Friday, February 27, 2009

Rednecks At It Again

This has to be the village idiot or the intellect who has discovered a way to insure childhood obesity?

Thankfully "they" do not live around here -- if they did, we'd want to try this too.



You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

  1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
  3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
  5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
  6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.......!'
  7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
  8. Your wife's hairdo was e ruined by a ceiling fan.
  9. Your junior prom offered day care.
  10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '
  11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
  17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

***********

Now imagine (yes, you gotta use your mind here) that the following are road signs, okay?

  • Where The Hell is Easy Street?
  • If Money is the Root of All Evil, Why Do Churches Beg For It?
  • Keep Honking -- I'm reloading.
  • Work Harder -- Millons on Welfare Depend on YOU.
  • Breast Inspection 20 Feet Ahead (Please Have'em Out)
  • I am Not An Alcoholic - I'M A DRUNK (alcoholics go to meetings)
  • Take Your Ex Out Tonight (One bullet Oughtta Do it)

Thar, don't you feel better because you smiled, laughed or have a few moments of total nonsense? Thought so, have a good one!!

Oh Ya, watch out we're in a wind advisory -- holy sheet, more trees and branches coming down....hells bells!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just drove from Burlington, VT & was it ever windy!! Holy Sheet!! (To quote YOU!) It was all I could do to keep my truck in my own lane!! I gave LOTS of room to on-coming big rigs! We took lots of rest stops because my arms, neck, & back got so sore from hanging onto the wheel! We turned a three & a half hour trip into a six hour marathon! But we got breakfast, shopping, lunch, & shopping done! :0)

Pat said...

Moonbeam, I am just happy to hear you are home safe and safe. I wanted to say "sound" but that is dumb, you are sound or you wouldn't be driving.

Well, at least you got fed --good on ya...later....