Willy's Wedding Night

At 85 years of age, Willy married Anne, a lovely 25 year old.Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their weddingshe and Willy should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Willy, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Willy takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Willy. Again he is ready for more 'action.' Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Willy kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it..... Willy is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action.' And, once again they enjoy each other.

But as Willy gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.You are truly a great lover, Willy.'

Willy, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Anne and says: .......'You mean I've been here already?'

Don't be afraid of getting old, senior moments have their advantages.

May Almost Over

Yup, the last day of May is upon is and it's a morning that is overcast and all ready seen rain. Does that mean the entire day is gonna be a damp, chilly day?

Yes, I too am sick of the wet stuff and like everyone else, once the sun does come out or the rain stops, I am outside looking like a mole person too. It felt good to get outside a little bit yesterday. Managed to weed my flower garden, put up a flower trestle -- damn, that plant needed something to climb up and even managed to fill the bird feeders so the birds are happy once again. Ya, I know, you don't give a rip but I truly do enjoy watchng these silly birds. Now, when it gets truly nice and I can actually sit on my deck, I may not want all those birds about and bird shit is not exactly pleasant but hey, got me a garden hose and this crap can be washed away.

So, more French Open tennis today and more drama from Serena Williams. I have watched that replay numerous times and I can't be sure the ball hit her opponent but she obviously believes that was the case and called her a cheater. Then in the final set, she got into a coughing fit that went on forever and ever...she loves drama and man, she is the drama queen. I am no fan of Serena's but I do give her credit for being a great tennis player. I much prefer her older sister who, in my opinion, has more class and can win or lose gracefully -- crediting her oponents with great play too.

So tomorrow we greet June. What does this month bring us:

• June 14th is Flag day.


• June 21st is Father's Day and the first day of summer


• End of School and summer vacation

Have a good one, keep smiling.

Weather and Tips

When you walk out the door in the morning and see this in the sky......

go back inside, have another cup of coffee, and stay home. It's NOT going to be a good day.


Tip on retrieving something you drop down the sink Just watch..... It’s quick and useful! Good for jewlery! This is one of those tips you wish you had known about before you took the sink apart or called the plumber!!!!! It is a great tip and it saves money....how much better can it get?!

www.familyhack.com/2007/08/29/drain-tip

&&&&&&&

Yes it is Saturday morning, one more day and we can wrap up the month of May --- gee, what can we expect from June -- sunshine? Now that would be a shock, eh?

I noticed my flower garden is full of weeds, hell, the weeds are higher than the flowers and until it drys up, the weeds shall rule -- gotta love weeds...what choice do you have at the moment!!!

Another dreary day, thank goodness I got the French Tennis Open to watch -- or I'd truly be bonkers. Have a good day...keep smiling

Jane and Arlene

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.

Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy..

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

Airport Humor

A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, 'I’ll give it a try and see what it tells me.'

She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in, out came a card that read, 'you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, and you are going to Chicago.' The nun sat back down. She told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone.

The more she thought about it the more curious she got so she decided to try it again she went back to the machine and again put her nickel in, and out came a card that read: 'you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle.'

The nun says to herself, 'I know that is wrong, I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life.' she sat back down. From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy's case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.

Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking, ‘this is incredible, I’ve got to try this again.' Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. it read, 'you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you are going to break wind.'

Now she knows the machine is wrong, as she thought to herself, 'I’ve never broken wind in public a single time in my life...' but getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind. Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine.

She said to herself, 'this is truly remarkable... I’ve got to try this again.’ she went back to the machine, put in another nickel and another card came out.

It read, 'you are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago.

GRADUATION

I have, over the years participated in and/or witnessed many graduations. Such as High School, college, tech schools, military schools, FBI Academy (no sheet), Training Schools and so on, but nothing, and I mean Nothing tops a Kindergarten graduation!

If you have not witnessed one of these, you have not had a full life. This is so amazing, fun, entertaining and delightful to watch you’ll surprised yourself with just how much you enjoyed yourself. The kids sport the infamous mortarboard head gear, which they find difficult to keep in place causing them to “mess with it” constantly. They have to stand or sit while this and that is taking place, mostly hearing their remarks as to what they enjoyed the most about kindergarten. This ranges from recess-to-math-to-reading-back to recess! Finally they get to perform and sing various songs for us and these are delightful and man, do they sing – top of the lungs singing mind ya. Eventually, they get in line and walk to the Principal to get their certificate. After the ceremony, everyone heads to their classroom to get the real certificate and photos with the teacher.

Then its home for the real party or at least that is what transpired for my granddaughter. As presents were opened, she needed help with one (damn plastic wrap) and her mother said, “This is for kids 3 years and up.” Without skipping a beat Ella replied, “I AM UP!” So for the next hour or so it was watching her unwrap gifts, having a delicious meal, taking loads of photos and eventually wrapping up a very special day, one I was so glad I did not miss!

Weather-wise, northern Minnesota was having lousy damp weather just like upstate New York. I think we had one non-rainy day and the sun actually shone all day, temps in the 60s and folks were in shorts and claiming it was hot. Hot my arse, the breeze off those lakes was damn chilly in my book! But it was dry and folks were outside, mowing lawns, planting gardens, flowers, even attempting to tan a bit -- it was truly a sunny day for everyone (except me who was still chilled).

Now with all the rain, there is considerable flood warnings and a guy who lives in Lisbon, ND, claims he lives between two dikes and so far, he is fine, no flooding and he has no issue with anyone. However, some clowns feel Minnesota should pay taxes for these dikes or some such shit and as the dikes are in ND, Minnesota is not overly inclined to want to pay taxes for them. Gee, they aren’t as dumb as some folks think, are they? Ya, and you thought dikes were what?!

So between graduation, flood warnings, rain and high winds, I got to enjoy my grandkids including getting them up, fed, dressed and out the door in time to catch the school bus, then watched my grandson play baseball, my granddaughter at her dance class, and of course school award ceremonies. In-between these events I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with Sheri and Dean. Even the grandmothers got to do lunch with no grandkids and that was cool and fun, thanks again Lu. On Sunday, it was BBQ time at the Cass house and man; Jim can grill up a steak that just melts in your mouth.

Of course, you do realize the exercise and diet was shot completely, right? I ate more red meat on this trip than I have eaten in years. And of course the beer was going down easily too and had more of them than I needed but what the hell, its vacation, right? Oh ya, they held a gun to my head to make me eat this red meat and drink all those beers too. Damn kids!

Now I need to check out my emails, MySpace, facebook and all other sorts of information places, however the most important thing to do is watch the French Open. Yes, tennis matches – what in hell did you think I meant? Don’t answer that.

So, while the rain continues to pour down and make us all bonkers, find something to keep you smiling, okay?

LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

" OK, " she said.... 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea....'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

Yes, I am back from my latest trip and lots to share, including the story of a man in North Dakota who lives between two dikes and is quite proud of this accomplishment. But for now, I am off to Curves to exercise and back into my daily fitness routine. Vacations are nice but mine screw up my weight loss big time -damn beer.

More Later....come on back and get a few giggles..

GETTING WARMER

Hey, don’t shoot the messenger but it’s supposed to hit 59, maybe 60 degrees here in Warroad, Minnesota. Like us, they too have been having some lousy, damp, chilly and down right cold weather lately. So these temps are greeted with high expectations.

I left New York yesterday, nice drive to Ottawa and West Jet flights are fantastic and great personnel. When I arrived in Winnipeg, it was overcast and a little chilly but not bad. My son greeted me with this huge smile on his face and when I said he looked tired he replied; “well, I had to carry your bike on my shoulder and had a head wind the entire way here. But we’ll have the wind to our backs going home!” Ya like that’s gonna happen -NOT!

Trips always have their moments and we had ours in Winnipeg. This is a lovely city and if you are careful, you can drive through it or around it with little trouble. Like any city rush-hour traffic is a bloody nightmare and of course, we were in the thick of it yesterday. To make matters worse, some “thing” or “one” hit a traffic post and knocked that light out of commission, so now we got two cops directing traffic. Not bad, eh? But wait, the pole was blocking half of the two lane highway, so now cars had to merge and get around this pole. Why didn’t they just pick up the pole and move it to the side? Bets me, must have been union cops, can’t do that work and if they were waiting for city maintenance to get there, lots of luck, it took us 45 minutes to get passed this mess!

My job this morning was great fun. I got to get the grandkids up, fix them breakfast (bowls of cereal, real impressive, huh?), make sure they washed their hands and face and brushed their teeth. Then it was get dressed for school, check out book bags and take what you supposed to take and then, have them outside to catch the bus. Oh man, this was easy and I was so proud of myself – then I happened to look and my grandson forgot his homework papers and the note asking that be allowed to ride the bus home today. Holy sheet – one day and I screwed up all ready. I gotta do better with this grandma work, eh?

Tomorrow is the big Kindergarten graduation and trust me; my granddaughter is all set and ready for this event. She has even instructed me where to stand or sit to get the best photos. As this ceremony takes place in a gym, it’s a lousy photographic area and a challenge to get anything other than “orange” looking photos! Well, I shall do my best and then, download and share will all of you.

That’s it for now – have a great day, keep smiling and more to follow soon.

True Redneck Tube Top!!!!

This was taken in front of the Gardendale, Alabama , Wal-Mart, where the young lady was shopping at the Flea market. Look at it closely.

Now I ask you...

Who stands and looks at a pair of men's briefs and says hummmm ..... I can make me a nice summer top from these!!

On the other hand ... $6 for a three pack is a good price!!

But what if they weren't bought new?

That's redneck recycling at its best.

Don't throw out yer feller's drawers when the skidmarks don't wash out no more.

Just cut the crotch out and wear 'em.

How very Green!

And what ideas do you have for us? Come on, what can you do with boxer shorts for example?

It Pays to Know PA Dutch

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.

The Amish man shouts:"Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die KÃhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!"

Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shit in it!"

The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim; I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, infidel!"

The Amish man shouts back in English:

"Use two hands, you'll get more!"

PONDERING-----

Don't ask, just enjoy this photo -- it caught my attention and my camera said; "snap this, snap this"and I did -- end of story.

And now on to the subject offered: Pondering...

Oh come on, like you never pondered or wondered why this or that happens or does this and not that? Ya, I thought so – see, we are more alike than different (damn that is scary, eh?).

What I ask you is the “cottage” in cottage cheese? Aha, now you are thinking and pondering this too, aren’t ya? Food historians speculate that cottage cheese was probably the first cheese. And it was undoubtedly made by accident (lot of births can make this claim too). Some anonymous nomad was probably carrying milk on a camel in the desert and at the end of the day found lumps rather than liquid. And much to the nomad’s surprise, the lumps tasted pretty good.

According to the United Dairy Industry Association, cottage cheese was made in the home all over Europe as far back as the Middle Ages. “It was w called ‘cottage’ because farmers made the cheese in their own cottages to utilize the milk remaining after the cream had been skimmed from it for butter making.”

See and you thought all this pondering was nonsense…not so silly now is it!!!

Okay, let’s have a few “frustables” – what the hell, it could be entertaining:

• Why do Americans, unlike Europeans, switch forks to the right hand after cutting meat? [Did someone give the Pilgrims radical etiquette lessons on the Mayflower? Is there any sense to the American method?]

• How, when and why did the Banana peel become the universal slipping agent in Vaudeville and Movies? [Vegetable oil would work better, no?]

• Why did the Grade E disappear from the grading scales in most schools? [An F makes sense as the lowest mark (F=failure); but why did the E get lost?]

Had enuff fun for today, how about you? Hey, the sun is shining but some clown is saying rain is expected later – that clown should be shot. Well, enjoy your day, I may be back later with more nonsense or not.

Keep smiling!

Speeding Ticket

I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT

Yes, just another day to go and I'm off again. Headed West this time and excited as hell. Well, how exciting can hell be? Yes it is a lovely day, a bit chilly this morning but the afternoon temp is rising -- currently 54 degrees. I can grill in this kind of weather and with the sun shining and just a light breeze, great grilling weather.

Packing? Oh let's not rush this number -- I won't depart until 11 am. on Wednesday, got plenty of time to pack -- never rush packing. If you do, you'll repack so many times you'll drive yourself bonkers! And in the process forget stuff...make a list, lay stuff out, pack and zip that suitcase and call it done -- end of story!

I heard a phrase today, that I have heard many times before but I just realized how dumb it sounds. "She (or he) wouldn't say shit if they had a mouth full of it!" Well, dumb nuts, could you say shit if your mouth was full of shit? Well, could you? See, I told you it was a dumb phrase. Now, think of others that rate right up there with this one!

Keep smiling...life is good!!!

The Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?

Well, they're gone.''No more headaches?' the husband asks,'What happened?'

His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, Stare at myself and repeat,' I do not have a headache '' I do not have a headache '' I do not have a headache 'Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.

'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.

His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, 'WOW! - That was wonderful!

The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying.'She's not my wife ''She's not my wife ''She's not my wife ''She's not my wife '

His funeral service will be held on Saturday

THERE’S NUTS AND THERE’S NUTS!

Are you ready for this? A 66 year old divorced woman, in England is pregnant. She’ll be 67 in July but that is neither here nor there, she is pregnant with her first child. Seems Britain wouldn’t buy into the IVF treatment so she went to the Ukraine and after a few treatments – tada—she is preggers!

Now her friends say she is a strong, healthy woman, owes her own business and can certainly afford to take care of this child as well as herself. In fact, she looks like she is 56 and hasn’t hide this pregnancy at all – she has embraced it and now, well, I guess she really looks pregnant and not just someone who added on a few pounds.

I gotta say or ask this – who in hell wants to start a family at 66 years of age? I mean, yes, many women want children and try for years and some adopt and some, well, they just never have them, but to have this treatment and become pregnant at this age – now in my book this is nuts! Do the math people: when this kid is six and starts school, how old will Mommy be?

On a more pleasant note, I shall be heading to Minnesota next week to witness my granddaughter's graduation from Kindergarten. Now this is truly worthwhile and shall be loads of fun. I will also get to see both grandkids compete or participate in the Track and Field Days which again is remarkable and fun to watch. Best of all, is time with my daughter-in-law, son and grandkids -- now that is gonna make me one happy Mama!

Plus it seems my youngest grandson is starting to ask many questions about my daughter’s baby and his cousin. Like “how does she get that baby out of her tummy?” “How long does it have to stay in there?” “Why doesn’t Uncle Dan just take it out now?” So, along with witnessing this wonderful graduation, I am sure I shall be on tap for the question and answer session too. I’m gonna need lots of beer!!

Have no idea what the freakin weather is gonna do today. It has that overcast gloom-look, which suggests rain. And we got various college graduations this weekend – hey, why should they have nice weather, eh? Plus many high schools are doing Prom tonight too. Yup, gonna be a busy weekend for many folks – how delightful.

Well, later (maybe) – I think hubby needs to get his arse out of bed and take me to breakfast. Keep smiling!

SILK PAJAMAS

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a Long weekend.

This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend....and also get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up."

"Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend he came home a little tired but, otherwise, looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bass, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to?

You'll love the answer..................

The wife replies, -- " I did, they're in your tackle box "

CDC UPDATE

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is, sadly, controlling your life.

Get help immediately.

And that folks-- is Friday -- how ya like it so far?

TV SHOWS

Before I get to my rant (views) on TV shows, let me say that Spring cleaning is stupid and useless. I mean, with all this friggin rain, all we can do is clean and that gets bloody damn old fast!!!

Therefore, no more cleaning, screw it, read a book, watch TV or nap, anything but clean -- damn, I feel better just saying that, how about you?

Okay I admit it, I like TV and usually I can find some show to watch, even repeats are sometimes fun to watch again and again. However lately TV has just flat out sucked! I keep seeing all these commercials for new shows and some really look promising and then they are yanked. Hells bells we didn’t even get to say they were bad and someone else has decided we won't like these suckers, end of show! How rude is that?

Now some shows are just plain dumb and I mean dumb. I can’t even laugh at “Everyone Loves Raymond” anymore because he annoys the hell outta me. What a whiny ass and Mama’s boy – ye gads. Only Deborah would tolerate this fool. Yes, I know, this is what makes this show entertaining – ya, rates right up there with watching ole people trip or fall, ya that’s funny too. Hell, King of Queens at least allow Doug to show some intelligence and his wife to be shown as anything but perfect all the freakin time. Not Raymond, it’s the same crap each show – he whines, does next to doing, wants sex constantly and yaks to his Mommy about everything – yuck!

One show that I enjoy is American Idol. I particularly enjoy the “weeding out and selecting” of contestants. Sometimes I am rolling on the floor as I watch some hopeful try to sing and impress the judges and wondering “have they ever listened to their own voice?” Now last night someone had to be voted off and next week, it’s the final show. I was a bit surprised to see Danny go but happy that the battle shall be between Adam and Kris. Make no mistake here, folks, the last three guys were all amazing and each had their own style and vocal range.

Many are sure the “rocker” groupies will cast enough votes to see Adam take the top prize but hey, let’s not rush things. There’s a special sweetness and gentleness to Kris that seems like Mom’s apple pie and at the same time, he’s got some great vocals and plays various instruments too boot, which is kinda cool in my book! Then again, Adam is Adam and that man can sing the friggin phone book and hey, he ain’t bad on the eyes either.

And of course, we seem to get wrapped up in sexuality. Is Adam gay? Is Kris straight? Who in hell cares – they can sing, this is a singing contest, right?

Well, did my morning walk – and now waiting for the rain to hit and it seems to be holding off but it’s gonna come down, mark my words. Soon I shall fire up the Wii Fit program and do that workout too. [did the Wii Fit program, fitness age today was 32 -- holy sheet!]

Now, I shall find other chores or maybe I’ll take a day off and just read a book!

You all have a good day, okay? Ya, keep smiling!!! Ya, if something interesting or humorous happens during the day, I shall be back and will share it with you--for now, we're above ground and happy, that is enuff!!!

Why Tired?

Okay, the sun came out and we all went nuts, including me. Got up earlier yesterday but that is normal (us farm kids tend to rise early, don’t ask me why.)

Here’s a run down on what I did – see if you can figure out why I felt exhausted by 7:30 last night:

• Put a load of towels on the washer around 6:30 a.m.
• Went for a 2 mile walk by 7:30 a.m.
• Did 45 minute workout with Wii Fit program -- fitness age today was 51 -- WTF (yesterday it was 41 -- damn, aging right before me eyes!)
• Got my new plates put on my car at the garage
• Went to Agway and bought top soil and flowering plants (six per bundle or some such shit).
• Went to visit my brother and sister-in-law and got to see my nephew, Matthew whom I had not seen in years. He's now an assistant chef on some cruise ship out of Hawaii.
• Stopped at Webster's and got me a London broil (for tonight), chicken breast and thighs and heads of lettuce and something else I can't remember at the moment.
• Came home and washed my car -- holy sheet -- actually it was more like a rinse off -- but that's fine, a wash is a wash.
• Filled the planters with top soil and added the new flowers, the put them along the walk way -- need more flowers but screw it, for now this is all I got.
• Fired up the riding lawn mower and mowed the front yard.
• Came inside and had lunch.[Highlight of the day]
• Refilled the bird feeders and jerry rigged a bird bath -- screw'em, if they don't like this, find their own damn water supply.
• This afternoon, fired up the push mower and trimmed areas hard to get with a riding mower and considered doing the back yard but decided I should save something for tomorrow...the trim work was hard enough -- pushing that damn mower around --sweet Agnes.
• Fired up the grill and grilled my London Broil -- oh man, was that sucker good -- got enough left over for two meals -- it was a honker piece of meat.
• Folded and took care of the towels I washed earlier in the day.

See, it makes no sense, right? I did manage to stay up and watch American Idol – I gotta tell ya, I really like Danny but I also like Adam – hell, I like all three – this is gonna be a tough one. And Simon confused me too...he was pretty sure Adam was his choice but after the performances last night, he's not leaning a bit more toward Danny, I think. Hell, even Kris blew us away last night -- what was funny was the damn judges -- they acted like five year olds.

Today I hope to get the back yard mowed – hey, that’s just riding lawn mower work, shouldn’t cause any major back aches. Well, the back yard isn’t exactly smooth but hey, a little bouncing around ain’t bad either. I did all the damn trim work yesterday. Plus, at noon I shall meet with a former colleague for lunch and we’ll swap lies and catch up on all the gossip and what have you. Its fun to have these lunches and hard to schedule a day and time that is good for both parties.

Hey, you all have a good day, okay? What the hell, get outside and soak up that Vitamin D aka sunshine and keep smiling!!!

Senior Moment

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors and to all of you who will become seniors.

It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well shit, so that's why no one was at church today."

Believe in Friends

Power of Believing in One's Friends

A contestant Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because .. Her friend was, well, blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: 'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.' The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.
'I need an answer,' said Meredith. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'
'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer.' And Meredith replied,

'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. 'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'

Sally fainted.

FLAT STANLEY

I did not realize this until later but whatever, my niece had called me weeks ago to ask if I would participate in some 3rd grade class project and I said, sure, sounds like fun.

The class is involved in a very fun and exciting Geography project based on the book “Flat Stanley” written by Jeff Brown. Through this experience students are hoping to learn about the different regions of New York State. In the book Flat Stanley is flattened by a falling bulletin board. One of the many advantages is that Flat Stanley can now visit his friends by traveling in an envelope.

So Stanley arrived in the mail on Saturday and I get to treat like a guest for 2-7 days. Take him places and record each of his adventures in his daily journal. There’s even a map so I can color where Stanley visited, which is cool (haven’t colored in years – love being a kid).

Now they even sent a disposal camera (return it and they’ll process the film) however I found my digital camera and email worked great and the teacher was able to download my letter(s) from Stanley and photos for the students. I even took photos of Stanley so they could see him too.

What was interesting was while at Curves this morning, I mentioned this project and within seconds other gals were saying they too had a Stanley sent to them and they loved the project too. Then we learned that Stanley has been all over the place, not just in New York State but other states as well. This is truly an amazing project and so much fun.

Sadly I have to mail him back at the end of the week but trust me, Stanley has had some fun adventures. I don’t think all of them should be shared with 3rd graders though – I mean, what would they think if they learned Stanley drank beer, ate fatty foods, etc.? Ya, see they don’t need to know this stuff and after learning he was underage, the booze was off limits (should of checked earlier, right).

Oh I’m really into this Wii Fit program too. Got my daughter doing it and while she is (1) younger, (2) more flexible, and (3) younger she was able to do many of the exercises much easier than me. However I am proud to announce that as of today my fitness age was 41 – now that is damn impressive!!! And I am losing weight at a very acceptable rate too…that definitely made me feel better. Oh this is a hoot and if you don’t rush it or get upset, you can enjoy these workouts.

I finally learned how to make the damn ski jump work too – had to lift my freakin feet –imagine. I thought I just had to extend my legs and fly thru the air – hell, my flying was down the bloody hill. Lift the legs and steady yourself and now you float down the ski jump and get a decent score. Hey, it’s all in fun and great exercise. So, I plan to do it everyday except Sunday (got chastised because I didn’t workout Sunday but hey, a gals gotta have a day of rest, right?).

Hey, the sun is shining, a tad chilly outside – earlier the temp was 34 degrees and currently it’s 53 and climbing. And yes, Damnit, I too had to turn the heat on yesterday –that damp chill was just too much and I was sick of being cold!

Keep smiling and have a great day!

Happy Mother's Day

Yes, to each and all, happy Mother's Day. I do hope you all have a special way of showing Mom just how much she means to you...hey, at the very least, call her and tell her you love her and if you forgot to mail her a card, well, you're screwed, so you'd best call her!!!

Scorpio Mom [this be me...]

The most important quality of a scorpion mother is that she is the best friend of her children. She always helps her children to confide their thoughts and problems in her. She's all in one-she's your mom; she's your best friend, your teacher, your role model and your guardian angel! This Mother's Day is the ideal time to tell her that she is indeed a great person. This is the time to honor her with a calm, pleasant and cozy dinner with the closest members of the family. This is also the ideal time to appreciate her about being a multifaceted woman.

My Mother Taught Me:

• To Value A Job Well Done"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
• Time Travel "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
• Logic"Because I said so, that's why."
• Foresight "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
• Irony"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
• Osmosis "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
• Stamina "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
• Weather "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
• Hypocrisy "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
• Circle Of Life "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
• Behavior Modification "Stop acting like your father!"
• Envy "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
• Anticipation "Just wait until we get home."
• Receiving "You are going to get it when you get home!"
• Medical Science "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
• How To Become An Adult "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
• Genetics "You're just like your father."
• Wisdom "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
• Justice "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

How many remember making Kleenex flowers (corsages) for Mom to wear to church on Mother's day? Me too, my mom would wear each one proudly, as each kid made her a corsage -- she didn't care that other women had on store bought corsages, she was happy with the Kleenex. Rest in peace Mom, we love and miss you and wherever you are HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Spring Classes for Men

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, May 15, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, May 18, 2009

• Class 1 - How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?Round Table Discussion.Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
• Class 3 -Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
• Class 5 - After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?Examples on Video.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 6 --Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
• Class 7 - Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.Open Forum .Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
• Class 8 - Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
• Class 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.
• Class 11 - Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing.Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
• Class 12 - How to be the Ideal Shopping CompanionRelaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.
• Class 13 - How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 14 - The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration.Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

&&&&&&

Don't forget, tomorrow is Mother's Day, did you buy her a gift? Send a card? Plan to call or visit her? Hey, let's keep Mom happy, she can be a real trip when she's upset!!!

Words of Wisdom -- I think

Yes, I intend to try the Wii Fit program again today. I went to Curves and now need to cool down before I begin the next exercise phase. I mean, let's not get to crazy here.

Hey, I will master this Wii Fit stuff or at the very least reach a point where I can do things without feeling like I am 300 years old. So thar!

Words of Wisdom

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN, WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss and It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah Set your watch back 20 years. In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

The statement below is true. The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

In Memoriam With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE - Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

I FOUND JESUS! He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana

I sometimes wonder why that Frisbee is getting bigger...Then it hits me

Thoughts

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.

What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Someone told me I was gullible and I believed him.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help ’groups’?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Wii Fit

It has taken me many months to finally find and buy the Wii Fit program and then, it was a few weeks before I finally set it up and used it…I mean, why rush this stuff, right?

Wii Fit features four main categories to choose from: Strength training, Aerobics, Yoga, and Balance Games. Trust me I needed no help deciding which level to begin – BEGINNER!

Plus I was very willing to watch the “demo” before I even attempted to do any of these exercises. I was amazed to learn I needed to work on my balance…hey, I haven’t fallen down or walk crooked but still, my balance could use some work – huh! [ya, without a beer in my hand, my balance would be perfect]

As you do your daily training, you’ll earn more Fit Credits and add them to the Fit Bank. As they add up, more activities will be opened up for you. I was doing the ski program – which wasn’t too bad, again its balance and movement and I actually made it down the hill and thru the gates (ya I missed some too). Then I tried my luck with the ski jump – holy sheet – three times I extended my legs to early and fell. The fourth time extended my legs to late and fell…so, that ended that game for today – try again tomorrow.

Bottom line these are very humbling programs and with any exercise program, slow down and don’t get discouraged. None of us like to be told we are obese, we need to work on our balance, strength, etc but even worse, the screen that pops up with the fit age – now that sucker can really blow your mind. Don’t mind it when it reads way below my real age but ABOVE – shits the bed!!!

So another program to challenge me and yes, I will keep working at it and no I will not share any of the good stuff with you – why make you sick!

Yes, it is raining and that means one needs to find other things to do, for me its clean inside the house, not a favorite past time but one that needs some effort and attention. Whatever you do today, smile, okay?

Teachers and Cops

Teachers & Cops… These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6 . The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. '
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'

Just Stuff

Yup, Moose remains "king of the hill," and that's only fair and just.

Today I just grabbed various headlines and made a few comments to share with you...nothing all that exciting.

Waiting to see if it's gonna rain and if so, that screws up my plan for this afternoon...oh well, nap are still good!

Susan Boyle has been all over the news and it is refreshing to see a “normal, everyday, down to earth” individual bringing all of us back to reality. And man can she sing – what an amazing voice. Now she has to deal with her new look and all the crap this has created – Damnit, leave the woman alone!

Study says kids who watch adult TV may have sex earlier –

Researcher David Bickham said: "When kids watch media with sex and innuendos, they are more likely to engage in sexual activity earlier in life." He advises worried parents to ban TVs from kids' bedrooms, limit screen time to two hours a day and watch shows with their children.

Excuse me, but this is considered news? This line of reality has been around a long time and once again, some asswipe is making a case for himself and what, justifying his research dollars – hello, get a life!!!

Kirstie Alley: 'Yes, I Gained 83 Pounds'

Say and think what you want about this gal but Damnit she is real – like none of this stuff happens to us average folks, like bloody hell. Hey, all those prepared meal diets are great if you can afford the price of those meals and it is proportioned, prepared meals that you can do yourself with a little reading and time. Hey, Kirstie claims she will lose this weight and I for one believe her. You know what, give her a chance, she is just like the rest of us, up and down, fat, slim, heavy, light, come on, who in hell said because she’s an actor she can’t have weight issues, for crying out loud!!! Screw Jenny, Kirstie, go for Weight Watchers!!!

So on the weather front it sure as hell looks and feels like rain and according to our weather personnel, damp weather is gonna be with us for the rest of week and weekend -- oh sure, Mom's day will be wet -- what else is new!

Keep smiling folks -- life is good!

This N That

This is my grandson with his hockey team in Duluth, Minnesota where they played and took 3rd place. Not bad considering all players were "hand picked" from various teams to compete on this team. They had a blast and yes, they were exhausted too. Mine is the one in the upper left, hand on knee or as I call it, the handsome one!

Exercise for people over 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

~~~~~~~~

BEE STINGS

This information may be something to remember, as this season will soon be here again... It might be wise to carry a penny in your pocket while working in the yard.......... BEE STINGS!

A couple of weeks ago, I was stung by both a bee and hornet while working in the garden.My arm swelled up, so I went to the doctor. The clinic gave me cream and an antihistamine. The next day the swelling was getting progressively worse, so I went to my regular doctor. The arm was infected and needed an antibiotic.

The doctor told me - “The next time you get stung, put a penny on the bite for 15 minutes". That night, my niece was stung by two bees. I looked at the bite and it had already started to swell. So, I taped a penny to her arm for 15 minutes. The next morning, there was no sign of a bite. We decided that she just wasn't allergic to the sting.

Soon, I was gardening outside. I got stung again, twice by a hornet on my left hand. I thought, here I go again to the doctor for another antibiotic. I promptly got my money out and taped two pennies to my bites, then sat and sulked for 15 minutes. The penny took the string out of the bite immediately.In the meantime the hornets were attacking, and my friend was stung on the thumb. Again the penny.

The next morning I could only see the spot where the hornet had stung me. No redness, no swelling. My friend's sting was the same; couldn't even tell where she had been stung. She got stung again a few days later upon her back---cutting the grass! And the penny worked once again.

Wanted to share this marvelous information in case you experience the same problem. We need to keep a stock of pennies on hand.

The doctor said that the copper in the penny counteracts the bite.

It definitely works!Please remember and pass this information on to your friends, children, and grandchildren.

DC Vist

You want a flower hedge, how about this one? Man this was awesome. My niece definitely has a hit on her hands or in front of her rental.

Before I get into my travel, let me say this; there is an ole saying that we'll have a Black man as President when pigs fly? Well, one-hundred days into this presidency and we got swine flu!

Okay, all nonsense aside, I do think that travel restrictions are necessary these days and avoiding crowds is a good thing. Having said that, I did indeed head to Maryland and to the nation's capital this past weekend. It was one wet weekend and not that many fools were attempting to tour the DC area, which was a good thing, right?

Traffic in real ciTAYS is always unreal and in DC its just amazing. Thankfully my niece drove and she knows her way around this area, so it was no big deal for her...but hey, even she hates traffic and tailgaters!

See this monument? Damn we saw it constantly as we drove around looking for a parking space. Finally found one and asked my niece and daughter to stop and let me snap a photo -- now we can move on...thank goodness

Oh hell, you didn't actually think I would not take a photo of the White House, now did you? Get real - this is like a "must" shot or you haven't done your job....whatever, eh?

Once we did the DC tour and walked ourselves silly, we headed to Georgetown and within a few minutes, we found a place to eat, had cold drinks in front of us and we got to people watch for a while -- always a lovely treat. Then it was on to shopping. Three of the gals headed for Sephora -- make-up divas, while I stood outside and watched people get tickets for leaving cars parked longer than is tolerated. Hey, they are damn serious about the meters and parking areas -- damn serious.

Finally, we had had our fill and with sore feet, stuff heads and slight coughs we headed back to Maryland where my niece prepared us a lovely dinner and we, being good guests, emptied her booze supply (wine and beer). Hey, why else would anyone fill the liquor cabinet if they did not want us to empty it, eh?

Here's the bottom line, folks, I am done with traveling for a few weeks, need to rest my weary body and save up my pennies for the next adventure. I'm done with my cold but seemed to have passed it on to my daughter, which is not nice -- sheets to be her, eh?

To Meg, thanks a bunch, love ya Sweetie. And Sis, you know I love ya, right? And to my daughter, sorry you caught my cold, damn, I miss out on Mother of the Year again this year -- holy cow pie!

You all keep smiling and reading this blog...okay?