celebrity headed into rehab – hey, this is nothing new, every other week this happens but this time, its for – wait for it – sex addiction! Are you kidding me? What in hell kind of treatment or help do you get in rehab for this addiction? Ya, makes you wonder, don’t it?
Oh how sweet a baby elephant has been reunited with her Mama – and now the tears have stopped – isn’t that sweet! This was breaking news folks, we couldn’t sleep without reading about this – damn, I am so much better now!
Oh you’ll love this one – colleges around the country are ditching cafeteria trays to lower water and energy use and to prevent wasted food. Now how will those kids carry their food, oh, in dishes that they’ll drop, which will break upon contact with the floor and this is safer and going green – ya, I get it, how stupid to think we used trays all these years and never thought this was wasteful.
Freezer sales heat up as folks try to save money on food costs. Hey, you got a freezer; you can buy in bulk and save money – duh! Damn when did we suddenly realize that folks had a brain and used it – this is just another example of how stupid we are to believe this is something new in our lives!
Why is it so hard to swat a fly? Ya, I can tell you really are interested in this study (damn we spend money on some pretty weird stuff). The brains of flies are wired to avoid the swatter, U.S. researchers said on Thursday. At the mere hint of a threat, the insects adjust their preflight stance to flee in the opposite direction, ensuring a clean getaway; they said in a finding that helps explain why flies so easily evade swipes from their human foes. These movements are made very rapidly, within about 200 milliseconds – sorry, we can’t swat that fast, hence the fly get-away!
King of the Pasture: Chilli, a Brobdingnagian bovine knows how to stand tall. The cow in England is 6-foot-6 and weighs more than a ton. I don’t know about you, but I ain’t messing with this cow – holy cow shit!
Well, have you had enough of the daily news updates? Now you can really prepare for the weekend, right? Well, the sprinkles aren’t getting any worse, so I am off for my walk – what the hell, I know how to swim in case it gets really bad out there – wish me luck and oh, you have a lovely day, okay?
Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job!
In the meantime I took a gander at the headlines – hell, these alone cause one to shake his or her head. A nine year old boy is so good pitching a ball that he’s not being allowed to do this and the team is being disbanded and dispersed – what the hell is going on!
We got a celebrity headed into rehab – hey, this is nothing new, every other week this happens but this time, its for – wait for it – sex addiction! Are you kidding me? What in hell kind of treatment or help do you get in rehab for this addiction? Ya, makes you wonder, don’t it?
Oh how sweet a baby elephant has been reunited with her Mama – and now the tears have stopped – isn’t that sweet! This was breaking news folks, we couldn’t sleep without reading about this – damn, I am so much better now!
Oh you’ll love this one – colleges around the country are ditching cafeteria trays to lower water and energy use and to prevent wasted food. Now how will those kids carry their food, oh, in dishes that they’ll drop, which will break upon contact with the floor and this is safer and going green – ya, I get it, how stupid to think we used trays all these years and never thought this was wasteful.
Freezer sales heat up as folks try to save money on food costs. Hey, you got a freezer; you can buy in bulk and save money – duh! Damn when did we suddenly realize that folks had a brain and used it – this is just another example of how stupid we are to believe this is something new in our lives!
Why is it so hard to swat a fly? Ya, I can tell you really are interested in this study (damn we spend money on some pretty weird stuff). The brains of flies are wired to avoid the swatter, U.S. researchers said on Thursday. At the mere hint of a threat, the insects adjust their preflight stance to flee in the opposite direction, ensuring a clean getaway; they said in a finding that helps explain why flies so easily evade swipes from their human foes. These movements are made very rapidly, within about 200 milliseconds – sorry, we can’t swat that fast, hence the fly get-away!
King of the Pasture: Chilli, a Brobdingnagian bovine knows how to stand tall. The cow in England is 6-foot-6 and weighs more than a ton. I don’t know about you, but I ain’t messing with this cow – holy cow shit!
Well, have you had enough of the daily news updates? Now you can really prepare for the weekend, right? Well, the sprinkles aren’t getting any worse, so I am off for my walk – what the hell, I know how to swim in case it gets really bad out there – wish me luck and oh, you have a lovely day, okay?
Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
THE JOB = URINE TEST
(I sure would like to know who wrote this one! They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)
I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREED 100%
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job--I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check!?
Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though . . . Something has to change in this country -- and soon!
WHAT AN IDEA!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Hump Day
Well, once again the temp is in the 40’s and I’m having a little debate on what to wear on my morning walk. Yesterday I donned a sweatshirt as it was 40 degrees and to be honest, found it a tad too warm and wished I’d stuck with my normal T-shirt. Now it’s closing in on 50 degrees and I’m thinking T-shirt – forget that sweatshirt business.
I was bad this week, no weight loss but hey, no gain either so that is good, right? I knew I was blowing it – had a few beers, had a whopper with fries (twice), had ice cream which I rarely eat but seemed to want this past week for some stupid reason and well, shit, I just blew it; it’s that plain and that simple! Oh well, one is allowed this option too. What is good is that while I did not lose any weight this past week, I did not gain, so I consider that a good stead! Come on, did you honestly think I was gonna lose 3 pounds every flippin week – not in this life time or on this planet!
I was bad this week, no weight loss but hey, no gain either so that is good, right? I knew I was blowing it – had a few beers, had a whopper with fries (twice), had ice cream which I rarely eat but seemed to want this past week for some stupid reason and well, shit, I just blew it; it’s that plain and that simple! Oh well, one is allowed this option too. What is good is that while I did not lose any weight this past week, I did not gain, so I consider that a good stead! Come on, did you honestly think I was gonna lose 3 pounds every flippin week – not in this life time or on this planet!
Today on my walk I took my camera – now this is a bit awkward and tends to mess up my arm swing, but at the same time, I wanted to get some photos around town. Why? Well, I have friends who haven’t been here in years and would like to see what the ole town looks like and of course, see all the changes since we were kids. Imagine their surprise when they learn the Norwood Bakery is no longer here – that fire ended a landmark we all loved and enjoyed for years!
Some folks left here when we still had a movie theater and bowling alley, man, that’s been gone a long time, right? Yes, changes happens and while it is seen as progress and at times this is certainly true, many times change just doesn’t seem all that different or necessary. All it did was disrupt lives and cause stress but the same-ole-same crap is still here. Ya, life is full of these so called changes and then, once done, a few years pass and they say; “we never should have done that, it wasn’t necessary, I miss the ole stuff.”
I was gonna (and earlier did have) a photo slide show but realized this was not working properly. In fact, it was probably driving you nuts as well;therefore I dumped it and now, well, you'll just have to take my word, yes I have recent photos of downtown Norwood!
This is Route 56 or the Norwood Hill headed toward Potsdam. Ever "hike" up this baby? Lemme tell ya, that's a lovely workout -- your thighs will burn for hours!
Hey, if you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
40 Degrees – August 26th – WTS
Ya, “what the shit” is up with this temperature? Look, this is really getting pretty damn wild. We have rain, cool temps, then we get blasted with heat waves that see temps in the high, and I do mean high 80s and now, we wake up to 40 degrees! This is not global warming this is messing with our minds and didn’t anyone tell them, our minds can’t handle shit like this?
Hey, one good thing about all this up and down temp business, the corn is fantastic this year – man oh man, you can literally pig out on corn-on-the-cob and with all that fiber we keep every body function working too! Sadly, some corn fields are wet and that causes concern for farmers – can we get our equipment in there and not get bogged down? Nothing like a 50,000 dollar tractor stuck in mud and more money spent getting the sucker out and still no corn harvested.
NORWOOD -- The 19th Norwood Lake Regatta will be on Aug. 30 at Norwood Beach, with snowmobiles instead of boats. The main attraction will be “water cross racing,” which is snowmobiles racing and jumping on Norwood Lake. The first 18 years of the regatta featured hydroplane boat racing, which created many exciting races but was also subject to wind and other weather related delays. Supposedly the only weather that stops water cross racing is lightning storms, so this should be a fun event and I for one plan to attend. The question will be what to wear? Hopefully we’ll have nice weather and not need to be bundled up like snow bunnies the end of August!
Monday was a first for me, once a year all the folks who retired from Cornell Cooperative Extension of St. Lawrence County meet, have lunch and swap stories. As I said it was a first for me and I’m somewhat a “newbie” to this group as I retired two years ago but another gal holds the real title as the most recent retiree, having retired this year! Regardless it was fun, some folks I did not know but got introduced to quickly and over a great meal, conversation never was a problem and we all had a grand ole time. Many are packing up and heading “home” after a summer in the North Country and for some that means by October they are headed to Florida and want nothing more to do with the cold weather or snow. All in all it was a great gathering and more enjoyable.
So, its on with chores – the lawn needs mowing and I cannot stall any longer. Take care, keep smiling and keep a cold one handy in case I show up and need a drink!
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water!
Hey, one good thing about all this up and down temp business, the corn is fantastic this year – man oh man, you can literally pig out on corn-on-the-cob and with all that fiber we keep every body function working too! Sadly, some corn fields are wet and that causes concern for farmers – can we get our equipment in there and not get bogged down? Nothing like a 50,000 dollar tractor stuck in mud and more money spent getting the sucker out and still no corn harvested.
NORWOOD -- The 19th Norwood Lake Regatta will be on Aug. 30 at Norwood Beach, with snowmobiles instead of boats. The main attraction will be “water cross racing,” which is snowmobiles racing and jumping on Norwood Lake. The first 18 years of the regatta featured hydroplane boat racing, which created many exciting races but was also subject to wind and other weather related delays. Supposedly the only weather that stops water cross racing is lightning storms, so this should be a fun event and I for one plan to attend. The question will be what to wear? Hopefully we’ll have nice weather and not need to be bundled up like snow bunnies the end of August!
Monday was a first for me, once a year all the folks who retired from Cornell Cooperative Extension of St. Lawrence County meet, have lunch and swap stories. As I said it was a first for me and I’m somewhat a “newbie” to this group as I retired two years ago but another gal holds the real title as the most recent retiree, having retired this year! Regardless it was fun, some folks I did not know but got introduced to quickly and over a great meal, conversation never was a problem and we all had a grand ole time. Many are packing up and heading “home” after a summer in the North Country and for some that means by October they are headed to Florida and want nothing more to do with the cold weather or snow. All in all it was a great gathering and more enjoyable.
So, its on with chores – the lawn needs mowing and I cannot stall any longer. Take care, keep smiling and keep a cold one handy in case I show up and need a drink!
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
TENNIS
Give it up, I know you could care less about tennis but settle in folks, the US Open begins tomorrow and you’ll just have to endure.
Roger Federer enters this grand slam event as the number two player in the world and Rafa Nadal takes on the number one spot. Whatever is shall be an exciting ten days of tennis and then, everyone can rest and watch football and/or baseball! Yes, I repeat again for those who are sick of hearing it, I am a huge tennis fan. I also enjoy football so thar you are – a female sports nut!
Hey, did it rain last night or was it nothing more than thunder-bumpers? I heard no rain but then I slept pretty soundly last night so who in hell knows? My awning isn’t full of water this morning so I am assuming no wet stuff fell – hurrah. The temp did drop tho – damn, it needed to drop – couple days of 80+ degrees made things damn warm around here!
Went to the movie last night – are you ready for this –Tropic Thunder. [A self-referential movie about making a movie, Ben Stiller's fearless comedy tosses combat-film actors into an actual jungle setting and then slowly strips away their personality shields until they're left staring deeply into their Hollywood hearts of darkness. From the audience's perspective, the view is gut-bustingly funny. Stiller's wisest choice behind the camera is to keep the lens focused on his inspired cast mates ñ including Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Steve Coogan, and a vulgar Tom Cruise ñ who embrace the hilarity in the fantastic screenplay. "Tropic Thunder" gleefully skewers the film industry and its pampered acting community. It's one of the year's funniest films.]
That is a write up seen on a local web site. As far as I am concerned and IMO this was the dumbest movie I have seen in years. Yes I did laugh at times but mostly I wanted this over so I could go home. But hey, go see it yourself – as for me – once was enuff, thank you very much!
Yup, it’s Sunday and at the moment the temp is slowly climbing out of the 60s and the sun is trying to pop thru the clouds. I suspect we’re in for a lovely day and that is fine with me. I am sure Wal-Mart will be crowded again today as college kids continue to stock up on goodies and parents continue to shell out hard earned cash to pay for this educational pursuit.
Enjoy your day –
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year oldswhen they enter antique store?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'
Saturday, August 23, 2008
TREASURE & TRASH
Couple of things happening in Potsdam this weekend. First the students are back, unpacking and doing their level best to make sure they are here – damn, it’s always fun watching them the first few weeks. Second, as the kids and parents here, yard, garage and lawn sales are happening this weekend too. I suspect these sales are happening in other towns as well but I noticed them more in Potsdam this morning as we did our weekly dry cleaner and breakfast run!
Yard, garage or lawn sales are pretty common and let’s face it, most folks just want to get rid of stuff and sell things pretty damn cheap and like to “dicker” over prices. Now, we got some that think they can make millions and have outrageous prices on junk and nobody is buying –duh! Yes, it is true; one person’s trash is someone else’s treasure. Have you ever seen what some folks do with things you decided to get rid of because you were sick of it, it was old and useless? I mean, its amazing what some folks can do with a little paint and elbow power – almost makes you wish you had thought of this and kept the damn thing!
The sales take considerable work, getting stuff ready, marked and then, sitting around all day waiting for customers who pick, paw and suggest a price that is (in some cases) an insult to common decency. Sales are sales, we get the concept but this is not “give away free” stuff – so let’s be a little more discreet with our comments and offers. A perfectly good sofa is not going to go for $5.00 and if you think that is sick, then look in the bloody mirror.
I can handle clothes and especially blue jeans that someone else had nicely broken in and aren’t too bad – meaning, no major holes in them. You know what really has me blinking is people buying used shoes! I don’t mean boots, skates or hiking boots but regular, everyday shoes – how in the bloody hell can you wear shoes someone else broke in – don’t we all walk differently?
Now my objective in going to such sales is furniture – old wood that I can refurbish or make even worse as I learn how to work with various woodworking tools. I kind of like to take an ole chair, desk, coffee table, strip it down, and see what in hell it really looks like. It’s amazing how beautiful cherry, walnut, etc., is after all these years – once all the paint has been removed! Sometimes you asked yourself why would anyone want to cover up such beauty and then you remember, at a certain time, painting wood was the way many did things and it was considered a good thing! Leaving it natural tended to suggest you were to poor to buy paint and although poor you didn’t necessarily want to broadcast it all over town! In some cases, paint covered a multitude of messes too – chips, gouges, and by painting it matched other items in the room instead of clashing big time!
So good luck with your sales and hunting – sometimes I do stop and search for something weird, odd or some silly gadget that might cause my sister and I some laughs – especially if neither of us can figure out what in hell this gadget does! Just enjoy your weekend--- retired or not, weekends are still weekends!
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Friday, August 22, 2008
FOR THE LOVE OF MARTHA
Get ready for this folks, you thought gas prices were bad and food prices but now they are really getting serious – read on:
HARRISBURG, Pa. - The maker of Snickers bars and M&Ms candies said it is raising wholesale prices on various items to offset the higher costs of raw materials, packaging and energy, the second major candy company in the past week to announce such a move.
Damn now even our unhealthy snacks and comfort goodies are gonna get so damn costly we won’t be able to afford them either – gonna be a damn cold winter, eh?
But wait it gets better – read this tidbit:
TOKYO - A 61-year-old Japanese woman gave birth to her own grandchild, using an egg donated by her daughter, a clinic said Thursday.
Ya, I can see all you 60 year olds and older just biting at the bit to do this number for your kids – what? Watch your mouth I was just kidding!
Well, with luck my digital phone service will be fixed today and I mean fixed. Since the sucker was installed I would hear callers say; “you’re breaking up; I’m hearing every other word; are you still there?” And sometimes I’m chatting away only to learn I’m in dead air space – nobody on the other end. It’s not like I spend hours on the damn phone, that ain’t my idea of good times, but when I must be on the phone, I would like to hear what in hell is being said! This service supposedly is cheaper than what I had before and I’m beginning to understand why – it doesn’t work, therefore you don’t use it much!
Looks like another lovely day for us country bumpkins – can we tolerate two warm days in a row? Yesterday was cause for many to get outside and mow lawns and even rake up grass but not me, I sat outside with friends, drank beers and swapped stories – most relaxing and slept like a baby last night too.
Now these little cuties were next door and enjoying the apple tree, later they came over and nearly joined me on my deck -- brave suckers, eh? A few years ago a deer actually was on the deck and being overly smart, had the damnest time getting off -- jumping didn't seem possible and turning around didn't seem to work either. Eventually, in total frustration, he jumped over the rail and off he went, never to return. So for his deck jumping number he went to Bejing and entered the Olympics -- did you see him?
HARRISBURG, Pa. - The maker of Snickers bars and M&Ms candies said it is raising wholesale prices on various items to offset the higher costs of raw materials, packaging and energy, the second major candy company in the past week to announce such a move.
Damn now even our unhealthy snacks and comfort goodies are gonna get so damn costly we won’t be able to afford them either – gonna be a damn cold winter, eh?
But wait it gets better – read this tidbit:
TOKYO - A 61-year-old Japanese woman gave birth to her own grandchild, using an egg donated by her daughter, a clinic said Thursday.
Ya, I can see all you 60 year olds and older just biting at the bit to do this number for your kids – what? Watch your mouth I was just kidding!
Well, with luck my digital phone service will be fixed today and I mean fixed. Since the sucker was installed I would hear callers say; “you’re breaking up; I’m hearing every other word; are you still there?” And sometimes I’m chatting away only to learn I’m in dead air space – nobody on the other end. It’s not like I spend hours on the damn phone, that ain’t my idea of good times, but when I must be on the phone, I would like to hear what in hell is being said! This service supposedly is cheaper than what I had before and I’m beginning to understand why – it doesn’t work, therefore you don’t use it much!
Looks like another lovely day for us country bumpkins – can we tolerate two warm days in a row? Yesterday was cause for many to get outside and mow lawns and even rake up grass but not me, I sat outside with friends, drank beers and swapped stories – most relaxing and slept like a baby last night too.
Now these little cuties were next door and enjoying the apple tree, later they came over and nearly joined me on my deck -- brave suckers, eh? A few years ago a deer actually was on the deck and being overly smart, had the damnest time getting off -- jumping didn't seem possible and turning around didn't seem to work either. Eventually, in total frustration, he jumped over the rail and off he went, never to return. So for his deck jumping number he went to Bejing and entered the Olympics -- did you see him?Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Highjacked -- Damn
Howdy,
Well, like many I too had my computer highjacked or if you prefer, a nasty virus decided to take over and that resulted in me losing alot of my stuff -- bloody hell!
Ya I know, should have backed up things and then when shit like this happens, you haven't lost everything...hindsight is bloody wonderful. Now I may remember to do this little number! Ya, live and learn!
So I will spend time reinstalling software that I wish to use and programs that I definitely want to use and hopefully in due course I will have most of the stuff back where I want it or I'll be a frustrated clown and decide I didn't really need that program anyway!
Anyhoooo -- just wanted to let you know I haven't gone away -- not really and soon I shall share more nonsense with you -- can't wait, right?
Hey, how did ya like the temp this morning -- 48 degrees -- are you kidding me? Makes ya wonder if we have a wet, cool summer does that mean a mild winter? One can hope but again, sorry but I like snow sports so snow is necessary -- I just don't need nor want piles of the stuff.
More later --- have a good one.
Well, like many I too had my computer highjacked or if you prefer, a nasty virus decided to take over and that resulted in me losing alot of my stuff -- bloody hell!
Ya I know, should have backed up things and then when shit like this happens, you haven't lost everything...hindsight is bloody wonderful. Now I may remember to do this little number! Ya, live and learn!
So I will spend time reinstalling software that I wish to use and programs that I definitely want to use and hopefully in due course I will have most of the stuff back where I want it or I'll be a frustrated clown and decide I didn't really need that program anyway!
Anyhoooo -- just wanted to let you know I haven't gone away -- not really and soon I shall share more nonsense with you -- can't wait, right?
Hey, how did ya like the temp this morning -- 48 degrees -- are you kidding me? Makes ya wonder if we have a wet, cool summer does that mean a mild winter? One can hope but again, sorry but I like snow sports so snow is necessary -- I just don't need nor want piles of the stuff.
More later --- have a good one.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
DEER ME—BACK OFF BAMBI
Well, my morning walk brought on some surprises this morning. I have, at times, seen deer while walking but this morning a deer decided to “charge” right at me! Holy Martha, what in hell is up with Bambi?
Now what in hell is one supposed to do? Stand or keep walking as the deer has it’s own route and it ain’t gonna deviate from that route? Now let me clarify this, I was not in the country, I was on Prospect Street and just walking along at my normal pace, when Bambi saw me, I saw Bambi and then, Bambi decided to charge right at me!
No I didn’t get hurt, I just stood my ground and waited for the thud, which never came as the deer went off to the side and kept going. I bet s/he is laughing like crazy and telling s/he buddies; “you shouldn’t seen that human’s face, I bet she shit her pants, it was so funny!”
That certainly was odd and yes, it was a nice sized deer and gave no indication of being sick, just hungry as it roam about and munched in gardens, grass, flowers, leaves, etc. I probably scared it more than anything else and considering they have poor eye sight, I would also say they are dumb. Hell, why run toward me, fool, run the other way! Oh well, nobody was hurt and the deer eventually race off into the woods and is long gone!
Now there are some things that – well – you don’t really care if you know or not. I mean, now we are being privy to who spied for us during WW II – are you sure we need to know this and NOW?
WASHINGTON - Famed chef Julia Child shared a secret with Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg at a time when the Nazis threatened the world.
They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt.
Now, don’t you feel better knowing this? A tad late but still, after all these years we get informed our chef was a bloody spy! Damn, am I the only one who wants to scream – WHO IN HELL WASN’T A SPY! Seems like everyone spied and that was the name of the game played then, so why in hell think telling now is necessary?
Then the news switches and we’re back to the diet and fitness crap – again and forever!
How much exercise do we need? Man, I love the answer to this question:” To put good intentions into action, you need a goal. How much exercise do you need? Ask the U.S. Surgeon General, the Institute of Medicine, the American Heart Association, and the American College of Sports Medicine and you're likely to get four different answers. That's no surprise. In fact, you're the only one who can decide just how much and what kind of exercise is best for you.”
About time someone gave us some credit. I’m not real sure about that “goal” thing tho – I mean, I walk but I never really thought about what goal I had in mind – to feel better, to move my fat ass, just to get outside or better yet, just to do some form of exercise that doesn’t require a lot of equipment!
I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
Now what in hell is one supposed to do? Stand or keep walking as the deer has it’s own route and it ain’t gonna deviate from that route? Now let me clarify this, I was not in the country, I was on Prospect Street and just walking along at my normal pace, when Bambi saw me, I saw Bambi and then, Bambi decided to charge right at me!
No I didn’t get hurt, I just stood my ground and waited for the thud, which never came as the deer went off to the side and kept going. I bet s/he is laughing like crazy and telling s/he buddies; “you shouldn’t seen that human’s face, I bet she shit her pants, it was so funny!”
That certainly was odd and yes, it was a nice sized deer and gave no indication of being sick, just hungry as it roam about and munched in gardens, grass, flowers, leaves, etc. I probably scared it more than anything else and considering they have poor eye sight, I would also say they are dumb. Hell, why run toward me, fool, run the other way! Oh well, nobody was hurt and the deer eventually race off into the woods and is long gone!
Now there are some things that – well – you don’t really care if you know or not. I mean, now we are being privy to who spied for us during WW II – are you sure we need to know this and NOW?
WASHINGTON - Famed chef Julia Child shared a secret with Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg at a time when the Nazis threatened the world.
They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt.
Now, don’t you feel better knowing this? A tad late but still, after all these years we get informed our chef was a bloody spy! Damn, am I the only one who wants to scream – WHO IN HELL WASN’T A SPY! Seems like everyone spied and that was the name of the game played then, so why in hell think telling now is necessary?
Then the news switches and we’re back to the diet and fitness crap – again and forever!
How much exercise do we need? Man, I love the answer to this question:” To put good intentions into action, you need a goal. How much exercise do you need? Ask the U.S. Surgeon General, the Institute of Medicine, the American Heart Association, and the American College of Sports Medicine and you're likely to get four different answers. That's no surprise. In fact, you're the only one who can decide just how much and what kind of exercise is best for you.”
About time someone gave us some credit. I’m not real sure about that “goal” thing tho – I mean, I walk but I never really thought about what goal I had in mind – to feel better, to move my fat ass, just to get outside or better yet, just to do some form of exercise that doesn’t require a lot of equipment!
I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
BIG DAY FOR POTSDAM
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Hey, after much ado and what have you, the infamous Super Wal-Mart opens today in Potsdam – hurrah!
And along with this store comes over 400 jobs and man, we needed employment for folks too. Whether you like or dislike Wal-Mart it is here now and it’s gonna make life a bit more interesting and easier for many folks.
Oh sure, folks will still shop downtown, that’s a given and although in my opinion, shopping is limited based on interests but then, isn’t that how it usually works? And yes, folks will still shop at Hackett’s and again, this is fine. Wal-Mart is not going to drive people away, it’s gonna bring people in and that includes restaurants – hello, folks wanna eat and inside the super store – Subway only lasts how long?
Today will be a mad house, I suppose but keep in mind, Wal-Mart doesn’t do this promotion give-away number to the first 100 customers or anything along those lines – they just open their doors and welcome you, just like they will three months from now. And if the personnel here are as well trained as the Massena Wal-Mart, you will not only see but also get friendly, competent service.
I don’t mind if some clerk asks if they can help me but when I say I am just looking, I mean I am just looking and leave me to hell alone. So, if they persist and bug me I mess with them. First I ask if they got anything in my size? This gets the usual, “what size do you need?” And then, I smile and say, “Extra medium.” That sends them scampering to find someone who can explain this or declare the store does not carry that size. Believe me, they are gone and I’m back to looking!
Gee, I thought it was gonna be a dry, warm day – my walk had every indication of that, sun shining and me sweating as the temp seemingly went up. Then, like a dummy I checked the weather via the Internet and see it is currently 65 degrees and we can expect rain today and that brings up one word – SHIT! In fact it’s likely we’ll have thunderstorms today and tomorrow and that means double shit!
Now I shall turn my attention to gas prices – yes, the price of gas has come down, not a lot but hey, $4.15 sounds pretty damn nice after that ugly $4.41 a gallon, eh? What amazes me is the further south I drive the lower the price and I mean just beyond Gouverneur – now, why is that happening? Does it really cost that much more to bring us country bumpkins’ gas? We’re not talking hundreds of miles here, folks, just a few miles!
Well, for all of you who are slowly getting in the back-to-school shopping I honestly feel for you! Yup, been there, done that and glad it’s all over for me. My granddaughter starts school this year and I told me son he’ll need a bank loan to get her dressed and he said; “nope, just an extension on the house for her shoes!” This girl loves shoes and trusts me, she has plenty of them and each pair is special!
Hey, you all have a lovely day – have some laughs and giggles too.
[don't ask about the photo -it won't go away so I decided to try an post it and hope that ends this nonsense, sorry]
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Come on------
Man this wet; damp, cool weather has gone on long enough. This is getting damn annoying and I know farmers are going nuts. They can’t get hay in much less harvest crops – yikes! Come on, it's August and soon our summer will be over and can we really say we had a warm, hot, dry one -- NO. It's been nice but a few warm, make that hot, days would be nice and our field, gardens, trees and lawns need it!
And once again, my yard looks bad – oh, it’s green and thick but it’s also tall and needs to be cut. I refuse to cut wet grass, that just doesn’t seem right to me yet I watch other folks do this and just shake my head. A nice, trimmed yard is great but mowing in the rain is just a bit anal in my book!
Hey, here’s an interesting “why” for ya. Girls who act like boys get tagged as tomboys, right? What in hell do we call boys who act like girls, Suegirls? Hey, don’t get a mixed message in this why thought. I mean, many guys become chefs, designers, owners of fancy and expensive hair salons, etc and are very manly – which is not to say being Gay is wrong. But we take little notice of these notions when boys are young but man, let a girl act or play with a boy and we are Tomboys! Ya, now you’re thinking about it, aren’t ya?
So are you enjoying the Olympics? I gotta say that opening ceremony was absolutely brilliant and spellbinding. The Chinese really out did themselves with that performance. As for coverage, well, I am finding the Canadian channels tend to broadcast more coverage than US Channels and I tend to get a tad weary of the polo basketball games or whatever in hell they are called. Diving seemed to take forever but it was fun to watch. I’m a little confused over the gymnastic program tho – are you sure those Chinese girls are 16 years old – they look like they might – just might be 12! Can you imagine, if true, how these girls must feel claiming to be 16 when they are 12 and basically still little girls? Ye gads!
I guess the one thing everyone but the Chinese agree on is the heat and humidity folks are enduring. One tennis player said he was changing his shirt every ten minutes because it was soaked with sweat – other players also admitted the humidity was brutal. Makes ya feel sorry for the gals who can’t just whip off their tops and don a dry one, eh? Keep this up and we’ll need on-court changing rooms for the gals! I’m a tennis fan and player but I gotta tell ya, I never wore those tennis skirts. Sorry I liked the shorts and loose tops not some silly skirt and fancy underwear or pants. I also wore glasses and when transitional lenses came along, those sunglasses definitely were great but opponents complained they couldn’t see my eyes and that caused a disadvantage. Huh?
Yes I am rambling; it’s that kind of day. So I shan’t bore you any longer, I shall grab my water bottle and watch the Olympics – hurrah.
And once again, my yard looks bad – oh, it’s green and thick but it’s also tall and needs to be cut. I refuse to cut wet grass, that just doesn’t seem right to me yet I watch other folks do this and just shake my head. A nice, trimmed yard is great but mowing in the rain is just a bit anal in my book!
Hey, here’s an interesting “why” for ya. Girls who act like boys get tagged as tomboys, right? What in hell do we call boys who act like girls, Suegirls? Hey, don’t get a mixed message in this why thought. I mean, many guys become chefs, designers, owners of fancy and expensive hair salons, etc and are very manly – which is not to say being Gay is wrong. But we take little notice of these notions when boys are young but man, let a girl act or play with a boy and we are Tomboys! Ya, now you’re thinking about it, aren’t ya?
So are you enjoying the Olympics? I gotta say that opening ceremony was absolutely brilliant and spellbinding. The Chinese really out did themselves with that performance. As for coverage, well, I am finding the Canadian channels tend to broadcast more coverage than US Channels and I tend to get a tad weary of the polo basketball games or whatever in hell they are called. Diving seemed to take forever but it was fun to watch. I’m a little confused over the gymnastic program tho – are you sure those Chinese girls are 16 years old – they look like they might – just might be 12! Can you imagine, if true, how these girls must feel claiming to be 16 when they are 12 and basically still little girls? Ye gads!
I guess the one thing everyone but the Chinese agree on is the heat and humidity folks are enduring. One tennis player said he was changing his shirt every ten minutes because it was soaked with sweat – other players also admitted the humidity was brutal. Makes ya feel sorry for the gals who can’t just whip off their tops and don a dry one, eh? Keep this up and we’ll need on-court changing rooms for the gals! I’m a tennis fan and player but I gotta tell ya, I never wore those tennis skirts. Sorry I liked the shorts and loose tops not some silly skirt and fancy underwear or pants. I also wore glasses and when transitional lenses came along, those sunglasses definitely were great but opponents complained they couldn’t see my eyes and that caused a disadvantage. Huh?
Yes I am rambling; it’s that kind of day. So I shan’t bore you any longer, I shall grab my water bottle and watch the Olympics – hurrah.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Phones Then & Now
Maybe some of you are under the impression that remembering the ole rotary phone; ya party line --somehow indicates you are OLD. Well, forget it, many folks remember those days and they are not old. Funny how we determine what makes someone old but usually this means retirement age at the very least, which is 55 or older!Anyway, the old rotary phone was one ugly thing and had a relatively short cord, which kind of restricted how far you could move while on the phone. In some cases, a longer cord was purchased but it still did not make you mobile – you were "attached" to the phone. The rotary dial was how you dialed a number and it usually was referred by a prefix; i.e. EV4—then the number. And best of all you shared the line with 3 or 4 other people, hence the term “party line.”
So if you wanted to use the phone, you picked up the receiver and listened, if no one was on the line, you could dial the number and then talk to your party. If someone was on the line, you had to wait. Now it wasn’t uncommon to “listen” to other people’s conversations – hell, that was standard fare, whether admitted or not!
Party line users had this understanding or agreement that if someone really need to use the phone, they could declare an emergency or say they need to make an important call, could you please get off the line. And most folks did without much hesitation. That didn’t mean they didn’t listen to see what your emergency or important call entailed and lordy, if you considered it important to call someone to get a recipe or learn what happen on the weekly soap opera they were pissed and very unforgiving and if you tried this again and that infamous cry wolf number was implemented immediately!
In many ways party lines were fun, and in some cases, damn educational and informative. Sadly not all information was valid but gossip was always interesting and regardless of age, sex or financial status…gossip was gossip! Teenagers discussed boys/girls, kissing, clothes, hair dos and dances, while adults usually talk about some girl being a tramp, pregnant, unwed, whore or some husband was a drunken brute. Or some wife who was frigid or some mother who never took care of her kids. And then you’d listen to the holier-than-thou folks who preached the gospel and quoted the Bible to defend their position.[ These ladies were really sick puppies who had no life other than making yours miserable....I suspect they are burning in hell for all their bad deeds!]
Eventually technology advanced and folks had their own line and party lines were gone – I don’t think any of us minded – in fact, we most likely felt free at last and not subject to having the entire town know our business. Privacy was dear then too but party lines made that awkward. And the phone itself got nicer, we had wall phones now and you could have more than one, which was nice. And eventually cordless phones became the status symbol and you could walk outside and chat. As a mobile society this was fantastic.
Today we are inundated with cell phones – all kinds of cell phones, from the high tech to the simple, easy to use. Hell, you can even set ring tones to identify your callers! How would you like to know that Amazing Grace was your call song? Perhaps the coolest thing about cell phones was the ability to send text messages and this evolved into a whole new way of writing - U R great, OMG, LOL, etc. However, kids abused this feature and soon many schools prohibited cell phones as kids were texting test questions to their friends...and/or send some ugly messages about other students. Peer pressure is bad enough but test messages are mean and dangerous!
And to make things worse, folks are walking around with a cell phone hanging from their ear, held up to their ear and chatting away as they grocery shop, use the bathroom, stand in some check out line or while they eat. It’s like a bloody lifeline and they can’t function without chatting with other people -- hello, this is not necessary!
Now I find all this usage annoying and stupid – sorry, anybody who has to "reach out and talk to someone 24/7 has much bigger problems and needs some serious help! I'm not a fan of cell phone driving either -- you wanna chat, pull over and that includes the so called hands free calling as well. Sorry, you need to pay attention to the road, not chatting with friends, mates or some sales person.
I personally think the only way we can stop this is to up the fine. Make it really hit the wallet if caught and this will cease damn fast. Now later this month I shall attend the New York State Fair -- this is always a fun outing. But I will have to endure the constant cell phones around me, yakking during concerts and this need to stay connected like without this you cannot breathe!
Even hikers tend to use cell phones and get upset when they can’t get a signal to let someone know they are having a grand time in the great outdoors and enjoying the sounds of nature. What sounds? Blabbing on a phone is not a nature sound!
Enjoy your phones, they do have purpose and a definite use but also realize that sometimes it is okay to turn them off and enjoy the silence. Silence is golden after all!
Sit down and give your mind a rest!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Cattails and Concert
Yes, a strange title but hey, its Saturday and strange is in, okay?
Friday nights entertainment fair choices were: St. Lawrence County fair had the Monster Truck Pull OR Franklin County Fair had the Phil Vassar concert – which one would you pick? My daughter and I chose Phil and what a great concert. I found the sound a bit loud, I know, it’s a concert it’s supposed to be loud. But too much base makes my ears ache [call me old but still with my hearing vs. young people who need everything loud to hear at all!]. However my daughter had no problems, she sang along, cheered, yelled and had a blast.
Prior to the attendance we had to have the mandatory “corn dog” and sadly we were disappointed – the stand we chose did not serve the best corn dog we ever have eaten but we managed to get it down and decided if a second dog were needed, we’d find another snack stand! Then we wanted cowboy hats and went on that search and found some adorable straw hats that looked good and could be shaped to our comfort level. Basically keep the sun out of our eyes – ya, sun that thing we haven’t seen in days!
Franklin’s grandstand is HUGE and man, the hike up the sucker is truly a physical challenge. Coming down was no piece of cake either. And the bench itself was aluminum with ridges – a tad hard on the butt! After a bit your ass feels like a ridge and slowly goes numb with this slow aching pain – all you want to do is get up and move, or find a nice soft place to plant your ass for a few minutes – what a relief that would have been! Sadly we regretted our choice not to purchase track seats, for ten bucks, and we’d of had metal chairs with backs and closer to Phil, which would have allowed for close up photos. Sometimes being cheap is stupid and this was one of those moments! Oh well, live and learn.
All and all a fun Friday night and as we drove home, it was one dark night and we worried about the deer, who seem to love to cross at the darkest time. And of course we ran into a few showers too. Oh well, home safe and sound and happy we went.
Oh just in case you wonder, Phil Vassar truly puts on a great show and he's truly a nice man too. We'd go see him perform again in a heartbeat!
Have a great weekend -- stay safe and keep smiling!
On my walk the other day, I noticed cattails – ya, big deal, eh? Well, I have seen them most of my life but never gave them much more than a look. By that I mean, I didn’t do any in-depth study about them. So it was time, so here goes – ready or not!
In early spring the roots are edible and choice. They can be pealed and eaten raw, but Survive Outdoors strongly suggests boiling. It can be served with butter and seasoning to increase the flavor. The pollen of cattails can be shaken into bags and dried and used as protein rich flour for cooking. [OMG this sounds just yummy!]
Cattails at this stage with the brown tops can be soaked in kerosene and used as torches for light. Although the burning time may be short, it is a useful light source. Dried tops also make great tinder for starting fires.
I can see you are very impressed – but what I really wanted to share with some photos. In particular this cattail that looks like a pretzel – now, this is just to cute not to share with you and the other photo is when cattails are done and “fluff” out – kind of impressive and makes a great photo.
Friday nights entertainment fair choices were: St. Lawrence County fair had the Monster Truck Pull OR Franklin County Fair had the Phil Vassar concert – which one would you pick? My daughter and I chose Phil and what a great concert. I found the sound a bit loud, I know, it’s a concert it’s supposed to be loud. But too much base makes my ears ache [call me old but still with my hearing vs. young people who need everything loud to hear at all!]. However my daughter had no problems, she sang along, cheered, yelled and had a blast.
Prior to the attendance we had to have the mandatory “corn dog” and sadly we were disappointed – the stand we chose did not serve the best corn dog we ever have eaten but we managed to get it down and decided if a second dog were needed, we’d find another snack stand! Then we wanted cowboy hats and went on that search and found some adorable straw hats that looked good and could be shaped to our comfort level. Basically keep the sun out of our eyes – ya, sun that thing we haven’t seen in days!
Franklin’s grandstand is HUGE and man, the hike up the sucker is truly a physical challenge. Coming down was no piece of cake either. And the bench itself was aluminum with ridges – a tad hard on the butt! After a bit your ass feels like a ridge and slowly goes numb with this slow aching pain – all you want to do is get up and move, or find a nice soft place to plant your ass for a few minutes – what a relief that would have been! Sadly we regretted our choice not to purchase track seats, for ten bucks, and we’d of had metal chairs with backs and closer to Phil, which would have allowed for close up photos. Sometimes being cheap is stupid and this was one of those moments! Oh well, live and learn.
All and all a fun Friday night and as we drove home, it was one dark night and we worried about the deer, who seem to love to cross at the darkest time. And of course we ran into a few showers too. Oh well, home safe and sound and happy we went.
Oh just in case you wonder, Phil Vassar truly puts on a great show and he's truly a nice man too. We'd go see him perform again in a heartbeat!
Have a great weekend -- stay safe and keep smiling!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Scale Witch
Am I the only one who is getting just a tad sick of all these diet programs and how this pill or that pill will do the trick? In some cases, this pill will see you drop 20 pounds in one week! Twenty pounds –what, you don’t eat, right?
Then there’s this other pill – acaiberry or some such thingy and this is like a laxative and of course, it too will see a weight drop. It’s gonna drop because you’re gonna defecate yourself skinny! Hell, why not just buy a laxative and save yourself a few pennies. Wait, none of this appeals; ok we got “green tea” --- again, you drink, potty and lose weight. Sweet Martha we got so many damn options out here, no wonder we are still over weight – we can’t decide which is best for us so we chose NADA!
I admit I have issues with diets and mostly because I half expect them to work faster than is possible. I mean if I decrease my food intake, up my physical activity and stick on some point system for a week, I truly expect that bitch bathroom scale to reflect a drop in pounds. When I see a mere pound I am pissed beyond words. How is that possible? I am wearing clothes I could not even fit my fat ass into earlier this summer and now can and still I am not losing – how the hell is that possible? Oh you merely shift the fat around – you didn’t drop it. So the pants fit that did not before but due to shifting the tops won’t is that the idea?
Ya, you know my take on bathroom scales –hate’em with a passion. They do not take into account my age, height, bone structure, etc., but somehow has the nerve to display my weight – yuck!!! Okay, I am slowly getting this rage under control, I only weigh myself once a week and I refuse to let it upset me too much. The rest of the time I just continue to stick to the point diet system and I did increase my morning walk from 30 to 45 minutes.
Supposedly the pounds will leave and I will have developed a healthier eating habit and best of all, this new eating habit will help me keep those unwanted pounds off too. Gee, I had no idea my eating habits were that bad but hey, I did stop smoking and its true, you do gain weight when you quit. Hey, I’m still glad I quit and I will drop those extra pounds too.
So I will continue this desire to drop these unwanted pounds and no, I am not waiting for the Fall or winter months to diet, I need to do this now and I’ll bitch about the slow progress and at times blow it, by having a piece of cake or drinking not one but two beers, but eventually I will win this battle.
So hang in there, gang, we shall overcome these damn pounds – we are stronger than them and we can force them off our bodies and keep them off (say that three times and smile like a fool?)
Then there’s this other pill – acaiberry or some such thingy and this is like a laxative and of course, it too will see a weight drop. It’s gonna drop because you’re gonna defecate yourself skinny! Hell, why not just buy a laxative and save yourself a few pennies. Wait, none of this appeals; ok we got “green tea” --- again, you drink, potty and lose weight. Sweet Martha we got so many damn options out here, no wonder we are still over weight – we can’t decide which is best for us so we chose NADA!
I admit I have issues with diets and mostly because I half expect them to work faster than is possible. I mean if I decrease my food intake, up my physical activity and stick on some point system for a week, I truly expect that bitch bathroom scale to reflect a drop in pounds. When I see a mere pound I am pissed beyond words. How is that possible? I am wearing clothes I could not even fit my fat ass into earlier this summer and now can and still I am not losing – how the hell is that possible? Oh you merely shift the fat around – you didn’t drop it. So the pants fit that did not before but due to shifting the tops won’t is that the idea?
Ya, you know my take on bathroom scales –hate’em with a passion. They do not take into account my age, height, bone structure, etc., but somehow has the nerve to display my weight – yuck!!! Okay, I am slowly getting this rage under control, I only weigh myself once a week and I refuse to let it upset me too much. The rest of the time I just continue to stick to the point diet system and I did increase my morning walk from 30 to 45 minutes.
Supposedly the pounds will leave and I will have developed a healthier eating habit and best of all, this new eating habit will help me keep those unwanted pounds off too. Gee, I had no idea my eating habits were that bad but hey, I did stop smoking and its true, you do gain weight when you quit. Hey, I’m still glad I quit and I will drop those extra pounds too.
So I will continue this desire to drop these unwanted pounds and no, I am not waiting for the Fall or winter months to diet, I need to do this now and I’ll bitch about the slow progress and at times blow it, by having a piece of cake or drinking not one but two beers, but eventually I will win this battle.
So hang in there, gang, we shall overcome these damn pounds – we are stronger than them and we can force them off our bodies and keep them off (say that three times and smile like a fool?)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Happy Mental Health Day
The love story of Ralph and Edna...
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health Day!
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health Day!
Damp Weather
What is it about continual wet weather that dampens our spirits and energy levels? Is it the fact that wet weather means staying inside? Hell, half of us stay inside anyway because it’s too damn hot to be outside except early morning or late evening, so that doesn’t make much sense!
Is it the mere idea that if we go outside we’ll get wet, our hair will get damp and our clothes will smell from dampness? While all of these concepts have merit it does not explain why our energy levels go down and all we want to do is curl up with a book, watch TV or take a nap! Hey, we all need “down” days and there is nothing wrong with doing nothing – hell; nothing is good for you too. In my simple mind, there is something magical about wet weather that can invoke so many emotions and cause so much upheaval in people’s lives. It just flat out amazes me and I don’t know why!
So here is my suggestions – what the hell, its stuff we should do or should have done weeks ago, so why not make it a wet day plan? Let’s start with those junk drawers, yes we all have them and for months we have thrown crap into them and well, it’s time to clean them out. Some stuff we ain’t ever gonna use and should have been tossed months ago, so toss it all ready!
Now move on to the closets – hell, we got clothes we haven’t worn in years and most likely we’ll never fit into again anyway. And if my some miracle we did, they’d be so outdated people would point at us and say; “thrift shop or costume party?” Ya, like we want that notation! Same-same with those pairs of shoes that line the closet floor or some hanging shoe bag – how many damn pairs of shoes do we need hanging around anyway? Time to sort and toss them out too or take them to good will.
Now we’re really getting our energy level up and perhaps we can tackle the basement – oh ya, that hole in the ground where we have stacked boxes, trunks and bags for months – time to go through them too. Toys our children played with and those kids are now grandparents – do we really need to keep them or should we give them to our kids? Hell let them store them and free up the basement, which could be fixed up and become our hiding spot or craft area or sewing center or even a quiet place to have a nice glass of wine.
The point is we do not need to permit the wet weather to control our emotions or invoke this damn low energy level. It’s our job to make any weather work for us and we can do it – we just gotta change our attitudes.
As for me, I’m taking a nap! Or maybe I’ll haul out the crock pot and try a new recipe --- I just refuse to let wet weather dictate how I shall conduct my daily life.
Is it the mere idea that if we go outside we’ll get wet, our hair will get damp and our clothes will smell from dampness? While all of these concepts have merit it does not explain why our energy levels go down and all we want to do is curl up with a book, watch TV or take a nap! Hey, we all need “down” days and there is nothing wrong with doing nothing – hell; nothing is good for you too. In my simple mind, there is something magical about wet weather that can invoke so many emotions and cause so much upheaval in people’s lives. It just flat out amazes me and I don’t know why!
So here is my suggestions – what the hell, its stuff we should do or should have done weeks ago, so why not make it a wet day plan? Let’s start with those junk drawers, yes we all have them and for months we have thrown crap into them and well, it’s time to clean them out. Some stuff we ain’t ever gonna use and should have been tossed months ago, so toss it all ready!
Now move on to the closets – hell, we got clothes we haven’t worn in years and most likely we’ll never fit into again anyway. And if my some miracle we did, they’d be so outdated people would point at us and say; “thrift shop or costume party?” Ya, like we want that notation! Same-same with those pairs of shoes that line the closet floor or some hanging shoe bag – how many damn pairs of shoes do we need hanging around anyway? Time to sort and toss them out too or take them to good will.
Now we’re really getting our energy level up and perhaps we can tackle the basement – oh ya, that hole in the ground where we have stacked boxes, trunks and bags for months – time to go through them too. Toys our children played with and those kids are now grandparents – do we really need to keep them or should we give them to our kids? Hell let them store them and free up the basement, which could be fixed up and become our hiding spot or craft area or sewing center or even a quiet place to have a nice glass of wine.
The point is we do not need to permit the wet weather to control our emotions or invoke this damn low energy level. It’s our job to make any weather work for us and we can do it – we just gotta change our attitudes.
As for me, I’m taking a nap! Or maybe I’ll haul out the crock pot and try a new recipe --- I just refuse to let wet weather dictate how I shall conduct my daily life.
HOW DRY I AIN’T
Ya, I know, we all are sick of this wet weather and guess what, even Florida that usually wants rain is sick of it now too. Considering this state was mostly underwater and swamp land to begin with, lots of rain tends to make them nervous, like they’re reverting back to the wetlands or something.
Anyway, there’s a small break in the weather and I’m headed outside for my morning walk, wish me luck – I’ll either complete it dry and cool or return soaked to the bone – either way, I’ll have gone on my walk – now that my friends is determination or bloody stupidity, take your pick.
Now for some nonsense news briefs – what the hell, it’s raining again and this is better than some deep, philosophical crap none of us understands or wants to read.
According to TV Guide, Charlie Sheen is TV's highest paid actor, taking home an estimated $825,000 an episode for his work on TV's top sitcom, CBS' Two and a Half Men. (That includes ownership in the show.) CSI star and exec producer William Petersen follows with $600,000 an episode. As for the women, Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay comes in first with a payday of $400,000, while The Closer's Kyra Sedgwick is runner-up with $275,000. [Damn, this made my day – I want to be on TV and get paid like this? My show – BS and More!]
I’m not usually one to get into politics (unless I’m hammered and up for a good debate) but John McCain must really be losing his marbles. He volunteered his wife Cindy to compete in a beauty pageant that often has topless, and sometimes bottomless, women in it. I bet Cindy was thrilled!
“I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said at a rally in Sturgis, South Dakota.
“I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip,” he added.
ESPN.com columnist Jim Caple wrote that one scene at the pageant resulted in a woman “dancing naked on a bar top.” [Oh ya, I like this candidate like I like a dentist appointment – ye gads!]
Now this one really will rock your boat – hang on kids this is just too good:
Lisa Marie Presley broke the news to ET Tuesday that she's having twins with hubby Michael Lockwood, and now mom Priscilla Presley has the dish on her upcoming bundles of joy!
"It's her time to celebrate with her husband," Priscilla tells our own Mark Steines. "My daughter is a very family girl. She loves children, and I know that she and Michael have been hoping for this for a long time."
Priscilla says that twins run in the family "on Elvis' side and on my side too. I have twin brothers, and then, of course, Elvis had a twin brother [that died at birth]."
"You kind of start seeing double," she says with a laugh, adding that at home, "We don't say grandma, we say 'Nona' -- it means 'Grandma' in Italian. There's just such a connotation with Grandma and I just liked it better. [Lisa Marie's children] say it so sweet: 'Nona.'" [sorry Priscilla I am not buying that "such connotation to the word Grandma -- you just think by saying Nona it deflects from the reality that you are a grandmother -- ye gads. Hey, what’s with all the facial enhancements?]
Okay, I have completed my walk and the rain held off – its back to raining now, and have cooled down, so it’s off to the showers. I was considering visiting the county fair today but sorry, even I don’t care to walk about in the rain – yuck. So, I shall curl up with a book and call it a day. OR I could come back and post something else later on – ya, whatever floats my boat, right?
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
Anyway, there’s a small break in the weather and I’m headed outside for my morning walk, wish me luck – I’ll either complete it dry and cool or return soaked to the bone – either way, I’ll have gone on my walk – now that my friends is determination or bloody stupidity, take your pick.
Now for some nonsense news briefs – what the hell, it’s raining again and this is better than some deep, philosophical crap none of us understands or wants to read.
According to TV Guide, Charlie Sheen is TV's highest paid actor, taking home an estimated $825,000 an episode for his work on TV's top sitcom, CBS' Two and a Half Men. (That includes ownership in the show.) CSI star and exec producer William Petersen follows with $600,000 an episode. As for the women, Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay comes in first with a payday of $400,000, while The Closer's Kyra Sedgwick is runner-up with $275,000. [Damn, this made my day – I want to be on TV and get paid like this? My show – BS and More!]
I’m not usually one to get into politics (unless I’m hammered and up for a good debate) but John McCain must really be losing his marbles. He volunteered his wife Cindy to compete in a beauty pageant that often has topless, and sometimes bottomless, women in it. I bet Cindy was thrilled!
“I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said at a rally in Sturgis, South Dakota.
“I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip,” he added.
ESPN.com columnist Jim Caple wrote that one scene at the pageant resulted in a woman “dancing naked on a bar top.” [Oh ya, I like this candidate like I like a dentist appointment – ye gads!]
Now this one really will rock your boat – hang on kids this is just too good:
Lisa Marie Presley broke the news to ET Tuesday that she's having twins with hubby Michael Lockwood, and now mom Priscilla Presley has the dish on her upcoming bundles of joy!
"It's her time to celebrate with her husband," Priscilla tells our own Mark Steines. "My daughter is a very family girl. She loves children, and I know that she and Michael have been hoping for this for a long time."
Priscilla says that twins run in the family "on Elvis' side and on my side too. I have twin brothers, and then, of course, Elvis had a twin brother [that died at birth]."
"You kind of start seeing double," she says with a laugh, adding that at home, "We don't say grandma, we say 'Nona' -- it means 'Grandma' in Italian. There's just such a connotation with Grandma and I just liked it better. [Lisa Marie's children] say it so sweet: 'Nona.'" [sorry Priscilla I am not buying that "such connotation to the word Grandma -- you just think by saying Nona it deflects from the reality that you are a grandmother -- ye gads. Hey, what’s with all the facial enhancements?]
Okay, I have completed my walk and the rain held off – its back to raining now, and have cooled down, so it’s off to the showers. I was considering visiting the county fair today but sorry, even I don’t care to walk about in the rain – yuck. So, I shall curl up with a book and call it a day. OR I could come back and post something else later on – ya, whatever floats my boat, right?
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
Sunday, August 3, 2008
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
Here they are -- we waited a long time for these but they are now available - you will notice some are intended for men as well -- enjoy and remain strong!
§ DAMITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can got to hell for up to 8 full hours!
§ EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
§ ST. MOMMA’S WORT: Plant extract that treats Mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
§ PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drinks for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
§ DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
§ FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
§ MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increase resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person.”
§ BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration and credit limit of spending spree.
§ JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
§ ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
§ NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Depressed? Overworked? Job Suck? Unappreciated? Family Problems? Money Worries?
Well here is a pill for you FUKITOL – when life just blows ----Fukitol!
§ DAMITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can got to hell for up to 8 full hours!
§ EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
§ ST. MOMMA’S WORT: Plant extract that treats Mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
§ PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drinks for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
§ DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
§ FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
§ MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increase resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person.”
§ BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration and credit limit of spending spree.
§ JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
§ ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
§ NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Depressed? Overworked? Job Suck? Unappreciated? Family Problems? Money Worries?
Well here is a pill for you FUKITOL – when life just blows ----Fukitol!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Gadgets and Things
Wow, August all ready – where in hell did July go? Am I the only one who thought July flew by? Make that “rained by?” Whatever I hope August will be a bit dryer but who in hell knows, the forecast for Saturday indicates “thunderstorms and scattered showers.” I may never get my lawn mowed but then, tall grass has a certain appeal too!
Anyway, last week I went to Syracuse and spent a few days with my sister and then, she brought me back home and spent a few days with me – needless to say, we have had our sister fix for a couple weeks! Ya gotta understand we have a great time together and laugh a lot and somehow we “push, encourage, force, stimulate, convince,” each other to do things. Like she needed to weed her garden and mow her lawn but just hated doing this alone, so between us we got it all done!
I arrived around 8am Tuesday morning and we immediately did breakfast – that was the first strong signal that any diet we were on was lost for the next few days – and I do mean lost! Not only would we eat whatever in hell we wanted, we’d consume as many beers as we wanted too – so screw the diet crap! Amazingly enough we discovered the store we really wanted to check out didn’t open until 10 a.m.! We looked at each other like everyone else had square heads because us farm girls get up before the sun and figured so should everyone else, and although we didn’t expect stores open at 6, 7 or even 8, we did think 9 was a reasonable hour! So we had time to kill and went to check out stores that did open at 9, and yes we did find some.
Ya gotta understand, we are gadget missionaries. We love to find new gadgets and search high and lo for these suckers. Now, admittedly at times we had no idea what a particular gadget’s purpose is but we usually buy it. Then the fun begins when friends come over and we leave it where they can’t help but see it and we wait for them to tell us or ask us what it is – talk about a wild discussion!
Now not everything can be classified as a gadget – some items are kitchen tools used on some cook show and we (1) want to see it with our eyes and/or (2) decided we want it in our kitchen! Unfortunately we are not always “clear” on what this tool is called but we usually know what it looks like. For example I was looking for a long handled square soup ladle ---we didn’t find one but that doesn’t mean we shan’t continue to search for one. Also we have found that some gadget or tool that seemed really cool and we’d like to have, is bloody damn expensive and loses its appeal PDQ (pretty damn quick).
Once we came north and now we had a new mission. My daughter wanted a homemade birthday cake, so my sister and I undertook that mission – do you know how long it has been since either of us made a cake from scratch? Ya, that long and it’ll be that long before we make another one!
Friday we decided to go fishing, and we did and we caught a few fish and tossed them back into the river – we just couldn’t image us cleaning fish. It was damn hot at the river and the sun was relentless and as it was humid, we were not having that much fun. So we came home and the birthday girl and hubby came over and we have birthday cake. That spoiled and negated any reason to fix dinner – we were full!
I settled in to watch Tennis but Sis was antsy and decided she’d “rearrange my cupboards.” Oh this is not new but it has been a few years. In fact, 20 some odd years ago she visited and at that time I tended to line up my spices in alphabetical order and this was enough to drive her nuts, so she switched them all around. I never lined up my spices after that number!
Now she was on a new mission and soon discovered we had quite a few items (cans and packages) of outdated (make that expired) goodies and it was time to toss them. This madness lead her to not only tossing the expired items but decided to arrange the cupboards so all the soups were in one spot, all the baked goods in another, canned veggies in another, pasta, etc, you get the picture right? Now, I am still trying to watch a tennis match and I’d hear; “1978! 1978, don’t ya think this should be thrown out? Holy Martha, 1978!”
Yes, all these items needed to be tossed and I would never have used them and eventually even I would have cleaned them out of my cupboards, one of those chores that just escape you. Finally at 9 p.m. she quit and we both sat down watch some TV (you see, I also got involved in the cupboard cleansing!). She told me she was leaving early Saturday morning, rushing home and cleaning her cupboard and refrigerator before I show up down there again because pay back is a bitch! Are we strange or what? [Sis called once she got home, unpacked and seemingly settled in for the day. She decided she'd best clean her refrig before I came back and did it and called to tell me "I think I'll just buy a new one, this is way more cleaning than I want to do!"]
So Sis, thanks for everything and as usually, I had a great time and now we can rest and I think my next visit will be during the New York State Fair, and we’ll drive other people crazy!
Speaking of fair – The Governeur-St.Lawrence County Fair is next week and you should plan to attend and by all means, stop by the 4-H Youth Building, they always have some pretty amazing items on exhibit and prove again and again, not all youth are trouble makers or lazy, but rather ingenious kids who have found a great way to show off their talents through a proven “learn by doing” educational program.
He thinks Beethoven's Fifth is a bottle!
Anyway, last week I went to Syracuse and spent a few days with my sister and then, she brought me back home and spent a few days with me – needless to say, we have had our sister fix for a couple weeks! Ya gotta understand we have a great time together and laugh a lot and somehow we “push, encourage, force, stimulate, convince,” each other to do things. Like she needed to weed her garden and mow her lawn but just hated doing this alone, so between us we got it all done!
I arrived around 8am Tuesday morning and we immediately did breakfast – that was the first strong signal that any diet we were on was lost for the next few days – and I do mean lost! Not only would we eat whatever in hell we wanted, we’d consume as many beers as we wanted too – so screw the diet crap! Amazingly enough we discovered the store we really wanted to check out didn’t open until 10 a.m.! We looked at each other like everyone else had square heads because us farm girls get up before the sun and figured so should everyone else, and although we didn’t expect stores open at 6, 7 or even 8, we did think 9 was a reasonable hour! So we had time to kill and went to check out stores that did open at 9, and yes we did find some.
Ya gotta understand, we are gadget missionaries. We love to find new gadgets and search high and lo for these suckers. Now, admittedly at times we had no idea what a particular gadget’s purpose is but we usually buy it. Then the fun begins when friends come over and we leave it where they can’t help but see it and we wait for them to tell us or ask us what it is – talk about a wild discussion!
Now not everything can be classified as a gadget – some items are kitchen tools used on some cook show and we (1) want to see it with our eyes and/or (2) decided we want it in our kitchen! Unfortunately we are not always “clear” on what this tool is called but we usually know what it looks like. For example I was looking for a long handled square soup ladle ---we didn’t find one but that doesn’t mean we shan’t continue to search for one. Also we have found that some gadget or tool that seemed really cool and we’d like to have, is bloody damn expensive and loses its appeal PDQ (pretty damn quick).
Once we came north and now we had a new mission. My daughter wanted a homemade birthday cake, so my sister and I undertook that mission – do you know how long it has been since either of us made a cake from scratch? Ya, that long and it’ll be that long before we make another one!
Friday we decided to go fishing, and we did and we caught a few fish and tossed them back into the river – we just couldn’t image us cleaning fish. It was damn hot at the river and the sun was relentless and as it was humid, we were not having that much fun. So we came home and the birthday girl and hubby came over and we have birthday cake. That spoiled and negated any reason to fix dinner – we were full!
I settled in to watch Tennis but Sis was antsy and decided she’d “rearrange my cupboards.” Oh this is not new but it has been a few years. In fact, 20 some odd years ago she visited and at that time I tended to line up my spices in alphabetical order and this was enough to drive her nuts, so she switched them all around. I never lined up my spices after that number!
Now she was on a new mission and soon discovered we had quite a few items (cans and packages) of outdated (make that expired) goodies and it was time to toss them. This madness lead her to not only tossing the expired items but decided to arrange the cupboards so all the soups were in one spot, all the baked goods in another, canned veggies in another, pasta, etc, you get the picture right? Now, I am still trying to watch a tennis match and I’d hear; “1978! 1978, don’t ya think this should be thrown out? Holy Martha, 1978!”
Yes, all these items needed to be tossed and I would never have used them and eventually even I would have cleaned them out of my cupboards, one of those chores that just escape you. Finally at 9 p.m. she quit and we both sat down watch some TV (you see, I also got involved in the cupboard cleansing!). She told me she was leaving early Saturday morning, rushing home and cleaning her cupboard and refrigerator before I show up down there again because pay back is a bitch! Are we strange or what? [Sis called once she got home, unpacked and seemingly settled in for the day. She decided she'd best clean her refrig before I came back and did it and called to tell me "I think I'll just buy a new one, this is way more cleaning than I want to do!"]
So Sis, thanks for everything and as usually, I had a great time and now we can rest and I think my next visit will be during the New York State Fair, and we’ll drive other people crazy!
Speaking of fair – The Governeur-St.Lawrence County Fair is next week and you should plan to attend and by all means, stop by the 4-H Youth Building, they always have some pretty amazing items on exhibit and prove again and again, not all youth are trouble makers or lazy, but rather ingenious kids who have found a great way to show off their talents through a proven “learn by doing” educational program.
He thinks Beethoven's Fifth is a bottle!
Mid-Life
Puhl-eeee-eze, do not ask me to define mid-life – hell, anything with a zero could be mid-life, right? Let’s just say most think of mid-life, for women at least at the menopause phase and lately, we have seen TV shows talking about how great this phase is – are they nuts?
Lemme give ya a few mid-life facts and if you can relate, just smile and know you are not alone, okay?
- Mid-life is when the growth of hair on your legs slows down. This gives you plenty of time to care for your newly acquired mustache.
- In mid-life women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.
- Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
- Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
- Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream: “Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell and those will too.”
- Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.
- Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: “For this I have stretch marks?”
- In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
- Mid-life means that your Body by Jake now includes Legs by Rand McNally—more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
- Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I get before it’s no longer a Healthy Choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when?
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we’ve acquired? That’s my philosophy and I’m sticking to it!
Keep honking, I’m reloading.
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