Spring Classes for Men

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, May 15, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, May 18, 2009

• Class 1 - How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?Round Table Discussion.Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
• Class 3 -Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
• Class 5 - After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?Examples on Video.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 6 --Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
• Class 7 - Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.Open Forum .Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
• Class 8 - Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
• Class 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.
• Class 11 - Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing.Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
• Class 12 - How to be the Ideal Shopping CompanionRelaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 13 - How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 14 - The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration.Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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Don't forget, tomorrow is Mother's Day, did you buy her a gift? Send a card? Plan to call or visit her? Hey, let's keep Mom happy, she can be a real trip when she's upset!!!